[Zebedee]

*If you don't like wasting your time reading conceited posts, stop here (i don't blame you)*

I used to think how it might be nice to experience a different personality. Now I just wish I was any other personality but my own. I'm envious of practically anyone who seems content with their life, no matter how menial it might appear to me. In fact I have a mentally challenged cousin with a very low paying job, he barely gets by, and he's always happy, and I often wish I could be him.

So I guess it's my own perspective that holds me down. And I can't change it. I see everything in the broadest perspective and how the end to the means of everything seems meaningless. I can't enjoy the small things anymore, nothing satisfies, I look at my past hobbies as pointless.

Either I have a severe inferiority complex, or I am literally dumb, or both, but of the 30+ jobs I've had, I struggled through most of them. Always being the one who knows least and needs the most help. I can't mentally stick with a job. I get more depressed working than doing nothing at all. My mind is always in the future so everywhere I work seems soul-sucking and permanent. How I graduated college, I have no clue, but I even did that half-assed. I'm completely dependent on the charity of others which drives me nuts, but the thought of trying to live independently on another job I'm going to detest drives me crazy.

I'm more than old enough to have a wife and kids, in fact (for reasons unsure but I'll take it) there's a girl who's waiting for me in another country. She's brillaint, she defines and defies the definition of love. But I can't do it. I love her to much to bring her into my problems...and possibly a lifetime of suffering. Ironically I can provide her with superior loyalty, selflessness, compassion--all the emotional things, but I'm a male, I should be able to provide some kind of physical stability and security, yet I can't even do it for myself. It's a cruel joke to be played on me. I'll be alone. It seems like the universe is against me daily. I only have God and heaven to look forward to , and that should be enough, but I still desire some fulfillment in life.

I feel guilty. I feel sorry for disabled people who could have done more with my body than I have. I'm so sorry. What a waste.

It's my mind! My mind is holding me back! It has been my whole life! Woe is me. I can't even cry anymore. I hate being an INFP.

 

[Redwood]

What makes you happy in your life? What made you happy as a kid? What makes you unhappy in life? Write a list. Share it here if you'd like more input.

 

[unclebigs]

*If you don't like wasting your time reading conceited posts, stop here (i don't blame you)*

I used to think how it might be nice to experience a different personality. Now I just wish I was any other personality but my own. I'm envious of practically anyone who seems content with their life, no matter how menial it might appear to me. In fact I have a mentally challenged cousin with a very low paying job, he barely gets by, and he's always happy, and I often wish I could be him.

So I guess it's my own perspective that holds me down. And I can't change it. I see everything in the broadest perspective and how the end to the means of everything seems meaningless. I can't enjoy the small things anymore, nothing satisfies, I look at my past hobbies as pointless.

Either I have a severe inferiority complex, or I am literally dumb, or both, but of the 30+ jobs I've had, I struggled through most of them. Always being the one who knows least and needs the most help. I can't mentally stick with a job. I get more depressed working than doing nothing at all. My mind is always in the future so everywhere I work seems soul-sucking and permanent. How I graduated college, I have no clue, but I even did that half-assed. I'm completely dependent on the charity of others which drives me nuts, but the thought of trying to live independently on another job I'm going to detest drives me crazy.

I'm more than old enough to have a wife and kids, in fact (for reasons unsure but I'll take it) there's a girl who's waiting for me in another country. She's brillaint, she defines and defies the definition of love. But I can't do it. I love her to much to bring her into my problems...and possibly a lifetime of suffering. Ironically I can provide her with superior loyalty, selflessness, compassion--all the emotional things, but I'm a male, I should be able to provide some kind of physical stability and security, yet I can't even do it for myself. It's a cruel joke to be played on me. I'll be alone. It seems like the universe is against me daily. I only have God and heaven to look forward to , and that should be enough, but I still desire some fulfillment in life.

I feel guilty. I feel sorry for disabled people who could have done more with my body than I have. I'm so sorry. What a waste.

It's my mind! My mind is holding me back! It has been my whole life! Woe is me. I can't even cry anymore. I hate being an INFP.

Bro, the INFP male needs to embrace his weaknesses stop feeling guilty about them. You need to find a woman who can support both of you. You'll never be able to excel at a job. Accept it.

