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Discussion Starter #1
Hello everybody!


I’m coming in here to ask for your help concerning my enneagram. I’m mainly stuck between 1 and 8, after a few months reading about the subject, but I’m open to any suggestion.
Two of my close friends told me I was an 8.
I identify with both of them, 1 more internally but I feel that my actions are a bit more 8.
MBTI-wise, I’m pretty sure that I’m an ENFP. I thought for a while that I was an enneagram 7, but that would make me a very stereotypical ENFP, which I know I’m not.
Here’s a link to the subject where I asked for help about my mbti, if that’s of any help: Hello there! Can you help me please?

(I also chose the questionnaire I thought was the most fun)

1. How would an author describe you in a book? Write the paragraph that would introduce you in a novel.

People often tell me I seem very serious and calm at first glance, but that I come as much more energetic and kinda dorky when they know me. I hear that I have a very stubborn, bulldozer-y kind of personality.

2. Think over the past day or week and make a mental list (you can also write it here) of ways other people have annoyed, angered, or otherwise bothered you - any situation where people have done one thing, while you wished they would have done another. Look at each of these instances and answer (you can make a list or make note of general patterns - an example is good):

I have been very angry the past week, but luckily there was a common theme.

a. How would I characterize the trait that bothered me? Voluntary and shown ignorance of a serious problem that needs a quick fix. Ignorance of our (my promotion) claims. Also the many students that said nothing and didn’t act.

b. Why did it bother me? It’s a symptom of a general disrespect towards the students of my faculty, and it’s only an addition to a long list.

c. How did I react? I actually was the first student to be vocal about the problem (and it’s not a first). Being revendicative for a group is something I feel at ease with and do naturally.

d. How do I wish I would have reacted? I acted as I wished I did on that particular matter.


3. What holds you back in life? This can be an internal or external force. If that thing were gone, what would be different? What would you do?

I think it would be my tendency to dwell on my regrets (if I didn’t act or said things as I wished I would). I can feel guilt and remorse very intensely and for a long period of time for quite minor (and forgiven) things.

I also am a big perfectionist.

4. Your deepest secret has just been revealed to the person or people from whom you most wished to keep it. How do you feel? How do you react? What are the results on your life?

I don’t have many secrets, and the only one I can think of is quite minor and not that shameful. I think I would feel quite relieved that the secret has been revealed and I would own it and accept my fate.

Generally speaking I don’t keep secrets as I don’t feel comfortable having them.

5. You are offered one of three gifts: a bottle filled with water from the Fountain of Life, a crown which will give you peaceful dominion over the world's people for your entire (full) lifetime, and a ring which will unite you with your true love and ensure a happy, passionate marriage. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?

I have no care for immortality as according to my beliefs human souls are already immortal, and I think that being mortal gives you freedom towards the material world.
I don’t want the burden of governing the world.
Being united with my true love is on the contrary something I deeply wish, since I’m a child. I tend to be quite passionate but I don’t have any more reason behind it, as I am quite the independent actually.

6. You are offered one of three houses. The first is located in a big city and has historic and artistic value: it was designed by a great architect and was owned by interesting people in the past. Owning this house is very prestigious and guarantees you social status and a circle of friends, but it also comes with responsibility - you must keep the house up to code, manage the household, and give parties and events. The second house you may design using your imagination - literally your dream house - it is located in a very secluded location and no one is allowed to visit this house except you and your immediate family. The third house is very nice, but has no particular aesthetic appeal - a McMansion in short. It is in an extremely convenient location and is very secure. It is impossible for thieves to break in and it has no danger of natural disasters. You are guaranteed to be able to sell the house for double the price in twenty years. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?

I have absolutely no appeal for the McMansion.

I would hesitate with the second house, because having the perfect house for oneself is very appealing, but my final choice is the first house.

As an extravert, I love living in a big city, having a large circle of friends and attending events. I especially like having “special events” from time to time. I also feel at ease with responsibilities, I need to keep myself busy to be happy.

I must say that I’m not against a social status but that’s quite minor, I would rather fight for what I believe in than keep a status.

7. You are offered one of three doors. The first opens to a world that is dangerous and demands mental or physical skill to navigate through, but also has great rewards to be gained: think of the worlds portrayed on the shows Game of Thrones or Supernatural. The second opens to a world that is full of wonders, magic, and knowledge, which can be learned or experienced, but there is little solid resting ground - think of the worlds portrayed in the shows Doctor Who or in the multi-media phenomenon A Hitchkiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The third opens to a world where you may experience a life of peaceful, uneventful poverty - think of the hobbits in the series Lord of the Rings or most of the animals living in Narnia. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?

I would choose the 2nd one, as I’m very prone to boredom.
I love wonder and magic but I need some sense of accomplishment at the end.
My favorite kind of worlds are the ones of Star Wars and the Lord of the Rings, with adventure and excitement but where the protagonists are implementing a real change in their world and find serenity afterwards.
I didn’t choose the first door because I felt like the reward gained was purely individualistic. I don’t really know Supernatural but Game of Thrones is a really dark story, and I’m an optimist at heart, and quite an idealist.

8. What do you wish people understood about you? Talk about a time you were misunderstood.

It’s a very frequent situation, people often tell me that I have a very peculiar way of thinking. I’m used to explain how and why I think things.
I like to keep a little share of mystery, and I think it’s impossible to totally understand someone, it’s normal.

9. What do you hope people won't notice about you? What are you uncomfortable being teased about?

I’m very uncomfortable about my past mistakes, things I’ve done wrong, times of weakness (emotionally or physically), and people I’ve let down for these weaknesses.

10. What's worse - to be seen as caring more than you do or less than you do? Why? Do you think you come across one way or the other? Do you typically pretend to care more or to care less?

