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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Why do women date douchebags ? It's not because they like bad people that disrespect them , it's because they usually have masculine qualities . They're assertive , confident and dominant.

Why do women reject the "nice guys" ? It's not because they hate goodness. It's because a lot of those nice guys appear to be overly sensitive , overly caring or even "submissive". Those qualities are generally feminine and most women do not find them sexually attractive.

Unfortunately , feminism is trying to kill masculinity and femininity so a lot of people are confused and don't know how what attracts the opposite gender. Women should admit they appreciate masculinity so that men will know what they're supposed to do.

*Edit : I know this is a generalization , but for the majority of women it is true.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Over generalized and untrue, I don't want a man that yells at me, pushes me around, thinks he can use me, that I'm his property, who wants me to stay in the kitchen, who sees me as his play thing, etc etc
That's not necessarily what masculinity is about . Being assertive and dominant doesn't mean you're a domineering tyrant or abusive.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
You are generalizing very much. Some women like one type, others the other. It's not about feminism, it's just preferences.
If anything, they are at least more accepted, which is perfectly fine and should happen.
I am generalizing but for about 80% of women out there that generalization is true.
 

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That's not necessarily what masculinity is about . Being assertive and dominant doesn't mean you're a domineering tyrant or abusive.
See what I did there, that was just as generalizing as your post, which shows that there are many forms of 'masculinity', and that you can't pin it down as easily as you did, which shows that 'masculinity' isn't what attracts us, but certain personality types that are separate from the word 'masculinity' ;)

Example: Some/most people might say that having long hair isn't masculine at all, yet men with long hair are seen as more and more attractive these days.

Taste, desire and fashion changes over time, hell back in the 17th-18th century men used to wear wigs and heels and that was very masculine, but make a guy do it now, and they'll kill them in the streets (or at the very minimum give them a stare of death xDDD)
 

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I think people should focus less on how to "attract the opposite gender" and focus more on attracting the individual they view attractive :kitteh:

Whatever floats your boats people, and there are a lot of boats, cruise lines, sailboats, canoes, boathouses, etc!
 

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I agree to a certain extent.

While your statement is 'generally true' from one perspective, it is also 'generally false' from another.

Masculinity poses a threat* when a female is looking for a long-term provider.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...o-women-prefer-men-masculine-faces-not-always

In other words, women may prefer masculine men generally, but in the long-term men’s extreme masculinity poses problems for women (e.g., a highly masculine man might be more aggressive and more likely to cheat as he is highly desirable to women). When evaluating short-term mates, women care less if he cheats, and so a key prediction is: Women should prefer masculinity in men more in short-term mates than in long-term mates.
It should be noted that sometimes women do express preferences for masculine men as long-term mates, particularly when women are shown images of men engaged in direct physical competition, images of weapons, or images depicting items of high monetary value (Little et al., 2013), when women are already mated (Little et al., 2002), when women have reason to believe a highly masculine man will be sexually faithful (Quist et al., 2012), and when women are of high mate value, themselves (perhaps because they can “afford” a highly masculine man as a long-term mate, as they consider themselves valuable enough for him not to consider cheating; see Little et al., 2001; Penton-Voak et al., 2003).
Extremely small sample sizes and the inclusion of a neutral face condition render many of these findings as rather limited in scope and consequence. Even so, among several nations (including the foraging Aka) women preferred more masculine men for short-term mates and less masculine men for long-term mates, whereas men tended to prefer more feminine faces across most samples.
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Essentially, I think that feminine males are preferred for long-term relationships because they're easier to "tame" than masculine males. They're a "safer bet" in that case.
 

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There's feminine douchebags and masculine (genuinely) nice guys.

Generalizations lead to nowhere as attraction is unpredictable and most people don't come in extremes.
There might be some recognizable patterns but taste is subjective and there isn't a 'right' way to be masculine. Or a man. Being genuine, honest, principled and intelligent is usually enough.

Not to mention that some women don't give a crap about how manly a guy actually is.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
There's feminine douchebags and masculine (genuinely) nice guys.
I agree , but I don't see "feminine douchebags" being successful with women.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I do. There's a whole 'dating market' for tortured artists and sensitive, androgynous guys.
It might not be mainstream but it's quite prominent among certain subcultures.
So what does it mean ? Why are women attracted to "douchebags" and not nice guys ? Are women masochists ?
 

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Over generalized and untrue, I don't want a man that yells at me, pushes me around, thinks he can use me, that I'm his property, who wants me to stay in the kitchen, who sees me as his play thing, etc etc
You seem to be equating masculinity with 'mistreatment'.

You seem to be implying that a male cannot be "masculine" unless he "yells at you, pushes you around, thinks he can use you, that you're his property, who wants you to stay in the kitchen, who sees you as his play thing, etc etc.".

Perhaps masculinity is associated with these traits within the society you live in.

Usually, from what I've noticed, masculinity is associated with confidence and protectiveness of one's 'family', as opposed to what you're describing.
 

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Feminism is indeed a wrench in the pairing system, and one of the main things it does is destroy the traditional male, yet will leaves the women somewhat intact in situations where it is most convenient for them to remain so, like paying for dates for example and being treated like a fragile "lady", all the while forgetting to treat their counterparts like men. It's a double standard that they fail to see. Make up your minds. Women don't play out the entire role of being "empowered" either, just those bits which.make their lives easier. It's an arbitrary system of privileges they utilize, which they will turn on and off at will, as an excuse to pull out of uncomfortable situations. Then they will blame guys for "not understanding women."
 

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So what does it mean ? Why are women attracted to "douchebags" and not nice guys ? Are women masochists ?
No, it means that someone's level of masculinity has nothing to do with their morals.

Women are not infallible nor a hivemind, sometimes you can make an error in judgment or fall for the wrong person. Some men hide it particularly well, others prey on the weak and some women are just as bitchy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Feminism is indeed a wrench in the pairing system, and one of the main things it does is destroy the traditional male, yet will keave the women somewhat intact in situations where it is most convenient for them to remain so, like paying for dates for example and being treated like a fragile "lady", all the while forgetting to treat their counterparts like men. It's a double standard that they fail to see. Make up your minds. Women don't play out the entire role of being "empowered" either, just those bits which.make their lives easier. It's an arbitrary system of privileges they utilize, which they will turn on and off at will, as an excuse to pull out of though situations. Then they will blame guys for "not understanding women."
I think humans should be free to make their own decisions in life. I believe in equal rights. However, I agree there is a double standard , women who want to be treated like ladies , should actually act like ladies.
 
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