 

[Alyosha]

If you really respect that girl, you won't be silly. You'll go get her! She loves you, not the person you feel that society thinks you should be. Why let your imagination get in between you?

I'm also sure you're not as helpless and miserable as you make yourself out to be. There is this strange thing the mind does to us ... When we're sad, we're only able to retrieve sad memories, and the sad aspects of our other memories. This way it seems like we're sad and that we'll always be sad, but this is not the case. I'm sure if you were in a better mood, you'd be able to think of countless things that are good about you, countless of things you would never want to not have experienced, and countless of things that you want to experience.

If you've really been living the way you say, you've been living in a way not many other people do. This means you have a lot of experience in something other people don't have experience in. If no specific field you can use this in comes to mind, there is always art. If you can show people a way of seeing the world they haven't seen before, you've made good art. So if you write, or play music or something, there's something you can do that you don't need anyone's help to do. Show the world who you are, because you're with your experiences obviously an interesting person to a higher degree than most people are in this regard, and you will have done something important.

Finally I don't think the universe is against you. I think you're unknowingly against yourself. I believe that people act the way they understand themselves. We play out the role we see ourselves in, sort of. That's what it means to live. Become concious of the role you've given yourself, for example "I am hopeless", and you can change it into whatever you like, become whatever you like. And as long as you think you can't, you're obviously not concious of the role you've given yourself ... So if you don't believe yourself, believe me, and believe all the INFPs that have done great things throughout history: Sit down and find out what it is you want to do in the world, that thing that has sort of always been at the tip of your tongue, in the sky on a particularly clear night, in the warm breath of a pretty girl, behind the shivers down your spine in the favorite moment of your favorite song ... Listen to it, then follow it. Wherever it takes you.

I wish you luck.

 

[refugee]

Oh, the humanity!

The question is, do you have the will power to live a life that defies explanation?

Use your imagination and build a life that is suitable for you.

The most important thing is perseverance.

 

[FaveteLinguis]

It's my mind! My mind is holding me back! It has been my whole life! Woe is me. I can't even cry anymore. I hate being an INFP.

You're both right and wrong. Your old noggin is holding back, but it's not about the fact that you are an INFP. Pfft, that's just a convenient adjective for people to fall back on.

Find out what you have to offer the world and then give it. I don't think the pursuit of happiness is quite what you're looking for. No meaning in life? Create one.

Don't want to burden your girl? Hah, you know, if material support is one of the things people look for from me because I'm a man......that's pretty f***ing insulting. You have more to offer her than you think. Obviously she wants to be with you. Go get her.

Life is more than just working nine to five. Even if you just make enough to scape by with an occasional treat.....it's better than being tied down by mountains of debt keeping up with the Jones's.

The universe isn't out to get you. You are though.

 

[imploded hope]

First of all, conceited posts are my specialty. well, more like conceited text messages, but that's a different story. Anyways, I get it. Being a male INFP is like being cursed. but the deal is, that girl whoever she may be, she loves you. and that means loving you with whatever you carry with you, right?
I'm attempting to struggle through school right now. If I ever decide to get a job, I'll suck at it, until I find something I like. so, find something that pays, then find a job you want, and can daydream at. otherwise, INFPkind is royally screwed.
if that post makes any sense...I dunno.

 

[Marimeli]

Yeah, it sounds to me like your job problem is that you keep taking jobs that totally suck. If I were you, I'd really figure out what it is I DO that makes me supremely happy, then try to find a way to get someone to pa me to do it. It may not end up being the most lucrative career but you will achieve fulfillment in the realization of your potential talents, which is WAY more important in a relationship, as far as I'm concerned. I'd rather be broke and have a spouse doing work that he enjoys than be rich and have a spouse who works all the time.

Although I would want a spouse who does SOMETHING. I think everyone is a better person when they're working at something, exercising their faculties etc.

 

[illicit iridescence]

Self fulfilling prophecy.

Smack yourself in the face real hard, so hard that it makes you topple over. Pick yourself up. Shake off your conceitedness. Carry on. :3

Being an INFP male (or whatsoever MBTI type male) only sucks when you let it suck.

