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MOTM June 2015
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Yes, most of the time.

I will defend something I feel very strongly about though, and this can at times lead to conflict. Can't really think of a good reason to criticize others, unless they specifically ask me for my opinion. Then only if I think they can handle it, and I believe hearing it could lead to positive changes.
 

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Yes, but only if I think the matter is trivial or that my opinion is rushed. Unnecessary conflict is like unnecessary risk: useless.
 

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Yes... I tend to mind my own business and keep my mouth shut unless life and limb are at stake.

Edit: If it's something I'm obligated to do (as in a work responsibility), I will keep the criticism as private and as constructive as possible. If it's something that comes up in a public setting (e.g., a meeting), I most often will take the "hit" myself in the public setting and then work it through with the "real culprit" in a private setting afterwards. I try to avoid public conflict if at all possible and never attempt to throw anyone "under the bus". In the long run it doesn't do ANYONE any good.
 

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Yes. I find that is is mostly NTJs that are more willing to openly criticize people and give their opinions (when the situation does not call for it, or when something is none of their business).

Only if I really have to, I will give my take and will gently criticize someone.
 

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Whenever I engage in conflict, it is usually when someone is trying to manipulate me to bend the rules for them. Also, when someone has their facts wrong regarding something I'm knowledgeable about.
^ This. Also, I'm not a "knark", but if someone asks me a direct/pointed question, I won't mince words and people are usually not prepared for my direct answers. If you don't want to hear the truth, then don't ask.
 

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I'm not conflict averse, but I certainly don't seek it out. I'll go with conflict if I think it's necessary, for example if someone's overstepped the line somehow.

If the conflict or criticism will lead to people getting upset which in turn effects the relationship/project etc I'm pretty good at keeping schtum about it though (but doing what I can to guide them into doing the right thing).

I am critical of people but I tend to try and bite my tongue or at least be tactful about it (I'm not sure I'm very good at this though - whether those that know me would agree or not I don't know). I do moan a hell of a lot though, so I'm probably not so good at biting my tongue as I like to think I am!
 

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MOTM June 2015
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I try to avoid public conflict if at all possible and never attempt to throw anyone "under the bus". In the long run it doesn't do ANYONE any good.
Your comment made me think about a conversation I had with my son last summer.

My son, still a teenager, had a boss take a container of salad and sling it towards him because she didn't like the way it looked. Contents spilled all over the place when she did. She asked him would he eat it, he replied, "I would have before you slung it all over the place." When he was telling me about the incident he said, "I'm not even the one that was on salad duty that day." I said did you tell her you didn't make it? He said no, she just wanted someone to be mad at, and I'm not throwing someone else under the bus.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Your comment made me think about a conversation I had with my son last summer.

My son, still a teenager, had a boss take a container of salad and sling it towards him because she didn't like the way it looked. Contents spilled all over the place when she did. She asked him would he eat it, he replied, "I would have before you slung it all over the place." When he was telling me about the incident he said, "I'm not even the one that was on salad duty that day." I said did you tell her you didn't make it? He said no, she just wanted to someone to be mad at, and I'm not throwing someone else under the bus.
that story makes me want to throw that b*tch from top floor, she is sick, sorry about that.
 

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wow, so far all answers are opposite of stj stereotype that most of them tolerate conflict and have no trouble criticizing others on daily basis.
Maintaining a safe and stable environment is typically at or near the top of an ISTJ's priorities. In most cases, fostering/inciting conflict can only degrade that stability. For me to step into a situation, the offender's threat to that stability and safety would have to be greater than what the potential conflict could cause. Even when criticism is warranted, I will try to do it in the least destabilizing manner possible.
 

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MOTM May 2011
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please answer Yes or No (only xSTJs)
Yes, I tend to avoid conflict. No, I don't back down from someone that is confrontational.

Yes, I am critical of people and processes that are sub-par. I tend to not voice my criticisms as little good comes from it.

Unless the topic is near and dear. Then all bets are off.
 

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Yes. Like everyone's post said, I avoid conflict if I can help it.
 

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I'm not conflict averse, but I certainly don't seek it out. I'll go with conflict if I think it's necessary, for example if someone's overstepped the line somehow.

If the conflict or criticism will lead to people getting upset which in turn effects the relationship/project etc I'm pretty good at keeping schtum about it though (but doing what I can to guide them into doing the right thing).
Describes my approach pretty well.

I'm not afraid of conflict in most scenarios, but I hate conflict where it isn't necessary, or where the repercussions aren't worth the momentary victory.

Every time there's a conflict at hand, I always have to ask myself if this is the hill I want to die on...
 
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Your comment made me think about a conversation I had with my son last summer.

My son, still a teenager, had a boss take a container of salad and sling it towards him because she didn't like the way it looked. Contents spilled all over the place when she did. She asked him would he eat it, he replied, "I would have before you slung it all over the place." When he was telling me about the incident he said, "I'm not even the one that was on salad duty that day." I said did you tell her you didn't make it? He said no, she just wanted someone to be mad at, and I'm not throwing someone else under the bus.
That reminds me of a similar incident I had, albeit a less extreme one.

I work in real estate, and part of my work involves compiling all the due diligence on a property and creating a packet for the buyer to look over. I'm the only one that does this job, and I have it down to a science. One time my manager decided he would build a few of these packets himself "to save time." Needless to say, due to his inexperience assembling them, he included a lot of false information.

His boss caught the mistakes and came to my desk, thinking I had made them. He proceeded to reprimand me about the need to create a step-by-step procedure to make sure things like this didn't happen. I knew I hadn't made those packets, but I decided to keep quiet because I didn't feel like making it a bigger deal.

Only I got asked what I was going to do to never make the same mistakes again...at which point I had to tell him I didn't make them (I'm bad at lying about how I won't fail a project I never failed to begin with).

He ended up going to my manager and telling him to stop doing my job because he was screwing it up. :p
 
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Yes, I avoid conflict whereever possible. I have an intense dislike for any form of argument. I prefer to state my opinion and reasons for it, when warranted and leave it at that.

Generally no on criticizing others. I'm more prone to criticizing actions I consider to be daft.
 

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I work with an ISTJ. He's normally quiet/standoffish, particularly around me. Once every few weeks, he'll throw out some kind of completely groundless insult based on a slew of false assumptions, directed at others or at me. I will set him straight cat-quick because I despise this sort of thing in general (be a drama whore/put people down to build yourself up on your own time, thanks) and he'll go back to being quiet/standoffish, at least around me.

Hardworking and meticulous as hell, but quite frankly, the guy's an asshole and if there wasn't someone like me around to set him straight when he needed it, I shudder to think how he'd act. I hope to god you all aren't like this. Ugh. :p
 
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