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Young INFJ - Is Being A Child A Handicap?

1443 Views 13 Replies 12 Participants Last post by  Devrim
For some odd reason, PerC won’t let me create a new paragraphin…. So, I’m using word. NOT SURE HOW FAR THIS’LL GO. *cringes* :frustrating:

Back to the topic, “Is Childhood A Handicap?” – I’m serious. Why do I go toschool everyday? So I could learn, and gain life and book knowledge? (Which Ienjoy doing, honestly.)

But it often doesn’t feel like that. I often feel like I’m sitting in a class,being lectured, picked on, and dumbed down to/on. By people who often haveLITTLE to NO understanding of ME as a character on ALL LEVELS.

I know school is good and such, but – I often always get out of school thinking“Why do I feel depressed? Why do I feel unaccomplished? Why do I feel like Icould do more, but nobody gives a second thought on my person and feelings asmuch as they should?” :rolleyes:

I feel like I’m wasting my life sometimes, stranded with my peers. When I havea better understanding for myself, on the kind of people, and the kind of way Iwant/go about my own future and such. :confused:

I feel like my life is being drained because in society and as a socialstandard, as a child. I often am looked down upon, and sometimes people mistreatbecause of it. Like I’m stupid, like I’m worthless, like I have to do whateveryone else does because I’m some MEANINGLESS person in the long run? :unsure:

I mean, as I’ve said. School will help me as I learn and such. But - life as a kid in general(Basically on goingto school, and being around my peers most of the time and etc. are all of whatlife is like for me and kids in general – as I’ve noticed for the most part.)is often demeaning, and it’s like I can’t go towards what I want all of thetime, like I have to be like everyone else. Like, I have to wait and do this,until I’m older, or I can’t do this because I have all of these other things todo.

And for what? A lot of the things I do are things that really won’t help me inwhat I truly want to do later on. And if they do, why do I have to spend a lotof extra time with such people and standards, when I could just do it my ownway, experience, learn, and plan what I WANT/SHOULD do. :dry:

Sorry, I know I just sound like some ranting, inexperienced 14 year old. But,isn’t that what people in general think of me?:sad: Like, my age, my looks, the wayI talk, the way I learn, etc. Is how people superficially judge me. And in someway ‘force’ me to live my own life in a way, I don’t know what it’ll do for me,versus what I can do for MYSELF – just because I’m young, or I need experience,or I have to do this this way, because I’m just like “everyone else”. When Ireally want to contemplate my own significance, and self-discover myself. Or Iwant to find a way to contribute, change, or help things in society, and etc.

THAT, is what has consumed my mind lately. And, I really want to speak tosomeone about it. I just want someone to connect, or understand how I feel. It’sSO HARD dealing with the frustration I get sometimes when I think of thingslike this.:crying:

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Childhood has its trade-offs. In the beginning, one may not know how the world works, how to play various sports or how to engage in conversation that can be useful things learned in grade school. There can also be something to be said for how to play with others, handle conflict and more than a few other interesting points at the super young side of things. Would you want everyone to just learn what they want and have chaos? The modern education system that exists has only been around for a couple hundred years. You do realize there are millions of children in the world that want school and have what would otherwise seem ludicrous distances to go to get to school, right? I'm talking about children walking for an hour or more each way to take in a few hours of schooling.

At the same time consider how well you are learning to conform and fit a mold. Granted you don't like it but that isn't the point. The point is to get used to following teachers and doing what one is told, at least this is part of what I remember from my early school years.

Some courses may be dumbed down where you already know this and thus it isn't useful for you. However, how many other students are in that class? Maybe a few of them would like to know this stuff. At some point in the system things turn and you get some choice at least as I recall high school and university. You may also consider figuring out how you learn and what stuff suits you in terms of future pursuits. After all, it isn't like school is that much of your day to day life is it? From what time in the morning till when in the afternoon are you in class and consider all the weekends off and holidays that you could actually use to build that... uummm what do they call it... oh yeah a life! What do you do in non-school time as I'm pretty sure you don't have school and sleep as your only activities in a day.

As for coming out of school depressed, what kind of mentality do you have about your day. Is Monday going to be horrible because you are being dragged into a building where you are forced to dance like a trained animal? If you have that attitude, I could see why you'd come out depressed. On the other hand, could you find another way of seeing the opportunity you have with school to study various subjects and master how you learn as chances are this will be a ridiculously valuable skill in the future unless you already know your job path and there is no educational component to it, which I highly doubt.

