Personality Cafe banner
1 - 19 of 19 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
75 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Bit of a depressing thread but does anyone else not know what they want out of life? Like it's a game that can't really be won. I usually fixate on a particular problem and work at solving it while indulging in sensual activities in my leisure time but ultimately I feel like I'm manoeuvring my way to death.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
42 Posts
You are going to die someday. We all are. You need to come to terms with that.

You can't win life, but you can work on developing skills and emotional connections.

Life is a beautiful thing.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,312 Posts
I don't analyze life anymore. I don't plan ahead either, aside from a couple very loose goals. I enjoy every day as it comes: wake, work, play, and relax--almost entirely with a smile. I feel glued to the moment most of the time. I have few worries or cares, and when things get stressful, I find myself laughing. I suppose I eventually snapped from all that dissecting, and planning out my life 10 years in advance, sort of rubbish I used to do as a child and in university. So many definitions, I destroyed the meaning of the term.

Chess? Boring ass game. Now Crazyhouse (wild variant) at 1 0 or 0 1 . . . Yesss. It's chaos.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
315 Posts
Yes, I know exactly what I want out of life and when I hit an unforeseen obstacle, I recklessly drink myself out of my depression. I plan so far ahead, that it does sometimes extend to that realization that I lived potentially more than 1/4 of my life which already flew by so quickly due to my extensive planning. It is an unfortunate cycle.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
31 Posts
It's really difficult when one understands that the aspirations, ambitions, dreams and ideologies of an individual are all quintessentially delusions; constructs of the mind. All concepts tangible and intangible in the world, too, are delusions, but delusions that are shared across the majority of perceptions and hence regarded as observable "truth" in "existence."

In absence of any actual knowable universal truth, the best we can do is co-operate and help each other as fellow wandering souls to experience the fond sensations of happiness and contentment as long as we can experience them.

From the chessboard perspective, who's the real enemy? Why not test the parameters of reality and break the game by having the pieces question why they're killing each other in the first place?

And in terms of winning the game; it's worth considering that the traditional notion of victory is drawn from conflict, and is but a means for resolution of that conflict and bringing forth harmony and peace.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13 Posts
I'm going to guess you are still fairly young(mid twenties maybe?) and you have yet to really find a goal or position of power to really flex your mind on. Now ,more than ever, it is difficult to find something to fight for. For most people( at least in first world countries) there are no small battle to be fought. The only thing to fight is the system that is so large and powerful it seems impossible to fight or to find/start a business to try and grow it. Both are hard to do and equally hard to find a starting point.

This may be so far off what you meant its ridiculous but its how I feel about things right now. Being a guy in his mid twenties it seems like doing anything worthwhile is pretty much impossible. I research things I want to do that are worthwhile but its all giant movements. What do I really have that could make a difference that other groups aren't all ready trying. A particular quote from 'Fight Club' comes to mind. “We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” except we aren't really mad just lost.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,053 Posts
I do sometimes feel like this from time to time since it feels like we're working towards an empty pit. However, I tend to be a bit more carnal in my attitudes (especially in regards to money and living well), so I have that going for me in college. After that's over, I really need to prioritize myself to come up with a better goal in life, but I have nothing thus far...
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mockingbird27

·
Registered
Joined
·
75 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I'm going to guess you are still fairly young(mid twenties maybe?) and you have yet to really find a goal or position of power to really flex your mind on. Now ,more than ever, it is difficult to find something to fight for. For most people( at least in first world countries) there are no small battle to be fought. The only thing to fight is the system that is so large and powerful it seems impossible to fight or to find/start a business to try and grow it. Both are hard to do and equally hard to find a starting point.

