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Discussion Starter #1
The title says it all, folks. You're dying. There's nothing you can do to stop the inevitable. How do you spend your last waking moments?

Before you slam that "post reply" button, give it some real deep thought.

Go.
 

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Ok Zomboy, I'm assuming i'm still pretty physically fit and able at this point?
righty ho then, i'm going to apply for the most credit card debt, and bank loans i can possibly get, (I have no dependants, no one to inherit debt) and then I'm going to spend spend spend. Spend on charities, give out money to random old folks or poor folks on the street, spend on family and freinds, whatever they want,.. I'm going to go out to Egypt to see the sites, i'm going to bribe the gurads to let me into the Great pyramid at night.. then, i'm going to book a few flying lessons,.. then, i'm going to get as drunk and as happy as i can be with freinds. Then, I'd spend a month, with someone special, a whole month, whilst Im still well enough to enjoy that special time with them, then, back to family, to see out my days. I'll have already made my peace and reparations where nessacery,.. and try to leave with a clean a slate as possible, Then, presents for everyone, big special presents after my funeral, and a taped message telling everyone to try and live like i did for the last six months,.. (minus the debt of course)
Its not much, i grant you,.. i dont wanna kill anyone, or change world events,.. I'm just happy for it to me about me and my loved ones.
G. x
 

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Discussion Starter #4
To answer my own quandary:

I would personally seek out people I have problems with. I'd tell them up front what a bunch dirty, worthless, sack-of-shit lowlifes they all are, then I would proceed to beat them down until their faces looked like mashed potatoes.

This would probably carry on through the whole six months (if I could manage it). If the authorities tried to cut my fun short, I'd probably direct my rage at them and force them to gun me down.

I have a lot of repressed rage. Can you tell?
 

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I would not want to die angry. I think I would try to make peace with everyone who I have ever had bitter experiences with.

I would want to find my half-sister who was adopted. I was an only child, and I didn't find out about her until I was in my early 20s. I've always wondered what it would have been like to have a sibiling.

I would tell the girl I liked in high school- who is now married- that I am sorry that I was too shy to speak to her in public. We have remained "pen pals" for a decade.

I would do everything that I was ever affraid of doing in the past. I would play sports with people.

I would write my own eulogy.

(I had already given this some thought in the past.)
 

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To answer my own quandary:

I would personally seek out people I have problems with. I'd tell them up front what a bunch dirty, worthless, sack-of-shit lowlifes they all are, then I would proceed to beat them down until their faces looked like mashed potatoes.

This would probably carry on through the whole six months (if I could manage it). If the authorities tried to cut my fun short, I'd probably direct my rage at them and force them to gun me down.

I have a lot of repressed rage. Can you tell?
You are wasting a lot of time on negative emotion.

Why not say screw them, and work on making yourself REALLY REALLY happy instead?

Because making other people sad or angry won't actually make you happy anyways.

And why die in jail? Why not get high on good drugs or something?
 

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I would not want to die angry. I think I would try to make peace with everyone who I have ever had bitter experiences with.

I would want to find my half-sister who was adopted. I was an only child, and I didn't find out about her until I was in my early 20s. I've always wondered what it would have been like to have a sibiling.

I would tell the girl I liked in high school- who is now married- that I am sorry that I was too shy to speak to her in public. We have remained "pen pals" for a decade.

I would do everything that I was ever affraid of doing in the past. I would play sports with people.

I would write my own eulogy.

(I had already given this some thought in the past.)
I like this. It sounds happy and kind of a healthy sane response to finding out you are going to die.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
You are wasting a lot of time on negative emotion.

Why not say screw them, and work on making yourself REALLY REALLY happy instead?

Because making other people sad or angry won't actually make you happy anyways.

And why die in jail? Why not get high on good drugs or something?
The only thing that makes me happy anymore are drugs.

I've lost everything else. I'm just a worthless husk of what I used to be/could have been.

Been having some health problems; namely going blind in my left eye at random. After a visit to the ER, my family doctor got his secretary to arrange an appointment with me.

Of course, you can pretty much tell what the first thing that went through my mind was.

Personally, being told I am terminally ill would be such a stress-reliever, if not an easy way out of my current predicaments. Heh.
 

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The only thing that makes me happy anymore are drugs.

