For context: My friends (INFJ and ISFP) and I were playing a game when this choice came up and voted on different answers. They both chose to forget themselves while I chose to forget everyone else around me. The INFJ's reasoning was that people shape who you are and friends can help you learn who you once were.
I don't exactly agree with that though, as friends can't know everything about oneself and it's quite a burdensome task to leave to others. Self identity is what I make it to be. I can't imagine how frustrating it would be to learn who I am from everyone except myself.
Not only that, but people can be fickle and I would imagine most won't be comfortable with helping people going through such personal affairs. It also opens you up to vulnerabilites - if someone was to manipulate and lie to me by making me believe I did xyz I might actually believe it to a point of extreme inner turmoil. Ultimately, at the end of the day your the one stuck with yourself.
I'm super curious as to what you guys might think!
It is more intriguing when you forget who you are. You start rediscovering, reimagining yourself in the process of remembering. Potentially achieving therapeutic effects by cutting out old traumas.
But when you forget everyone else it just gets very annoying. You are now alone and there is a bunch of strangers that want something to do with you. Bonds are much harder to re-develop.
It makes me think of a sentence that looks like "Every soul isn't here to make you happy nor to make you feel more in touch with what truly matters to you. Some people will test you, humiliate you, seduce you, harm you, challenge you and so on". Very few people can mirror your inner search.
Which is normal as they are busy looking at theirs...
I start thinking it is reassuring being seen as selfish, mainly when you know deep down it isn't your main intention, nevertheless knowing you can be, which is quite different.
If I forgot myself that'd mean starting fresh. Like being reborn. So many opportunities to develop, without having to rewire the old conditioning and beliefs. And if I eventually start remembering but turns out I became something different - is that truly a problem?
I don't think there's much to discover in oneself - it's more to do with building character than finding. I guess for others forgetting oneself seems more liberating than restraining. For me it's more of an issue of an identity crisis. That I would go by life without knowing or understanding my past actions, my values, and reasons for living. People come and go. People that are by my side as of now can choose to stay or leave and I wouldn't think much of it if I didn't know them. They're free to go wherever. If they would like to stay, I would be able to use my own judgement and decide for myself whether they were genuine close friends. I may be lonely at first but as long as I have myself to count on I can pull through anything.
Quite a good question, I’d say. There is no way I could navigate anything if I had to trust others over myself. If I’m myself then I would know how to reestablish friendships with who I found I liked and trusted. I’d have everything back that is “true” quickly enough. When you know yourself you can go anywhere and be with any people and still know who you are, relying on your own judgement. In other words, I could do this now by going to live in a different place and I would still have what I need to rely on, which is my own judgement. If I forgot myself I’d have nothing at all. Of course I’ve never depended on other people in that way...to make me who I am, they have practically nothing to do with that. I would have to get to my third function in order to depend on others for any of their thoughts on anything. I just don’t make decisions based on the thought process of others at all. I have to understand what affects their well being on my own terms when I make decisions thinking of others. For creating relationships I depend on my own judgement first for sure and then the other person can accept me or not, but I have to accept them first. Basically, it would take years and years to rebuild my own judgement, but if I’m myself I can re-establish everything good.
Of course this is an Fi and Fe question... and a TI and Te question, I guess a better way to say it is a P or.a J question. Quite a good one, I’d say. There is no way I could navigate anything if I had to trust others over myself. If I’m myself then I would know how to reestablish friendships with who I found I liked and trusted. I’d have everything back that is “true” quickly enough. When you know yourself you can go anywhere and be with any people and still know who you are, relying on my own judgement. In other words, I could do this now by going to live in a different place and I would still have what I need to rely on, which is my own judgement. If I forgot myself I’d have nothing at all. Of course I’ve never depended on other people in that way...to make me who I am, they have practically nothing to do with that. I would have to get to my third function in order to depend on others for any of their thoughts on anything. I just don’t make decisions based on the thought process of others at all. I have to understand what affects their well being on my own terms when I make decisions thinking of others. For creating relationships I depend on my own judgement first for sure and then the other person can accept me or not, but I have to accept them first. Basically, it would take years and years to rebuild my own judgement, but if I’m myself I can re-establish everything good.
That’s an interesting question. It opens up perspectives...
Most of my self-development leaps consisted on recreating my sense of self. Letting go of the past to welcome the present and future me.
So I’d rather forget who I am. I don’t need to have a vision of who I was — to be who I am. Actually, ditching the vision I have of myself would be liberating.
Also, I do not want to forget the people around me. My relationships are good and deep. Everyone gave, and are still giving me a lot. It took me long to build these connections and my current life. I love it as it is and don’t wish for big changes for the moment.
However, I admit that these connections are sometimes felt as sweet shackles. If I was to forget about it, I’d be more ready to welcome a different path without having to feel the pain of separation. Maybe I would even rediscover my world in a different lens. It would be completely new and exciting.
Thinking about it makes me want to rediscover the people around me. Maybe I should ditch the preconceived vision I have, and try to discover them again. As if I didn’t know any of their past, as if they were brand new.
I’ll think about all this deeper... I’m sure it’ll give me interesting inspirations that will have a huge positive impact on my life. Thank you a lot for the idea.
Obviously forget everyone else, all my wealth and money requires me to remember who I am, my info and passwords etc... forgetting who I am is like losing my entire networth.
Forget others. One reason, I don’t last long in others company usually no longer than a year than I’m off meeting or doing or learning something new.
