Personality Cafe banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 89 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,416 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I was having a discussion earlier with a male friend of mine, who referred to me as a "prude" after the conversation we had. For Halloween, he is dressing up as Santa Clause, and asked me to accompany him, by dressing up as a "slutty" Misses Clause. I was offended by him blatantly asking me to reveal my body, and made me feel as though he doesn't at all value me as a person. And this made me think.

Why do women feel the need to reveal their bodies to the world? And why do the pigs among men pressure women to do so? I think the answer to that question is attention.

There is also the obvious reason, when pertaining to the mass media, that sex sells. But I'm not talking about the mass media in this situation, so leave that out. I'm talking about when you go out to dinner and that woman 4 tables over from you is wearing a hot pink mini skirt, that matches her visible thong, and you can see her black bra showing through her white tank top. And she sits there with the sureness and confidence of a queen. Or these teenage girls I see walking around wearing shorts so short, and skin tight, that I'd call them underwear. I know women dress like this, for attention. It has to be.

But why? If you are one of these types of women, wouldn't you rather be complimented and taken for value and worth by something of meaning? Something that sets you apart from other women? All women have tits, and ass, and a vag, which isn't very unique if you ask me. So instead of jumping on the band wagon of publicly revealing your body, why not set yourself apart from that, and showcase something about yourself that other women don't have?

I can't help but view it as an insecurity. It's as though they are lacking something in their lives. Like they are not getting proper attention for something else, like who they are as a whole, so they revert to what they know will reap a high reward of attention, or approval, from the opposite sex. It's such a disgusting practice from my point of view.

Do women not realize how this makes them look? It makes them look like a shallow whore, at least to me. I don't understand their obsession to reveal their bodies, especially young teenage girls. My body is something that I treasure, because I know my own value and worth. I respect myself. And if a man was ever more interested in my body, than he was my mind, he would not be a man of mine.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26,829 Posts
I was having a discussion earlier with a male friend of mine, who referred to me as a "prude" after the conversation we had. For Halloween, he is dressing up as Santa Clause, and asked me to accompany him, by dressing up as a "slutty" Misses Clause. I was offended by him blatantly asking me to reveal my body, and made me feel as though he doesn't at all value me as a person. And this made me think.
Not much of a friend, is he? He sounds like a typical misogynist, and sounds like someone who considers women to be objects for his pleasure. The fact that he called you a prude simply because you didn't want to be half-naked in public shows it.

Why do women feel the need to reveal their bodies to the world?
The West is mostly patriarchal, as it has been for many millenia. This means that for women, they will unfortunately be bombarded with media and experiences that try to drill into their heads the idea that they are sex objects, that their looks are far greater than their intelligence, that it doesn't matter how stupid they are so long as they have big breasts and show them often.

And why do the pigs among men pressure women to do so? I think the answer to that question is attention.
The pigs generally do not respect women because they have been brought up that way. Many men still think that cooking and cleaning is women's work, that they have to act a certain way or be a certain way. Men are socially conditioned as much as women are, although men get far more social freedom than women.

There is also the obvious reason, when pertaining to the mass media, that sex sells. But I'm not talking about the mass media in this situation, so leave that out. I'm talking about when you go out to dinner and that woman 4 tables over from you is wearing a hot pink mini skirt, that matches her visible thong, and you can see her black bra showing through her white tank top. And she sits there with the sureness and confidence of a queen. Or these teenage girls I see walking around wearing shorts so short, and skin tight, that I'd call them underwear. I know women dress like this, for*attention.*It has to be.
That's the way society has made many women – society has told them that looks and walking around half-naked are positive things that they can use to their advantage, rather than their far more valuable intelligence or personality.

But why? If you are one of these types of women, wouldn't you rather be complimented and taken for value and worth by something of meaning? Something that sets you apart from other women? All women have tits, and ass, and a vag, which isn't very unique if you ask me. So instead of jumping on the band wagon of publicly revealing your body, why not set yourself apart from that, and showcase something about yourself that other women*don't*have?
Social conditioning. I think you should do what you can to help change society, to help women in this crazy world where they are seen as little more than sex objects.

