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I promise I will continue to be active here after my exam which is on the sixth.
heheh, i keep telling myself that and failing... (well not the exam part... and not the date, either... you get what i mean.)
 

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as far as i know, i havent written anything in this thread yet... is it okay to just throw something in and let it stand by itself, or does it still have to follow a given prompt? or can i cheat and make a prompt that fits the theme of my story and post the story like that?
 

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as far as i know, i havent written anything in this thread yet... is it okay to just throw something in and let it stand by itself, or does it still have to follow a given prompt? or can i cheat and make a prompt that fits the theme of my story and post the story like that?
Yeah, cheating is fun! But too much of it and it doesn't feel like cheating anymore. There are no examiners here. So.
 

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Discussion Starter · #164 ·
as far as i know, i havent written anything in this thread yet... is it okay to just throw something in and let it stand by itself, or does it still have to follow a given prompt? or can i cheat and make a prompt that fits the theme of my story and post the story like that?
For sure go right ahead! I hope you wrote something and I hope you've still go it to show us! The writing is the important part! Rules? There are no rules!
 
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I cannot write a smaller piece anymore. I have to write my bigger story. It just doesn't feel right personally. I owe it. To myself, to writing. To dedication. TO whatever is worthwhile out there. Am I allowed to vent a little bit about my struggles with writing here? Maybe not. But it is always good to ask.
 
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I cannot write a smaller piece anymore. I have to write my bigger story. It just doesn't feel right personally. I owe it. To myself, to writing. To dedication. TO whatever is worthwhile out there. Am I allowed to vent a little bit about my struggles with writing here? Maybe not. But it is always good to ask.
This inspired me to come up with a prompt:

You have decided you are not satisfied with a single slice. No, nothing will satisfy you but the whole pie.
 

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Prompt

You have decided you are not satisfied with a single slice. No, nothing will satisfy you but the whole pie.


The Whole Pie,
and Nothing but the Pie.


By: Perlanthesis

As you stare at your stargazy pie it stares back at you. You may ask how can a pie stare? It is not a sentient being. This where you’re very much wrong.
My pie is very alive and very much alone by itself as a slice. As my cerulean blue eyes stare at the pie a pair of lackluster beady grey eyes of a fish stare back. A single and desolate fish shoved into a pie as someone’s dinner.

“Quit having a staring contest with the pie?”

The rough voice interrupts your monologue as Morgue your boss comes out with a basket of fish. His real name is not morgue but his fish market never seems to run out of fish seemingly with a everlasting supply even during winter and tsunami season. It’s like he is a fish killer or something. Business is always going well so well in fact the their market vendors give him hateful looks. Many market vendors became jealous and nicknamed him (fish) morgue. In fact, you are not sure if you even remember his name since you always call him boss or “Morgue” in secret.

You run over to help without needing to be asked and Morgue raises a single thick eyebrow.

”You’re being unusually nice today mi piace meno.”

I raise a thin and shaved eyebrow back at him.

"I don’t know what you mean बूढ़ा आदमी."

I help him place the basket of fish on the table.

”Is there anything else you need me to do today good sir” Ugh, my cheery tone sounds fake even to my own ears.

Morgue turns his head away from checking yesterday‘s sales in the ledger to send a pointed glare in my direction.

"Cough it up Balasubmarine. What do you want?"

Despite wanting to please him I couldn’t help but correct him on instinct.

“It’s Balaaa-subraaa-ma-nian” my voice comes out a bit sharper then I intended but its been a long day so give me a break!

“Your point Submarine?”

I bite back a retort and state my request.


“ I want to take a day off work from the fish market”

Morgue gives me a pensive look.
I stand my ground, back straight, eyes wide, and stare back.

“It’s not that I don’t want to give you a day off but it’s Friday and the market is most busy during this time.

“I know, I know, I'm sorry” my tone ends up practically seeping with apology.

"You’re so hardworking. Too an extreme I would say. You love working here. When I leave you even stay behind to clean up and check up on the supplies. You never take a day off. Why do you suddenly want a day off now?"

Dread curls up my spine.
I know there is only one answer I can give
and it will blow his dhakkan off.
I take a deep breath and prep for damage control.

”I want to take a day off because...
I have to go, you know, do something...”

Morgue practically takes the the hint, swallows it, and pretends he never noticed it as he continues his interrogation.

