[ohmyitschels]

So, I got married at a young age (I was 18 and he was 19) and it's hard to find people who took that same plunge and are living well. I was just wondering if there were any other people out there who got married between the ages of 18 and 21. How did your family react? Mine was pissed. Lol. How are you living now? Any regrets? Are you happy? Come on, give me the juicey deets...or the ones you're willing to share.

 

[Fizz]

I know someone who was married before 18, so you can have a wider age range on this. In some states in the US they do allow younger marriages with parental consent.

 

[Nope]

So are you living well? I know of some people that got married at 18 and I know there families were pissed? And i personally thought, why??

 

[nádej]

One of my best friends/neighbors from when I was a kid got pregnant at 19, dropped out of college, got married, and had the baby. She's twenty-three now, has another kid, is still married, and is going back to school working to become an RN. She's very happy, the kids are adorable, she and her husband are still in love with each other, and they are doing quite well...much to a number of people's surprise.

One of my best friends from high school recently got pregnant at age 20, got married, had the baby, and is similarly back at school, still married, and very happy.

It can be done.

 

[Vivid Melody]

I got married at 18, husband was 23. Been married for nearly six years now. My family was not happy about it but that was because I met him online, not so much about my age although I'm sure my mom used that as an excuse some where in there. It's a long story so I'll spare you. They got over it...eventually and things are actually good between us now. We are actually currently living with them now in order to help them out financially (they're struggling). Unfortunately, both of my husband's parents died within the past four years and so we wanted to also be closer to my family. No regrets and yes, we're more than happy. No babies yet in case you were wondering.

 

[Coburn]

Unfortunately, the two people I know who married at 18 are now divorced (neither marriage lasted more than 18 months).

 

[Enfpleasantly]

I got married at 20 to my HS sweetheart; he was 21 when we got married. We got together when we were 16 and 17. We are still married 10 years later.

My family was happy when we got married because they knew him well, and loved him. We often laugh and wonder how many people thought we got married young because of pregnancy, haha. That wasn't the case for us; we just wanted to be married to each other.

We have had some rough patches, especially lately because we have literally had to make it through major shifts in going from teens, to young adults, to adults together. We are like completely different people from when we first met because of growth, but we are still fundamentally the same people. So we've had to learn how to mesh that together. It's not easy, and many do not make it through.

Also, because we got together so young and immature, we had a lot of dysfunctional habits when we argued. It takes a conscious effort to stop a behavior habit. I strongly believe that for a couple to make it when they got together young, they have to continuously make their relationship grow and mature right along with them.

Never lose respect for each other and never forget boundaries. I think a lot of couples who start out young together get too comfortable with each other in these areas. Yes, I said too comfortable. I used to think we had a strong relationship because we shared everything. I realized down the road that it's far more beautiful to be separate people who love and accept each other for who they are, and respect those differences rather than becoming one being who shares everything.

 

[DarkWarrior]

Age doesn't matter maturity does, they are many times related to each other, however it isn't a direct conversion.

 

[JamieBond]

I saw this thread and the first thing that popped into my mind was the scene from "Princess Bride"....

(not meant to derail. I do believe young marriaged can happen.)

 

[ohmyitschels]

Wow. You all have shared some nice stories so far. Well, guess I should give a little background to my own young marriage.

My husband and I got together when I was about to turn 15 and he was 16. After 3 years of dating we got married when I was 18 and he was 19. Oh man. I guess the way we did it was not so good. Well, I know it wasn't the best. But I won't get into that. Bottom line is, I didn't have much support because my family thought I was about to throw my life away and get pregnant and stop going to college and just be submissive to him. Totally not the case. In fact, I am doing quite well. No babies. Still in school. On a good track to graduate. I work. I manage money and time. He goes to school. He has a job now (after about 6 months of job search troubles) and we are happy. Only thing we need now is a new car.

It's stressful, most definitely but it's also rewarding. I love being married to him. I love that I'm getting to find myself with him and by myself, if that makes sense. We are opposites but we do come together at the core. We're both INFJ personality types. I don't regret getting married at all. I hope we have many more years together. And I feel that we will because we learn to communicate with each other more. Communication is key. I can't stress that enough.