I can't help but view it as an insecurity. It's as though they are lacking something in their lives. Like they are not getting proper attention for something else, like who they are as a whole, so they revert to what they*know*will reap a high reward of attention, or*approval, from the opposite sex. It's such a disgusting practice from my point of view.
It is an insecurity, just like the insecurity of some men who need to be 100% masculine 100% of the time because they can't possibly ever show any sign of being anything other than 100% masculine. This is the way Western society is, unfortunately, but I think things are changing for the better.

Do women not realize how this makes them look? It makes them look like a shallow whore, at least to me. I don't understand their obsession to reveal their bodies. My body is something that I treasure, because I know my own value and worth. I respect myself. And if a man was ever more interested in my body, than he was my mind, he would*not*be a man of mine.
Good for you and personally, any man like that does not deserve a relationship with a female INTJ – what a waste of intelligence that would be, plus it would probably make you feel like he was your pet dog or something rather than your partner.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,416 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Good for you and personally, any man like that does not deserve a relationship with a female INTJ – what a waste of intelligence that would be, plus it would probably make you feel like he was your pet dog or something rather than your partner.
Lol, you nailed it. There would be no way that I could take him seriously. I'd laugh at him, and end up walking all over him because of my lack of respect, and laugh some more as I kicked him out the door for wasting my time. And laugh yet again at his dumbfounded expression of what I just did, right before I shut the door in his face. (I'd probably be a smartass and blow him a kiss right before I shut the door.) And laugh again for being such a smartass. :laughing::laughing::laughing:
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
14,865 Posts
I think that a lot of females worry about being sort of 'invisible' if they don't dress somewhat provocatively, because there are plenty of others who do dress that way, and will get the attention instead. Maybe it isn't insecurity in each of these individuals so much as desire to attract a mate - and a belief that the way to attract one is through an obvious display of sexuality. I have known guys who dislike when a woman puts it all out there that way, however. I think that most people believe nearly everyone operates in the more shallow, and obvious way though - going on cheap visual thrills. Maybe there are few exceptions. Its really a question of what type of person you want attention from, what type of attention, and whether or not you realize that not every man looking at you is thinking the same thing.. and how long you are willing to wait for the attention. Then there are other reasons for dressing that way that do have their roots in insecurity - fitting in, or even trying to look 'better' than the next girl just to boost a fragile sense of self-confidence. If people weren't dressing to get some kind of attention, then they would dress more plainly and cover it up.
 
  • Like
Reactions: The Unseen

·
Registered
Joined
·
752 Posts
When it comes to females and dressing like that, the first word that pops into my head is confusion. A lot of the times younger females don't know what they want, but they do know how they want to feel-- so as as a result, they dress like that.

It's almost like a cycle--Female wants a guy to fit in but doesn't know what kind of guy she wants--she looks around and see's that guys like slutty looking women, so she follows the trend. Then, she gets with some random guy who obviously says some crap like she looks hot and stuff, and all of a sudden she feels like she's on top of the world. She looks good to guys and she has a boyfriend. Ego boost +1000. Then all of it comes crashing down when the guy ditches her to go with some other hot looking girl or violates the girl in ways that I'd rather not mention.

The moral of the story is, girls tend to long for fulfillment but look/follow the wrong directions when doing so--I can't completely blame them...part of it is also us guys fault. We don't know better either, but I'll save that for a different topic.

