[GreenCoyote]

anyone working in any particularly stressful environments?

I am currently working in retail, with many superficial people... I find myself drained for an entire week just from a four hour shift...

one day when I had to explain sleeping through some shifts....

my manager asked me if I wanted to work there...

and I started to cry. I had to get away and leave so she couldn't see me.

I missed another night at work and I don't call in... I just don't want to go.
I didn't realize it was work but they have been cutting my hours and my life has been happier...

now I just want to quit altogether...

but my parents will see this as back-tracking in progress.

and I already have to many INFJ gives with them that they let me do or be...

my dad believes in this "way" for people... like he is some altruistic god of some sort working here on earth.
sometimes with him...

he figured out I didn't go cause I got slippery and couldn't hide that I didn't go...

I wanted to hide it because guess what happens... he gets uber pissed that I am not following the responsibility contengency plan that he basically REQUIRES!

my mom is more lenient to my feelings but I think she idealises my dad as really smart and intelligent...
which he is... INTP who can plan and analyze anything... but I just don't fit into his plan and am trying really hard to do so, so everyone will get along... but we are all just suffering now... it is so interrelated...
and my family is basically slowly dying...:sad:
I am worried for my mothers health as she tends to absorb my dads stress and I have been projecting my feelings instead of reclusing... which makes me a murderer...thats a bit drastic but I am tired of either having to cause my dad pain or myself pain... I am breaking and all the pain is spilling out into everyone around me...
I can't really recluse either...
I don't get to have a car anymore so I don't leave the house...

I have school with my ESTP friend and that is the only thing I can cling on too for comfort and absorption of happiness...

I don't want to be associated with the world of retail or have to do any job that hurts me...

we are meant to do something that brings us joy correct?
not pain...

I am tired of superficial relationships.:frustrating:
I don't understand them.
and it is so painful to be something you are not...

 

[zwanglos]

Try telling him that you're a human being and not a data spreadsheet.

Anyway, I worked in Wal-mart for a bit, so I can sympathize with how much that really, really sucks. Lowest of the low moments was when I politely asked someone if I could help them, and they told me to go fuck myself. Ever wonder why none of the workers in a Wal-mart look happy? There's a reason...

 

[screamofconscious]

I don't think that it's unreasonable that your father requires that you maintain gainful employment. There are a lot of very good reasons to do so and only a few mitigating circumstances where it may not be such a good idea. From what you've said, however, it seems like the kind of work you're involved in is a very poor match for you. It seems to me that at this point you'd be best off looking for employment better suited to you...or at least an industry that you can gain entry level employment with room to move up to a position that you would be happier working. Once you've secured a new job, I don't see any reason that your father not support your choice. Of course that doesn't mean he will but I couldn't possibly know what it is that he wants for you other than success.

 

[gettingwiser]

Omigod, retail was so hard on this INFJ. Get out as soon as you can find a back-up situation. Retail is unhealthy for us--being bombarded from every side and pulled in several directions under bright lights. Not good.

The below jobs worked have worked well for me. Unfortunately, only the first pays okay if you build up a client base, and you will over time with your charm and dedication:

One-on-one tutoring of high schoolers and business people in English and essay writing (or any other subject you know well).

Receiving catalogue orders for a catalogue company. Relaxing. Only one call at a time, and they WANT to call and interact with you (telemarketing was hell for this INFJ). I think we need jobs that are like a train ride--let the world come to you, let if flow past, let it eddy with you then flowi on to wherever it's going of its own accord).

Hotel phone operator behind the scenes (avoid any chaotic front desk or cachier situation). Again, this job entails only one call at a time and it's quickly dispensed with. It's like checking items off a list. Very satisfying for the J component. Same with finishing a catalogue orders.

I'd love to hear of other INFJs experiences with jobs. Have you happened across paid situations that don't ruin your physical and mental health?

 

[GreenCoyote]

Try telling him that you're a human being and not a data spreadsheet.

Anyway, I worked in Wal-mart for a bit, so I can sympathize with how much that really, really sucks. Lowest of the low moments was when I politely asked someone if I could help them, and they told me to go fuck myself. Ever wonder why none of the workers in a Wal-mart look happy? There's a reason...

that sucks... I hate malls and places of that sort... before I transfered to the nazi store I am at now, I worked at a smaller one, and it was less hectic and I got to know all of the employees personally... so that was somewhat better suited for me.

