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Even before i know their types, i can always peg infjs because i'm so fucking attracted to them (moth to light kind of thing). Earlier in the semester, i was introduced to this wonderful guy. made him take the test to prove myself right (infj). right off the bat, he started telling me about his depression and loneliness, and the more we've gotten to know each other, the more he's divulged. partly bc, like i said, i'm obsessed with you guys and dig it out of you any way i can. partly probably bc he's genuinely lonely. and he doesn't really understand what peole to try and be personal with, and what people not to. (he's slightly? autistic, self-admittedly)

so how do you tell if an infj likes you or just likes not being lonely? how do i tell if he likes likes me, or likes the attention i give him?

in person he's endearing and warm and gives me these ridiculous googly-eyes like we've been married two months, but he's only initiated hanging out once (at the beginning). i asked him if i scared him, bc of how intense i am, he said no, but he admitted that he's bad at distancing himself from new friends bc he's used to people doing that to him (so it's a defense mechanism, to fight that blinding infatuation).

i could go on and on. i'm smitten. i adore him. he's warm, he's kind, i want to protect him, i want him to get to know me, i want to have his babies. ok but seriously i really like him.

oh i almost forgot - he said he definitely wants to be friends, and he called me very pretty in spanish, and we're pretty sexually flirty

edit 2 - and ive caught him staring at me, checking me out, and darting his gaze to my lips
 

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then what are the chances of him liking me romantically?
Imma jump in here and say that no one here could know for certain. Too little info, and all that jazz. I can tell you for certain how you'll never find out, though, and that's if you don't allow yourself to have the courage to ask him and find out. Now when I say have the courage to do that, I don't mean prep yourself for if he says he doesn't, I mean to prep yourself for if he says he does. We humans get so damned used to the idea of rejection that sometimes the scariest thing we ever have to confront is the idea that something life changing and dramatic might actually work out how we want it to.
 

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INFJs are very unlikely to say "I love you" first. We want to gauge you before we tell you whether we return the feeling or not. And no, unless we're extremely insecure, we're not going to spend time with people just to not be lonely - that doesn't work for us. Maybe some extroverts, but INFJs only cocoon themselves in isolation even more when we feel lonely.

More importantly, please don't over-read INFJ behaviours. None of the things you mentioned indicate he is in love with you. If you really need to know, ask. Don't guess, we're not easily read.
 

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INFJs are very unlikely to say "I love you" first. We want to gauge you before we tell you whether we return the feeling or not. And no, unless we're extremely insecure, we're not going to spend time with people just to not be lonely - that doesn't work for us. Maybe some extroverts, but INFJs only cocoon themselves in isolation even more when we feel lonely.

More importantly, please don't over-read INFJ behaviours. None of the things you mentioned indicate he is in love with you. If you really need to know, ask. Don't guess, we're not easily read.
And what do they truly want?
 

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My response to the title=no. It seems like there is a physical attraction between you but since that's ultimately transient, the signs of something deeper will be both more important and harder to read.
 

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This is true. I never have, even if I felt it first.
The only exception to this for me would be the platonic kind but then we'd be on a different topic.

I get super cautious with my compliments when I see potential in someone, it differs from person to person but I'll purposely avoid their take on language that might be flirty while driving in how they make me feel/think/behave.
I can be slightly flirty for fun if the person I'm engaged in conversation with isn't interested in me but otherwise it's completely avoided, if I slip up accidentally I'd probably run straight for the hills or have a mild panic attack/freak out.

You can be attracted to someone because you're lonely, I think more so than usual. It's like the continuum between wanting to be alone and looking for connection is exaggerated really far on both extremes and the middle ground is missing when I'm feeling lonely and somewhat insecure; I start to think that sex would be a good idea, and I'm pretty sure that's because it's this odd part of my brain that reckons it might be a good reason for someone to stay in a relationship and at the same time I'll spend more time alone and tend to dislike people more. I can't really explain all of it easily but it happens, hasn't for a long time but I still remember it.

Loneliness easily exaggerates feelings for people, a fixation on a lack of connection with people will lead you to putting people on a pedestal and fantasising about them.

I don't tend to look below people's faces unless they have an interesting shirt/skirt/jacket/shoes etc. on and I think people notice that I don't seem attracted to people physically/sexually.
So I think he's at least physically attracted to you but really, you'd be hard pressed to tell if a lot of relationships aren't just built around the physical aspect seeing as a lot of couples can lack the 'awesome best friend' part to them; you can work on both at the same time but it takes conscious effort. If he said "definitely", that seems to imply an "at least".

Edit: I should add I'm quite wary of people who tend to put all their eggs in one basket or have a reason to exemplify their relationship as that's where the disconnect from reality can start(it doesn't always) and when they come down from there that's when relationships tend to go awry or heavily reflective. I require a touch of reality between us even if mine or their feelings would incline otherwise. In other words, personally I like to take it slow, loneliness is just something of a warning for me to take a reality check with the other person or myself.

So feel free to disregard sections of my post that relate to that.
 

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This is true. I never have, even if I felt it first.
Even in friendships I'm never the first to call the other my 'friend'. I want to know where they are in their feelings for me first before I reciprocate them. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who needed to hear it from me first, because it's not going to happen. That's what us cautious people are like :frustrating:
 

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The only exception to this for me would be the platonic kind but then we'd be on a different topic.
Right, even when friends randomly or playfully say "I love you", or when someone I don't know well says it jokingly, it throws me for a loop and disorients me. I'm like, "whoa" and analyzing how they meant it, if they meant it and why they said it. It loses its entire intended purpose (a joke, a stronger way to say "I like this thing you did", or saying it jokingly to conceal that they really do) but it's only because I take it seriously. So, I just stand there expressionless and confused. I never playfully or accidentally say it to anyone. But I get that some people don't think deeply about it, and they're just words.

I get super cautious with my compliments when I see potential in someone, it differs from person to person but I'll purposely avoid their take on language that might be flirty while driving in how they make me feel/think/behave.
I can be slightly flirty for fun if the person I'm engaged in conversation with isn't interested in me but otherwise it's completely avoided, if I slip up accidentally I'd probably run straight for the hills or have a mild panic attack/freak out.
Me too, it's a combination of being self-conscious and reserved in flux with feeling ALL the things (how they feel, how I feel, how they feel about how I feel and how I feel about it, it goes on and on). When I compliment anyone I really mean it, and sincerely complimenting someone I like is going to indirectly turn into a really long and revealing admission of my feelings, so I avoid it altogether. At the same time I don't have the best control, so sometimes I'll blurt out how I really feel before running for the hills (like you said). Sometimes what I avoid saying/doing is so obvious, it's its own admission.
 

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Even in friendships I'm never the first to call the other my 'friend'. I want to know where they are in their feelings for me first before I reciprocate them. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who needed to hear it from me first, because it's not going to happen. That's what us cautious people are like :frustrating:
Same here on calling someone my friend, it's a strong word. I don't want to assume they feel the same way. I think part of why we restrain ourselves from saying the magic words is that we understand expressing it and feeling it have different purposes. To feel it is one thing, to want them to know it is another.
 
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