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Hi, I am new to PerC so if I seem a little lost, that´s because I am. And by the way, English is not my first language so I will probably make many mistakes.

I have been reading and thinking about mbti for a while now, and sice the begining I have been 100 % sure that I am either INFP or INFJ. According to most tests I am INFJ and I would say that it fits me better, but I want to make sure that I am not mistyping myself, so that´s why I am posting this. Also, I need closure.

One of the main reasons why I don´t think that I am an INFP is because I can´t relate to fi-ne. Perhaps I have totally misinterpreted the functions and my fi comes so naturally to me that I don´t even realize it´s there.

I have a friend who I am absolutely sure is an INFP. Not just an INFP, but a textbook INFP. She is basically every single INFP stereotype out there. It has been by comparing our personalities and by paying close attention to the way we interact that I have (almost) dismissed the possibility that I might me an INFP. Sometimes I can see how her fi and (what I think is) my fe clash. Also, her scattered brain and indecisiveness drive me insane. In fact, at some point, I don´t remember why, we talked about the fact that her mind is "all over the place" and eager to explore many different things, and mine is more "like a laser beam" (ne vs ni?)

--Her fi-dom is very obvious and strong. She is obsessed with her values and with being true to herself and understanding her feelings. In fact, it seems to me that it is the only thing she talks and writes about. We both like writing, but she writes poetry about her feelings and opiniongs, whereas I pretty much only write fiction. I have writen poetry, but I have never managed to write about how I feel. That´s one of the reasons why I don´t think I am an INFP: I struggle a lot to understand my feelings, to know where they come from and to even care about them, honestly. Most of the time I can´t be bothered to give them a second thought, so if the feeling is negative, I just focus on getting rid of it and moving on (and usually need help for that). It seems so easy for my INFP friend (I am going to call her Mary from now on) and for another ENFP friend of mine to understand their feelings and accept them...


--When it comes to values, I guess I just have a general sense of right and wrong...pretty much like everybody else. Also, I would say that I am kind of an "a means to an end" type of person, in the sense that I know that sometimes it´s better to do the not so morally right thing if it benefits everybody. On the other hand, Mary is very strict with her values. For example, she hates lying and she will avoid it even if it is for a good cause.

I am going to give another example, which is probably a little polemical but...well:
We are spanish. As you probably already know, bull fighting is a huge thing here. People are almost equally split between loving it and hating it. According to Mary, it should be banned because it´s awful to kill animals and it goes against her values. I agree, but I don´t think it should be banned. It has been a tradition since the Xll century and trying to ban it now would probably bring about more problems that anything. Firstly, Spain already has way to many issues that divide us (corruption, Catalonia, unemployment, drought...), and we don´t need more for now. Secondly, I just don´t think it would work. People who love it and those who are part of the industry would freak out. If people want to bann it, now is not the right time.


--Moving on to something else, I have an INTJ friend who I would say I can relate a lot to. I can see how we would have the same dominant function. She says that I am an INFJ and laughs at the idea of me being an INFP, but I think she says that just because I seem very J (I am aware that I give off the impression of being quite serious and organized) and not because she is looking at the functions.


--So, I want to ask you a question: Is it possible to be an fi-dom and not really pay attention, care or understand your feelings? I do care a lot about feelings in general (I am sure I am a feeler), i care about my feelings towards other people and especially about their own feelings, but that´s it. This doesn´t bother me at all and I don´t think it´s a problem, because for me knowing and understanding myself is knowing how my mind works, not my feelings, and kowing what I want for my future. Also, I don´t have that "I want to be authentic" thing to myslef. I obviously don´t want to be fake, but I had never really thought or worried about being authentic until I got into mbti. In fact, the reason why I got into it was because I realized that my personality changed way to much depending on the person that I was with and I got very confused.

An example to ilustrate the whole thing about not understanding my feelings:
When I am nervous about something, I only realize that I am nervous when I start shaking, but even then I can´t even tell whether I am nervous, cold or something else.
Another thing is that when I was a kid I had "mental symbols" (?) for certain feelings, things or situations. For example, whenever I was looking forward to something, I would first get a very specific mental image (it´s hard to explain, but it´s kind of like a rectangle with a line comming out of it. It´s not as simple as that but I just don´t know how to describe it) and then realize that I was looking forward to something. Sometimes I even had to figure out what it was.
These are silly examples, but it´s the only thing I came up with.

Thanks in advance to everybody who responds to this.
 

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Hiiii esalorelo~

Is it possible to be an fi-dom and not really pay attention, care or understand your feelings?
I really, really, really want to say no. Because Fi must process and understand how it feels toward certain things before coming to a conclusion and acting. To not process feelings is to not know the self, and then to act in a way that possibly contradicts or betrays the self's value system is to not be authentic. Fi == Authenticity.

According to Mary, it should be banned because it´s awful to kill animals and it goes against her values.
Her Fi: “I must decide how I feel and where I stand on these issues before coming to a conclusion about what to do.”

Mary wants to ban bullfighting and spare the bulls' lives in consideration of her own values, alone. She didn't take into consideration other people's values (Fe) when she decided on her decision to support the ban.

I agree, but I don´t think it should be banned.
Agree in opinions. But differ in action supported. Why?

It has been a tradition since the Xll century and trying to ban it now would probably bring about more problems that anything. Firstly, Spain already has way to many issues that divide us (corruption, Catalonia, unemployment, drought...), and we don´t need more for now. Secondly, I just don´t think it would work. People who love it and those who are part of the industry would freak out. If people want to bann it, now is not the right time.
Your Fe here: “I will analyze the information that is available to me and then see how I can use it to achieve interpersonal peace.”

