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Break up.

It isn't worth the emotional investment to be with someone who will go behind your back and be dishonest with you. Honesty and trust are the foundations to any successful relationship, so if you're willing to violate both then either I'm not providing enough in the relationship or they're someone who isn't worth my time. In both cases the relationship is doomed so you may as well cut it off as quickly as possible and move on.

Luckily I've never been put in this situation.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Break up.

It isn't worth the emotional investment to be with someone who will go behind your back and be dishonest with you. Honesty and trust are the foundations to any successful relationship, so if you're willing to violate both then either I'm not providing enough in the relationship or they're a deceitful bitch who isn't worth my time. In both cases the relationship is doomed so you may as well cut it off as quickly as possible and move on.

Luckily I've never been put in this situation.
I agree with your position. I've been cheated once, but I decided to ignore it, in order to see how it will influence the relationship. And honestly, it didn't really make any bad influence.

After some time, now, I put my relationship on the edge of the cliff, which led my S/O to decide to take a break from the relationship. I know she is flirting with one guy, whom she is attracted to, and I anticipate that this is the end of the relationship.

I want to break up, yet I am asking myself when to do it.
Basically, she hasn't seen her family for a long time, and she'll travel on this Saturday to stay with it for a couple of days.
I am wondering should I do break up before she meets her family, this way she has the support of people that care about her( if she'll need any support, the fact that she needs a break and is flirting with others shows that this must be what she wants) or after visiting her family, so that the time spent with her family would be more enjoyable and stress-free. Any suggestions?

Sorry for my bad English, it's not my native tongue.
 

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I agree with your position. I've been cheated once, but I decided to ignore it, in order to see how it will influence the relationship. And honestly, it didn't really make any bad influence.

After some time, now, I put my relationship on the edge of the cliff, which led my S/O to decide to take a break from the relationship. I know she is flirting with one guy, whom she is attracted to, and I anticipate that this is the end of the relationship.

I want to break up, yet I am asking myself when to do it.
Basically, she hasn't seen her family for a long time, and she'll travel on this Saturday to stay with it for a couple of days.
I am wondering should I do break up before she meets her family, this way she has the support of people that care about her( if she'll need any support, the fact that she needs a break and is flirting with others shows that this must be what she wants) or after visiting her family, so that the time spent with her family would be more enjoyable and stress-free. Any suggestions?

Sorry for my bad English, it's not my native tongue.
Since you clearly still care quite a bit about her i'd wait until after she comes back. If she needs emotional support she will always have other methods of communication she can use, however she wont be able to ignore the break-up if you do it before. Besides who knows how her attitude will change after the trip, it could make things easier. It's up to you, and you should get a greater consensus on the subject than just me: Posting this in the relationship questions sticky should be helpful.
 

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I don't know my MBTI type for certain -I may not be an ENTJ so don't take my advice seriously- but I got cheated once. I pretended to ignore it but I held a grunge which consumed me. I felt love and hate towards the same person for a long time, but slowly each day, hate ascended. I didn't have the balls to do it, but you should break up when you are cheated on. The partner obviously didn't appreciate you, and wasting time over shitty people is futile. If you can't trust your partner, that asshole doesn't deserve being called your partner.
 
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I agree with your position. I've been cheated once, but I decided to ignore it, in order to see how it will influence the relationship. And honestly, it didn't really make any bad influence.

After some time, now, I put my relationship on the edge of the cliff, which led my S/O to decide to take a break from the relationship. I know she is flirting with one guy, whom she is attracted to, and I anticipate that this is the end of the relationship.

I want to break up, yet I am asking myself when to do it.
Basically, she hasn't seen her family for a long time, and she'll travel on this Saturday to stay with it for a couple of days.
I am wondering should I do break up before she meets her family, this way she has the support of people that care about her( if she'll need any support, the fact that she needs a break and is flirting with others shows that this must be what she wants) or after visiting her family, so that the time spent with her family would be more enjoyable and stress-free. Any suggestions?

Sorry for my bad English, it's not my native tongue.
Do it ASAP so you can stop thinking about it as soon as possible.
 

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Only a couple of weeks ago, I found out my partner was exchanging photos and talking dirty to a girl interstate. I broke up with him on the spot. Yes, he was my first love and yes, I could see the terrible regret on his face.. which was probably the regret of getting caught.

Why would I want to be someone who clearly doesn't respect me and was willing to risk everything we had for a transitory moment of self indulgence? People like that, cheaters, deserve to be single. Before you cut her off completely make sure you get answers and closure, she owes you that much! It turns out I did provide more than enough in my relationship but my partner just turned out to be an ego-maniac who needed constant online validation. This made me realise this person wasn't worth any more of my time and hence, makes moving on a lot easier.
 

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Hello.

I wonder what would you do if you were cheated by your girlfriend or boyfriend.
If have kids, make a sincere second go at it. Try to figure out my failings and why s/he might have strayed. If have failings that are fixable, fix them. Work hard on rebuilding intimacy and trust, but only after putting out feelings and hard line rules in place to set foundation.