This may be so far off what you meant its ridiculous but its how I feel about things right now. Being a guy in his mid twenties it seems like doing anything worthwhile is pretty much impossible. I research things I want to do that are worthwhile but its all giant movements. What do I really have that could make a difference that other groups aren't all ready trying. A particular quote from 'Fight Club' comes to mind. “We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” except we aren't really mad just lost.
I think about the message Fight Club sends a lot actually, how other people are trapped by money and possessions and are so busy playing in the system they don't actually realise/appreciate that they're alive. Goal setting helps people out of ruts and move forward and I find it quite easy to set goals, it's just while I'm working towards them I can't help but think how pointless it is and wonder what I'm actually gaining when I lose it all in the end. It doesn't really have to do with my position in the world, I could have nothing or everything I think my perception would be the same, though obviously it's better to live comfortably and worry about dying than struggling everyday worrying about dying. Accepting it and knowing everyone else is as well doesn't make it any easier, maybe I'm greedy but I don't want my life to end and I feel like it's taking away the meaning in my life. Kind of like building a sand castle on the beach then the sea coming and washing it all away, I can play the game and build all I like but it leads to nothing. Also my feelings towards others can sometimes be like they're already gone, they're still here breathing but they're ultimately dead and it'll be like they were never here in the first place. I'm probably depressed to be fair.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,376 Posts
You gotta find something that you love and find a way to do it on the side, at least, if a career is not feasible. And by love, I don't mean you're insanely happy every moment you're doing it - I mean, something that you love, like you would love a family member or a romantic partner. You cherish it, you're dedicated to it, and you'd mourn its loss like nothing else.

I'm 24 years old and I spent the better part of a year, post-graduation, reevaluating my entire career path. I abandoned my chosen major and degree, and have been pursuing acting and writing since. Why? Because for me, they make life more than it is. They brighten dark clouds and turn sad rain into refreshing droplets of water.

Love - love of the dedicated, lifelong variety - is what moves the Chess Board into shadow and replaces it with something deeper: Maybe a starlit field at night, or a glowing sunrise in the morning.

Life is a game of Chess, but it's many other things too. Seek out those other things long enough and in your exhaustion from searching, they will take you by surprise. Sometimes what you're missing is the thing you always wanted to do, but never had the courage to.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13 Posts
I think about the message Fight Club sends a lot actually, how other people are trapped by money and possessions and are so busy playing in the system they don't actually realise/appreciate that they're alive. Goal setting helps people out of ruts and move forward and I find it quite easy to set goals, it's just while I'm working towards them I can't help but think how pointless it is and wonder what I'm actually gaining when I lose it all in the end. It doesn't really have to do with my position in the world, I could have nothing or everything I think my perception would be the same, though obviously it's better to live comfortably and worry about dying than struggling everyday worrying about dying. Accepting it and knowing everyone else is as well doesn't make it any easier, maybe I'm greedy but I don't want my life to end and I feel like it's taking away the meaning in my life. Kind of like building a sand castle on the beach then the sea coming and washing it all away, I can play the game and build all I like but it leads to nothing. Also my feelings towards others can sometimes be like they're already gone, they're still here breathing but they're ultimately dead and it'll be like they were never here in the first place. I'm probably depressed to be fair.
Unfortunately there is no such thing as immortality but even if there was would you really want to? It sounds like hell to me. Even if I do like my time alone I can't imagine going through eternity alone. Eventually you would tire of losing everything you love.
Now onto other points. Wouldn't you agree that because we aren't working towards living that we feel this way. Living is easier now more than any other time in known history. It feels almost like a burden to live. Do you understand how wrong that really is. We aren't programed to simply live but to survive. Can you really call what we do surviving. When was the last you had to hurt for food so you didn't starve.
When was the last time you really thought you would never pass on your genes. These are what we are made to do. But let's face it. We aren't like that anymore and we have to figure out our role in this new world and we have no clue what to do.
Even now there are no set roles to fulfill. We wonder through life seeking purpose and there is little to find.
Also I am depressed and I know it. That's why I'm trying to find purpose in this meaningless life of mine. Only I can give it purpose. It's no one else's job to find it for me.

Jeez every time I do these rants I feel like I'm so far off point. Meh guess I'll find out.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
75 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 · (Edited)
Unfortunately there is no such thing as immortality but even if there was would you really want to? It sounds like hell to me. Even if I do like my time alone I can't imagine going through eternity alone. Eventually you would tire of losing everything you love.
Now onto other points. Wouldn't you agree that because we aren't working towards living that we feel this way. Living is easier now more than any other time in known history. It feels almost like a burden to live. Do you understand how wrong that really is. We aren't programed to simply live but to survive. Can you really call what we do surviving. When was the last you had to hurt for food so you didn't starve.
When was the last time you really thought you would never pass on your genes. These are what we are made to do. But let's face it. We aren't like that anymore and we have to figure out our role in this new world and we have no clue what to do.
Even now there are no set roles to fulfill. We wonder through life seeking purpose and there is little to find.
Also I am depressed and I know it. That's why I'm trying to find purpose in this meaningless life of mine. Only I can give it purpose. It's no one else's job to find it for me.

