[fanaticalmusings]

Not saying that thinking equates to attraction or anything but when you find out that someone has a crush on you, do you sense it and become highly uncomfortable? Or do you think about the person and why they might be interested?

I myself would usually become so uncomfortable to the point where I virtually ignore the person and make my distance.

I only ask to see how different INTJs react to the same situation.

 

[lilysocks]

yup. i can get really really hostile, in fact. i hate the feeling of being forced into a false position by subtext that i don't want and that nobody's 'supposed' to notice.

 

[tiadola]

It depends whether you are attracted in return, right?
Someone I'm attracted to = start analyzing if I'm not wrong about them having a crush or whether they're sincere. Observe and stalk.
Someone who I am not attracted to and wouldn't date in a million years = make it clear if directly approached and /or avoid like the plague. Especially "guy friends", I start reading contact and favours as some sort of "motive-driven" action.

 

[Solstice Amarok]

hmmm, well i would be giddy over having a admirer (narcissist lol idk?) i wouldn't really attempt anything on the person. instead i'll test their values as a person to have as a partner.

 

[Wolf]

Not saying that thinking equates to attraction or anything but when you find out that someone has a crush on you, do you sense it and become highly uncomfortable?

Yeah, it makes me pretty uncomfortable. It changes how I think about said person, as it should.
I usually start avoiding them.

Or do you think about the person and why they might be interested?

Yes, every time. My Ni goes into overdrive and I start trying to figure out the how and why. I have to process something like this a lot, I don't always know how I feel about it.

My initial reaction is often, "wtf, why would they like me?" it almost always catches me really off-guard.

 

[Shinsei]

Yes I get very uncomfortable and will ignore the person, like lone wolf said my response would why would that person like me i have no redeeming qualities.

 

[blondemaiden]

Personally, I am slightly flattered but incredibly confused. I usually sense it, and become oddly uncomfortable. But (with everyone, really) it matters who it is. Actually, if I start to feel growing emotions towards them, I get even more uncomfortable, so all in all it feels very weird.

 

[Wellington]

A tad bit flattered. If I already like the person, but have never considered if a relationship was on the table (not likely, but sometimes I forget), I would begin to evaluate if a relationship was actually possible. Odds are it wouldn't, so I would make it clear that their feelings are not reciprocated and thus a relationship is not possible. If it is, then continue investigation (how long would it last, am I actually looking for a relationship etc).

 

[ninjahitsawall]

when you find out that someone has a crush on you, do you sense it and become highly uncomfortable?

Yes ( assuming I don't feel the same way). I don't really "ignore", exactly, but I tend to become more distant; for some reason, I feel somewhat responsible for the "intimacy level" having been misread, so I just tone it down hoping they'll gradually stop crushing over time.

 

[Acrylic]

.

 

[castor888]

I would feel really uncomfortable and I would try to avoid them. Unless I already had a crush on them before I found out. Then I wouldn't believe it

 

[fieryelf]

Every answers given so far express pretty well how I feel. I wouldn't say I get distant but I just don't know how to react to the situation, I get uncomfortable, don't understand what I've done that could possibly get someone to like me. I tend to keep my feelings to myself, like unconsciously I don't want the other person to know I like her back. I really don't know why I do that, this is why I shot myself in the foot so many times in the past.

 

[Alpha_Orionis]

Yes i think about it. But mostly because i am annoyed. When i think that someone has a crush on me i can never be 100% sure that that is true. I hate when thing are not certain. All i can do is try to guess.

 

[EyesOpen]

I dunno, maybe because I've had a few good crushes throughout the years, on acquaintances and friends, I don't see it as a big deal. *shrug* I've only had one person have a crush on me that I knew of. But we were friends and talked about it, I basically just let him know straightforward but nicely that I wasn't interested. We remained pretty good friends and I just made sure not to do/say anything too encouraging. He ended up getting engaged and married a few years later.

I was in the reverse situation with a good guy friend of mine. We continued to be good friends after the secret was out. He made it clear he wasn't interested and it was fine. No big deal.

In both cases, and with a couple other crushes, it may have been slightly awkward for a little bit but once you get past it then it turns out ok.

If someone had a crush on me, I can't really see myself feeling particularly uncomfortable or defensive or upset or anything. Just slightly flattered and that's about it. If they kept pushing it after making it clear or if we didn't discuss it but I was giving clear signals and that kept going - maybe that'd go into uncomfortable territory, but other than that..it's fine.