Definitely be seen caring less than I do! I’m a very committed and passionate person, and I hate that people would think that I don’t care.

11. Think about a time that someone else tried to control your actions - to tell you what to do, to manipulate you, or influence you. How did you feel and how did you react? What went through your mind?

I felt trapped, and I can react quite strongly to find my freedom back. I don’t like the idea of being the puppet of someone.

12. When you first meet someone, what are your first thoughts? What judgments do you make and what kinds of considerations do you have? Are you more concerned with what they think of you or what you think of them? If you are preparing to meet someone new, what do you hope about them and what do you fear about them?

I don’t over analyze people, and I’m mostly concerned with what they think of me, mostly if I acted the right way and didn’t hurt anybody's feelings.
When I meet someone new I’m generally happy and spontaneous. I fear more the 2nd encounter than the first, because on the first encounter you’re like “a blank page” to which you can’t reproach anything.

13. Think about the last time you cried (if you've recently lost a loved one or gone through another similarly difficult experience, you can go back further and choose a random instance). What caused this? Who was around? Were you crying out of sadness, joy, frustration, or some other factor? How did you feel afterwards? Did it change anything? Is this typical for you?

I mostly cry when I’m with my close family. The last time was out of frustration and tiredness (see question 2), because I’m under a very heavy workload these times. (I have a really big competitive exam next week)

14. Think about the last time you felt really happy, joyful, or satisfied. What caused this feeling? What was different? What keeps you from feeling this way all the time?

Anytime I see my friends and/or can do sports. I really like that kind of joyful serenity to be surrounded by loved ones and doing a simple activity (eating, playing board games…).

15. If you were a tragic hero, what would be your fatal flaw? If you were a character in a comedy, what would be your distinguishing trait (i.e. stingy with money, fastidious, shallow, pretentious, etc.) Do you think others would agree with these?

Probably wanting to do too many things and dying of exhaustion eheh. I can also be subject to very strong anger.
In a comedy, I would be the one with the weirdest ideas (like Phoebe in Friends), but that’s maybe the ENFP speaking.

16. Think over the past day or week and make a mental list (you can also write it here) of ways that you have done badly - by yourself, by others, etc. - any time that you have done something, and wish you would have done better. How would you characterize these instances? What caused you to fail and what was your reaction? Are you more likely to be hard on yourself or to find excuses for yourself?

I don’t really have an explanation of how or why I fail in general, sometimes it’s out of tiredness, sometimes out of bluntness or because I wasn’t paying enough attention. I always try to make up for what I’ve done wrong, or at least apologize deeply. I’m generally really hard on myself. I’m the kind of person prone to replay a scene again and again when I should be sleeping to find how or if I did something wrong. I can feel guilty for something for quite a long time. I don’t know if it’s a character trait or if it’s anxiety (which I’m prone to).

17. a. Imagine meeting an evil version of yourself - your 'dark side' - and describe this person.

I do role play games, and when I am to play an evil or chaotic character it’s generally a character prone to destruction through wrath. The kind that would burn everything down, not in a subtle way.

b. Describe your ideal self.

Someone strong and wise, who would make a good support or leader for its community. I tend to look up to strong female characters (Princess Leia was a huge inspiration for me during my childhood, and still is).

18. What is your experience with and how do you deal with the following:

a. Loneliness

I hate loneliness, actually one of my deepest fears is to be abandoned by all my loved ones, due to a failure of mine, or due to life in general. I have no trouble making friends, but I fear that they would stop to love me all of the sudden.

b. Doubt

I have strong intuitions, but I tend to not listen to them. So when in doubt, I tend to listen to other’s advice to see what fits my intuitions the best.

c. boredom

It makes me shift to intense daydreaming, I can almost ignore my surroundings in that case. Actually, I spent most of my childhood daydreaming.

d. Laziness

I must confess that I tend to not like that trait in others.

e. Temper

I tend to express it, but it takes a lot to make me angry. I’m okay with a lot of things and I think I’m quite agreeable and calm, until it’s too much and I get angry for quite a long time. If I’m unable to solve the problem, I go for a run to calm me down.
I’m a very calm, almost discreet person, but I have been known to be very intense in my emotions (anger, love) and my debates and arguments.

19. Which of the 'seven deadly sins' - pride, wrath, sloth, envy, lust, gluttony, avarice - do you relate to most and why? Which do you relate to least and why? Feel free to go into depth about these.

I relate the most to anger, because it’s the one I feel the most. I don’t relate to avarice, I’m not really prone to accumulate a lot of things, and I’m content with simple things as long as I feel that I’m on the way to fulfill my purpose in life.

20. Link a song you relate to and explain why.

You Make my Dreams - Daryl Hall & John Oates

My roommate says that I have the same vibe as this song, and it’s actually making me quite happy.

Thank you for the time spent reading all that message!
 

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Hi! I'm an sx1 and I had the same problem as u when I first learn about the Enneagram. I don't know how accurate this questionnaire is so I will recommend you to read Character & Neurosis from Claudio Naranjo and The Complete Enneagram from Beatrice Chestnut. I read everything due to me being scared that I judge myself wrongly, but if you r not willing, then read the ones about 1s and 8s first from Character & Neurosis. If you feel like the description didn't get you, then you may be another type. Get as in like, you feel like you r understood, or you finally understand why u did certain things through the description. Reading The Complete Enneagram should be able to explain why you confuse yourself between type 8 and 1. I personally am more inclined to think that u r a 1 thru the questionnaire but don't be influenced by my judgement. N I can't promise the accuracy of my judgement cos I'm not a 8. Good luck!
 

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Thank you for your answer @Glad !
The more I read the more I begin to think that I'm indeed an 1, maybe an 1w2.
Thank you for your book recommendations!
 
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