Jeez every time I do these rants I feel like I'm so far off point. Meh guess I'll find out.

I believe it's not about surviving but thriving and the art of fulfilment comes from growth and contribution beyond yourself, however I also find it ridiculously easy to detach from everything and everyone so I could develop skills and be helping people making good progress in life then one day I'll just be like, I don't care any more, and it's not that I never cared in the first place it's more seeing just how insignificant and uncontrollable everything actually is. I seem to drift in and out of this realisation.

To answer your question yes, I'd really want to live forever there's no doubt in my mind about that and to live knowing it's going to end someday is what makes life seem precious but it just makes every effort seem futile because it doesn't last. For example a war breaking out and raging for years then it's resolved, all the effort that's gone into resolving that conflict for another one to start years later and it carries on like this going in cycles. Or imagine if a man decided he was going to cure cancer, so he dedicates himself gaining the knowledge he needs and running experiments to achieve this result and he succeeds then something else comes along that's worse, or an asteroid hits earth and wipes us all out, or his cure has some unforeseen side effects that are detrimental to us. For me it just takes away all meaning of doing good in the first place, especially if those good results breed negative and destructive ones. Like if a person needed an organ transplant so you decide to be a donor but something goes wrong because you had a disease no one was aware of, that person would've lived a little longer if you did nothing.

I often feel like I'm not allowed to talk about this stuff because it's negative and isn't constructive to moving forward but you can't really argue with it because it's the truth. I think it's just about not focussing on it and that's what I struggle with. You know I could be at work, reading a book or socialising with family and friends then it'll just pop in my head that we're all going to die and it all seems pretty pointless. Like when someone overreacts to something trivial I just think they've got bigger problems and if they're getting upset over something minor like that they obviously aren't aware of the bigger picture. I think I have accepted I'm going to die someday it's just like I said I don't want to and I just feel sorry for everyone, especially the ones hurting themselves and each other trying to get something they want just to find out later it meant nothing, though obviously it means something to them what I mean is in the grand scale of things.

I'm not sure if talking about it helps either or just exacerbates the situation by paying attention to it, I think it's important to explore ideas but I'm not sure if any good can come from digging deep into depression, indulging the idea so it grows. I suppose it's about finding a solution, other than living in denial.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,902 Posts
Relatable, indeed.

I try to plan and create a timeline. I am forced to go as far as the end of my mortality. It's sometimes debilitating to know that all that I will and have worked hard for are nothing but distractions from death. They're mere time killers. Work, I think is the most productive time killer. It makes me learn and earn.

Sometimes life is like watching a movie of which the ending is known and very predictable. This kind of movie is something I no longer want to watch. Apparently for life, I'd still rather live. Maybe.... there's more to life than just working, earning, ticking off my to-do list, and improving. This is what I'm trying to find out through philosophy. I live bec I'm curious about what facet of life I have overlooked bec surely, life can't be this unsatisfying.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,448 Posts
Bit of a depressing thread but does anyone else not know what they want out of life? Like it's a game that can't really be won. I usually fixate on a particular problem and work at solving it while indulging in sensual activities in my leisure time but ultimately I feel like I'm manoeuvring my way to death.

I often find myself pondering about the meaning of life.

I believe that all of us are put on earth for a reason. All of us are born with a spiritual gift, and we are meant to use this spiritual gift to contribute to humanity in some ways, no?

Somehow, along the way, we end up losing touch of our spiritual side. We became so focused on the materialistic aspects of this world, such as power, fame, jobs, money, etc. We spend our entire life so focused on our earthly needs, we spend our entire life trying to pursue the perfect career and the perfect soulmate, and in the process of doing so, we ended up forgetting to keep in touch with our Higher Self. And because we have lost touch with our Higher Self, we ended up lost, confused, we don't know who we are, we don't know our purpose on earth etc.

The world is definitely a chess board, there is always this chance that we will end up losing. But let's look at everything from another perspective, winning or losing doesn't matter, what matters most is the knowledge and wisdom that we have accumulated along the way, what matters most is that we have managed to leave a positive impact on humanity in some ways.