 

[FlaviaGemina]

I don't know. I don't think all that many people have crushes on me.
If it was a friend whom I also like, I would just ignore it until they grow out of it.
If it's some random ESFP thinking I've got a mysterious aura and must be smoldering with passion, I just avoid them. But it doesn't make me uncomfortable, because if they're a random person, I don't care about their feelings.

 

[Catwalk]

Not saying that thinking equates to attraction or anything but when you find out that someone has a crush on you, do you sense it and become highly uncomfortable? Or do you think about the person and why they might be interested?

I myself would usually become so uncomfortable to the point where I virtually ignore the person and make my distance.

I only ask to see how different INTJs react to the same situation.

Depend(s) who is crushing .. (?) :cooler:

In my experience, however, ''most'' of my, or any type of crush/es have tended to come on a little [high-strong]. I find the knack of 'crushing' on someone to be robust, which is usually why I ''repel,'' / retreat away from someone who has a crush on me - even if; I find them somewhat attractive + appealing.

I am, highly flattered - indeed, I rather enjoy having crushes, not uncomfortable at all.. :bwink: but I 'repel' them because I find them exhaustive; rather than repulsive.

I actually find the ol' [having someone else] rather than (X) individual tell me themselves; in fact - I prefer to take the upperhand to ''limit'' the drainage that comes with 'crushes'. :rolleye:

However, no - I do not ''avoid'' (i.e., hideaway) from my crushes; nor feel 'uncomfortable' toward(s) + around them - rather, I have a flat indifference - unless they signal me to ''act on it''. (i.e., do something about it).

Feelings of others toward(s) me; or vice versa - rarely effect my overall performance + outlook person / situation. I could work next to a ''love interest,'' of mine (&) think nothing of it; besides a general 'distraction' / side-glares.

 

[wickedly]

It depends whether you are attracted in return, right?
Someone I'm attracted to = start analyzing if I'm not wrong about them having a crush or whether they're sincere. Observe and stalk.
Someone who I am not attracted to and wouldn't date in a million years = make it clear if directly approached and /or avoid like the plague. Especially "guy friends", I start reading contact and favours as some sort of "motive-driven" action.

Glad i am not the only one! definitely get those "motive-driven" actions, when i am around some girls. I mean if i wasn't this pretty i am sure they would not give me anything.

 

[Aladdin Sane]

Not saying that thinking equates to attraction or anything but when you find out that someone has a crush on you, do you sense it and become highly uncomfortable? Or do you think about the person and why they might be interested?

I myself would usually become so uncomfortable to the point where I virtually ignore the person and make my distance.

I only ask to see how different INTJs react to the same situation.

I mostly pity the poor soul because it's mostly men that have crushes on me and I am gay. I instantly pick up on it when a male has a crush on me, I don't act any different towards them, and it only makes me uncomfortable if they actually try it on with me, because I have to tell them no and that's just awkward.

 

[Aladdin Sane]

If it was a friend whom I also like, I would just ignore it until they grow out of it.

I hate it so much when a potential friend has a crush on me. In my first year of uni, one of the guys in my halls developed a crush on me within five seconds of meeting me and he followed me around like a puppy all the time for weeks. I thought we were going to be best friends but when someone told me he had a crush on me, I was so disappointed. I just can't look at them the same anymore.

 

[FlaviaGemina]

I hate it so much when a potential friend has a crush on me. In my first year of uni, one of the guys in my halls developed a crush on me within five seconds of meeting me and he followed me around like a puppy all the time for weeks. I thought we were going to be best friends but when someone told me he had a crush on me, I was so disappointed. I just can't look at them the same anymore.

I would also hate it if it was a person I respect and like because I wouldn't want to them to waste their time, but I couldn't tell them "Stop fancying me already!". But I'd hate to have 'that conversation' with them. I'm not into verbalizing this kind of thing, I heavily rely on subtle clues etc. If they didn't get that, I'd probably flee so I don't have to talk about it.
Hasn't happened so far, because they all got the message. Phew.
It's far better to have a mutual crush that you can't follow through because you've already got a partner or due to circumstances or whatever than to have a friend fancy you when you don't fancy them. If it's mutual, you can just take it as a nice compliment and not worry about it and just be friends.