I've lost everything else. I'm just a worthless husk of what I used to be/could have been.

Been having some health problems; namely going blind in my left eye at random. After a visit to the ER, my family doctor got his secretary to arrange an appointment with me.

Of course, you can pretty much tell what the first thing that went through my mind was.

Personally, being told I am terminally ill would be such a stress-reliever, if not an easy way out of my current predicaments. Heh.
This sounds sad. No wonder you want to seek revenge.

I still say eff it though. It's all the more reason to be selfish and self-indulgent.

(Sincerely hope they figure out what is going on with your eye. That is a weird symptom... and there's always the chance it's something simple and easily treatable)
 

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I would drop out of school, and work part-time at a medium-paced job, doing something I like. I would aim to save up a certain sum of money so that it can be used to provide for my family after i am gone. I'd most likely use that money to buy some kind of bond or a 5-10 year CD, so that the interest would accrue and this can be used for something worthwhile by my family. Ideally, for a summer vacation sometime down their lives. Our family has been planning to go to this specific place, and has been saving up for that so I'd want my savings to be used years later, when my family has gotten over the grief, and can think back of me and smile.

Outside of work.. I would feel free to enjoy life. Go to the beach as often as I want. Paint a lot. Sing a lot, even though I suck. take dancing lessons, take more music lessons, do all the things i wanted to do but wasn't able to do. Eat a lot of chocolate, go on a cruise, enjoy all the small things in life. Ironically, the idea of having a certain amount of time to live is very appealing to me. It gives me a sense of closure... and because i know my timeframe, i would act accordingly. With life right now, I feel like things are unsettled which kind of irks me, I have to often balance the ideal and practical -- what i want to do versus what i should do. but since i have the time frame, i'd just do what i want to do instead of pursuing my ambitions in grad school. the idea of knowing this makes me feel liberated in a sense.

I would live life with no regrets.


And. as one of the last, last, last things I would make amends with everyone, whether i wronged them, or they wronged me.
 

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To answer my own quandary:

I would personally seek out people I have problems with. I'd tell them up front what a bunch dirty, worthless, sack-of-shit lowlifes they all are, then I would proceed to beat them down until their faces looked like mashed potatoes.

This would probably carry on through the whole six months (if I could manage it). If the authorities tried to cut my fun short, I'd probably direct my rage at them and force them to gun me down.

I have a lot of repressed rage. Can you tell?
:unsure:

Why would you want to end your life spending your energy and time directed towards lowlifes? I'd do all I can to forget those memories and erase all those people from the past. I try to live by "forgive, but don't forget." But in the last 6 months of my life, I want to let go completely, forget, erase them out of my mind completely. So that I can spend it being happy.

Repressed rage is okay. Just channel it somewhere else?
 

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I'd make sure my son & cats were taken care of, as well as could be for the circumstances.

But assuming my son was grown & on his own? Travel ALLL over the globe. India, Japan, Europe, Egypt, etc. until my time was up.

Yeah, that's it. I've been living life HARD since I came out of the womb. I've far exceeded what I was hoping for myself in life. Although, there's ton more I *want* to do - the only thing I would regret before leaving this planet is not having traveled all over it. (I've already been all over the US & lived in Europe for 7 years...so I have a good start)
 
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i would make a documentary on the last six months of my life. i would include my ideas, dreams, and motivations... start up a non-profit, and live my life to it's very greatest potential. i would make sure that i did not die in vain, knowing i could have done something to make the world better, but didn't. my documentary would be an inspiration, maybe to a few people, maybe to many more. those willing or prompted by my words or story would carry out my thoughts and ideas, let my dreams live on in hopes of a better world. i know i would leave this world having made a difference in my life, and hopefully others.

i would no longer be living, but i know that part of me would carry on.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Curious has hit the nail on the head for me (albeit probably for different reasons).

I choose the angry route because it's what I feel is just. I've gone through life with the knowledge that nobody cares when you're miserable. Even my friends think I'm just throwing temper tantrums for attention. The kicker? I don't even know if they're right or not. Of course I want attention when I'm depressed. But no, I have been reduced to hugging my pillow and pretending it's someone hugging me back, simply because my pillow can't turn me away.

But I guess I'm just ranting now, and 90% of you are probably itching to hit that "post reply" button to inform me to stop being such a whiner. "Take it somewhere else", you'll tell me.