Instead of focusing on winning or losing, why not focus on making the most out of our existence on earth?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
899 Posts
I am a bit confused with the title and your statement that you can not win in live. You can win in chess.
I think that Nietzsche said in one of his book that if there is no god, people could not find meaning in death, and by extenstion, meaning in life. That would lead to nihilism and a melancholy. He stated that every person should find something that would fire passion in them, some calling that would have meaning, something that would make life meaningful to the person. So, to summarize, you need to find something you really love, devote your life to it. And then life would have meaning. The you would not just "maneuvering to death"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
75 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I am a bit confused with the title and your statement that you can not win in live. You can win in chess.
I think that Nietzsche said in one of his book that if there is no god, people could not find meaning in death, and by extenstion, meaning in life. That would lead to nihilism and a melancholy. He stated that every person should find something that would fire passion in them, some calling that would have meaning, something that would make life meaningful to the person. So, to summarize, you need to find something you really love, devote your life to it. And then life would have meaning. The you would not just "maneuvering to death"
Yeah I think I've gone off point from the title a bit, I meant it to be a thread about perspectives and it became more focussed on depression. Though I've known people say when they're depressed that life is a game they no longer want to play, having that perspective that it's a game is probably what induces depression in the first place, rather than looking at it as a gift to be appreciated. Chasing power and winning can be exhilarating though.

In regards to your comment, I guess most people attach meaning to their relationships primarily with more focus on family. For me I just find it difficult to attach meaning and devote myself to something when there are so many options and trouble finding a worthwhile cause to be passionate about. Also with family they can be so uncontrollable, it's okay finding a partner and having children but if your children one day decide not to love you any more does that take away from the meaning, all you've worked for and all of your passion wasted, that's if you're concerned with the result of your efforts rather than living life passionately for it's own sake and hoping for the best. Also being an INTJ it's difficult getting passionate about anything as my two main functions are introverted intuition and extroverted thinking followed by introverted feeling, so even if I do care deeply for someone or something it's not really apparent on the surface and the other party would probably not reciprocate out of a belief that I simply don't care. Can you love something/someone that doesn't love you back?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
899 Posts
Yeah I think I've gone off point from the title a bit, I meant it to be a thread about perspectives and it became more focussed on depression. Though I've known people say when they're depressed that life is a game they no longer want to play, having that perspective that it's a game is probably what induces depression in the first place, rather than looking at it as a gift to be appreciated. Chasing power and winning can be exhilarating though.

In regards to your comment, I guess most people attach meaning to their relationships primarily with more focus on family. For me I just find it difficult to attach meaning and devote myself to something when there are so many options and trouble finding a worthwhile cause to be passionate about. Also with family they can be so uncontrollable, it's okay finding a partner and having children but if your children one day decide not to love you any more does that take away from the meaning, all you've worked for and all of your passion wasted, that's if you're concerned with the result of your efforts rather than living life passionately for it's own sake and hoping for the best. Also being an INTJ it's difficult getting passionate about anything as my two main functions are introverted intuition and extroverted thinking followed by introverted feeling, so even if I do care deeply for someone or something it's not really apparent on the surface and the other party would probably not reciprocate out of a belief that I simply don't care. Can you love something/someone that doesn't love you back?
Firstly, i think that a person can love someone/something that does not love back.
Secondly, the passion you need does not have to be directed to another people. Anything that you can love, such a hobbies, games ect. can be a fuel to ones life. The joy or excitement you experience during such activites can be ones passion. Hobby is not going to betray you, and the fruits of your work will certantily appear.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,444 Posts
I'm going to guess you are still fairly young(mid twenties maybe?) and you have yet to really find a goal or position of power to really flex your mind on. Now ,more than ever, it is difficult to find something to fight for. For most people( at least in first world countries) there are no small battle to be fought. The only thing to fight is the system that is so large and powerful it seems impossible to fight or to find/start a business to try and grow it. Both are hard to do and equally hard to find a starting point.

This may be so far off what you meant its ridiculous but its how I feel about things right now. Being a guy in his mid twenties it seems like doing anything worthwhile is pretty much impossible. I research things I want to do that are worthwhile but its all giant movements. What do I really have that could make a difference that other groups aren't all ready trying. A particular quote from 'Fight Club' comes to mind. “We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” except we aren't really mad just lost.
I like what you said there and agree. I think INTJs and ENTPs are very similar in this respect ..in that it's difficult for us to find meaning and satisfaction in life because the only thing that feels like it could give us meaning and purpose in life at this point in history is to completely change everything, government/economic systems, culture, education etc....and it's frustrating because it's such an impossible task, society's designed for conformity, and most people are content going along with the shitty way things are...I think everyone sees the problems in the world an want them to change, but it doesn't get to them as much. They're able to be content eating soylent green and telling each other that 2+2=5 so long as they get the weekends off and spend a week or two in the summer at the beach.