 

[Neotriplax]

sounds to me like you are deppresed. if so, you should find a way to get out of that depression first. Not untill you see life in a positive way again, can you start planning what you want to do. You might need help getting out of it. CBT therapy is good, ive done it and it changed my world alot, also take a closer look on what people you have around you, are they taking more energy of you then they give back? You have the same right to live your life as everyone else, even if nature made you into a dreamer that dosent fit in to the 9 to 5 ratrace, you should not let that stop you from beeing happy.

 

[IcarusDreams]

Bro, the INFP male needs to embrace his weaknesses stop feeling guilty about them. You need to find a woman who can support both of you. You'll never be able to excel at a job. Accept it.

Totally the inverse-let him embrace HIS STRENGTHS, and avoid feeling guilty for things that are not necessarily to blame in his personality about his current situation. He can excel at any job he chooses to and has a passion for, and he should accept that as fact. He has no inherent weaknesses-he just needs to love himself much more than he actually does, learning that who he is is a treasure, and not a liability in any shape or form.

 

[IcarusDreams]

Mr. @dog8food,

You are not inherently flawed, especially for being INFP. Where did you learn being yourself was such a malady? Learn to live with yourself, loving what sets you apart and is different from the norm. If being INFP was a "flaw", then EVERY OTHER personality type is flawed, because they ALL have strengths that the others don't have.

I hope you feel better soon-in the while, please realize that who you are is not necessarily to blame. Don't strive to be like others to be happy--just be happy with yourself. And life is beautiful enough to keep following your dreams, whatever those may be, no matter what your current reality is, and how much you wish things were different-you can change what you do, your actions, your perception of self, etc., but never who you really are, so embrace yourself, and keep living and dreaming!

Best Wishes,

IcarusDreams

 

[perfectcircle]

I don't get it. Why should she be forced to take security and stability if that isn't what she wants? Women aren't just there to be provided for; as evidence by the fact there are men out there whos strengths are different than that. You weren't created to be alone.... many of us can provide for ourselves; it's connection we want. Such relationships depend not on sterotypes or binary definitions but individuals. Look at this way, say there's Lovelovelove and trust and committment on one hand and "I have a steady job and pay for everything" on the table, I'd go for the first one. That may be because I am confident that I will be working most of my life because i like it and I want that for myself, so I don't need a man to do it for me. Some women would choose the other end, it depends on the woman, doesn't it? point being, it's not about what women "deserve", it's just that people deserve to be happy, if only they let themselves.

I started watching Mad Men the other night. Have you seen it? The main premise is an ad man in 1960s America where there are very traditional and constricting values. So the main guy gets lots of money, he knows how to handle himself in the "real" world, persuasive, charming when he needs to be. He gives his wife this big house and nice things and babies to occupy her time. He doesn't know how to give her himself. Which is the reason lots of people marry; to have another person to love and to hold, to share a life with, not for good mortgage. Anyways, so his wife, she's desperately lonely and feels unloved to the point she starts experiencing physical symptoms; he is distant to her emotionally. She's so stressed and blocked because she feels she "should" be happy, cause look at all she's given, right? And he thinks he's done all he has to do, hide her out in a fancy house, drop off pretty jewlery and pay for her things, and look, she's a lucky lady??

Do you think that makes anyone happy?

You need to start seeing what you have to offer is more than a lot of people can offer. You have strengths; and just baecuse they aren't steady work doesn't mean they aren't valid or worthwhile to a lot of people.

Physical things are good, they're great, I'm not saying the lady shouldn't have a comfortable life, but why don't you let go of the illusion what you "have" to be as a man to be a man. That's not being a man at all, in my opinion. You don't have to be the one to give her certain things; if the relationship doesn't work out, it doesn't, but it plays by it's own set or rules, brought to the table by the qualities of the persons involved, not women bake bread and make babies men provide a hut and raw meat. If she wants those things over what you vhae to offer, she'll choose that herself.

As for the job-- I feel your problem is you are forcing yourself to do things you don't want to do because you are convinced that is what you SHOULD do, and if you could just do it successfully you'd be a happy person. If whatever it was worth doing, you'd do it and be happy to do it. Accept your interets, personality, and find something in life that works for you. You're trying to fit yourself into suit that doesn't fit you, is why it hurts.

 

[perfectcircle]

. You'll never be able to excel at a job. Accept it.

Not necessarily true.

 

[Zebedee]

Bro, the INFP male needs to embrace his weaknesses stop feeling guilty about them. You need to find a woman who can support both of you. You'll never be able to excel at a job. Accept it.

