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You mention John Lennon to someone 18 and they say WHO?

You are the only one that knows how to drive a column stick shift.

"Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.
 

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When you are on medicare and social security and folks are thinking it is time for you to start planning your funeral. Then "The Peppermint Twist" comes on the car radio, you hit the brakes, throw it in park, get out and twist your way through the intersection.

You get back in the car and your passengers give you the look, and you say "Whhaaattt?"
 

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When you realize that the somewhat older friends (and relatives) you had as a kid were born in the 1930’s.... and now they are all dead.

When your younger relatives have no idea who you are... and couldn’t care less.

When you realize you don’t have any younger friends.

When Medicare sends you a new card with a numerical code. And the code directs medical professionals not to revive, rehabilitate or otherwise reinvigorate you under any circumstances.

When you watch the same old shows on TV and don’t recognize any of the actors.

When you remember Harry Truman being president.

When your parents bought gasoline and told the attendant hi test and how many gallons they wanted. Of course they got green stamps they saved in a book.

When you remember seeing biplanes in the sky and thought nothing of it.

When you get advertisements in the mail from funeral homes announcing special sales and discounts.

When airplanes wrote advertising messages in the sky with smoke. It was called sky writing.

When your mother put Vitalis in your hair before you went to school.

When your allowance was 35 cents, and 5 dollars was a fortune.

When you remember silver dollars being in common use.

When your family listened to radio programs because you didn’t have TV. When you got a TV it had tubes instead of a remote. When you turned it on the picture was black and white. When you watched the news Douglas Edwards or John Camren Swazey told you how the Korean War was going.
 

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You borrow a child to open your childproof caps.

You're falling apart but going to the doctor is too much hassle.

Instead of looking for things to do, you look for ways not to do things.

You can't find your way around because signs have pictures instead of English.

You remember when the radio had tubes and you thought the tubes were little singers and announcers.

Your modern electronics are useless because the unit seems to have been built with some of the buttons missing and you threw out the remote because you don't need no stinkin remote.

You saw the movie Westworld with Yul Brynner when it first came out.

You remember Westerns.

You can't get used to the F-word being everywhere.

You remember when certain rock stars and movie stars were handsome.
 

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You borrow a child to open your childproof caps.

You're falling apart but going to the doctor is too much hassle.

Instead of looking for things to do, you look for ways not to do things.

You can't find your way around because signs have pictures instead of English.

You remember when the radio had tubes and you thought the tubes were little singers and announcers.

Your modern electronics are useless because the unit seems to have been built with some of the buttons missing and you threw out the remote because you don't need no stinkin remote.

You saw the movie Westworld with Yul Brynner when it first came out.

You remember Westerns.

You can't get used to the F-word being everywhere.

You remember when certain rock stars and movie stars were handsome.

Wow. Are you zeroed in on reality!

Good one, Island Light.
 

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You were told babies were delivered by a stork or found in a cabbage patch.

You were taught girls were always prim, polite and proper, as well as incapable of wrong doing.

You were taught that girls were demure and incapable of getting or passing gas.

You were taught girls never got hungry. They only nibbled to be polite and proper.

You were taught girls could faint or express shock at the slightest thing

You learned it was common and proper that wives disliked sex intensely, and only reluctantly endured their husbands vile tendencies.

You first heard the word vagina and thought someone was speaking Latin.
 

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Girls fainting at the slightest thing was more true of the 19th century than the 20th. They fainted because their corsets were tied so tight that they couldn't get a decent breath in. Also, because of the tightness of the corset, they could barely consume food. Fortunately, people don't wear corsets anymore.
 

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Girls fainting at the slightest thing was more true of the 19th century than the 20th. They fainted because their corsets were tied so tight that they couldn't get a decent breath in. Also, because of the tightness of the corset, they could barely consume food. Fortunately, people don't wear corsets anymore.
Can’t say I ever saw a female faint. What amazes me is the difference in what I commonly heard as a kid, and the way Americans behave today. Human behavior is a lot more open and genuine today then it was in the past. Still, some of it is pretty shocking. Maybe it takes a Boomer to understand that.

I did go on my first date when I was around 10. It was back in the day when Elvis was singing about Hound Dogs and Love Me Tender. A typical boy, I could have cared less, but a neighbor girl had taken a shine to me. She engineered the date, and I joined her and her parents at a restaurant for a spaghetti dinner. While packing my face I noticed her twirling her fork in her food, just staring at me, with a funny look on face. I didn’t get it back then, but I figured out girls don’t really eat, they just play in their food.

Now, decades later, I still can’t kick the thought that girls don’t really need to eat. They kinda just like going out, talking, and going to the ladies room in packs... talking all the while.

Odd, I know. It’s that old story. First impressions count.
 

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1. You know all the songs playing on the intercom at Home Depot, every word, and sing along.

2. "Together Time" with your spouse is going to Home Depot to pick up stuff for the house.

3. On family get-togethers, you sit at the end of a couch or out of the way recliner, eat your food and watch the TV if it is on, then leave early and think that "life is great". And, you go in a separate car from your spouse, so you can leave early.

4. An appetizer, when you were young, is now more than you can eat as a meal.

5. You still have a cassette player stereo in your den and great cassettes to play in it.

6. You and your "baby boomer" spouse remember all the old TV shows and commercials, and the lines pop up in daily conversation and kidding around. You know. . . . . "It's Mountain Grown. . . . the very best kind. . . "

7. You pull up next to a 1968 Camaro Z28 convertible at a stoplight and open your window so you can hear the sound of a "real engine".

8. You pull up next to a 1957 Corvette convertible at a stoplight and see a silver haired couple inside and think, "what a bunch of old farts".

9. You can write with a fountain pen, and your script is 1941/50 Palmer Business Cursive.

10. You start to realize/think/suspect that the only reason why a stranger flirts with you is because of the size of your retirement pension.

11. You don't need to do work or heavy lifting or athletics to have back pain. It hurts all the time anyway.
 

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On top of Old Smokey
All covered with sand
I shot Khrushchev
With a green rubber band

For some odd reason that popped into my head today & won't leave. We sang it in 1st grade & I forgot the rest of it but it made us laugh. Anyone else remember goofy songs from grade school?
 

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I know I'm getting old when 90 degrees is too hot to go outside & 40 is too cold. That's half the year. I was an all-weather kid. Rode bicycles when it was 115+ or 35. Worked outside when I was 42. No more. Sacramento had one season, Spring. Loved it. Thrilled that Autumn starts Monday! It will sink to a bone-chilling 92 here! 2 more weeks I'll go outside without getting lung infections.
 

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I actually caught myself the other day saying, “when I was your age ... “

Yeesh. :rolleyes:
 

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Getting up out of the recliner and not remembering what you got up for until you sit back down, proof the old age memory button is in your butt.
 

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Girls fainting at the slightest thing was more true of the 19th century than the 20th. They fainted because their corsets were tied so tight that they couldn't get a decent breath in. Also, because of the tightness of the corset, they could barely consume food. Fortunately, people don't wear corsets anymore.
Wait a second. Now you’re going to tell me that girls eat and breathe just like normal people? And that they don’t faint... That can’t be. You would be undoing the knowledge passed on to me in the first half of the last century. That would undermine the foundation of all that I have learned.

Before you know it someone will pipe up and try and tell me they can smoke cigarettes or drive automobiles. Well, honestly... I never...
 
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