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Eh. When I pursue someone I want to know the in and outs of their in and outs. I mean, it seems like you've thoroughly gotten to know each other, much like meeting and talking to a stranger in a coffee shop, but still I think having prolonged interaction with someone online is a helpful aid. You've chatted with him hardly at all, despite connecting, but still I think you should pick up on his regular day to day mood and attitude about things. This only really comes with prolonged webcam talking; less vague than text and more in your face what he's like from day to day. Maybe after a month or two in the minimum of speaking with him on webcam would I arrange to meet him in person. Again, interacting and trying to experience him as much as possible within the realm of internet access is key.
 

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Discussion Starter · #22 ·
Well, I know I wouldn't but...

Okay, you say he's from Europe? Are you in another European country or what? Did he fly using Ryanair? Because seriously a 1 1/2 hour flight on Ryanair costs you like 12 bucks, in which case all of this sounds very less dramatic.
Yes ! You got it ! It costs nothing, he visits my area and we both live in europe !
 

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Discussion Starter · #23 · (Edited)
oh i agree on the risk averse thing, but none of this sounds too dodgy/dramatic to me. Just go for a cup of coffee at a cafe or something. if it doesn't feel right, you can always leave safely as it is a public place. bringing a friend seems a bit over the top though. You're indicating straight up that you don't trust this person, which might not be such a good way to meet someone you may be in a relationship with. You can also tell that person to show up at a certain time, and you can just stake out the place before and observe him before going to meet him. if he looks like a creeper, than just leave.

I personally think this is xNTJ behavior -- especially with ENTJs, they are straightforward when they like someone, and like to get started on the courting directly "I like you, you like me, we click, let's date."

Yes i thought he could be some xNTJ. He describes himself as "serious minded" and I felt someone who loves thinking about serious things (politics etc...) But on the "type of person" description on this site he chosed "emotionnal" over "laid-back" "people-person" "go-getter" "intense" "thinker-quiet". Emotionnal doesn't sound very NT. Aldo he made a lot of compliments on me (you seem to be so pretty, so smart... etc... I very much like what you wrote on your profile). This is not very NT neither.
 

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Discussion Starter · #24 ·
Well first things first... let's help type this mystery guy for you... :D

Confusion about the E-

It's certainly possible that he's an INFJ. INFJs can almost come off as E-types sometimes. I'm that way... a lot of people I know think I'm an extrovert, but I would die without my recharge times. (INFJs can develop great people skills because we can read people and empathize well)

Some identifiers

-Is he more passionate than most about his ideals? (INFJs are often activists and believe in their causes quite strongly, because we feel emotionally invested in them)
-Is he a man who considers himself to be very ethical? Ethics and doing the right thing is generally very important to INFJs.
-INFJs tend to have very deep and creative (Often quite philosophical) outlooks on life. And say things like "I love stargazing." or "The leaves are amazing during fall."
-When he is empathizing with you, do you see looks of genuine concern on his face?

Look at his eyes...

-Does he sometimes disappear into thought where his eyes get distant and a serious/cold expression crosses his face. (INFJs in deep thought can be naturally confused for people who are sad or distraught)
-Does he sometimes stare into the webcam kind of seriously, as if he is analyzing you?

These things would be the biggest indicators.

Now as it comes to whether or not I am alarmed by a dude flying over an hour for a first date with a chick he just met...

My biggest question... is why is he in such a rush? Before making this investment why isn't he checking to make sure you guys really do click.

Well let's just say I've been ready to drive a 12 hour journey into the Missouri Ozarks for a woman once. Another time, I almost caught a flight to Croatia. Of course far more flirtation had been going on... and well...

I was more idealistic then... but if I really connected with a woman again... maybe I'd go for it. It's just a helpless romanticism for me...

But hell. This guy might not be an INFJ, and he might be a serial rapist. I couldn't tell you. But good luck. :wink:
Hey thanks for trying to type him ! I appreciate !
The identifiers sound very much like his facebook account (which is full of friends -he is not a lonely guy- and filled with pictures of a very smiling guy)

And then about the rush, as the previous person said, it costs really not much with the company he's flying and that about one hour flight. Also, he LOVES the moutains and hiking. I live in the right area for that. And also he's starting his semester in 2 weeks (phd student+ lecturer). So he wanted to meet up before. Since then I leave for a few weeks to the US and then he can't before 1 month after so it"s going to make us use webcam for 3/4 monthes before seeing each other
 

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NTs can also be very emotional. ENTJs tend to be very nostalgic. And just keep in mind that "T" does not mean that a person does not have emotions or are emotional. They feel the same things we do, but act on their rational thoughts. Just like I am a "F," I consider myself thoughtful and think carefully about everything. However, often heart wins over mind. so is your post asking us to help you figure his type out more?
 

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Discussion Starter · #28 ·
Ok thank you !! Now I see why you guys are called "the protectors" ! You really are ! Of course I'll tell you how it goes.... and if he doesn't change his mind in between ! ahah
 

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Discussion Starter · #30 ·
His status are either sarcasctic comments on something, or citations on something he read (most of his reading seem to be philosophical/theological) or about something funny that happened to him. He gets quite many feed -backs to his comments...
 