Whatever the intention, this actually put a smile on my face. I haven't done so in a while. Thanks.

What makes you happy in your life? What made you happy as a kid? What makes you unhappy in life?

Good questions. My childhood was all about escapism. I was ill so mostly indoors, video games, trying to stay away from people. Lots of fear. I definitely wasn't a typical kid. Other kids got on my nerves for some reason. My dog made me happy until he died. But I'll try thinking of the other things. There are a few creative pursuits that make me happy but I just can't stop comparing to those who are much more skilled, plus they'd never bring in income, not to mention I'm always pitting my pursuits up with my idealism--I'm a perfectionist. It always ends with me just lying on the floor, contemplating, wasting away.

Sit down and find out what it is you want to do in the world, that thing that has sort of always been at the tip of your tongue, in the sky on a particularly clear night, in the warm breath of a pretty girl,

You have a nice way with words. With all the time on my hands, all I do is contemplate what I want to do, pros and cons--I actually live scenarios out in my imagination, and they never lead to happiness, and unfortunately I'm usually quite accurate because when I pursue something it goes the way of my prediction - hence the countless jobs.

Obviously she wants to be with you. Go get her.

I would. I have no money. My only possession is this computer and some clothes. I can only leave the house when my brother's not working--and in Florida, nothing is walking-distance. How can I see opportunities when all I get is limitations? My perception of everything is so skewed. I wish I could change it. I'd swim to China to see her but I'd probably drown... hey, not a bad idea, at least I set a goal.

Use your imagination and build a life that is suitable for you.

I've tried so many times and with every failure I get more and more tired of trying. I have no other options though. Just keep swimmin' right?

I think everyone is a better person when they're working at something, exercising their faculties etc.

Agreed, which is why I try working, but when I get more depressed in a job, I have to quit. I'm not even looking for a good job anymore, just a tolerable one.

Smack yourself in the face real hard, so hard that it makes you topple over.

Maybe that's what I need to jumpstart my brain.

sounds to me like you are deppresed. if so, you should find a way to get out of that depression first.

Agreed. I have longer spans of depression than not. The difficulty with my depression is it's usually based on an overwhelming array of reasons. It's the same when I try to choose something, I see too many possibilities and I become frozen trying to choose. Everything is a butterfly effect for me. My choices in the past seem so wrong so now I'm extra cautious--so cautious that I do nothing. See what I'm doing now? I'm justifying my depression, I always do this. Yet my justifications always seem logically-sound to me. I don't want to be depressed, but maybe I just want to remain depressed...?

I hope you feel better soon-in the while, please realize that who you are is not necessarily to blame. Don't strive to be like others to be happy--just be happy with yourself.

Thanks.

Thank you all for your compassion.

 

[LibertyPrime]

*If you don't like wasting your time reading conceited posts, stop here (i don't blame you)*

I used to think how it might be nice to experience a different personality. Now I just wish I was any other personality but my own. I'm envious of practically anyone who seems content with their life, no matter how menial it might appear to me. In fact I have a mentally challenged cousin with a very low paying job, he barely gets by, and he's always happy, and I often wish I could be him.

So I guess it's my own perspective that holds me down. And I can't change it. I see everything in the broadest perspective and how the end to the means of everything seems meaningless. I can't enjoy the small things anymore, nothing satisfies, I look at my past hobbies as pointless.

Either I have a severe inferiority complex, or I am literally dumb, or both, but of the 30+ jobs I've had, I struggled through most of them. Always being the one who knows least and needs the most help. I can't mentally stick with a job. I get more depressed working than doing nothing at all. My mind is always in the future so everywhere I work seems soul-sucking and permanent. How I graduated college, I have no clue, but I even did that half-assed. I'm completely dependent on the charity of others which drives me nuts, but the thought of trying to live independently on another job I'm going to detest drives me crazy.

I'm more than old enough to have a wife and kids, in fact (for reasons unsure but I'll take it) there's a girl who's waiting for me in another country. She's brillaint, she defines and defies the definition of love. But I can't do it. I love her to much to bring her into my problems...and possibly a lifetime of suffering. Ironically I can provide her with superior loyalty, selflessness, compassion--all the emotional things, but I'm a male, I should be able to provide some kind of physical stability and security, yet I can't even do it for myself. It's a cruel joke to be played on me. I'll be alone. It seems like the universe is against me daily. I only have God and heaven to look forward to , and that should be enough, but I still desire some fulfillment in life.

