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Thanks for making me laugh until I started crying--just listening to you reassure a client while I waited on the phone for our lunch time conversation, "Yes, George... the paper work, bring it in Friday is fine; no, problem at all, George; any time between 8 and 11 is perfect, George...",

and I waited, and started laughing, then harder, imagining how soothing you are to your clients, then have to come home to me, and when you got away from the client and said, "It's Doris", that set me off more, I couldn't stop laughing.

I said, "We'll just call her Deloris" and added, when I could speak, "You're a social worker 24 hours a day, dear god, you have to come home to me after what you do all day", and you ended up laughing almost as hard as I was... thinking, then saying, "Oh, when do you get a break" and guffawing continued...


Well, you said, "You're doing fine, now; You're taking a load off me when you can; when you're writing, you're easy-going, so write!"


I asked, "So, I don't have anything specific to do today for you not be mad at me?"

And you reminded me that you'll be playing [an online game] tonight from 7:00 p.m. on..., which cheered me up because, yes, I did tell you to do that, no interruptions, nothing to do tonight but later clean Pickles' cage.


We're OK.


I couldn't relax.


I told you, "I don't know if it's OK to read or do anything I want to do because somewhere in my mind, I'm thinking I'm supposed to be doing something for you."

And you said, "Are you listening to me?" I said, "Yes."

So you continued, "You're fine: read, do whatever, you're an adult, like you said--if neither of us is a selfish asshole; well, you're not being a selfish asshole; you're being an adult."


I said, "Am I?" And you said, "You tell me."


I said, "Well, I'm not sure." And you asked what I wanted to do.

I said, "Think, read, write, take a walk, see animals and birds and some children..." And you said, "OK, do adults do that?"

I said, "Only on weekends," and you sighed, "No, Babe, not only on weekends."


It went like that, with my hanging up feeling it was OK between us.

I don't have anything I have to do today for you that I didn't do yesterday, and you said that's enough--for me to sometimes take a load off you, and the rest of the time not be a childish asshole just like you shouldn't be one either.

I think I can do that, most of the time. I'm trying, anyway. It's just that so much I enjoy doing is like watching a balloon go up in the air and then writing about what happens to the balloon.
 
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