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Discussion Starter · #32 ·
Really !!! Wooooooooooow ! I GOT MY INTJ !!! I definitely should meet with him then !! :)


(he has a very dry sense of humour i like very much ... also INTJ?)
 

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Discussion Starter · #33 ·
On his pictures : always clean, well-dressed, good clothes taste (classy and trendy but still yet uncomplicated), nice hair-dress.... Are you sure, this is INTJ ? ahahaha
 

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On his pictures : always clean, well-dressed, good clothes taste (classy and trendy but still yet uncomplicated), nice hair-dress.... Are you sure, this is INTJ ? ahahaha
I don't agree with Curious on this one.

A lot of male INFJs are INFJ/INTJ hybrids, because male society doesn't value emotionalism. But these hybrids are very much INFJs at their core.

My best friend is an INTJ, and yes, he's very sarcastic, but he values rationalism and looks down on emotion-based intuitions and decisions. I have a hard time seeing your guy as an INTJ. And I hope your guy isn't an INTJ, because I love my best friend, but he can be such a dick. I hope your guy is an INFJ because INFJs are very devoted, sympathetic, and caring lovers.

Ok thank you !! Now I see why you guys are called "the protectors" ! You really are ! Of course I'll tell you how it goes.... and if he doesn't change his mind in between ! ahah
We really are awesome, it's true :proud:
 

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...Aldo he made a lot of compliments on me (you seem to be so pretty, so smart... etc... I very much like what you wrote on your profile). This is not very NT neither.
ENTP guys actually do this - give a lot of compliments. Not so common for INTJs and INTPs. Sarcasm is preferred form of humor of TeFi-types like INTJs and ENTJs.

also there is no such thing as INFJ/INTJ hybrid as INFJs by layout of cognitive functions would have very weak sense of Te - most commonly INFJs confuse their Ti thinking ability for Te thinking but these are very different
 

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INFJs by layout of cognitive functions would have very weak sense of Te - most commonly INFJs confuse their Ti thinking ability for Te thinking but these are very different
haha, good call, Vel. I still haven't quite figured this system out yet. :laughing:

I know it's off topic, but what's the main difference between Te and Ti so I don't screw up again?
 

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Callie,

To me it seems like you already have your heart set on the adventure ahead, and are curious. there are many dangers involved in this situation. i don't feel that you all have communicated long enough to get to know him. he could just be a spontaenous, impulsive kind of person. if you'd like to go out to find out more about him, then give it a try. but don't move too quickly, because this person seems like a fast mover.

to be honest a lot of men may be looking for short-term affairs online. i'm not certain what you all were talking about and the nature of the conversation. i would be incredibly suspicious, but don't let suspicions dull impromptu fun. i wouldn't keep my hopes up, because people in chat may be very different in person. he could be wanting a quick assessment of your personality too, so that he can move on. there could be many reasons for him moving so rapidly. Let us know what you decide, and what happens, as a follow-up. but for goodness sakes, be incredibly careful, let someone know where you are going, and meet in a public place etc...you know, i won't repeat myself and what other INFJs are saying, but take your safety seriously.

may I ask how old are you both? where in Europe are you situated? Is this type of behavior common where you live? Perhaps this is a cultural thing - I know in Canada and north america there may be more of a cool distance between people in initial interactions, whereas Europeans can be a lot more friendly. Just another idea, I am thowing in here. Has anyone on PerC here did something like what Callie is thinking of doing? What happened? This may be nice to talk about too. I am no stranger to impulsive behavior, I behaved quite spontaneously when I was younger. Not any more though.

To address the last part of your question - I cannot speak on behalf of male INFJs though, they seem quite cautious about opening up their hearts. This jump on a plane stuff doesn't seem too INFJ. However if totally 'in love' they'd likely do anything, I gather. Your situation seems more in a casual stage. But as a Female INFJ, I am totally impulsive sometimes (especially when it comes to Love), it surprises people a lot.
 
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I cannot speak on behalf of male INFJs though, they seem quite cautious about opening up their hearts. This jump on a plane stuff doesn't seem too INFJ.

^Yeah, this is what convinces me this person isn't INFJ. most of the other infj's on this thread so far have seemed to go along the lines of 'i wouldn't do that.' I really can't tell what this person is except what has been told us already, and it's just my guess that he might be an INTJ because i've had intj friends that were like this, but i don't have any burning desire/demand to prove that he is INTJ or anything. i would just say make sure you arrange the ins and outs of the situation when you meet, so you can exit safely if the meeting turns out bad.
 

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I cannot speak on behalf of male INFJs though, they seem quite cautious about opening up their hearts. This jump on a plane stuff doesn't seem too INFJ.
I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Why hesitate and miss a window of opportunity? Love is for keeps... and contrary to popular belief, opportunities to love slip through our fingers every day.

Sometimes two people just click and there aren't words to express it. It just happens. Even so, it'd be safe to have one of your bigger male friends keep an eye on you for a bit from afar (to make sure this guy isn't a creep).
 
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