I feel guilty. I feel sorry for disabled people who could have done more with my body than I have. I'm so sorry. What a waste.

It's my mind! My mind is holding me back! It has been my whole life! Woe is me. I can't even cry anymore. I hate being an INFP.

<.< you piss me off >) really you just fucking piss me off soooo baaad. You know I have those very same problems and do you know what I do? I SUCK IT UP and deal with it. Job sux, bleak outlook? NO! Job gets me money, money I can use to educate myself, that education I can use and I move forward one step at a time! Crying and bitching isn't going to help you and don't you dare associate your crap with being INFP. This type is not an excuse for that shit.

Do you even understand how much worse off a LOT of other people are and they don't give up. Face it, it isn't the type, its just you and you CAN change it. You are just too lazy to grow a pair. Prove me wrong, I dare you! You aren't getting a shred of compassion from me >).

It takes real guts to move forward with existential depression, a questioning nature and a need for deeper meaning.

Plus this "whoes me" for getting attention is annoying. Posts like this are what keep me off the INFP forums 80% of the time.

People who use their type to justify their behavior and tendencies piss me off and this is how I react. I don't care if other INFPs see this as "You shouldn't do that...". I stand by my damn feeling regardless.

 

[Sily]

.....You'll never be able to excel at a job. Accept it.

*Never* is a loooooooong time (the rest of his life) & just how do you know what his future holds?

 

[perfectcircle]

<.< you piss me off >) really you just fucking piss me off soooo baaad. You know I have those very same problems and do you know what I do? I SUCK IT UP and deal with it. Job sux, bleak outlook? NO! Job gets me money, money I can use to educate myself, that education I can use and I move forward one step at a time! Crying and bitching isn't going to help you and don't you dare associate your crap with being INFP. This type is not an excuse for that shit.

Do you even understand how much worse off a LOT of other people are and they don't give up. Face it, it isn't the type, its just you and you CAN change it. You are just too lazy to grow a pair. Prove me wrong, I dare you! You aren't getting a shred of compassion from me >).

It takes real guts to move forward with existential depression, a questioning nature and a need for deeper meaning.

Plus this "whoes me" for getting attention is annoying. Posts like this are what keep me off the INFP forums 80% of the time.

People who use their type to justify their behavior and tendencies piss me off and this is how I react. I don't care if other INFPs see this as "You shouldn't do that...". I stand by my damn feeling regardless.

*stands by with towel and lemon-aid, waits till rant ends, hands refreshments and towel (for drying rage sweat)*
here you go. that looked tiring.

 

[perfectcircle]

*Never* is a loooooooong time (the rest of his life) & just how do you know what his future holds?

Yeah agreed and look here, just because you made certain choices that got you certain places doesn't mean you are incapable of doing well. You'd just have to make different choices next time around. The question isn't what you are capable of but what you want. Then you find out what you are capable of.
<3 it'll be ok.

 

[Lady Starbird]

Before you do what you do, you have to know why you do it. Why do you get up in the morning? Why do you continue living? What drives you? Once you know, you can continue on to build your reality based on that. If love is what drives you, build a loving reality. It's up to you to decide what exactly that would look like in tangible terms, but it's the idea behind it that counts. If creating is what makes you feel whole, build a reality based on creation. What you create is up to you. Just...create something, anything, if that's your passion.

Making money is not the reason why you do things; that's a product of your motivation. You ground what you do in why you choose to live, and you just happen to make money along the way. You just happen to use that to support a family. If she wants a more comfortable life, she is perfectly capable of going out there to get one. I know it sounds selfish, to base what you do on yourself and your own soul fire, but this is why you need to look for someone who has the same motivation that you do. The same soul fire. She will love you for why you do things, not what you do or how you do it. It's the same for everyone. They buy why you do, not what you do. I know, I'm totally stealing these words right out of Simon Sinek's mouth. But I've found this idea of "why > how > what" to explain a lot of things in my life.

This video might help to clarify a lot of the principles I've just thrown at you.

He's not talking, necessarily, about selling something. He's using these companies as an example of the universal idea of inspiring others.