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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
What can I do? I feel this is seriously ruining our relationship. Am I really not worth your time to focus your entire attention on me?

On top of that I hate the notification noise that your phone makes.

(Of course this does not apply to all ENTJs and all situations.)
 

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My Mother will invite me over to her house and do the exact same thing, although that's gotten better with time...
She will also come to a sudden stop in the middle of the street to reply to a text, world crushing problems :dry:
 

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That kind of thing pisses me off too.
 
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Honestly if someone is texting the entire time that they are with you [and assuming they don't spend the majority of their time in your company] and you've already asked them repeatedly to stop you should probably be concerned about their level of interest. Unless it's business. In which case you should either 1) work on your neediness 2) leave him for someone who isn't so busy 3) try and find a time where both your schedules are clear, which would mean less quantity but more quality.

And having an annoying notification noise just adds insult to injury.
 

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If their behavior doesn't change, they probably aren't as interested in what you're saying, you're too needy, or don't find you as nearly as interesting as you find them or perhaps all 3.
Either way, if this is so important to you that you feel the need to post a thread on, move on... obviously this person doesn't meet your needs, and you don't meet theirs... as someone invigorating is easily able to capture my attention. I really only answer my texts if I am waiting to hear back about something and inform the person I am giving my attention to that I am expecting a text message.
 

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What can I do? I feel this is seriously ruining our relationship. Am I really not worth your time to focus your entire attention on me?
He (she?) answers that question by continually choosing to text after you've repeatedly asked him not to.
So no, he doesn't think you're worth his time.

Ask the better question - "why do I put up with it?" It's not about whether or not he values you, but rather how you value yourself.
 

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Text them when you're with them lol, "Please put your phone away and be present when you're with me. If you cannot do this, I will get up and walk away." Follow through.

One fair warning, consequences.
 

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If I remember correctly, you're an INxP...? My IT friends always have a problem with the amount of texting I do, at least, more so than my extraverted friends. I tried to work on it once my INTJ friend sat me down and explained she was about to take a hatchet to me. Though at the same time, she's easily annoyed when I don't answer her messages fast enough, which seems kinda contradictory. I usually don't think I'm texting that much, but if I am, you should probably let me know. Introverts and extraverts have different boundaries as to what "too much texting" is.

Anyway, yeah, I'll be on my phone if we've been hanging out for a few hours and I need more human contact than just you, or I'll spend about 15 minutes answering messages in the middle of a very long spree of just focusing on you. I'm also always on my phone during movies, mostly because I know how the plot's going to go about fifteen minutes in and think I have better ways to spend my time. Unfortunately, sometimes the "needs human interaction" piece of extraversion, for me, can correlate to quantity, not quality. No matter how much fun we're having together, eventually I'm going to get tired if I'm only around you. Because if I trust you and we're close, being with you is like being by myself, and I always get really tired when I'm by myself.

If they're constantly on their phone, sit them down for awhile and explain why it bothers you. Tell them the consequences. If they don't change the behavior, leave. If they pursue you, tell them they have to change their behavior before you'll be friends with them again. You do have to follow through on the consequences though- whatever you feel for this person, it's not as important as your own dignity.

The phone notification thing is something my ENFJ brother does. It's seriously irritating- I turn mine off, partially because it'd be going off constantly and get really annoying, and partially because it's just rude. The feeling I get from my brother is that he likes feeling popular, which for its own sake is something that I think shallow and vapid. It's usually something only immature extraverts do. Or introverts who don't expect to be getting a lot of messages.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
If I remember correctly, you're an INxP...? My IT friends always have a problem with the amount of texting I do, at least, more so than my extraverted friends. I tried to work on it once my INTJ friend sat me down and explained she was about to take a hatchet to me. Though at the same time, she's easily annoyed when I don't answer her messages fast enough, which seems kinda contradictory. I usually don't think I'm texting that much, but if I am, you should probably let me know. Introverts and extraverts have different boundaries as to what "too much texting" is.