I worked too damn hard on myself ( the one I truly have control over) and I really do like who I am. One of my biggest fear is getting Alzheimer. im ok not believing there isn’t an afterlife/heaven, it seem foolish that our ego survives death, I can let it all go In death.
in life I can’t image being someone else ...becoming who I am well...it’s been tough but completely rewarding, I’m very proud of the type of person I am. I don’t want all that to be in vain. Don’t want The chance of becoming everything I hate...
My identity is very, very important to me. However, I wouldn't stand forgetting everyone else: my friends, my family... Forgetting them is one thing, but in addition what I fear is forgetting all the small moments that made me happy. Going out to explore places with my cousins when I was 9-10 (and comingback home with bruised all over because we were reckless), admitting my first ever crush to my best friend (embarassing!), making my little brother laugh... I can't forget all that. I can find/build myself again, like a child. Experiences make the person, no? Or maybe we're born that way? I'll think about it. So let's restart self discovery, I guess.
Plus, if I forget myself, I can discover everything about myself again and the world, everything would feel NEW. I love that feeling when discovering something about myself or the world. At least I won't be bored!
As an INFP who values her individuality like crazy, like the person above my post, I never thought I'd choose "forget myself".
Myself. I don’t even really know who I am nor do I care to anymore, I guess. It’s not super important to me because it always changes. It almost feels limiting to trap myself under a certain “identity”. INFJ.
This thread is a good reminder to make sure I’m showing my Fi friends how much I value their individuality.
Actually just had another thought- if I forgot who my friends were I’d probably have a much easier time picking it up & figuring them out than figuring out myself. And figuring out/understanding others is one of my favorite things. I get depressed when I try to understand why I’m behaving the way I’m behaving. I’d rather devote time to understanding them & why we became friends then trying to understand why I’m such a dumb butt. Hm maybe I’m changing my mind.
*Came back to add, because this question is still on my mind- “What is your identity” is the type of question that will launch me into overthinking & confusion & depression. I don’t think I could ever come up with an answer for it.
I think I'd choose to forget everyone else, so that I won't have to be reminded of the pain & disappointment from past failed friendships/relationships.
If I forget myself, it means that I wouldn't be able to remember what has led me down to this path today, I wouldn't know what are the reasons & motivations I relied on to make decisions, I wouldn't be able to remember the mistakes I made and what I shouldn't have done.
Usually I forget everyone and everything around me. Although introspection is oodles of fun, sometimes it only brings to light how little I know myself and how many things I've forgotten about myself.
I would totally, 100% forget myself before forgetting other people. It would be like releasing all my baggage and getting a new name and a fresh start. Who knows what I would end up doing? I would forget I was a musician and a teacher. I would forget that I know things. I would forget that I’m strong, but I would also forget that I’m weak and broken.
My husband died last month, and I’m not who I once was anyway. I’m having to make up dreams for myself because I have no idea what I should do. That man was my world, and he’s gone. I don’t even want to have dreams. I would much rather forget who I am than forget the sweet and wonderful man my husband was. I never, ever want to forget him.
This lockdown made me realise at what point I am a loner.
I promised not to let myself down anymore long ago...
I realized also I focus far too much on my work and independance, so that I don't need to question myself about my relations in depth.
I am at a turning point, should I trust (some) others a bit more to keep on exploring this mad world, with surprises all the way....they always happen if we believe in them.
I suppose I rather forget myself but perhaps this question pertains more to age for me more so than the need to be surrounded by others, Im sure at a young age the people who love me will find me - many of my love ones have passed away or are in need of my care - and I don’t want to let go of those memories
It’s pretty complicated with people who have passed on because wouldn’t forgetting yourself mean forgetting them? I might have read this question wrong. I thought it meant other people forgetting me. I’d much rather other people forget me and then I can re-establish the relationships that I remember which are a part of me….. complicated.
If I forgot myself, then it's like forgetting all the efforts I've made to grow as well as the growth I've underwent. Either way, I like myself (more) now and I wouldn't trade it for the world. also, I wouldn't want to forget my characters!
forget others I think... though sometimes I really wish I was rid of my identity, just wasn't me, so it is a bit difficult, I think that isn't really a good kind of desire though, just tempting... but if I forgot who I was, I would also forget my bond to other people, I might remember who they were, but not how we connect, not what they are to me really. If I remembered who I was, I could rediscover them as myself if they were willing. I think in a way, forgetting who you are completely, isn't that pretty much like dying? and then someone new take over?
This is tough, but I’d rather forget myself.
The reason is simple; because I trust that I’ll be able to rediscover who I am all over again. My memories of the people around me would help me know who I can trust, and those will help me in my new journey.
Forget myself. I wouldn’t want to not know why my loved ones are my loved ones. As far as myself…as long as the ‘wiring’ is still there, I should act like myself even if I can’t recall all the seminal experiences that built the wiring.
And if forgetting myself included forgetting experiences…then there are so many books and movies I’ll get to enjoy for the first time again! That would be magical.
In both cases you'd forget everyone. The people you know like your family and friends are a big part of you and are connected to your self-awareness and sense of place in the world. If you forget yourself you'd forget all the built-up bonds or memories of them because you'd wipe the entire slate clean. You'd have no points of reference.
But ignoring that issue, I would prefer to forget myself. Forgetting everyone seems really lonely and like losing understanding of my own past and origin would give me a deep existential crisis like nothing else - would be like having dementia. Can you imagine forgetting who your own parents were? Disturbing.
Might as well just wipe it all and start a new life cycle. Although ideally I'd want to have my mind put into a new body if I'm going to be reverted back to an infant-like state.
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