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I was recently in a relationship with an ENFP. I thought he was amazing and that everything was great.

I was obviously wrong.

He ended our relationship with a story that made him look like a great guy who was doing something quite admirable.

I have recently found out that it was a complete lie. Until I found out the truth, I had been devastated for him and his family.

I have never encountered this level of deceit.

Do ENFP's struggle with difficult situations to such a degree that they would rather lie or is there something so wrong with this person that it is a character flaw within him.

I was always calm and gracious with him. I'm not a violent or explosive person.

Thank you for your insight
 

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Depends on the nature of our relationship, if I don't think you can handle the truth, then it's not something I'm going to give you. I mean people say they don't want to be lied to, but more often than not that is also a lie.
 
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I was recently in a relationship with an ENFP. I thought he was amazing and that everything was great.

I was obviously wrong.

He ended our relationship with a story that made him look like a great guy who was doing something quite admirable.

I have recently found out that it was a complete lie. Until I found out the truth, I had been devastated for him and his family.

I have never encountered this level of deceit.

Do ENFP's struggle with difficult situations to such a degree that they would rather lie or is there something so wrong with this person that it is a character flaw within him.

I was always calm and gracious with him. I'm not a violent or explosive person.

Thank you for your insight
There is no rule for this one. If he told you a crazy lie for no reason that would be uncharacteristic of most people.

As an ENFP I value the truth, but don't think everyone deserves the truth. If I care about someone and they can handle the truth, they get it. I rarely lie to hide shame, but it happens to everyone I guess.

I'd say if he lied there is a lack of respect or trust or both.
 

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No one ENFP will end a relationship the same way as another ENFP, because ENFPs are not all the same, because humans don't function within binaries like that and you cannot predict all behaviour with sweeping categories for cognitive direction. Everyone does this, asks "Do (type)s do this?" Well, I don't know, do you eat carrots? If so, is it an ESTJ thing to eat carrots? How do ESTJs eat carrots? Is there a specific way I should give my carrot to my ESTJ?

No. Because it doesn't mean anything. That person might have been deluded, or they might not have wanted to hurt you, or maybe he didn't want to share it, or maybe he felt uncomfortable, or maybe he was crazy. Any number of external factors completely unrelated to MBTI probably influenced him to make the decisions he did. I'm so tired of people assuming that a bunch of random other people can assess their relationship and tell them why it went wrong because of MBTI. As if MBTI is the be all, end all to the way we look at relationships. If you want to know how types interact, check out Socionics, that theory was developed SPECIFICALLY to analyse how people mingle. We weren't there, and MBTI doesn't account for character flaws. People are not their MBTI, the only aspect of their existence that MBTI elaborates on is the direction of their thought process and the information they are naturally oriented towards.

MBTI is NOT about the what, it's about the how (and maybe the why).
 

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We talked before and I remember the story well. I would agree with Dug if and only if I believed in the man's sanity, which I do not. I had two women in my life who are emotional predators: THEY FIND IT THRILLING TO HAVE POWER OVER ANOTHER'S FEELINGS. One is a pathological liar who would say anything to have you indulge her emotions and another made me uncomfortable to speak my mind in her company. Men are no different. I am confident it is a perversion on his part.

... that or he's delirious. Guys we are NOT dealing with a typical ENFP.

I have spoken to and read numerous posts from ENFPs who find the notion of physical, psychic and emotional dominance disgusting. This includes the creation of fictitious persona and events for the purpose of obtaining your desired objective, making yourself look better, or getting sympathy. This is consistent regardless of gender and sexual orientation. And as a potential and probable NT, I second this notion and I am certain that the majority of ENFPs and other types would not approve of his behavior.

What he did is actually quite nasty, not worth dwelling upon.
 
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@waterlady I'm really sorry to hear what happened :frustrating: I don't think what he did is in any way acceptable or okay. Maybe he has his reasons but still... breaking up by lying about someone else's health I think is a vile thing to do.

Not to be a total hypocrite, I have to admit I'm not too good with telling the truth. If I've met someone over coffee like twice and feel I'm not interested, I don't want to mess around with that persons feelings. So I tend to "break up" at that point. (I've got friends who will date just for fun, not thinking about what's going on next, if someone's getting too interested or not and so on. I don't care to date someone unless I think they could be the one) But instead of telling them straight, I don't find them interesting enough to be more than friends I just rather say I'm not into getting so serious with anyone (this where the "lie" is, I could be ready with the right person), not looking for a relationship or something like that. But I'd call that sugarcoating the truth rather than lying, since I do all that to make sure nobody get's hurt.

But I would never ever end a relationship/something serious like that, I think at that point when you get involved with someone, you owe them the truth. I think just disappearing or lying your way out at that point of dating, especially real lies, is one of the nastiest things to do.
 

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Depends on the person in question doesnt it? The only time i'd lie is if it made the person in question feel better; Or if it was a mutual for the better. Never to make myself seem better or feel better; If we're both gonna be miserable anyway it's better to turn up the heatgloves and just burn us both with the hard truth.
I've a problem wit confrontation, but - I'd never "deceit" anyone in such a matter.
 

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I was recently in a relationship with an ENFP. I thought he was amazing and that everything was great.

I was obviously wrong.

He ended our relationship with a story that made him look like a great guy who was doing something quite admirable.

I have recently found out that it was a complete lie. Until I found out the truth, I had been devastated for him and his family.

I have never encountered this level of deceit.

Do ENFP's struggle with difficult situations to such a degree that they would rather lie or is there something so wrong with this person that it is a character flaw within him.

I was always calm and gracious with him. I'm not a violent or explosive person.

Thank you for your insight

Would you mind to describe the situation in pm, if you feel like it ? There are so many possible factors regardin the how it happened, it's quite hard to try to give an answer
 
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