Young INFJ - Is Being A Child A Handicap?
For some odd reason, PerC won’t let me create a new paragraphin…. So, I’m using word. NOT SURE HOW FAR THIS’LL GO. *cringes* :frustrating:
Back to the topic, “Is Childhood A Handicap?” – I’m serious. Why do I go toschool everyday? So I could learn, and gain life and book knowledge? (Which Ienjoy doing, honestly.)
But it often doesn’t feel like that. I often feel like I’m sitting in a class,being lectured, picked on, and dumbed down to/on. By people who often haveLITTLE to NO understanding of ME as a character on ALL LEVELS.
I know school is good and such, but – I often always get out of school thinking“Why do I feel depressed? Why do I feel unaccomplished? Why do I feel like Icould do more, but nobody gives a second thought on my person and feelings asmuch as they should?”
I feel like I’m wasting my life sometimes, stranded with my peers. When I havea better understanding for myself, on the kind of people, and the kind of way Iwant/go about my own future and such.
I feel like my life is being drained because in society and as a socialstandard, as a child. I often am looked down upon, and sometimes people mistreatbecause of it. Like I’m stupid, like I’m worthless, like I have to do whateveryone else does because I’m some MEANINGLESS person in the long run?
I mean, as I’ve said. School will help me as I learn and such. But - life as a kid in general(Basically on goingto school, and being around my peers most of the time and etc. are all of whatlife is like for me and kids in general – as I’ve noticed for the most part.)is often demeaning, and it’s like I can’t go towards what I want all of thetime, like I have to be like everyone else. Like, I have to wait and do this,until I’m older, or I can’t do this because I have all of these other things todo.
And for what? A lot of the things I do are things that really won’t help me inwhat I truly want to do later on. And if they do, why do I have to spend a lotof extra time with such people and standards, when I could just do it my ownway, experience, learn, and plan what I WANT/SHOULD do. :dry:
Sorry, I know I just sound like some ranting, inexperienced 14 year old. But,isn’t that what people in general think of me?:sad: Like, my age, my looks, the wayI talk, the way I learn, etc. Is how people superficially judge me. And in someway ‘force’ me to live my own life in a way, I don’t know what it’ll do for me,versus what I can do for MYSELF – just because I’m young, or I need experience,or I have to do this this way, because I’m just like “everyone else”. When Ireally want to contemplate my own significance, and self-discover myself. Or Iwant to find a way to contribute, change, or help things in society, and etc.
THAT, is what has consumed my mind lately. And, I really want to speak tosomeone about it. I just want someone to connect, or understand how I feel. It’sSO HARD dealing with the frustration I get sometimes when I think of thingslike this.:crying:
Back to the topic, “Is Childhood A Handicap?” – I’m serious. Why do I go toschool everyday? So I could learn, and gain life and book knowledge? (Which Ienjoy doing, honestly.)
But it often doesn’t feel like that. I often feel like I’m sitting in a class,being lectured, picked on, and dumbed down to/on. By people who often haveLITTLE to NO understanding of ME as a character on ALL LEVELS.
I know school is good and such, but – I often always get out of school thinking“Why do I feel depressed? Why do I feel unaccomplished? Why do I feel like Icould do more, but nobody gives a second thought on my person and feelings asmuch as they should?”
I feel like I’m wasting my life sometimes, stranded with my peers. When I havea better understanding for myself, on the kind of people, and the kind of way Iwant/go about my own future and such.
I feel like my life is being drained because in society and as a socialstandard, as a child. I often am looked down upon, and sometimes people mistreatbecause of it. Like I’m stupid, like I’m worthless, like I have to do whateveryone else does because I’m some MEANINGLESS person in the long run?
I mean, as I’ve said. School will help me as I learn and such. But - life as a kid in general(Basically on goingto school, and being around my peers most of the time and etc. are all of whatlife is like for me and kids in general – as I’ve noticed for the most part.)is often demeaning, and it’s like I can’t go towards what I want all of thetime, like I have to be like everyone else. Like, I have to wait and do this,until I’m older, or I can’t do this because I have all of these other things todo.
And for what? A lot of the things I do are things that really won’t help me inwhat I truly want to do later on. And if they do, why do I have to spend a lotof extra time with such people and standards, when I could just do it my ownway, experience, learn, and plan what I WANT/SHOULD do. :dry:
Sorry, I know I just sound like some ranting, inexperienced 14 year old. But,isn’t that what people in general think of me?:sad: Like, my age, my looks, the wayI talk, the way I learn, etc. Is how people superficially judge me. And in someway ‘force’ me to live my own life in a way, I don’t know what it’ll do for me,versus what I can do for MYSELF – just because I’m young, or I need experience,or I have to do this this way, because I’m just like “everyone else”. When Ireally want to contemplate my own significance, and self-discover myself. Or Iwant to find a way to contribute, change, or help things in society, and etc.
THAT, is what has consumed my mind lately. And, I really want to speak tosomeone about it. I just want someone to connect, or understand how I feel. It’sSO HARD dealing with the frustration I get sometimes when I think of thingslike this.:crying:
