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For some odd reason, PerC won’t let me create a new paragraphin…. So, I’m using word. NOT SURE HOW FAR THIS’LL GO. *cringes* :frustrating:

Back to the topic, “Is Childhood A Handicap?” – I’m serious. Why do I go toschool everyday? So I could learn, and gain life and book knowledge? (Which Ienjoy doing, honestly.)

But it often doesn’t feel like that. I often feel like I’m sitting in a class,being lectured, picked on, and dumbed down to/on. By people who often haveLITTLE to NO understanding of ME as a character on ALL LEVELS.

I know school is good and such, but – I often always get out of school thinking“Why do I feel depressed? Why do I feel unaccomplished? Why do I feel like Icould do more, but nobody gives a second thought on my person and feelings asmuch as they should?” :rolleyes:

I feel like I’m wasting my life sometimes, stranded with my peers. When I havea better understanding for myself, on the kind of people, and the kind of way Iwant/go about my own future and such. :confused:

I feel like my life is being drained because in society and as a socialstandard, as a child. I often am looked down upon, and sometimes people mistreatbecause of it. Like I’m stupid, like I’m worthless, like I have to do whateveryone else does because I’m some MEANINGLESS person in the long run? :unsure:

I mean, as I’ve said. School will help me as I learn and such. But - life as a kid in general(Basically on goingto school, and being around my peers most of the time and etc. are all of whatlife is like for me and kids in general – as I’ve noticed for the most part.)is often demeaning, and it’s like I can’t go towards what I want all of thetime, like I have to be like everyone else. Like, I have to wait and do this,until I’m older, or I can’t do this because I have all of these other things todo.

And for what? A lot of the things I do are things that really won’t help me inwhat I truly want to do later on. And if they do, why do I have to spend a lotof extra time with such people and standards, when I could just do it my ownway, experience, learn, and plan what I WANT/SHOULD do. :dry:

Sorry, I know I just sound like some ranting, inexperienced 14 year old. But,isn’t that what people in general think of me?:sad: Like, my age, my looks, the wayI talk, the way I learn, etc. Is how people superficially judge me. And in someway ‘force’ me to live my own life in a way, I don’t know what it’ll do for me,versus what I can do for MYSELF – just because I’m young, or I need experience,or I have to do this this way, because I’m just like “everyone else”. When Ireally want to contemplate my own significance, and self-discover myself. Or Iwant to find a way to contribute, change, or help things in society, and etc.

THAT, is what has consumed my mind lately. And, I really want to speak tosomeone about it. I just want someone to connect, or understand how I feel. It’sSO HARD dealing with the frustration I get sometimes when I think of thingslike this.:crying:
I am so gosh darn impressed with you young man,you are obviously articulate and extremely intelligent, I look out the window at the 14 year olds I see walking down the st in red (that's the mongrel mob) on of the 2 major gangs here in nz,they are drunk,and throwing beer bottles at eachother.... and then I read your thread, and im like wow.You are the absolute opposite of these thugs in training,you are in touch with your feelings you have insight far beyond your years,its um quite humbling.I think because of your advanced awareness about life in general, that the questions and thoughts you have about life,your problems etc will seem much more intense, but let me tell you, you have a good head on your youthful shoulders, you will find your place in the world, spare a thought for the kids I described, born into drug and alcohol abuse,emotionally stunted,its a friggin travesty.But you, I think your going to figure out one day how awesome you really are:happy: take care.
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