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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi everyone, I have a little bit of an issue which I've not actually been able to find anywhere else. I would like your opinion on this :th_woot:

Basically for about 2 years (ending last year) I had undiagnosed depression but my father said it was and thoroughly explained it. He's also part of the counselling bit and social services.They (he and my mother) didn't want to take me to get diagnosed; however, as they felt I could 'heal' myself. And I did, which is... awesome! haha.
So moving onto this year I came out of my shell a bit to my parents. I typed up a timeline of events that they may not have known about (nothing serious, but stuff they may have been interested in), and they asked me questions which I'd answer to the best of my ability. It was nice to have things out in the open, and not have my parents worry for me all the time. This was in February.
Note: I assume females will understand this more, so... yeah. Just letting you know.
March-April I was put on a combined-pill called Rigevidon. I was reluctant to take it because I'm single and obviously y'know I wouldn't feel like I'd need it because I'm not that kinda person! #IfyaknowwhatImean. But it was to 'regulate' me since I go about 4-5 months without one sometimes. Sorry if this is TMI but it may help understanding I don't really know.

So being on this thing made a mess of me. It made me feel super empty and emotionless/ motivationless and I had no idea why. People were asking me if I was okay at times, and again I'd have no idea why. My mother sat me down and asked if I felt blablabla (depression symptoms) again and if I did it isn't natural to feel this way on them and therefore we should change it. Sooooo we did.

Since then I've been on 'Lizinna' and I've pretty much turned into a paranoid "ticking-time bomb." (mother's words). I've been kicking off at petty things, saying stuff I dont mean in my mind and seriously being surprised later on when I've calmed down, and at times just wanting to annoy people for no reason haha. I always tell the only person I talk to in my sixth-form college not to be two-faced about people because she is to like, everyone. And I have recently became such a hypocrite and I've not done it before, either. Usually I'm also very laid back and patient, and now... the word 'calm' is no longer in my vocabulary.
With regards to paranoia, for the past 2 weeks I've been sleeping with my lamp on. When I was younger I would sleep with the light on because I was afraid that someone would sneak into the house and stay under my bed and scare me or whatever. Since then I got over it, and now it's sorta come back? I've been checking under my bed, both my wardrobes (both the sides and through the clothes), the side of my bed, and behind my door when it's open. This is basically to ensure that I'm 110% safe else I'll be sat in bed trying not to do it because I 'know' I'm safe, but in the end I give in.

At first I blamed the stuff I've been on, but more recently I've been wondering if it's me? I hate to ever use the word 'prolapsing' but perhaps this is a possibility? I also took into account that for the past 2 years, I've not had anybody to confide in. I was always cautious even when I did have 2 best close sister-like friends but even they didn't know everything as I knew they'd leave me eventually. Perhaps I just don't go out enough?
Thank you for spending ages reading this :th_sur: I'm sorry it's so long!
 

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Switch to the chill pill? aww thats a bad joke, sorry!
i dont get why youre on pills though. so quit it and then youll know if youre making excuses or not
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Switch to the chill pill? aww thats a bad joke, sorry!
i dont get why youre on pills though. so quit it and then youll know if youre making excuses or not

Haha that sounds like a good idea! Basically in uh, the female 'cycle' I'm very much abnormally and worryingly "late" almost all the time. So this is supposed to get me back on track
 

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Haha that sounds like a good idea! Basically in uh, the female 'cycle' I'm very much abnormally and worryingly "late" almost all the time. So this is supposed to get me back on track
I think your own biology knows what it's doing, and your parents' attempts to help that are hurting you worse. I'd give the pills up. But that's me. I don't think that, just because your body doesn't operate like what is considered normal that it is unhealthy. The pills, on the other hand, do seem to be unhealthy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I think your own biology knows what it's doing, and your parents' attempts to help that are hurting you worse. I'd give the pills up. But that's me. I don't think that, just because your body doesn't operate like what is considered normal that it is unhealthy. The pills, on the other hand, do seem to be unhealthy.
Thank you for your input :) I ended up asking the doctor about it, if it would be healthy to give them up right away because I don't feel that they're doing me any good at all. He said it would be best to take them (I have 5 days more of them) until they're finished then leave them for about 2 months so I'm not messing my body up. After that its a case of seeing if I need something else or perhaps taking these will have helped by then.
 
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