You're taking into consideration peace for Spain and its values (tradition), AND the bullfighting fans, AND the bullfighting industry/economy. No mention of your own values. Again, you struggle to sort those out. But you know what society and other people want. And you work to determine what would appease them all, at least in the best way possible.

I will conclude with INFJ. Hope this helps~
 

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Ni dominant is quite subconscious in nature. It can know what will transform into the future, but this only occurs through a sudden connection between all of the information and patterns its taken in and processed with a bit of time. It's also symbolic in nature, yeah. The INTJs I know would agree, methinks. Clear (or maybe not very clear) to the self, nigh impossible to articulate to others. I think INFJs really crave to be understood in their mental processes. Its a source of relief? I am not too sure. INFPs prefer validation.

INFJ: OMG, you understand my reasoning, thank you! Killing animals sucks, but banning bullfighting would just cause more chaos!
INFP: OMG, you respect my belief, thank you! Killing animals sucks, so protect them! Ban the fighting!

I think we secretly don't want to be understood, it amplifies the feeling of uniqueness and mystery. Or maybe it's just me. .... :tongue:

(Ugh, the edits...)
 

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If you struggle to understand your own feelings, and aren't interested nor care where they come from - why are you returning F results on dichotomy tests?
 

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"I think we secretly don't want to be understood, it amplifies the feeling of uniqueness and mystery. Or maybe it's just me. .... "
Oh god, it´s almost like reading my INFP friend!!! I will keep what you said in mind so that I can understand her better. Thanks!
 

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Well, I do care about feelings a lot. But as I said, I get frustrated with mine because I am not very good at understanding them. I am interested about where they come from but it´s just hard for me to tell. Let´s come back to my INFP friend. Even if her feelings are negative, she seems to deeply understand them and value them. She considers them part of herself, if that makes sense. In my case, if the feeling is towards other people or because of something that has happened, I understand it. For example, today I couldn´t stop hugging a friend of mine. I just really appreciate and love her, so that is important for me, and I can´t keep it for myself. But the thing is that whenever I feel something that is not directly related to something else (I really don´t know if this is making any sense) or if the feeling is very strong, I struggle and need someone to help me figure it out. For instance, the other day I started feeling a bit low all of a sudden. I talked to a friend about it and it just went away. That´s what I mean: I care about feelings (perhaps my firs post came across the wrong way) but I struggle to understand mine.
Thanks very much for responding, Turi.
 

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All the differences you've pointed out between you and her, makes you INFJ and her INFP, yes.

Also, her scattered brain and indecisiveness drive me insane.
Typical INFJ response. A fellow INFP would understand better, rather like it instead.
 

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From what you have written here, it seems like you're more confident about being an INFJ, also about being an Ni-dom.
Of course, I don't know you and even if I did, I wouldn't know what goes through your head, as cognitive functions are mainly about your thought process.
You may try "being" an INFJ for a while and see how you feel about it, check out INFJ forum here and see whether can you somehow relate. Is it a reliable method? Maybe not the most reliable one, but it is still better than nothing.
 

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Hi, I am new to PerC so if I seem a little lost, that´s because I am. And by the way, English is not my first language so I will probably make many mistakes.

I have been reading and thinking about mbti for a while now, and sice the begining I have been 100 % sure that I am either INFP or INFJ. According to most tests I am INFJ and I would say that it fits me better, but I want to make sure that I am not mistyping myself, so that´s why I am posting this. Also, I need closure.

....
Yes; of course you are INFJ.

So, now, you have closure!







 

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Hey!

I know there's already been a couple responses on here, but I thought it might help to hear from an INFJ.

I related to a lot of the things that you described in your post. I also have issues staying in touch with my feelings, and have to figure them out. You also seem to show strong Ni- leading by feelings.

Overall, I'd also say you're probably an INFJ...but if you haven't looked through all of the other types, you definitely should. There's a pretty nice article that might help you determine whether you're truly INFJ or not, based off of your primary function. Here's how it describes the INFJ:

"-Everything an Ni dominant type does is deliberate. You will likely get the sense that they have carefully (but covertly) planned out their actions and words.
-They may ask many questions in conversation, but questions tend to be open-ended. I.e. “Can you tell me more about that,” As opposed to, “When did that happen?”
-They prefer sticking to one topic of conversation but may feel the need to ‘explain around’ the topic if they are unable to convey the essence of it concisely.
-Ni dominant types usually pause to fully take in and consider what you have said in conversation before replying.
-They may also return to a topic of conversation weeks after you’ve had it, having processed and analyzed what you’ve said more fully.
-They enjoy talking about future possibilities in a linear fashion.
-These types have a lot of ‘epiphanies’ or ‘realizations.’
-Ni dominant types often give off a stoic or “Zen” vibe.
-These types usually advocate for thinking through your options carefully, optimizing your experiences and keeping your long-term objectives in mind at all times."

Unfortunately I'm unable to give you a link to the source because I'm a new member, but if you google one of those phrases, it should come up.

If you identified with what I posted above, you're likely an Ni dom or Aux. If you didn't...no worries. Look through the rest of the article and see if you recognize yourself in other descriptions.

Hope this helps!
 

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Thanks for your response.
I have read the article and I can relate to most of it. I guess I have already come to a conclusion, so thanks a lot to all of you!
 
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