[Brad Lynch]

Hello.. Sorry for joining in on your forum, but I need advice.

The Situation:

Yesturday, I was talking to my INFJ best friend that I have been infatuated with for quite some time now. She was getting in a distant mood (as she does once in a while) and would not talk to me. I confronted her about it and she got really mad at me. We haven't talked since then. It hurt my feelings quite a bit, since I like her quite a bit.

Now my plan was to ask her out/tell her my feelings tomorrow. I am still planning to do so. So, I made a short little video that I am going to have her watch. And then tell her everything.

[video]http://youtu.be/UIW8hMbm-b0?hd=1[/video]

What I Need:

I need to know what you INFJ women would think of this if you saw this video and then was asked out.

I also would like suggestions.. I really want to impress her with this.

Thank you,
-Brad.

 

[Berdudget]

It's certainly a grand gesture. It's romantic. It's got a little suspense, a little humor, a little randomness, and a *smidge* of accusation.

I'm in a sensitive place right now and I don't know the specifics of her distant mood. But I'm a little bit nervous. I think her reaction is not going to be predictable. Be prepared for anything. I wish I knew why she was distant. That would help me help you. But, even then, it's SO HARD to help people in this format.

 

[Brad Lynch]

It's certainly a grand gesture. It's romantic. It's got a little suspense, a little humor, a little randomness, and a *smidge* of accusation.

I'm in a sensitive place right now and I don't know the specifics of her distant mood. But I'm a little bit nervous. I think her reaction is not going to be predictable. Be prepared for anything. I wish I knew why she was distant. That would help me help you. But, even then, it's SO HARD to help people in this format.

She becomes distant at random times.

I honestly do not believe it is the world around her that causes this, she just "doesn't need to talk to people sometimes."

She can be really clingy to me most of the time though. If that gives anything away.

 

[Berdudget]

Well, then I think it'll be a wonderful experience. I hope you'll share how it goes. :happy:

 

[jd_]

I'm an INFJ guy, and the video would creep me out if somebody asked me out like that. Now, if I was in a year relationship with somebody and they made a thoughtful video, that is different.
But, I don't know your situation.

 

[HorribleAesthete]

I can appreciate the gesture, but to be quite honest, I think it is a bit much. Just my two cents.

 

[Perspicacious]

For me personally, it would really depend on how "I" feel about you.

If I like you, well, yay! I would probably be pretty happy about this.

If I'm not sure... I would feel put on the spot, I might have preferred an email invitation to an official date.

If I don't like you in that way, I would feel both put on the spot and guilty, and would absolutely have preferred an email invitation to an official date which I could find a way to politely decline at my own leisure and reassure you that our friendship will be unaffected by the solicitation.

 

[Berdudget]

I second @Perspicacious's thoughts.

 

[Way of the Sword]

I agree with the people in the "it will creep with out" department.

From my personal experience, a man knows if a woman is genuinely interested in him. You really shouldn't have to tell her how you feel. Those feelings do the telling, and if they were mutual you two will simply just be in a relationship. If you have this "what if" attitude or still trying to "figure it out" it usually means the feelings are not mutual and you may be setting yourself up. Perhaps she senses that you like her and she distances herself from you as her way of showing that she is not interested or fear or losing her friendship with you.

I strongly suggest that you be honest with yourself before you do anything.

 

[geekofalltrades]

Personally, I wouldn't spill out a bunch of emotions at her before the first date, because that would be really overwhelming, no matter how she felt. I'd keep it simple: "Would you like to go out to dinner with me?" Your feelings will show through well enough, especially if she's INFJ. Be cool, keep the atmosphere relaxed, and if, after a bunch of dates, you find yourself in a really intimate situation (I, for example, found myself holding her tightly by a moonlit lake on a warm Spring night - is that some straight fairytale shit, or what?), then that would be a really marvelous time to bring the emotions out.

 

[JollyBard]

Yeah dude, this is some creepy shit. The whole space thing and ominous music makes it feel incredibly important and epic, and that'd put her in a tight spot, whether or not she likes you. Just... start out slow.

 

[Kabby]

It may be a bit late to respond, but I agree with others, that while it's a romantic and sweet gesture, it's a bit grand before a first date. It makes it seem as if she'd have to commit to something before she even knows what's coming, and frankly this might scare her off. If I were shown this, I would be skeptical because it'd seem like a huge leap to make. I'd say ask her out in a more nonchalant way, let her know your feelings, and if she's interested, go on a few dates and see how things work out. I think INFJs, and especially with your friend who has that spacing out thing about her, taking a leap of faith like that is more likely to scare her off than pull her closer. Then again I don't know the dynamics of your relationship, so I could be wrong.
I do hope everything works out for the best, for both of you...

 

[Vivid Melody]

Save it for when you make your marriage proposal