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Discussion Starter #1
I saw a meme that said,

"Life can be very frustrating when the person you want to spend the rest of your life with won't accept your friend request."

People say social media is no big deal, but I think it's irritating when I spend a lot of time with people who don't add me to Facebook or anywhere even though they want to say and act like they are a friend in person.

I wonder what makes a pass to get accepted onto someone's page?

Obviously not hanging out with them weekly.

I'd like to tag and take cute pics with someone I'm dating so that it's no secret...

I used to have an ex-fling who literally hid me once he met me. I said if he has something to hide or if he doesn't want to show me off on his page so he can talk to other girls on the down low, I don't need that kind of person.

I then had another ex who made it Facebook official only to break up three days later.

I just can't find a happy medium with social media.

I kind of want to delete Facebook all together.

I had an ex-fling who would add 500 girls to his page and like girls' selfies.

And another ex, I deleted because I wanted to be done with him but we still occasionally talk on the phone once in a while from a distance. He's in a different state. Just someone to call when bored, not anything else by it.

Then again, I've had people call me and still keep in touch without social media which shows me they're still thinking about me even if they don't see my page to remind them and they still remember my birthday without Facebook.

Would you be bothered if the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with didn't add you to social media?
I only keep people on my page who I hang out with and talk to. Every single one of my friends on there at some point I have hung out with them...I don't add acquaintances or hundreds of people. If someone doesn't add me back, I take that as a hint that I don't talk to them in real life.

It's kind of good in a way where my college guy doesn't have me on his page because then I won't be suspicious of who is on his page and stuff. It would be annoying when I had my other ex-fling on my page and in the ticker feed I would constantly see him commenting on girls' photos and pages.

Some people say they wouldn't be bothered by it, but I really doubt that considering social media is of much use these days. I only keep Facebook to keep in touch with friends who I don't normally call but they would chat me online because with nearby people and their add/delete games they are annoying.

Now I have to be cordial to people in person who didn't accept my request because there's so many that didn't who I hang out with weekly.
 
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Social media is the image you show to the outside world.

I don't care much for social media personally but I would never continue a relationship with someone who ignored my friend request for several reasons:

1) May already have a gf/bf
2) May feel uncomfortable about other people knowing you're in a relationship
3) May have things to hide
4) They way people behave socially says a lot about their character etc.

I wouldn't feel compelled to add someone on FB if I'm not friends with them, but if I receive a friend request I would accept. Mainly because I view it as potentially hurtful if I don't. If I genuinely not like the person I might consider rejecting the friend request but haven't happened to me once so far.

However, I have blocked several people due to bad behaviour on their part over the years.
 

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I don't use social media anymore. I see the personal thing has having your phone number. I have plenty of "friends" but I would not give them my phone number. If I knew someone who wanted to show off our experiences on a social media website, that person would be no less annoying than my mom. Social media is a public forum, that's where "outsiders" belong.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
My social media is true to my real life and I don't exaggerate anything I do on there. I've only ever deleted people I didn't want to talk to or see again. So when I have "friends" who deleted/blocked me but still call me sometimes I'm confused by that.

Usually, when someone blocks and/or deletes me on everything I take that as a hint they don't want to talk anymore.

So when I texted the college guy what was going on when he deleted me I asked if that means he doesn't want to talk anymore, he still talked to me like regular as if we were hanging out. I know some people delete me because they can't handle my political views which is funny because I don't delete anyone for that even if I think they are a snowflake, yet they are offended by me enough to delete me. It's amusing because I don't even say anything offensive. You'd think other people would be upset by reading posts about people burning the flag and bible they should be equally upset, but it's offensive apparently to be upset.

And then why would I want to be friends or date people who are so intolerant of other people's views is another question when they delete me. People can say what they want on their pages and I can say whatever I want on mine.

I wonder if college guy didn't want me to see things on there because I told him how I was annoyed by an ex before adding 500 girls to his page. Ironically, college guy has mostly guys and very few girls on his page, lol.

I don't add people any more because of the fact that they might not accept it.

There was another "ex" who I went out on dates with for two months who wouldn't add me but he added this girl who he barely knows and doesn't even really talk to yet he doesn't add me. He also added someone else's girlfriend and talks to her all the time on there, but not me. I don't get that.

Social media is the image you show to the outside world.

I don't care much for social media personally but I would never continue a relationship with someone who ignored my friend request for several reasons:

1) May already have a gf/bf
2) May feel uncomfortable about other people knowing you're in a relationship
3) May have things to hide
4) They way people behave socially says a lot about their character etc.