I know his next question.
I really do not want to do this.
I really, really do not wanna do this.
Someone anyone, Subrahmanya spare me of this.

“And this something is?“

“And this something is...is....uhhh”

”Spit it out Submarine.
No information. No break“

His tone is final with no room for arguments so I break it all to him in one breath.

“Th-Thissomethingis...is
IHAVETOGOFISHING!!!"

He stares at me partially shocked and partially quite insulted like I stole his pride as a fish vendor by resurrecting all the dead fish in his market and coercing them to start a revolution. He takes his fish very very seriously.

"My dear employee
We are in a fish market.
In fact, I own a fish market
which you happening to be standing on
and oh, look even working at.
IS MY FISH NOT ENOUGH?"

He gets louder and more and more worked up. Unsurprisingly, he blows his dhakkan off and let us just say the the truth does not end up becoming the loudest thing said that day.


Note:

  • The title is a reference to the swearing testimony used for witnesses in court that goes "I Swear to Tell the Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth". I just replaced most words with pie.

  • I wasn't sure whether I want my main character to be male or female so I kept it ambiguous.

  • I know very little about Indian culture and most of the things I wrote in here like the language was found from the internet so I apologize for any culture inconsistencies. I wanted to include hints to an alternate culture but I also know very little about it.

  • Dhakkan means lid in Indian as in in I blow my lid off (I.e. get crazily angry)

  • The last name Balasubramanian originates from Subrahmanya which is the Indian goddess of war. It is also an allusion to preparing to go into a metaphorical war against Morgue by telling him the truth.

  • Mi piace meno- My least favourite as in my least favourite employee.

  • बूढ़ा आदमी-Nosy old man
 

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Prompt

You have decided you are not satisfied with a single slice. No, nothing will satisfy you but the whole pie.


The Whole Pie,
and Nothing but the Pie.


By: Perlanthesis

As you stare at your stargazy pie it stares back at you. You may ask how can a pie stare? It is not a sentient being. This where you’re very much wrong.
My pie is very alive and very much alone by itself as a slice. As my cerulean blue eyes stare at the pie a pair of lackluster beady grey eyes of a fish stare back. A single and desolate fish shoved into a pie as someone’s dinner.

“Quit having a staring contest with the pie?”

The rough voice interrupts your monologue as Morgue your boss comes out with a basket of fish. His real name is not morgue but his fish market never seems to run out of fish seemingly with a everlasting supply even during winter and tsunami season. It’s like he is a fish killer or something. Business is always going well so well in fact the their market vendors give him hateful looks. Many market vendors became jealous and nicknamed him (fish) morgue. In fact, you are not sure if you even remember his name since you always call him boss or “Morgue” in secret.

You run over to help without needing to be asked and Morgue raises a single thick eyebrow.

”You’re being unusually nice today mi piace meno.”

I raise a thin and shaved eyebrow back at him.

"I don’t know what you mean बूढ़ा आदमी."

I help him place the basket of fish on the table.

”Is there anything else you need me to do today good sir” Ugh, my cheery tone sounds fake even to my own ears.

Morgue turns his head away from checking yesterday‘s sales in the ledger to send a pointed glare in my direction.

"Cough it up Balasubmarine. What do you want?"

Despite wanting to please him I couldn’t help but correct him on instinct.

“It’s Balaaa-subraaa-ma-nian” my voice comes out a bit sharper then I intended but its been a long day so give me a break!

“Your point Submarine?”

I bite back a retort and state my request.


“ I want to take a day off work from the fish market”

Morgue gives me a pensive look.
I stand my ground, back straight, eyes wide, and stare back.

“It’s not that I don’t want to give you a day off but it’s Friday and the market is most busy during this time.

“I know, I know, I'm sorry” my tone ends up practically seeping with apology.

"You’re so hardworking. Too an extreme I would say. You love working here. When I leave you even stay behind to clean up and check up on the supplies. You never take a day off. Why do you suddenly want a day off now?"

Dread curls up my spine.
I know there is only one answer I can give
and it will blow his dhakkan off.
I take a deep breath and prep for damage control.

”I want to take a day off because...
I have to go, you know, do something...”

Morgue practically takes the the hint, swallows it, and pretends he never noticed it as he continues his interrogation.

