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A take off on the "you know you're an INFJ when..." thread.

So what have been things that made you wonder if you might not be an INFJ? Or perhaps actually made you realize you aren't an INFJ if you are another type that had considered INFJ in the past?

Be as funny or serious as you'd like:).

Thank you for participating, INFJs and everyone else as well!!
 

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First things first.

You thought you were an INFJ, but it was me, Dio!

...ahem. I thought I couldn't be an INFJ because unlike various type descriptions, I am not all that organized. Plus, I always thought I was quite the lazy person. Turns out none of that means I can't be INFJ. My lack of organization only concern my physical surroundings. I clean my bedroom and organize things fairly often, but I will quickly have things all over the place again. It is just not my forte. I suppose that explains why I don't like having a lot of material beings, as they only make organizing things more time consuming, not to mention they are distracting.

As for being lazy, I am not actually lazy, but it took me a long time to figure out that. I just have very low levels of energy, in particular when it comes to physical activities. So, while I actually wish I wasn't, INFJ seems to be my type, after all.
 

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I fit the stereotypes quite well, to be honest. Yet, I have doubted my eye-and-eff-jay-hood...

... when I do a lot of stuff based on my feelings, confusing it for Fi.

... when I spend way too much time around INTPs and start to forget how to feel and polite.

... when I identify more with Commander Data the INTP humanity-striving android who technically has no feelings but is immensely interested in everything human.

... when I once went full ESTP for two days.

... when I would spend so much time around my INFP ex that I would lose myself entirely.
 

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I thought I might not have been an INFJ when I wasn't as "warm" or people-oriented as all the descriptions make us out to be. I was really considering ISTP or INTJ for awhile there.
 

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When I think about how I'm not very creative in the traditional artsty sense.

When I can muster absolutely no empathy for some people and their causes while hoping that karma spanks them hard.

When I start thinking more like a Terminator than John Connor.

The way I sometimes thrive under Se and seek the rush. Honestly, though, the way I flip into NiTi mode in moderate stress and full blown ESTP mode when threatened confirms INFJ to me. Hard to fake those responses.
 

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I would always feel really borderline with a couple of other types...

For example, I would always see my thinking trait being used, because sometimes I hide my feelings and emotional output, and sometimes I come off as extroverted around certain groups. But, the cognitive functions really affirm my INFJ-dom, with the introverted iNtuition and the tuned in Ex. Sensing combo--and I'm fairly confident about my Fe/Ti usage, too.

But, I've just come to accept that I'm an INFJ that also shares similarities between a few other types--especially the INTP, whom I really connect with.
 

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The way I sometimes thrive under Se and seek the rush. Honestly, though, the way I flip into NiTi mode in moderate stress and full blown ESTP mode when threatened confirms INFJ to me. Hard to fake those responses.
This!!
 
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I'll do this for my INFJ hubby because he mistyped himself initially and I didn't. So when he was younger, he would test as an ENTJ and he really identified with the whole Field Marshall thing. He didn't have a good understanding of how the cognitive functions work or how these types look in reality at the time. At the time, he was in college, he enjoyed getting in debates with people and arguing for his side. He felt like he was less in tune with how other people felt at that time and would try to win at any cost. In reality, he probably wasn't that harsh though. Anyways, this added to believing he was ENTJ.


A few years later he met me and we were dating so he wanted me to take the test (he had used it in the past to try to understand everyone better). I got INFJ, he retook it and got ENFJ. He read more about the ENFJ and felt that was a better fit (as did I). He realized before, he was just typing based on how he wanted to be rather than how he really is. Of course, that is before he actually met a real ENTJ (my dad) and realized, ya....I'm not an ENTJ and I'm kind of glad I'm not lol. But, for the record, my dad isn't the healthiest ENTJ.


He was actually very shy as a kid but broke out of that, became more extroverted because that is what our culture values. He does genuinely care about people, bringing them together, acting as a guide, is very supportive. So he'd play the extrovert and had himself fooled that he really was one. He burnt himself out in college helping out this group for awhile. And in the beginning, it was great. He was good at it and everyone liked him. But as he starts to burn himself out and over extend himself with others, the stress builds up and then his ESTP shadow comes out to play and a lot of people started seeing him as a monster after that. They didn't understand. They were confused. Also as a type 6 (he is a 6, like me) we sometimes over commit ourselves to things even when in reality, it's going to drain our energy. If most people met him for the first time, they would probably also be fooled into thinking he's an extrovert because he can be engaging, quite talkative but he considers it an act almost. As a shy INFJ myself, I don't do this so at the time, it was easier to just chalk that up to - oh, that's because he's extroverted and I'm not. But of course, that doesn't get to the heart of typology. Introversion is about more than that. His Ti was always much too developed for him to be ENFJ, in my opinion. I see the ugly side of inferior Se coming from him much more. And I have often felt like his Ni was more developed than mine which sometimes makes ME doubt I'm INFJ!
 

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Was second guessing being an INFP a long time ago because I didn't think that it was possible for me to have "the rarest personality type". Also I do a lot of things based on personal feelings (confused definition of Fi), and I didnt know the functions very well so I would blindly follow some "mbti tests" that told me INFP (its funny cause now i never test as INFP). The first test I took had me as INFJ, but I took the 16personalities test a couple months later and got INFP, so I looked up the differences on youtube and most people get to the main point of "youre probably not an INFJ because the mistype is so common", so I was just like "okay.. Im an INFP". About a month later, I felt like something was a little off, so I did some youtube research about INFJs and I felt like I related to them so much, so I was so confused for a while there. This is when I really got into typology and learned all about the functions, then in January I joined PerC and wanted to confirm I was actually an INFJ by posting my function results. Every cognitive function test Ive ever taken tests me as having dominant Ni and low Ne, so I knew I wasnt an INFP afterall.

Then I went through a faze of thinking I could've been an ISFJ due to my past understanding of Si. After learning more about the Ni/Si difference, that was scratched off. About two months ago I thought I could have been an INTJ due to my very logical nature and lack of extreme warmth that most INFJ descriptions exaggerate. I realized I did have an Fe/Ti axis and not a Te/Fi one, so I settled on INFJ because it just makes sense and it all just "clicks" lol. There are days when I have identity crisis's and I think I might be an ISFP, ENFJ, or INTJ, but I always snap out of it eventually.

(Uneeded INFJ advice): don't follow what the "mbti" tests say, and don't follow type descriptions. Learn about the cognitive functions and your stacking of them, and you should be set on your personality type.
 

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When I'm being outgoing or pursuing acting roles, people might think I'm an ENFJ. I know at least two ENFJ's in real life and I can absolutely see a very strong difference in my being Ni/Fe over Fe/Ni. Originally, when I took the actual MBTI test, my college professor began to favor me after. I think he enjoyed the fact that I tested as an INFJ. My roommate was in the same class and she could never understand why he thought the world of me. I think she ( my roommate ) was an ENXP. It was weird that the professor treated people differently based on their MBTI. I think enneagram and social variant can change how a person is viewed, as well. All,in all, most people don't want to accept that I am an introvert except my INFP's. They get it.
 

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I typed as INFJ when I first joined here. It's a common result on dichotomy and cognitive functions test and I've gotten feedback from others suggesting INFJ. It didn't take (very) long at all though for me to realize I'm definitely an Ne/Si user once I started to learn more about functions. Ni and Se are the hardest functions for me to understand, especially Se. I can't really imagine what it would be like to use either function. :confused:

Also, understanding Fe better made it obvious I'm not INFJ, because even though I'm still unsure if I use Fe or not or where it would fall in my stack, I don't think I could be an aux Fe user. I like and appreciate dom/aux Fe when I encounter it, but to me it appears to be some sort of magic. :shocked:
 

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When I stopped thinking that people were horrible. When I read lists and the fact that I can relate to most every other type in some way hits me square on (Sometimes I even relate more to other types! *gasp*).