I wouldn't feel compelled to add someone on FB if I'm not friends with them, but if I receive a friend request I would accept. Mainly because I view it as potentially hurtful if I don't. If I genuinely not like the person I might consider rejecting the friend request but haven't happened to me once so far.

However, I have blocked several people due to bad behaviour on their part over the years.
 
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Discussion Starter #5
I don't use social media anymore. I see the personal thing has having your phone number. I have plenty of "friends" but I would not give them my phone number. If I knew someone who wanted to show off our experiences on a social media website, that person would be no less annoying than my mom. Social media is a public forum, that's where "outsiders" belong.
You can view that as "annoying" but I find it telling if someone doesn't even want to accept a person's request or acknowledge someone online -- like they have something to hide. It can be interpreted a lot of ways. And I wouldn't want to date someone who keeps me a secret on social media so he can talk to other girls on there.
 
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Discussion Starter #7
Looks like you dodged a bullet there.

People who like you will look for any chance to get a means of contact, be it phone number/fb page, anything.

In my experience if someone likes you on a romantic level will want to show you off. Unless there's reasons not to.

Better luck next time :)
Thanks. When one of my ex-flings moved away, he started dating this girl who was recently divorced who wouldn't change anything about her page. She still even had her ex husband's last name as if she was still with him but she put in a relationship.

I told my ex-fling I wouldn't be with someone who refused to change her last name, lol. I know it costs to change last names in person, but it's free to do it online. Looks like he took my advice and broke up with her, haha, because she was seriously making him look like the other man even if her husband did cheat on her.

I'm like why does a person have to tell her to delete all her status and pics with her husband? And it was recent, too.

So disrespectful to both my ex-fling and her husband and she still has all her husband's family on her page.

I'm like why isn't anyone else doing research about this girl like I am? Lol.

Only reason it didn't work out with my ex-fling (before the college guy) was because he moved.
 
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I don't use social media anymore. It's just another extension of a person's image at best. You are not actually peeking into their lives, but rather seeing the image they want you to see.

Now that I think about it, I wouldn't want someone I'm dating to put pictures of meon their profile. I don't need people to know we are in a relationship if it's not their business to know. Also, I'm am not an object you can flaunt online and show to your friends just to make others jealous. Besides it can look really bad for the person who put there to suddenly take it down if we were to break up. That just gives the excuse for people to pry into your relationship opening up another plethora of problems.

I do feel as though if you are dating someone you should have access to their social media account, but even to me that's a grey area. I think you should trust somebody enough to point where you don't need to check their account, but then again people have their reasons for doing so and that's them.

Not adding someone such as your friend of partner to your social media does look bad though, but I wouldn't really know since I don't have one. As for dating someone? I don't think social media should be that important enough to stop pursing a relationship with them just because they didn't add you. I think its more like accepting that person to keep eyes on you more than anything, which imo this kind of trust should be established early on.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I don't use social media anymore. It's just another extension of a person's image at best. You are not actually peeking into their lives, but rather seeing the image they want you to see.

Now that I think about it, I wouldn't want someone I'm dating to put pictures of meon their profile. I don't need people to know we are in a relationship if it's not their business to know. Also, I'm am not an object you can flaunt online and show to your friends just to make others jealous. Besides it can look really bad for the person who put there to suddenly take it down if we were to break up. That just gives the excuse for people to pry into your relationship opening up another plethora of problems.

I do feel as though if you are dating someone you should have access to their social media account, but even to me that's a grey area. I think you should trust somebody enough to point where you don't need to check their account, but then again people have their reasons for doing so and that's them.

Not adding someone such as your friend of partner to your social media does look bad though, but I wouldn't really know since I don't have one. As for dating someone? I don't think social media should be that important enough to stop pursing a relationship with them just because they didn't add you. I think its more like accepting that person to keep eyes on you more than anything, which imo this kind of trust should be established early on.
To me if a person really loves someone they would want to show them off @_Ionic. Like, no one should have to tell them to take down pictures of their exes, or to put pics up of their new partner. I agree that a person doesn't have to be shown off on their page, but it's annoying at best when they don't even accept the friend request for whatever reason but they still want to hang out in person. It sends me mixed signals.

I've known some people to hide that they were talking to other people on the down low that is a main reason for not adding someone.
 
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Thanks. When one of my ex-flings moved away, he started dating this girl who was recently divorced who wouldn't change anything about her page. She still even had her ex husband's last name as if she was still with him but she put in a relationship.

I told my ex-fling I wouldn't be with someone who refused to change her last name, lol. I know it costs to change last names in person, but it's free to do it online. Looks like he took my advice and broke up with her, haha, because she was seriously making him look like the other man even if her husband did cheat on her.