If no have kids seriously weight their remorse against their actions and past history. Pray if it is "worth" it and seek counsel. Ask why they did what they did so I can understand. Meditate more on actions, my feelings and what is. Then decide to let go or not.

But all of the above only after an epic, epic cry underneath a cold shower....
 

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If have kids, make a sincere second go at it. Try to figure out my failings and why s/he might have strayed. If have failings that are fixable, fix them. Work hard on rebuilding intimacy and trust, but only after putting out feelings and hard line rules in place to set foundation.

If no have kids seriously weight their remorse against their actions and past history. Pray if it is "worth" it and seek counsel. Ask why they did what they did so I can understand. Meditate more on actions, my feelings and what is. Then decide to let go or not.

But all of the above only after an epic, epic cry underneath a cold shower....
The idea of such sounds terrible.
 

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I agree with your position. I've been cheated once, but I decided to ignore it, in order to see how it will influence the relationship. And honestly, it didn't really make any bad influence.

After some time, now, I put my relationship on the edge of the cliff, which led my S/O to decide to take a break from the relationship. I know she is flirting with one guy, whom she is attracted to, and I anticipate that this is the end of the relationship.

I want to break up, yet I am asking myself when to do it.
Basically, she hasn't seen her family for a long time, and she'll travel on this Saturday to stay with it for a couple of days.
I am wondering should I do break up before she meets her family, this way she has the support of people that care about her( if she'll need any support, the fact that she needs a break and is flirting with others shows that this must be what she wants) or after visiting her family, so that the time spent with her family would be more enjoyable and stress-free. Any suggestions?

Sorry for my bad English, it's not my native tongue.
Action should reflect the moment of Truth. It is a lie to be in a relationship with her if you don't want to be. She will thank you for having spared the her the wasted time of the illusion (well, she might notthank you, but I think in some way she might actually feel relieved for closure rather than anticipation).
 

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Action should reflect the moment of Truth. It is a lie to be in a relationship with her if you don't want to be. She will thank you for having spared the her the wasted time of the illusion (well, she might notthank you, but I think in some way she might actually feel relieved for closure rather than anticipation).
It rarely works out that way. The truth rarely comes out, and the actions typically belie the words.
 

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This one is easy. If they break the rules we've established in the relationships, I cut them loose. My reaction always feels very unemotional. We agreed on those boundaries together so if she doesn't want to keep to them then I know we don't want the same things anymore. And that's fine. Just don't expect me to change my mind about what I too.
 

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This one is easy. If they break the rules we've established in the relationships, I cut them loose. My reaction always feels very unemotional. We agreed on those boundaries together so if she doesn't want to keep to them then I know we don't want the same things anymore. And that's fine. Just don't expect me to change my mind about what I too.
It's irrelevant but you appearantly metamorphosed into an ENTJ. I used to see more Fi than Se in you but this post literally confirmed that you're inferior Fi. So kudos for managing to discover your true type
 

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Hello.

I wonder what would you do if you were cheated by your girlfriend or boyfriend.
Girlfriend? I'd dump her immediately, I don't play those games. Maybe if I was 10 years into a marriage with kids and it's the first time, I'd consider doing some counseling over it to see what happened and see if we can fix it, but otherwise time to move on.
 

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I consider relationship to be an agreement between two people. They can alter the rules to the liking of both sides but once the rules are broken, continuing it is self damaging. Personally, I wouldn't be able to deal with it in any other way than break up. Trust and loyalty is important to me and once my partner betrays both, it's game over. Besides, I agree with the statement that what you do once you can do again. I want my relationships to be relaxing and not emotionally draining. Once I made the mistake of continuing a relationship even though the rules were broken over and over (and it was something much smaller than cheating) by my girlfriend and it proved to have been a bad call. So I definitely wouldn't do it again.
 

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Ultimate betrayel. For me it's over. What hurts me is the fact that that person went behind my back. I don't care if you fucked someone else. Just have the balls to say it. I will atleast know what I'm dealing with. But for someone else to do whatever they want and then decide for me that I still want to be in that relationship, that I cannot forgive.
 

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Completely remove them from my life and go on like nothing happened so they don't get any satisfaction. I'm talking a full blackout/full excommunication-- phone, social media, mutual friends, work, etc.

Happened to me in '09 when I just started college at UCLA and it nearly sunk my GPA. Turned it around, threw all my anger/energy and attention into academics, graduated summa cum laude, 38R on the MCAT, 1560 on the GRE, and was accepted to a slew of grad schools. Accepted her as a facebook friend 5 years later just so she could see how well I was doing but always kept her at arm's length. No grudge harbored, but no residual love remains.
 

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Leave. They (even potentially, in the case of the other party not knowing) have decided to give someone else the satisfaction of 'stealing' them/their attention away from me. It's (or would be) a massive ego boost, and now that someone would always think that they're 'better' than me for my partner have strayed.

They clearly no longer/do not care about how their action would hurt me. They wasted enough of my time.
 
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