I really wish there were more people like you D: Girls in this neighborhood of mine have no attractive personality whatsoever--I will say that they're hot, but in reality, they're all the same.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
279 Posts
I think it's as simple as being proud of your physical assets and showing them off in public. There's nothing wrong with that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,416 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I really wish there were more people like you D: Girls in this neighborhood of mine have no attractive personality whatsoever--I will say that they're hot, but in reality, they're all the same.
That's my point. Females bodies are all the same, except with slight visual differences in skin tone, shape, and size. Generally though, they are all the same. So I'm trying to figure out why certain females would want to appeal to a mans sex drive, when that's all the man is looking for. The female want's to be accepted, and noticed, and get that ego boost, but they don't realize how unstable the platform is that they are using to attain said acceptance, attention, and boost in ego. When their shower of compliments moves on to the next "hot chick", she is genuinely distraught, when I feel she should have known all along.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,416 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I think it's as simple as being proud of your physical assets and showing them off in public. There's nothing wrong with that.
No there isn't. Being proud of your body, and choosing to display them for personal reasons, is a different story. Using those assets to get attention from men, is what I view as degrading to oneself.

A hundred years ago, if a woman showed herself in public the way they do now, she would be viewed as a disgusting whore, with zero class, and shunned from society. I guess I just don't understand when dressing the way women do now, became accepted. When did it become a thrill?

There are men who can look at a naked woman and not even get a hard-on, because they are so over-stimulated by sex appeal, they aren't even aroused by it anymore. It's sadly become the norm, and young women who don't know who they are, tend to follow that norm in order to find acceptance, and fit in. It saddens, and disgusts me. :frustrating:
 
  • Like
Reactions: mrscientist

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,001 Posts
Well sadly, i am indeed more interested in the mind, the body is quite debatable. Thats why break ups are so hard for me, missing the mind, not body.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,416 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Well sadly, i am indeed more interested in the mind, the body is quite debatable. Thats why break ups are so hard for me, missing the mind, not body.
I think I love you....
 
  • Like
Reactions: mrscientist

·
Registered
Joined
·
279 Posts
No there isn't. Being proud of your body, and choosing to display them for personal reasons, is a different story. Using those assets to get attention from men, is what I view as degrading to oneself.

A hundred years ago, if a woman showed herself in public the way they do now, she would be viewed as a disgusting whore, with zero class, and shunned from society. I guess I just don't understand when dressing the way women do now, became accepted. When did it become a thrill?

There are men who can look at a naked woman and not even get a hard-on, because they are so over-stimulated by sex appeal, they aren't even aroused by it anymore. It's sadly become the norm, and young women who don't know who they are, tend to follow that norm in order to find acceptance, and fit in. It saddens, and disgusts me. :frustrating:
How do you tell the difference between someone who is dressing for attention and someone who is dressing for themselves? We are all people of differing opinions and taste, did you consider that what one woman may consider "slightly revealing," you may consider "slutty whore attire"? What if someone you deem is dressing for attention has intellect rivaling that of your own? How do you know you're not just being catty?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,416 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
How do you tell the difference between someone who is dressing for attention and someone who is dressing for themselves? We are all people of differing opinions and taste, did you consider that what one woman may consider "slightly revealing," you may consider "slutty whore attire"? What if someone you deem is dressing for attention has intellect rivaling that of your own? How do you know you're not just being catty?
I was trying to be nice by seeing your point of view of how some can and do display their bodies out of pride, or ego. This thread was not targeted at you, so I'm not sure why you are becoming so defensive about it?

And I tell the difference between someone who is dressing for attention, and someone who is dressing for their ego, based on how they act when in said clothing, or the lack thereof. It's quite obvious when you observe the difference, however subjective it may be.

And intellect vs. dress was not the topic of the thread. Nor was how the intellect of someone who dresses "slutty" may or may not rival my own. It's why some women use their bodies to receive attention. I was wondering if there was a correlation to dressing in a revealing manner, and insecurity. Perhaps your particular argument(s) of attire vs. intellect, is best suited for a new thread.

However I have never seen a woman in congress dress in a mini-skirt with her thong visible, and her bra showing through her blouse, have you? Perhaps it's because she want's to be taken seriously for what lies within their brain, and what comes out of her mouth, not her cup size, and how she can sexually appeal to men. Just a thought I bet you did not consider, that where there tends to be female intellect in the world, there also tends to be a lack of sexually appealing skin.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
279 Posts
I'm not being defensive, I'm offering a different point of view and challenging you to defend your own. What would this thread be if it was nothing more than people agreeing with you and reinforcing your own opinion?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,544 Posts
What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Some women are insecure, someone just love their bodies and want to show it off, some women just like the way the clothes look, and so on.