I know his next question.
I really do not want to do this.
I really, really do not wanna do this.
Someone anyone, Subrahmanya spare me of this.

“And this something is?“

“And this something is...is....uhhh”

”Spit it out Submarine.
No information. No break“

His tone is final with no room for arguments so I break it all to him in one breath.

“Th-Thissomethingis...is
IHAVETOGOFISHING!!!"

He stares at me partially shocked and partially quite insulted like I stole his pride as a fish vendor by resurrecting all the dead fish in his market and coercing them to start a revolution. He takes his fish very very seriously.

"My dear employee
We are in a fish market.
In fact, I own a fish market
which you happening to be standing on
and oh, look even working at.
IS MY FISH NOT ENOUGH?"

He gets louder and more and more worked up. Unsurprisingly, he blows his dhakkan off and let us just say the the truth does not end up becoming the loudest thing said that day.


Note:

  • The title is a reference to the swearing testimony used for witnesses in court that goes "I Swear to Tell the Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth". I just replaced most words with pie.

  • I wasn't sure whether I want my main character to be male or female so I kept it ambiguous.

  • I know very little about Indian culture and most of the things I wrote in here like the language was found from the internet so I apologize for any culture inconsistencies. I wanted to include hints to an alternate culture but I also know very little about it.

  • Dhakkan means lid in Indian as in in I blow my lid off (I.e. get crazily angry)

  • The last name Balasubramanian originates from Subrahmanya which is the Indian goddess of war. It is also an allusion to preparing to go into a metaphorical war against Morgue by telling him the truth.

  • Mi piace meno- My least favourite as in my least favourite employee.

  • बूढ़ा आदमी-Nosy old man
👏👏👏
 

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Joined
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Prompt

You have decided you are not satisfied with a single slice. No, nothing will satisfy you but the whole pie.


The Whole Pie,
and Nothing but the Pie.


By: Perlanthesis

As you stare at your stargazy pie it stares back at you. You may ask how can a pie stare? It is not a sentient being. This where you’re very much wrong.
My pie is very alive and very much alone by itself as a slice. As my cerulean blue eyes stare at the pie a pair of lackluster beady grey eyes of a fish stare back. A single and desolate fish shoved into a pie as someone’s dinner.

“Quit having a staring contest with the pie?”

The rough voice interrupts your monologue as Morgue your boss comes out with a basket of fish. His real name is not morgue but his fish market never seems to run out of fish seemingly with a everlasting supply even during winter and tsunami season. It’s like he is a fish killer or something. Business is always going well so well in fact the their market vendors give him hateful looks. Many market vendors became jealous and nicknamed him (fish) morgue. In fact, you are not sure if you even remember his name since you always call him boss or “Morgue” in secret.

You run over to help without needing to be asked and Morgue raises a single thick eyebrow.

”You’re being unusually nice today mi piace meno.”

I raise a thin and shaved eyebrow back at him.

"I don’t know what you mean बूढ़ा आदमी."

I help him place the basket of fish on the table.

”Is there anything else you need me to do today good sir” Ugh, my cheery tone sounds fake even to my own ears.

Morgue turns his head away from checking yesterday‘s sales in the ledger to send a pointed glare in my direction.

"Cough it up Balasubmarine. What do you want?"

Despite wanting to please him I couldn’t help but correct him on instinct.

“It’s Balaaa-subraaa-ma-nian” my voice comes out a bit sharper then I intended but its been a long day so give me a break!

“Your point Submarine?”

I bite back a retort and state my request.


“ I want to take a day off work from the fish market”

Morgue gives me a pensive look.
I stand my ground, back straight, eyes wide, and stare back.

“It’s not that I don’t want to give you a day off but it’s Friday and the market is most busy during this time.

“I know, I know, I'm sorry” my tone ends up practically seeping with apology.

"You’re so hardworking. Too an extreme I would say. You love working here. When I leave you even stay behind to clean up and check up on the supplies. You never take a day off. Why do you suddenly want a day off now?"

Dread curls up my spine.
I know there is only one answer I can give
and it will blow his dhakkan off.
I take a deep breath and prep for damage control.

”I want to take a day off because...
I have to go, you know, do something...”

Morgue practically takes the the hint, swallows it, and pretends he never noticed it as he continues his interrogation.