However, I don't think you should feel so pessimistic and doomed to not be able to make a difference in the world. Even if you can't change everything you can change something and in doing so you can inspire others to make more changes. You can live a life that you enjoy because it is fulfilling and well lived and doing what you've chosen to do w/ it rather than accepting some cubicle that society has assigned to you to serve as a coffin for your hopes and dreams.

I think people are too overwhelmed with the seemingly impossible things they want to change in the world, when what you should focus on more is figuring out you can do to make a difference. It doesn't need to be huge, it just needs to be fulfilling for you personally. Making a difference in the world doesn't have to be all or none. And the fact that you are ambitious to set your sights on changing everything means that you probably are capable of doing quite a lot so as to be satisfying.

I've been learning about the works of Joseph Campbell and archetypes etc. recently and was thinking about Fight Club the other day, and realized that I felt it related to the journey of the Magician archetype. This gained me new insight/interpretation of what I feel that movie is all about that never dawned on me before.

In the beginning of the movie the event that sets the story in motion and set Edward Norton on his journey is joining the fight club and eventually leaving his job. The magician's journey isn't really so much a journey as a struggle, one that people sometimes don't know they're on, but eventually culminates in some deep insight. (As an example The Fountain comes to mind as another example of a magician's journey) In Fight Club Edward Nortorn is fed up w/ the outside world and working for a meaningless corporation, but joining the fight club doesn't really give his life meaning either. At the end he realizes that Brad Pitt was really him the whole time...the significance of this is that in the beginning he was pissed at the outside world for all the problems in the world, but really he was personally just as guilty of of being in a destructive state of disarray. He was completely out of touch with his inner self, everything that he repressed into his unconscious he completely didn't want to even identify with so much so that he perceived it as a completely different person. The outer world is always only a reflection of our inner selves. If you want to change the world you have to look inside yourself, get to know and accept your true Self including its flaws and ugliness and as a result become a more balanced, humbler, and stronger person. The real problems in society lie not so much in our institutions as in the failure of people to look inside themselves so as to be true to their true selves and true priorities, rather than driven by greed, money sex, blind religious faith, and other bullshit that is just the result of insecurities. Edward Norton' character wasn't driven by the bullshit of money, greed, propaganda and other crap but he was just as guilty as everyone else of being too insecure to look at his true self and until he finally did.

...hope that didn't sound too preachy. it's crazy when I'm looking back at movies now as a more mature person and one who has read a bunch of psychology. lol I'm like looking at all these movies now and just like wow I didn't get the message of that movie at all the first time I watched it.

I like this vid about Joseph Campbell's ideas I think its worth watching


 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,160 Posts
Bit of a depressing thread but does anyone else not know what they want out of life? Like it's a game that can't really be won. I usually fixate on a particular problem and work at solving it while indulging in sensual activities in my leisure time but ultimately I feel like I'm maneuvering my way to death.
Finally some melancholy related topic.

I dont particularly want anything out of life per se, as a fellow INTJ. However, think about it this way, if life is a game that cannot be won, it cannot be lost either, right? Mind you that finishing the game (dying) is not the same as losing it.

I think the most important thing in life to have a plan of the person you want to be and come close to creating that person while remembering that every action shapes who you are in some other way. Think of the product you're solving as a means and not an end. You know, I have always believed that suicidal people, or people who, for this matter, want to die, are the freest people of all. Why? Think about it, if you are really considering quitting the game, you might as well do something risky before putting away the cards, right?

Keeping yourself alive isn't the most difficult thing to do. Life is a really interesting phenomenon and people are really interesting creatures that are worth looking into, as we tend to exhibit behaviors which are very unorthodox in nature as a whole. What does this mean? This means, or at least I see it this way, that by killing yourself and quitting the game prematurely you are missing out on an opportunity to see how things pan out.

Instead of looking to get something out of life, just take a seat, and enjoy the show while working on yourself and becoming the person that you want to be.
 
1 - 19 of 19 Posts
Top