If they're sluts then you are a prude, it's a personal thing I don't really see why these women have to have something wrong with them in order to dress that way. :/
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,416 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I'm not saying there is anything wrong with them. How could I blame them it's been ingrained into their heads by mass media since their birth that showing skin is the right thing to do. It's my opinion that it's slutty, and trashy. I think it's a weakness of character, and is degrading to the female species because it only further enforces the view that women aren't accepted unless they look a certain way, dress a certain way, show a piece of skin a certain way, etc etc. And once again, if they are doing it for their own reason, out of ego or whatever, then I don't care. My best friend weighs about 200lbs, has been repetitively told her entire life that she is fat, and has been made fun of for it, and she dresses in little skimpy shorts, and tanks tops all the time, and I love her for it because she is going against societies hang up on appearances. I pat her on the back and say, "you go girl". She doesn't do it for attention, and she doesn't do it to fit in with "style" either. She does it because she doesn't give a flying what anyone says or thinks about her appearance. If anyone does it for those reasons also, then more power to them too, and I'd tell them same thing.

It's those that deliberately flaunt their bodies to gain male attention, that I think are sick, and have their priorities a little backwards. I cannot, and will not, view it any other way. It's like porn, except you don't get to see the finale.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,917 Posts
I'm not saying there is anything wrong with them. How could I blame them it's been ingrained into their heads by mass media since their birth that showing skin is the right thing to do. It's my opinion that it's slutty, and trashy. I think it's a weakness of character, and is degrading to the female species because it only further enforces the view that women aren't accepted unless they look a certain way, dress a certain way, show a piece of skin a certain way, etc etc. And once again, if they are doing it for their own reason, out of ego or whatever, then I don't care. My best friend weighs about 200lbs, has been repetitively told her entire life that she is fat, and has been made fun of for it, and she dresses in little skimpy shorts, and tanks tops all the time, and I love her for it because she is going against societies hang up on appearances. I pat her on the back and say, "you go girl". She doesn't do it for attention, and she doesn't do it to fit in with "style" either. She does it because she doesn't give a flying what anyone says or thinks about her appearance. If anyone does it for those reasons also, then more power to them too, and I'd tell them same thing.

It's those that deliberately flaunt their bodies to gain male attention, that I think are sick, and have their priorities a little backwards. I cannot, and will not, view it any other way. It's like porn, except you don't get to see the finale.
I'm sorry, but I can't help but feel that you're being just a little judgemental. You victimize these girls by saying that they show themselves off because society has brainwashed them to do so, yet at the same time you reinforce the idea that not showing yourself off is somehow more respectable. You do this not with logical proofs but rather repetitious statements. This is the definition of brainwashing.
You claim (without reason) that it is unnatural for women to behave this way. You even used the word "species". I find it interesting that many other species of organisms do precisely the same things that you are condemning. Standards of dress simply are not natural. If they were then we would come out of the womb wearing something, but we simply do not.
Who are you and who are any of us to decide what is right or wrong when it comes to what a person decides to wear, much less what is the right or wrong motivation for doing so (which, by the way, is almost impossible to accurately do)?
You cited what would have happened if women dressed a certain way in the past, yet you fail to mention the conditins women endured during such times. They were treated as second class citizens at best and as property at worst. It wasn't their dress code that got them the right to vote. It was when they stood up for what they felt they were entitled to in the face of judgemental opposition.
Your friend has every right to suggest that you don a suggestive outfit, and he is not a pig for making such a suggestion. However, you are entitled to reject such a suggestion, and are not a prude for doing so.
 