I know his next question.
I really do not want to do this.
I really, really do not wanna do this.
Someone anyone, Subrahmanya spare me of this.

“And this something is?“

“And this something is...is....uhhh”

”Spit it out Submarine.
No information. No break“

His tone is final with no room for arguments so I break it all to him in one breath.

“Th-Thissomethingis...is
IHAVETOGOFISHING!!!"

He stares at me partially shocked and partially quite insulted like I stole his pride as a fish vendor by resurrecting all the dead fish in his market and coercing them to start a revolution. He takes his fish very very seriously.

"My dear employee
We are in a fish market.
In fact, I own a fish market
which you happening to be standing on
and oh, look even working at.
IS MY FISH NOT ENOUGH?"

He gets louder and more and more worked up. Unsurprisingly, he blows his dhakkan off and let us just say the the truth does not end up becoming the loudest thing said that day.


Note:

  • The title is a reference to the swearing testimony used for witnesses in court that goes "I Swear to Tell the Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth". I just replaced most words with pie.

  • I wasn't sure whether I want my main character to be male or female so I kept it ambiguous.

  • I know very little about Indian culture and most of the things I wrote in here like the language was found from the internet so I apologize for any culture inconsistencies. I wanted to include hints to an alternate culture but I also know very little about it.

  • Dhakkan means lid in Indian as in in I blow my lid off (I.e. get crazily angry)

  • The last name Balasubramanian originates from Subrahmanya which is the Indian goddess of war. It is also an allusion to preparing to go into a metaphorical war against Morgue by telling him the truth.

  • Mi piace meno- My least favourite as in my least favourite employee.

  • बूढ़ा आदमी-Nosy old man
loled at Balasubmarine. I like the random poems, very fun. 👏👏👏
 

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I was walking along ocean beach as I notice something oblong floating from the surface ...
" great plastic in the water ," I said as I picked up the bottle .....I notice that there's something white- like a note inside of it. Suddenly noltagia took over and I was taken back to 2006.

2006

" Class of 2006 woohoo !" My friend Jeffrey said as he poured more vodka into the shot glasses .
I didn't go to the same college as Jeffrey we were friends from high school . His graduation party was extremely loud and filled with drunk people . I did not feel comfortable- I decided to walk outside a bit for some fresh air - just then somebody bumped hard into me
"Whoa!" I said
"I'm so sorry!" A girl in a Nirvana t-shirt said to me
I looked up, she had a heart shaped face, round emerald green eyes and her hair was pulled back in a messy bun.
" it's ok, " I laughed " I needed some fresh air "
She smiled at me " leaving the party already ?"
" were in the back yard silly " I chuckled
She laughed " how do you know the owner of the house "
" I'm his best friend , " I told her " you ?"
" I don't- my friend invited me here but disappeared the moment he saw the hot girls at the party"
" if we are talking about hot- you're by far the hottest girl here ." I smiled at her, she smiled back.
" wanna walk around?" I asked her " ocean beach is a few blocks from here "
She grabbed my hands and said " let's go!"

As we were walking to the beach - she started pointing out random things that appear-
" look it's a group of raccoons walking!" She said pointing at the 3 raccoons walking across the streets from us
" how cute " I said
" run rabies!!!" She said as started sprinting- since she was holding my hand I ran with her - we stopped when we were close to the beach, both out of breath and laughing hysterically...
" it's too dark to look for sand dollars " she said
" wanna jump the waves?" I suggested
" might as well" she said
We spent the evening jumping waves and laughing our heads off . Once it got a bit too cold I - pulled out my lighter and lit up a big bonfire for us.
" I haven't had this much fun in a long time " she told me
" this is the most fun that I've ever had" I agreed
" we must make this night memorable!" She said , as she stood up and started walking-
" what are you doing?"
"Looking for a bottle!"
"For what? Message in the bottle?"
" you know me so well."
We walked along the beach and found a bottle and a receipt
" lobster sandwich 12.99 and clam chowder 5 dollars even." She read it aloud
" alright we have no pen so that'll be our memorable message ," I joked
She pulled out something from her pocket " lipstick! Aha!" She said applying them onto her lips , then she kissed the receipt -
" now you put on lipstick and kiss it," she told me
I raised my eyebrows at her and she leaned in a gave me a long lingering kiss .
We put the receipt with our lips marked into the bottle and threw it into the ocean.
We cuddles by the campfire and talked till dawn and I gave her my jacket as a parting souvenir.
I forgot to ask her for her name.