Also when I started having a life.. and when I started realising I have feelings too, they take me to places I never knew existed.

Mostly when I forget how to be nice or feel things though.
 

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You thought you might not be an INFJ when someone comes over your house who has a fear of dogs and rather than feel any pity for them, you get annoyed at them, think to yourself that they are overreacting and being obsessive because your dog is harmless and old and feel more for the dog that he has to get locked away and no pity for the person whatsoever because you think about your dog as part of the family. (No, just me? Okay.)
 

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You thought you might not be an INFJ when someone comes over your house who has a fear of dogs and rather than feel any pity for them, you get annoyed at them, think to yourself that they are overreacting and being obsessive because your dog is harmless and old and feel more for the dog that he has to get locked away and no pity for the person whatsoever because you think about your dog as part of the family. (No, just me? Okay.)
I mean, I am the same way and my dog is not even old. In my house, my dog is the priority. She is family.
 

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when I procrastinate until the cows come home, and I am running late for everything. "A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to!" (Gandalf) It's why I'll almost always type as a P (or close to it) on dichotomy-based tests, because I don't really have much structure in my life. In Socionics, it's interesting that INFJs are considered INFps in order to reflect that INFJs lead with a perceiving function, and therefore are considered more adaptable types in their system. If you're interested: Socionics Dichotomies: Jp

I also am incapable of using schedules, planners, or calendars. My ability to organize my future according to those lasts only about a week. I really don't need them, and can keep everything in check in my head. This is basically my motto. One of these days...


I also think of how I was in the past, and how outgoing and extroverted I was as a kid, to the point where I was disciplined for talking too much in class. So, who knows that as a consequence of that I became more introverted? I would consider myself a strong introvert at this point, but even in high school, I could be somewhat hammy for friends. Whenever I meet new people, though, :ninja:

I'm also really silly at times and can seem ENFP-ish, but I can't keep my energy levels at that high for a long period of time, unlike real ENFPs.

I don't really enjoy counseling others either, despite being nicknamed by Keirsey as "The Counselor".

Lately, I've been typing as INTJ now on tests, so who even knows? :laughing:
 

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You thought you might not be an INFJ when someone comes over your house who has a fear of dogs and rather than feel any pity for them, you get annoyed at them, think to yourself that they are overreacting and being obsessive because your dog is harmless and old and feel more for the dog that he has to get locked away and no pity for the person whatsoever because you think about your dog as part of the family. (No, just me? Okay.)
I totally relate to this too. Some people really nurture their fears. It frustrates me when a parent has unintentionally taught their children to fear dogs as well. Why can't more people understand from the dog's point of view? Overreacting indeed. One of my dogs barks a lot when first meeting people. Some kids (and adults) get scared but I'm always so relieved when a little child comes over and hugs my dog fearlessly even though he's barking (because he's scared). I'm relieved when people understand him instead of seeing his barking as a nuisance or something to be frightened of. The ones who understand animals will be like "I understand. My dog is the same way. He's just scared." And no, he doesn't bite. My dogs and cats are definitely like my children as well.
 

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You thought you might not be an INFJ when . . .

I'm sitting in therapy and I have my extrovert in my left hand and my introvert in the right hand and I am wondering who on earth is that stranger holding onto these people.

And your therapist says, “That's very interesting, which one would you like to be”.
 

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You thought you might not be an INFJ when your mind is on the past a lot and are affected a lot by nostalgia when you know that a lot of type descriptions describe us as being future-oriented and not so much focusing on the past.
 
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You thought you might not be an INFJ when your mind is on the past a lot and are affected a lot by nostalgia when you know that a lot of type descriptions describe us as being future-oriented and not so much focusing on the past.
Makes one wonder if she isn't an ISFJ instead. I find myself living in the past every now and then, too.
 
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