·
Cafe Legend and MOTM Jan 2011
Joined
·
15,420 Posts
I'd go nude if it the exposed body weren't treated as something inherently sexual, and if we weren't subject to having our worth judged according to aesthetics. I know a lot of people would feel offended either in one direction or the other. Some would think I was advertising for sex, and the rest would say, "Put it back on, fat girl. We don't want to see your flab."
Since everything is all wrong, and it is illegal to live naturally in most places, I wear long dresses.

:dry:
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,760 Posts
There's several perspectives to be taken into account here. They can be roughly broken down into 4 categories:

1 - Women who dress to get attention: you spot them by the way they rub all over you, give you sexual signs and act like the street whore. They usually lack a brain under the platinum blond dyed hair.

2 - Women who feel good about their body and show it: yes, they show their assets but they're respectable women who don't go around rubbing all over you and spreading their legs. Usually, there's a brain under their hair, no matter which color it is.

3 - Women who "show a little cleavage": usually women who have limits on what they are willing to expose "to the world", usually modest people with great personalities.

4 - The "Prudes": women who got stuck in the 15th century and think that just showing the collar bones is being "nude"... :confused:

Now, please remember there's a lot of gray areas in-between these 4 "categories".

I believe what Infrared is talking about is the first type that I mentioned. I'm by no means a prude or anything but the type of woman that goes around half naked and spreading her legs simply disgusts me. I look at them and I feel like hitting them with the first thing that I can grab.
I'm a lesbian, I like women with a brain in their heads and that dress with taste and garb, that know how to use their clothes to enhance themselves. However, I hate sluts.

Personally, I don't go about showing off my body by shedding clothes. But then again, I'm a goth (no, not a "hot topic" goth wannabe shitter) and I prefer clothes that enhance my body without showing it. The right clothes can do wonders to a body and I think that what's not seen spices up the mind more than having everything bare.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,917 Posts
There's several perspectives to be taken into account here. They can be roughly broken down into 4 categories:

1 - Women who dress to get attention: you spot them by the way they rub all over you, give you sexual signs and act like the street whore. They usually lack a brain under the platinum blond dyed hair.

2 - Women who feel good about their body and show it: yes, they show their assets but they're respectable women who don't go around rubbing all over you and spreading their legs. Usually, there's a brain under their hair, no matter which color it is.

3 - Women who "show a little cleavage": usually women who have limits on what they are willing to expose "to the world", usually modest people with great personalities.

4 - The "Prudes": women who got stuck in the 15th century and think that just showing the collar bones is being "nude"... :confused:

I believe what Infrared is talking about is the first type that I mentioned. I'm by no means a prude or anything but the type of woman that goes around half naked and spreading her legs simply disgusts me. I look at them and I feel like hitting them with the first thing that I can grab.
I'm a lesbian, I like women with a brain in their heads and that dress with taste and garb, that know how to use their clothes to enhance themselves. However, I hate sluts.

Personally, I don't go about showing off my body by shedding clothes. But then again, I'm a goth (no, not a "hot topic" goth wannabe shitter) and I prefer clothes that enhance my body without showing it. The right clothes can do wonders to a body and I think that what's not seen spices up the mind more than having everything bare.
I don't understand why women hate sluts so much. They are not nearly as disrespectful as women that are hateful, cold, ignorant, judgemental, bigotted, rude, or self centered. Seriously, if women looked down on bitches even half as much as they do hoes then the world would be a much, much better place.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,760 Posts
I don't understand why women hate sluts so much. They are not nearly as disrespectful as women that are hateful, cold, ignorant, judgemental, bigotted, rude, or self centered. Seriously, if women looked down on bitches even half as much as they do hoes then the world would be a much, much better place.
Why do we hate sluts?

Because not all of us are sluts and those women give men/women the impression that every woman is ready to spread their legs at the drop of a hat, which isn't true.
To put it simple: they make us look bad. That's why.

Oh, and prostitutes? They do what they do... some because they like that job, some because they need to do it to make ends meet, some because they were forced into it. Truth is, those women are risking their lives all the time because the next client may be some kind of lunatic or psychotic idiot.

Sluts? Sluts just go around trying to get laid with the first specimen they find.
 
1 - 20 of 89 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top