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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey !
I wonder about something... I recently went to a dating site. Some european guy from an other country flashed on my profile. I flashed back on his. We had a 1/2 hour chat. Some webcam. He immediatly decided to fly to my place soon ( one hour and a half plane travel).... I was very surprised but we both clicked instantly. We share the very same values/ideas etc...
He seems very much to be intuitive (intellectual, phd student, big reader). We share the same ideas /outlook on life.He seems to be very organized. He describes himself as emotionnal and from the little I got from him, he very much seems to be... He is some sort of xNFJ. He reads a lot.... Could he be some sort of outgoing INFJ? Or an INFJ would never take such a quick decision to visit someone from an other country?
 

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I understand being impulsive & immediately clicking with someone...but whoa!

I'd possibly rethink my boundaries with others (which...btw...I have to actively do all of the time. Apparently I have none. :crazy: But still, WHOA!)
 

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Yes. I ould seriously not do this. I don't care how much you seem to click with him online, seeeriously be careful.
 

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No I would not do this. Though I would not be able to make a judgement if this indicates anything very bad about his personality. He certainly sounds impulsive.

This type of behavior is not restricted to personality type. I remember one ENTP who pulled this on me. And I remember an INFJ guy who was posting on this forum approximately the time that I joined who also was rushing into a series of unstable relationships. So hard to tell. He might be feeling adventurous but then he might also be unstable and simply looking for another person who can stabilize him and thus jumping from one relationship to another.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
You are very judgmental ! I live in a wonderful area he wants to visit. I am a wonderful smart young beautiful woman ! He has the possibility to come now or much later. I told him he could come now. He's going to stay outside of my place... He knows it. He is handsome (very), intelligent (very).He likes women from my country because they are supposed to be feminine and charming. I want to know more... I would regret not to.
Beside it's a christian website ...
 

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You are very judgmental ! I live in a wonderful area he wants to visit. I am a wonderful smart young beautiful woman ! He has the possibility to come now or much later. I told him he could come now. He's going to stay outside of my place... He knows it. He is handsome (very), intelligent (very).He likes women from my country because they are supposed to be feminine and charming. I want to know more... I would regret not to.
Beside it's a christian website ...
Not to be too anti-Christ, but that last part actually makes me feel worse about the situation.

Well, you asked for our opinion, so of course we're going to sound abit judgmental.

Let him fly over and do what he wants. Just keep us informed, k?

I mean, I want to know if we're right or not. ;)
 

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All I can say is be very careful. Stay totally in the public eye. Don't go anywhere with him that you will be alone together. Have your cell phone handy. I am sure you probably have already thought of all this. I just needed to say it.

Good Luck to you!
 

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My brother met his girlfriend online. They chatted to each other for 4 years and then one day they arranged to meet each other. She actually travelled 9 hours on a train, met my brother at night time in the middle of nowhere (we lived in the middle of nowhere!) and came back to the house with him. My mum and I were on holiday at the time and had no idea that this meeting happened until he told us a few months later...

They are still together and take turns going up and down the country to see each other!

I was so surprised that she took that risk! I would not doing anything like that, even if I had been chatting to the person online for several years!
 

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Or an INFJ would never take such a quick decision to visit someone from an other country?
Well, I know I wouldn't but...

Okay, you say he's from Europe? Are you in another European country or what? Did he fly using Ryanair? Because seriously a 1 1/2 hour flight on Ryanair costs you like 12 bucks, in which case all of this sounds very less dramatic.
 

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Sounds like my INTJ friend. I knew an INTJ that got married this way- flew over to meet after a few chats/webcams of clicking. Most of my INTJ friends are in favor of online dating. Get straight to business.
 

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I live in Michigan and my previous LD SO lived in New York at the time. Yes, he was an INFJ, and yes, he would've driven to visit me straight away if it weren't for the fact that he was job hunting to find the funds for the hotel, car rental, stuff to make my birthday super extra special, etc.

It would've sounded dodgy to anyone looking at it from the outside, though: 24-year-old meeting up in a hotel room with someone who just turned 16... HMMM. But I had other reasons for not doing it.

He was the epitome of dedication.

:sad:
 

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bring a friend when you meet him and do it in a public place
 

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I guess it depends on your view of people and how well you feel you know that person. I am a very risk averse person, I don't think i could ever do this. But I can see a few of my friends doing it.
 

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oh i agree on the risk averse thing, but none of this sounds too dodgy/dramatic to me. Just go for a cup of coffee at a cafe or something. if it doesn't feel right, you can always leave safely as it is a public place. bringing a friend seems a bit over the top though. You're indicating straight up that you don't trust this person, which might not be such a good way to meet someone you may be in a relationship with. You can also tell that person to show up at a certain time, and you can just stake out the place before and observe him before going to meet him. if he looks like a creeper, than just leave.

I personally think this is xNTJ behavior -- especially with ENTJs, they are straightforward when they like someone, and like to get started on the courting directly "I like you, you like me, we click, let's date."
 

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Hey !
I wonder about something... I recently went to a dating site. Some european guy from an other country flashed on my profile. I flashed back on his. We had a 1/2 hour chat. Some webcam. He immediatly decided to fly to my place soon ( one hour and a half plane travel).... I was very surprised but we both clicked instantly. We share the very same values/ideas etc...

He seems very much to be intuitive (intellectual, phd student, big reader). We share the same ideas /outlook on life.He seems to be very organized. He describes himself as emotionnal and from the little I got from him, he very much seems to be... He is some sort of xNFJ. He reads a lot.... Could he be some sort of outgoing INFJ? Or an INFJ would never take such a quick decision to visit someone from an other country?
Well first things first... let's help type this mystery guy for you... :D

Confusion about the E-

It's certainly possible that he's an INFJ. INFJs can almost come off as E-types sometimes. I'm that way... a lot of people I know think I'm an extrovert, but I would die without my recharge times. (INFJs can develop great people skills because we can read people and empathize well)

Some identifiers

-Is he more passionate than most about his ideals? (INFJs are often activists and believe in their causes quite strongly, because we feel emotionally invested in them)
-Is he a man who considers himself to be very ethical? Ethics and doing the right thing is generally very important to INFJs.
-INFJs tend to have very deep and creative (Often quite philosophical) outlooks on life. And say things like "I love stargazing." or "The leaves are amazing during fall."
-When he is empathizing with you, do you see looks of genuine concern on his face?

Look at his eyes...

-Does he sometimes disappear into thought where his eyes get distant and a serious/cold expression crosses his face. (INFJs in deep thought can be naturally confused for people who are sad or distraught)
-Does he sometimes stare into the webcam kind of seriously, as if he is analyzing you?

These things would be the biggest indicators.

Now as it comes to whether or not I am alarmed by a dude flying over an hour for a first date with a chick he just met...

My biggest question... is why is he in such a rush? Before making this investment why isn't he checking to make sure you guys really do click.

Well let's just say I've been ready to drive a 12 hour journey into the Missouri Ozarks for a woman once. Another time, I almost caught a flight to Croatia. Of course far more flirtation had been going on... and well...

I was more idealistic then... but if I really connected with a woman again... maybe I'd go for it. It's just a helpless romanticism for me...

But hell. This guy might not be an INFJ, and he might be a serial rapist. I couldn't tell you. But good luck. :wink:
 
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