Anyway, yeah, I'll be on my phone if we've been hanging out for a few hours and I need more human contact than just you, or I'll spend about 15 minutes answering messages in the middle of a very long spree of just focusing on you. I'm also always on my phone during movies, mostly because I know how the plot's going to go about fifteen minutes in and think I have better ways to spend my time. Unfortunately, sometimes the "needs human interaction" piece of extraversion, for me, can correlate to quantity, not quality. No matter how much fun we're having together, eventually I'm going to get tired if I'm only around you. Because if I trust you and we're close, being with you is like being by myself, and I always get really tired when I'm by myself.

If they're constantly on their phone, sit them down for awhile and explain why it bothers you. Tell them the consequences. If they don't change the behavior, leave. If they pursue you, tell them they have to change their behavior before you'll be friends with them again. You do have to follow through on the consequences though- whatever you feel for this person, it's not as important as your own dignity.

The phone notification thing is something my ENFJ brother does. It's seriously irritating- I turn mine off, partially because it'd be going off constantly and get really annoying, and partially because it's just rude. The feeling I get from my brother is that he likes feeling popular, which for its own sake is something that I think shallow and vapid. It's usually something only immature extraverts do. Or introverts who don't expect to be getting a lot of messages.
Well that's just sad, no offense. I don't think I can be with someone like this.

And the extra sad thing is, everything else is almost perfect.
 

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Well that's just sad, no offense. I don't think I can be with someone like this.

And the extra sad thing is, everything else is almost perfect.
Not to be blunt, but from what I've seen of your relationship with this ENTJ in your posts, you probably shouldn't be with them anyway. It seems to be too much strain on you.
 
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I just call them out right infront of their face! Make sure to make it known it's not acceptable behaviour :)

None of my friends ever play with their phone infront of me, I just take that bullshit!
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Not to be blunt, but from what I've seen of your relationship with this ENTJ in your posts, you probably shouldn't be with them anyway. It seems to be too much strain on you.
You are underestimating the power of non-ENTJs. We are not babies.

To be blunt, I feel ENTJs have the emotional quotient of a small baby.
 

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One fair warning, consequences.
People who demonstrate disinterest in this manner are passive-aggressive milksops who can't manage the mojo to tell the truth. I would see any consequence here as a liberating clarity and dodging a bullet.
 

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You are underestimating the power of non-ENTJs. We are not babies.

To be blunt, I feel ENTJs have the emotional quotient of a small baby.
... another reason you probably shouldn't be with the ENTJ anyway. Though I'd urge you not to demonize every single person with the type of this person in your life- i.e. calling an entire type small babies is probably not the healthiest thing for you. It's also a bit rude. I did that with my INTP ex for a bit, and it was a really ineffective way to handle my feelings.

Regardless, good luck. Go dump them.
 
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People who demonstrate disinterest in this manner are passive-aggressive milksops who can't manage the mojo to tell the truth. I would see any consequence here as a liberating clarity and dodging a bullet.
To which method or situation are you referring to? Clarify.
 

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To which method or situation are you referring to? Clarify.
The original offender texting in the presence of the OP to display disinterest. Really immature.

I do agree with your solution. However, I think 'consequences' is a harsh term to describe the liberation I would feel if someone didn't take to my objection about the texting reasonably. If I were the OP and that happened, I would be happy to move on from someone who passive-aggressively approaches conflicts like that. People who do that, in my mind, are not real losses.
 

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What can I do? I feel this is seriously ruining our relationship. Am I really not worth your time to focus your entire attention on me?

On top of that I hate the notification noise that your phone makes.

(Of course this does not apply to all ENTJs and all situations.)
My phone is always off with those I care about.

With those I do not care about my phone is all that matters as it is my connection with those that I do care about.

There is a hierarchy, if someone is on their phone around you, you are likely not on top.
 
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