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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I think I would definitely want to date myself. But maybe I would say to myself: Give me 6 months - We need to get ourselves out of this murky place that we both seem to be in right now, first. It would not be fair to us.

I wouldnt have wanted to date myself maybe ten years ago ... knew nothing then about communication and boundaries and connection.

But now: I would be very much attracted first of all to the balance and mutuality that our same-ness would create.
I would love to dive into the inner depth of my twin soul kind of SO.
I would love his sexuality!
I would love his smarts and openness. His vulnerability!
His sincerity.
I would love love love our fluid, ecstatic, quietly magical connection.
I would respect his integrity.
I would love his goofiness and random mischief.
I would love how free we are and devoted to each other at the same time.
 

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I would never have dated myself because neither of us would have ever spoken to the other in the first place, and if we did, we certainly would not have initiated any kind of "dating" relationship. We would have kept any and all romantic feelings to ourselves. (Not that we would have necessarily had romantic feelings for the other...)
 

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For me, It would probably be great in the short term, but doomed in the long. I think you always want someone that's similar enough to connect with, but different enough that they can both challenge and introduce you to new things. Sometimes it can be a great feeling to think "hey, I never thought of it that way before."
 

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Hah. No.

... *thinks for a few minutes* ...


Actually, maybe. I really don't know. One side thinks I know myself too well and both versions of me would be bored stiff or annoyed by the emotional ups and downs of the other. The other side of me thinks I'd have somebody to go do all the exploring that I crave with. Which is very appealing.

But really that's just me wanting to go exploring and other fun things. I probably wouldn't be interested in a relationship with myself, no.

What's the point of being with somebody exactly like yourself? I want somebody different. If I was somebody different, I might date the current version of me. lol.
 

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Oh I definitely would. And it would be great right up until it wasn't.

There'd be no one to put the brakes on when the melodramatic fascination with how everything is doomed cycles back around. I love to compromise, and compromising with your own doom always manifests itself as some kind of sacrifice which, while often enlightening to think about, is truly counterproductive to put into practice. Alas, she would share this impulse to unnecessary sacrifice, and we'd probably end up mutually agreeing to hurt each other.

But then again, between us we might have the collective self-awareness and discipline to better navigate that state of mind than I do alone.

Yeah... I'm actually doing it right now, aren't I. Realistically it would probably be an unequivocally good relationship, and yet here I am trying to find something negative to say about it. Compromising with doom... why do I do this. Doom should not be a valid object of my Fe.

--

Okay, positivity. We'd share the same priorities and so we'd want the relationship to grow in the same direction. For that matter, we as individuals would face very similar challenges and so we would grow in the same direction. That alone seems like a very solid basis for a relationship.

Ni-Fe is just sexy. Someone who arrives at accurate conclusions about your emotional needs? Yes? Who wouldn't want that? That's the main ingredient in feeling understood. Not to mention in indulging each other's aspirational Se... in all of its whims.

My female doppelganger would fully understand how I feel about space in a relationship. It isn't neglect. It isn't coldness. It isn't "taking a break from each other," because you're always with me even when you aren't. ISFJ and ISFP girls seem to go into a panic when I make some space for myself because I think they see literal closeness as the only guarantee in a relationship, the only measure of its stability. That drives me crazy! I feel much more trust and love in a relationship where we mutually understand that we have made an agreement to each other and we both have the integrity and honesty to not breach that bond behind each other's backs. "Out of sight, out of mind" is not a thing. Once we have bonded abstractly, no concrete amount of space can erode it.

That's enough indulgence of narcissism for today, lest I find myself admiring myself in mirrors. More than I already do, I mean.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
That's enough indulgence of narcissism for today, lest I find myself admiring myself in mirrors. More than I already do, I mean.
:laughing:

But seriously, could not discover any narcissism in your post.

... basically a standard for personal self-improvement for me is to be(come) the kind of person that I would love to date.
 

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Glad to see my sense of humor is appreciated. I was actually playing with the word, since it's based on Narcissus, who fell in love with himself.

... basically a standard for personal self-improvement for me is to be(come) the kind of person that I would love to date.
In all seriousness that's an admirable goal and I've always shared it. It never ceases to amaze me how often people seem uninspired by the idea... what's not to like!
 

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For me, It would probably be great in the short term, but doomed in the long. I think you always want someone that's similar enough to connect with, but different enough that they can both challenge and introduce you to new things. Sometimes it can be a great feeling to think "hey, I never thought of it that way before."
@Lad beat me to it, again. ;-)

Totally agreed with his assessment.
 

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SAY MY NAME
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What I look for most in others is that they are passionate about the same sorts of things that I am, or at least, can appreciate my passions without calling me weird. I have a very diverse range of interests and I am yet to meet anyone who can match that range or sets me sufficiently at ease to express myself and lets me talk about the things that are important to me. So yes, of course I would date myself. I'm perfect for myself. :laughing:

On the other hand, the great martyr Chandrashekhar Azad, who died not much older than what I am now; once said that the revolutionary can either be besotted with the nation or with a woman, and Azad practiced what he preached. If I want to change the world (and this is my greatest passion), perhaps I ought to take his words to heart. I can't find a woman worth a besotting anyway. The love of my life cannot be an individual, it must be the collective of humanity.
 

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Spam-I-am
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hell no, i'm a dick
but then again i could take myself out for a nice meal, movie and show
go out and get me drunk then maybe take myself home slip a rufy in my drink then take advantage of me
wake up the next morning feeling like a total slut/skank
actually it sounds pretty good
i'll have to ask myself out next week
 

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PerC Mermaid
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I would never date myself! Not in a million years. We would end up killing each other in a really passive agressive way.
 

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Only if me and my doppelganger turned our romance in to some sci-fi comedy that got us rich. Because we'd be so freaking weird, and broke, something like that might save our hides and make people see how amusing we really are without trying.
 

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Fu Dominant
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Nope.

1. I'm not gay.
2. It would be hella boring.
3. I look for different things in a partner than I provide myself.
4. I'm a 9w1. I have difficulty with preferences. I much prefer direction via another's help.
 

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Speaking personalitywise. So imagine yourself in the kind of body that you would find attractive (enough).

Would you want to date yourself? Why?
Assuming they were a completely different person but exactly the same in the way that they viewed/perceived the world, shared the same interests/passions, values, sense for adventure, search for knowledge while having the same type of standards/traits as a person and of people?

Yes, definitely 100% would.

Other Reasons:

  • I have some habits and high expectations that could border being OCD so having someone who is as hygienic and possibly organized is so much easier and less stressful.
  • Having the same type of expectations of love in a relationship; always being able to understand/appreciate each other and where they are coming from.
  • Being able to be content with each others quirks and finding bliss in soaking in each others company without having to say anything and it being comfortable.
  • Compatibility in our sex drives, desire for each others pleasure and mutual maintenance/satisfaction.
  • The friendship, respect, trust, honesty and loyalty.
  • The ability to dissect each other and motivate each other for growth.
  • The acceptance of each others baggage.
  • No need for drama. No privacy issues. No issues with regards to needing time alone.
  • We would just get each other.

I could probably go on and on but would most likely be repeating myself... Does this make me a narcissist?

IDGAF, I'm awesome!
 
for myself
 
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