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If Izzie is in that situation

  • You're a dumbass, you should love that person

    Votes: 2 22.2%
  • One day you might regret losing him!

    Votes: 3 33.3%
  • Follow your heart. You can't love someone just because he loves you

    Votes: 2 22.2%
  • *Dreams off into INFP land* Don't care

    Votes: 2 22.2%
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
If you have a friend who (even though that person hasn't said 'love' but you feel that person loves you very much):

  • Loves you a lot without expecting too much from you. You can be just silent, and stressed over how life has turned out (too stressed to do anything), and that person loves you.
  • Loves you even when you're usually only just friendly to that person.
  • Loves you even though you keep complaining about other people in your life.
  • Loves you without being too needy and without any overly lovey dovey stuff.
  • Loves you enough to protect you without you asking for it.

Will you love that person back or give that person a chance?





If hypothetically (hah), it was me in that situation would you say to me

1. Izzie, you're a dumb ass, you should love that kind of person.
2. One day, you're going to regret losing him. *Background song,''you gonna miss my lovin'' plays melodramatically in the background*
3. Follow your heart and intuition, you can't love someone just because that person loves you.
4. Sounds like a nice fairy tale..I'll be off now in my INFP world and write a story *Dreams off*
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I know, but polls make it all interesting. I want to see how many people would write,''don't care, I'm off to dream land'' HAHAHAHAHHA
 

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Sounds like you just described a generally good -parent-.

Would I love them? Depends on the kind of love.

Loves you a lot without expecting too much from you. You can be just silent, and stressed over how life has turned out (too stressed to do anything), and that person loves you.
I kind of prefer people that will push me harder, so I like expectations (to an extent). Also, I generally want someone who can bring me out of my shell. I only shell up because I don't think other people are capable of understanding or maybe even caring. I don't -actually- want to hide myself though.

As for the rest, it really depends on what I (or you) reciprocate back to them. I prefer relationships (friend or otherwise) to be of mutual benefit to both people. I never want to lean on someone when they don't -actually- need me. You didn't quite mention what you do for them, so I'm a little up in the air on how to respond.

So it all depends :D.
 

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I can't control whether I love someone or not, but when making choices, I usually think about all of the consequences. For example: what would happen if you did give that person a chance? If giving that person a chance means so much to you that, regardless of what happens, you'd still want to, then go for it.

However, you seem unsure, so I'm voting for the off to dreamland option.
 
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Yes I am unsure..I think I shouldn't confuse my duty as a friend with feelings that might be 'love' :frustrating: I might not be able to actually like him that way enough. I guess I am kind of driven by this 'I don't want to hurt him' feeling too which actually comes from a place of caring about him very much as a friend.

As for what I've done for him, I think I make him an even more easygoing person than he actually is, I am usually more expressive than him and he feels more at ease with me than with most people.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I don't know, I care too much about friends who are EXCEPTIONALLY CLOSE, sometimes it becomes a flaw because I don't allow them to fall, but then some people say if you care about someone, you have to let him/her fall every once in a while. Heh. Sucks.
 

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I know I've said it several times, but truly, you cannot force yourself to love a person just because they love you. If you cannot meet, or at least come close to meeting them, at the same level of intensity or desire that they are at, then you will be setting yourself and your relationship up for failure. Your friend will eventually figure out that you're still dreaming of something more, that you're content or happy, but that your heart is still searching even if your mind is okay with how things are. Be supportive, love them as much as you can, and encourage them to find the person who will not only make them happy, but who will also be just as happy to be with them. The greatest heart break is unreconciled love, especially when you know the other person is trying, but unable to reach you. You don't want to do that to your friend, not if you well and truly care for him.

But, all that is just my opinion. Each person is different and maybe you are capable of growing to love your friend to the same degree that he loves you. I was recently given advice to be gentle, at the very least, when letting someone down for that very reason. It is bad enough to leave that love unreconciled, but far, far worse to lead him on, to give him hope.

Good luck figuring out what is best for you and your friend.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
fae, thank you, those are timeless pearls of wisdom you've spoken.

I guess I just care too much about any potential hurt that I might inflict, I should listen more closely to another part of my heart too. Argh. I must stop making that mistake of not trusting myself enough.
 
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