I'm like why does a person have to tell her to delete all her status and pics with her husband? And it was recent, too.

So disrespectful to both my ex-fling and her husband and she still has all her husband's family on her page.

I'm like why isn't anyone else doing research about this girl like I am? Lol.

Only reason it didn't work out with my ex-fling (before the college guy) was because he moved.
Oh dear, do I relate.

I've been in a very similar situation not so long ago.

Avoid people like that at all costs.
 

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To me if a person really loves someone they would want to show them off @_Ionic. Like, no one should have to tell them to take down pictures of their exes, or to put pics up of their new partner. I agree that a person doesn't have to be shown off on their page, but it's annoying at best when they don't even accept the friend request for whatever reason but they still want to hang out in person. It sends me mixed signals.

I've known some people to hide that they were talking to other people on the down low that is a main reason for not adding someone.
I agree with you though. If there is nothing to hide, why not accept the friend request anyway?
 

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How do you find out if you've been blocked or deleted by a friend?

I've had all of two boyfriends and both made it official with social media. I don't use FB often. Mostly it's to stay in contact with an older crowd. I haven't had all these problems you've had. I have blocked people I found irritating. I don't mind updates about major events but I don't want inspirational quotes, irrelevant news stories, weight goals or pictures of kids massive boogers. It doesn't mean I dislike a person, I dislike their FB content. They're either boring, prolific or annoying. I don't friend acquaintances from school or work just because I see them regularly. Seeing them weekly doesn't make them my friend.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
How do you find out if you've been blocked or deleted by a friend?

I've had all of two boyfriends and both made it official with social media. I don't use FB often. Mostly it's to stay in contact with an older crowd. I haven't had all these problems you've had. I have blocked people I found irritating. I don't mind updates about major events but I don't want inspirational quotes, irrelevant news stories, weight goals or pictures of kids massive boogers. It doesn't mean I dislike a person, I dislike their FB content. They're either boring, prolific or annoying. I don't friend acquaintances from school or work just because I see them regularly. Seeing them weekly doesn't make them my friend.

Not sure what you're trying to imply by that statement I've bolded -- thinking you're better to show off or what? Many people have this problem it is not just me to where they meet someone they want to date who won't add them on social media.


I can tell because I have mutual friends with them who are still friends with them. I've only ever blocked two people because they were very intolerant of other people's political views and I've hid people's pages from my feed that I went to high school with who I talk to even though I couldn't care less for their opinions on certain things.

I'm asking what gets a pass onto someone's page if seeing them weekly and hanging out isn't enough of a pass, but they want to say and acknowledge we are friends in person but not online??
 

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Not sure what you're trying to imply by that statement I've bolded -- thinking you're better to show off or what? Many people have this problem it is not just me to where they meet someone they want to date who won't add them on social media.


I can tell because I have mutual friends with them who are still friends with them. I've only ever blocked two people because they were very intolerant of other people's political views and I've hid people's pages from my feed that I went to high school with who I talk to even though I couldn't care less for their opinions on certain things.

I'm asking what gets a pass onto someone's page if seeing them weekly and hanging out isn't enough of a pass, but they want to say and acknowledge we are friends in person but not online??
My point is you appear to take fb friends very seriously. I take dating seriously. If a guy wouldn't add me on social media it would be a public indication that I embarrass him. But an acquaintance you talk to once a week at school/work/club, isn't necessarily your friend. It's nothing to get freak out over.
 

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And in another example I gave @BearRun, a guy I hung out with daily before didn't add me, but he added someone he barely talks to and sees. I don't get it...can you explain since you seem to not have any social media problems why people will add people they barely keep in touch with but not someone they actually hang out with?
 

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And in another example I gave @BearRun, a guy I hung out with daily before didn't add me, but he added someone he barely talks to and sees. I don't get it...can you explain since you seem to not have any social media problems why people will add people they barely keep in touch with but not someone they actually hang out with?
They have better content.
 

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It's not as if it were "social media" itself that had the value to make or break my relationship.. It would depend on the reasons for her actions and why that makes all the difference.




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They have better content.
How would you know the content if you don't add a person? @BearRun That doesn't fly. You can't tell what a person posts until you add someone on their page and this person has never added me to judge whether or not I have better content. I feel like you attempt to insult me in all your responses in some sort of indirect way. Again, you don't know me so I couldn't care less what you "think" of me, either way.

Do you think you're better than some people because you're accepted by the people you date or something?
 

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If they have an active presence on social media, I'd consider it a huge red flag. That indicates they're trying to hide something from me.

If someone just isn't a fan of social media and would reject anyone regardless of who it was...then I wouldn't care much. But I find that situation isn't as common.
 
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