 

[Lightlilly]

I got married at 19 he was 25 (ISFJ) he is perfect for me except he hurts me sometimes but I may just be too sensitive I don't know

like he's got a bit of a porn addiction....it makes me feel like shit...I don't want to explain why
and then we have different preferences but overall the only problems we have are sexual preference problems...has nothing to do with how often just how we like it -_-

other than that he's my best friend

he has a terminal illness cystic fibrosis, wasnt expected to live past 24 but hes 26 now, and quite healthy, we don't make much combined like 28k a yr but we live comfortably enough, my parents weren't mad at me, but his family was, not his abusive mom that tried to kill him on more than one occasion and tried to get him addicted to coke or his dad that he didn't even meet till he was 21 but his aunt and uncle that he lived with for a while didn't like me at first, I think they thought I was some sort of slut which isn't true....never even slept with anyone but my husband lol

 

[Persephone]

Why are y'all INFJs (except one)?

 

[zelder]

My wife was 19 when I married her and I was 22. We have been married for 10 years, we have three kids and we are happy. I have no regrets. It's pretty common in my Mormon culture for people to get married young so most people in our families were supportive but there were a few who thought we were too young.

My older brother eloped with his girlfriend in Las Vegas when he was 18! They have been married 25 years now and even though he is only 43, his three kids are grown up and he recently became a grandpa!

 

[Memphisto]

I was 18 when I got married...was married for 15 years. Looking back I can't say I regret it because I loved him then and I love him now. But it definitely wasn't easy and I wouldn't recommend it.

I ended the marriage because it became toxic...and after leaving found out he had bipolar disorder the entire time and had always refused any kind of treatment. Although he didn't mean for it to happen, the relationship became emotionally abuse...so I left and can't go back.

My family wasn't happy but you can't always tell a teen-ager what to do...of course I knew everything! We are both INFP's....and we're in love...good luck breaking that up.

We shared a lot of good times and I was happy for much of the relationship despite the hardships. But if I had a child that wanted to get married at 18 I think I would lock them in a closet or something...

 

[Laney]

My husband and I have been married a year, together three years and we are 23( him) and 20 (me). We also have a 14 month old boy named Alistair :3 . His family was pretty happy, and my family was pretty neutral and that's the way it's been since we first met. My family took my pregnancy as a personal affront and my in laws welcomed me with open arms . It has not been an easy journey, but we've had a lot of fun on the way. He joined the Navy last year and that has helped us a lot financially and emotionally. We've been apart for the last 7 months but we're relatively happy. The biggest hurdle for us is overcoming personality differences. He is an ISTP and I'm an.. well it's either INFP or ISFJ, not sure. If I had been older when we had first met I'm not sure if I would have tried to develop a relationship with him though, but now that we're here I'm all in.

 

[Redwood]

One of the biggest correlations for a successful marriage, regardless of your age, is this: a willingness to stick it out. Pretty much everyone surveyed during a tough time in their marriage were happy again a few years later and very thankful that they stayed together.

 

[koalaroo]

Every couple I personally know that married young is now divorced. I am not exaggerating, either.

 

[Fizz]

Every couple I personally know that married young is now divorced. I am not exaggerating, either.

Statistics also don't look upon them favorably but I keep my mouth shut when they're around :laughing: I've read that the divorce rate of people under 25 is twice as high as people who waited until after they turned 25. That's not to say that ALL marriages to people under 25 will fail, I'm not implying that, it's just that they have a lessened chance of success OR "I refuse to divorce this piece of shit because I don't want to be a single person again!"

As a whole, I've also heard that divorce rates in general are declining. Though there's a trend that people are waiting to get married for the first time later in life now.

 

[dann]

I think the idea of young marriage is sweet & romantic, but realistically, I think it's a bad idea for the most part. Then again, sometimes I think marriage in general is a bad idea

 

[DMack]

I was 21 and she (an INFJ) was 24. That was 11 years ago and we're going to a painfully long seperation/divorce. She had significant emotional baggage from an abusive mom and I thought it was just a matter of working through it. Well you can finish the story.