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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hi. I apologize in advance if anything I'm about to say is taken as generalizing and otherwise disrespectful. I'm not trying to be that way. Just trying to understand something here.

I've been wondering about the difference Fe users would have compared to Fi users when it comes to being Type 2. I just took the RHETI test for the first time in a while, and both times have scored as a 2. However there are parts of the description I don't relate to, I think namely because a lot of it seems geared towards Fe users.

For example, I don't know about any other xxFPs, but I'm not all that offended by any efforts I make towards being helpful not being validated. It's nice to receive thank yous, sure. However, I don't believe in doing nice things out of the expectation that others should treat you a certain way in return. Furthermore, because of this, I especially don't relate to the supposed 2-habit of letting things boil internally when people don't seem to appreciate you, to the point where you might become manipulative and call others ungrateful once your emotions come to the surface.

Instead, I tend to turn inward, via becoming depressed when I feel like nothing I do is good enough. I almost always feel some sort of detachment from most of the outside world, anyway (for better or worse,) which is actually the real reason I TRY to be nice; to create a leveled, non-threatening playing field. So it doesn't really make sense for me to be outwardly bothered by anything that happens, as long as the other person isn't being rude. The only time a lack of response seems to get to me is if it comes from a friend or more. In my mind it makes sense that this is more of an Fi thing. Whereas an Fe user would probably feel more involvement in the outside world, thus I think lack of an 'appropriate' response from others would trigger an external reaction. Again, please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong about anything.

As you can see, I also play with the idea of being a 6. So really I'm just weighing similarities here.
 

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Well, shoot. This is a really old thread, and it's a shame it never had any responses. Judging by your signature I supposed you've reconsidered being a 2? I find this interesting, as I have struggled with the notion of 2s only giving with the intent of receiving (particularly love), because (supposedly) I am a 2 (also ENFP), and I am exactly the same as your description - I don't care whether or not you "give" anything to me in return, in order to validate/ appreciate me, just so long as you don't treat me like a piece of shit. I give (in the form of services, emotional support, etc.) because it feels so damn good to be a light for other people sometimes. And usually I don't even do it for that reason either, it's just that if I see someone in need, I want to jump in and help, and if I can't help in the moment, the least I can do is point that person to other resources and hope for the best.

The only time I've ever reacted in a way that might resemble the "2ish" description of giving for the hope of being loved or validated is in the wake of multiple toxic people suddenly revealing themselves, deliberately sabotaging our relationship, walking out, or going dead silent on me when I desperately cried out for help. I'm not altogether good at asking for help, but when a relationship is in danger or when it comes to needing emotional help, I've never been that shy. But, again, it wasn't so much that I was hoping for validation for all my efforts toward them, it was that they *actually did* eventually break down and shit on me after everything I had done. If they didn't want to be in a relationship with me, they could have just moved on instead of "putting up" with my presence.

CN: s****de
 

As an example, I learned that some people who showed up at my wedding didn't even want to be there but were dragged unwillingly by another member. There were also a lot of people enabling my husband's destructive behavior toward our marriage, and finally overtly revealed either that they hated me all along and never wanted me to marry him in the first place, or they were outraged at my attempts to prevent enabling him, etc. This, coupled with the fact that I had been sitting with several people over the years during suicidal thoughts and other emotional drama and stretching myself too thin among them all, trying desperately to bring them hope, and in the end when I was the one who needed help and even became suicidal, my friends all went completely dead quiet. I literally posted publicly across four social media sites that I intended to kill myself and never heard a response - not even from the people who had "been there, done that" with me previously. They were quite happy to engage with my other posts about video games or other topics. I have always lived by the mindset that you should give without expectations, you should be happy just to give of yourself to others and not ask for anything in return. And up until now I've been happy with that. But that reverberating silence in the wake of asking repeatedly for help and then after announcing that I wanted to die - as well as their continued silence after that fact - is making me start to reconsider that belief. Maybe I really need to keep to myself until other people prove that they will give the same in return, after all.


I hope that that makes any sense. (Sorry, my brain is scrambled from severe depression and sleep deprivation atm.)
 
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