Do you have clubs or extra curricular activities that may brighten things up? That would be part of the power in having the choice to see things from various views. If you are so concerned about your thoughts and feelings, why don't you shift them by having goals and dreams where having an education may well play a role.

If you really want to claim that school is pointless, why not talk your parents into letting you go for a GED and then go onto the next point in life? There may be possibilities beyond the, "Woe is me, life sucks" victim mentality you appear to have here. Were you aware of a General Equivalence Degree?

You do realize that some of what is in place is for your own good right? There is still some brain development you'll have for the next decade and there is puberty and its differences that may be a factor to consider here. Part of the challenge in life is figuring out what do you want and how will you organize your life to get there.

If you approach people from a, "Oh poor me, have pity and let me do what I want..." then chances are they may well want to slap you. On the other hand if you can demonstrate that you do know what you want, have done your homework and thus are prepared to accept the responsibility and consequences from it things could be a wee bit different. Consider the idea of would you want to drive with someone that doesn't know the parts of a car that a driver uses? Like, let's take the person that doesn't know what a gas pedal, brake or windshield wipers are and put them in a car. Would you want to drive with that person? Probably not. On the other hand, if you had someone that knew the pieces of a car and was rather responsible then it may be a bit different, no?

Given the number of typos in your post, I do think some people may have a hard time believing you can communicate effectively and work well with others. You are aware that there were a bunch of missing spaces in your post that can make you look even younger or that you don't care about how much work others may have to do to understand you. 4 XMP, |_| U | zis? (Where that last sentence was somewhat a graphical representation of the sentence, "For example, can you read this?" where I tried abbreviating some things, use symbols in other places and just shorten words for kicks.
I can’t believe what I’ve just read. I feel as if I’ve beenthoroughly insulted, and attacked. Because every misinterpretation andassumption you made of me, was miles off.

I am aware of that many people love to go to school everyday, and want tolearn, I even said that myself. But, whatyou were saying was completely off topic, and not what I was meaning.

I have a life, I have quite a few extracalicular activities I plan by myself,attend, and inform whoever I need to. I am social, I do not wear a freakingsign on my head that says “My life sucks, because I have none, because I’m aselfish bastard.” I often try to spark new ideas with people, trying to expressmyself to ‘friends/people.’ And I go to school thinking ‘Today, with be abetter day, I got everything I need, and etc.’

And most of what I get in return, is that I’m told or implied most of the timeI go into school. That I’m stupid. Teachers don’t often do much about it, whenI – and others try to learn. And there are people who disrupt the classroom,mess with people, make a fool of themselves.

And I’m(And others) are punished for trying to express ourselves as individualsmost of the time. People don’t listen tome often, and the same goes with others I’ve seen. – I am planning to go on tocollege and etc. I want to be a Psychologist, an Author, Neurologist, Activist(Or some kind of speaker), Engineer, Doctor, Actor , and so on. And I know school is a bigpart for me to get there, but what I’m meaning behind my entire post. (Which,you obviously thought was some stupid kid complaining about his life, where youdidn’t even know what it was like.) Is that, why do I have to deal with socialstandards and people, DEALING with ADULT PERCEPTION(Which IS NOT ALWAYS BAD)but often very demeaning and etc. When, I could just go on my own waysometimes? Why, because I’m a kid(?), that people often tell me I’m selfish,inconsiderate, meaningless, depressed, misunderstand, and condescend merepeatedly, because THEY THOUHGT they KNEW how I was feeling.

But, all of what they told me – was the exact reason, of why I feel the way Ido. Me, being me, me thinking the thought process I do, feeling the way I do -was something to feel bad about.

I’m tired of holding back my emotions, often – when I shouldn’t. I’m not adepressed, stupid kid as what you’ve implied. I’m very happy, I train my mindoften, I make plans, I think deeply, and fantasize huge dreams one day, mostdays. I just often wish I had an outside source that would be able to connectwith me, how I’m feeling – because other days, I contemplate and wonder why Ifeel, want, or should do this or that. Not because I'm an insecure low life, I actually CARE about people, family, my goals, and MYSELF. Not listen other people’s judgment orperception. OR LACK OF EMPATHY.
@absyrd – Thank you. I’m being very hormonal, excuse me.

Goodnight to you, jbking. I’m not going to say anymore.

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