I don't think that it's unreasonable that your father requires that you maintain gainful employment. There are a lot of very good reasons to do so and only a few mitigating circumstances where it may not be such a good idea. From what you've said, however, it seems like the kind of work you're involved in is a very poor match for you. It seems to me that at this point you'd be best off looking for employment better suited to you...or at least an industry that you can gain entry level employment with room to move up to a position that you would be happier working. Once you've secured a new job, I don't see any reason that your father not support your choice. Of course that doesn't mean he will but I couldn't possibly know what it is that he wants for you other than success.

responsibility contengency plan that he basically REQUIRES!

he wants to see me develop into a healthy individual that is responsible and dedicated in his life.
so yes... i actually agree with him too... it just really sucks sometimes because I could be working toward something different...

Omigod, retail was so hard on this INFJ. Get out as soon as you can find a back-up situation. Retail is unhealthy for us--being bombarded from every side and pulled in several directions under bright lights. Not good.

The below jobs worked have worked well for me. Unfortunately, only the first pays okay if you build up a client base, and you will over time with your charm and dedication:

One-on-one tutoring of high schoolers and business people in English and essay writing (or any other subject you know well).

Receiving catalogue orders for a catalogue company. Relaxing. Only one call at a time, and they WANT to call and interact with you (telemarketing was hell for this INFJ). I think we need jobs that are like a train ride--let the world come to you, let if flow past, let it eddy with you then flowi on to wherever it's going of its own accord).

Hotel phone operator behind the scenes (avoid any chaotic front desk or cachier situation). Again, this job entails only one call at a time and it's quickly dispensed with. It's like checking items off a list. Very satisfying for the J component. Same with finishing a catalogue orders.

I'd love to hear of other INFJs experiences with jobs. Have you happened across paid situations that don't ruin your physical and mental health?

smaller retail stores were fine.
people fly in and out of that store so fast and no one gets to just talk to each other and relax ever...
I have to take massive amounts of caffiene to just cope some days...
also the whole being forced to talk to costumers...

I personally just know when a customer doesn't want to talk to me so I feel akward trying to seel them some clothes...

I worked at abercrombie at one point... better for me because I somewhat liked the music and not a lot of people came into the store... and the employees basically could talk whenever.
also I could just zone out and ponder sometimes which was nice...

I could make and sell art at swap meets... I think I could and would be better suited for something like that...

I think also I am going to look for other ways to develop my responsibilty besides maintaining a job.
he doesn't care so much what I do but that I do it...
plus he is really happy about the healthcare bill that just ppassed. it is going to save my family when it comes to many things we are all stressed out about...

I am not the best writer.
I am semi okay at art...
good sculptor.

I dunno. if I quit, I can work on some art maybe... that would keep me happy.
I can't wait till I am out of school so I can get a job in a position where I can work creativly.

 

[gettingwiser]

I am semi okay at art...
good sculptor.

I dunno. if I quit, I can work on some art maybe... that would keep me happy.
I can't wait till I am out of school so I can get a job in a position where I can work creativly.

I hear you, greencoyote. I was the same way before graduation. It's a real odyssey after that, trying to find a balance between creativity and paying the rent and bills.

Have you ever considered doing art that's computer based for companies? I know a highly introverted INFP with no formal graphic design training who does graphic arts for movies to pay his rent. He designs fak background sign logos that appear in movies. Somehow he keeps finding work, and he's even quieter in person than I am.

 

[Mr Reality]

I worked as a temp for an online clothes company (very, very large one) everything they do has to do with meeting your targets. I found it extremely stressful but stuck it out because I needed the money. I always thought I could adapt to any environment and do any job and I guess I can but I realized that it was not what I am suited to. Though the job was temporary there was a constant deep unsettling feeling that I was wasting my life away in that place. The pressure to achieve targets was also distressing as I am not a busy rushing type, people got real upset in that place many quit but I soon learnt how to cope by trying to ignore the roughness of the management. One thing I now know as an INFJ is that I need to work and give myself to a cause that benefits people. Fashion industry and retail in my mind does not fit that category this was the root of my problem I was not driven by a larger beneficiary goal other than to serve peoples fashion vanity I want to be in something that changes the world for the better or for the good. Maybe you need to look into something along a career path that brings out your true qualities fashion and retail may not be for you.