2018

I felt the wave hit against my feet, I looked at the bottle and decided to open it...

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
@Llyralen
@burning soul @wums - I’m thinking of writing a play inspired this story what do you guys think ?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
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I’m thinking of writing a play inspired this story what do you guys think ?
I am not sure where you want to go from here. You said it'd be a romantic comedy. What direction it would be? Develop it a little bit more.
 

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I am not sure where you want to go from here. You said it'd be a romantic comedy. What direction it would be? Develop it a little bit more.
it’s just an idea for a short play this is a less than 10 minute writing piece i did for alesha’s prompt


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How long will the play be?
 

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Discussion Starter · #174 · (Edited)
it’s just an idea for a short play this is a less than 10 minute writing piece i did for alesha’s prompt


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
For sure! If your subconscious says there is a play here, then there is a play here. It would be an awesome animation wouldn’t it? It’s interesting how different plays and visual story telling is from book reading where the plot doesn’t have to involve as much action. You’ve got the magic! :)
 
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I agree with @Llyralen if you feel the spark then that's what matters. And I think a message in a bottle could be a great theme for a play once you flesh it out. Is it directly inspired by your short story? Like maybe they would meet again? I'm curious to see where you would take it. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #176 ·
Prompt: Pick a time, event, or person from history and write about yourself being there.
 
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Hm...

This morning he seemed in an unusual hurry--he didn't dine with anyone downstairs for breakfast, which was typical--but it was unusual to see him shuffle through the dining hall while others were still eating their eggs and sausage, his easel and canvas awkwardly weighing him to one side, like a hermit crab that has taken a shell too big for it.

He let the door slam shut as he left and mother rolled her eyes. She felt sorry for him but she never approved of him at the same time--his intense stare in the rare times he made eye contact, his strange reclusion, his hunched posture--like he was guarding his heart from slipping from his chest.

Mother didn't like him, I knew, but I couldn't help but be curious about where he was going. I'd seen some of his paintings before--the bright colors he used pleased me. They didn't look like reality or like many of the other more respectable paintings that hung in people's houses. I wondered if he really saw things like that--there are times when I've had a moment of pleasure and relaxation, and the clouds seemed to open up and when the light filtered down just at that moment, the colors of flowers or grass or trees seemed to burst with vibrancy.

I really liked it when that happened, but most of the time it didn't--most of the time the world took on the grey hue of the overcast sky. And the inside of my family's inn was even darker and more dreary than that, perhaps because I had to be there every day mopping it, wiping the dust off the polished wood baseboards, cleaning the greasy spills that fell from guests spoons and mouths as they ate. I absentmindedly wiped a grease spot from the table while still watching the door where he'd left from, as if I hoped to be able to see through it, to follow him out into the hills where he'd be setting up his easel and opening up his tin of paints...I wondered what he'd come back with this evening, if it wasn't too late, maybe I could catch a glimpse of what he'd seen out there, though he usually didn't stop to talk coming in either...he was usually a little more friendly in the morning than he was in the evening, which was one reason why I felt disappointed by his lack of regard.

I rubbed the last bit of grease into the wood with the towel I used, and went out back to put the rag in the bin. One of the neighbor family's dogs was sniffing around the bucket and I realized I'd forgotten to save him some food scraps this morning as I'd been so lost in thought. I shooed him away though, as I knew if he got ahold of one of the rags he'd surely get a kick or a smack by one of the washerwomen, and I didn't like to see him cower even more as he seemed to hunch his back legs more with every passing day and his tail was almost always between them, except when I brought him a little bit of egg or tomato from a guest's dirty plate.

---------------

That was fun! I was trying to write about Vincent Van Gogh's last day alive, but I don't want to write about the part where he comes back with the gunshot wound. I want to start writing again for fun, so this was a nice prompt to get some of that out and just loosen up and get some words out.

I am not going to edit it now because I am going to do something else. But it was fun to just spew.

I don't really know much about this period or the people involved, but I was pleased to find that some of the ways I imagined it also seemed to be correct--like Van Gogh was staying at an inn, and he did a painting of the inn owner's daughter...and he did eat together with others sometimes. So idk--not much of this is accurate.


 
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