I'll leave before I get any worse. Perhaps I'll do the world a favor and get shot.
 

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Grab the calculator to figure out how long my savings account will last if I quit my job. Once that's set, quit the job. Live life sharing time with my son and those I love. My focus would be creating memories for them that would impact their lives in a positive way. Preparing gifts and recordings for my son to mark the special occasions in his life. 1 year past my death, driver's license, prom, graduation, college, marriage, birth of first child etc. I want my love to be felt throughout his life even though I'm not physically here. He'll have the trust and all residual financial gains...but none of those things can replace love and great memories.
 
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Curious has hit the nail on the head for me (albeit probably for different reasons).

I choose the angry route because it's what I feel is just. I've gone through life with the knowledge that nobody cares when you're miserable. Even my friends think I'm just throwing temper tantrums for attention. The kicker? I don't even know if they're right or not. Of course I want attention when I'm depressed. But no, I have been reduced to hugging my pillow and pretending it's someone hugging me back, simply because my pillow can't turn me away.

But I guess I'm just ranting now, and 90% of you are probably itching to hit that "post reply" button to inform me to stop being such a whiner. "Take it somewhere else", you'll tell me.

I'll leave before I get any worse. Perhaps I'll do the world a favor and get shot.
I just wanted to clarify, Zomboy, my 'Thanks' was not for your last two sentences, BUT for you sharing. Your honest sharing. It's become (at least in the area I live) taboo to speak of these strong ill feelings we feel.

Case in point--> My son said that now at school, if you use any derogatory towards another individual, INCLUDING stupid, etc. you can get suspended. It's not that I think people *should* be calling others stupid, idiot, etc. but here's what I do think (as if I was going to not share my opinion, HA!):

It has become SO taboo to speak of "negative" anything, that we're all turning into Stepford Wives. I remember when I was younger, kids yelling nonchalant in the schoolyard, "Oh my gosh I'm SO going to kill you." And now you can get suspended for saying, "God! Idiots!"? I know there are limits to what *should* be said to others, but it's to make this point. If it's on it's way to becoming socially accepted to hold in even smaller things like, "I'm with Stupid"....what the hell do we do with feelings like what Zomboy expresses?

The current generation in school are not only not being given coping skills for these intense feelings, they're not even be allowed to have them validated. It's absolutely maddening!

So I say, Hells No, Zomboy - you are bravely expressing the intensely deep feelings you are feeling, despite it being poo pood in current culture - it's what you feel. So say it. You are OBVIOUSLY trying to fight against these feelings, and are not mindlessly inflicting violence on people. You can't help it, & probably feel like the ONLY sane person in an insane world. And you know what, I DO feel like you sometimes.

So, my thanks to your post, was for being that brave and feeling safe enough to say it around us.
 

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If I could gather enough resources to allow me to meet my biological parents and talk with them for a few days. I would take a couple of months and visit all the places I have wanted to visit.

With say 2-3 months left, I think I would spend time with my family and either help people or maybe write a book about what it's like to have 6 months to live. I'm sure something like that has been written before, but if it helped someone out, it would be worth it.

That's all i can think of right now. Very hard to imagine.
 

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You know..I ask myself this question every now and then.
Most of the time, and in most of the replies I've read, you can ask yourself, after answering.
What is stopping me from doing this right now?

To answer this question for myself. What would I do?
If I'm honest with myself...probably nothing..right.
I want to do a lot. But am I going to do it? Probably not.
Why? Because dying in months does not really change who I am or how I act.

So I ask myself. What do I want to do if I do not have to be concerned on what happens after doing that?
Should I be concerned?
Only by asking myself enough questions. The right questions. I can really understand what I want.

I can say that now..my want to do list is also getting shorter..still I have lots of dreams and a scary amount of optimism inside of me, so the 'want to do's' will never end..but I don't mind.

Some of my internal conversations about this topic take a whole different side.
What would you do? It would be negative. Very..
I would release all of the anger and hate that I know I can have inside of me if I would choose for it.
I see myself as a sane person..but I have thoughts about just killing every m**f* a** on this planet.
But thats all they are...thoughts...
Should I be concerned after proceding with this...YES!
This question sets me straight.
 
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