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So the thing is - I have this friend - we used to like each other and were sort of dating several years ago, but then things ended abruptly - he found a girlfriend in someone who was his best friend. We would still rarely meet and have deep conversations, he started to express regret and left his girlfriend for me, but already had plans to leave the continent for a couple of months. When he came back we had sex and afterwards I felt frightened (which I never explained to him) and started to avoid him, he renewed relationship with his former girlfriend and we stopped communicating for a while. Naturally we started to talk again, met a couple of times and had sex (this time he cheated on his girlfriend) and after a couple of days I said that I want to be with him and he said that he needs to be single. He initiated for us to meet and to talk about everything, but somehow we did not meet and again stopped communicating. A year or more passed, he now is together with the same girl he was then, we're talking again, this time I hope we will be strictly platonic, cause his intellect and insights have an immense value. Just the other day we met and were sitting and talking about some philosophical stuff, he then rested his head on my shoulder, hugged me for a long time and was holding my hands. It was innocent and tender, and maybe it only seemed romantic to me because we have a past. I realised it only after, that actually maybe that was not appropriate and there needs to be some boundaries for the sake of everyone. What would be his motivation behind actions like these? Why would he be so cuddly? What do you think about this overall? I could really use some objectivity.
 

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INFJ 6w5 Scorpio
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Your story is sweet and (no pun intended) touching, reminding me of situations in my own life. Not sure I can ultimately advise; but could you clarify some things for the benefit of potential answerers?:

--How old are you and he?

--The "deep conversations": Were these relationshippy/personal conversations, or abstract philosophical reflections?

--Why did you feel frightened?

--When he said he needs to be single, did he mean that he needed to be single (="not with a GF") to have a relationship with you, or that he needed to be single and not have a settled relationship with anyone?

--Excuse my directness, please, but: do you feel he loves you as a person, or that he loves your availability for sex, or both, or what?

--Considering nothing but you, what sort of a relationship would you like with him?
 

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I would ask odinthor's last question
What kind of relationship do you really want but without thinking about him, just for yourself
 
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