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Yeah, some people love it so much, I find it quite scary. It's like eating various food endlessly because "it tastes good". Physical things you put in your body can have long term physical effects. The same goes for drugs, and long term physical effects on the brain. It's by far the most powerful organ, and everything is very finely tuned. I learned that the hard way. To be put into a state where you question your own reality, and have constant lurking 'bad' feelings like paranoia, fear etc. It's horrible. Playing with the brain is dangerous. I'm amazed some people can continue doing it for 'fun' for so long.
Yeah pyschonauts are astronauts of consciousness. They basically explore altered states of consciousness and explore the experiences they get. Apparently this amounts to understanding something in some way. I think it is an interesting experimentation people do on themselves. Some people actually deliberately structure their environment so that they will easily be able to tell when they are in a dream, thus making dreams lucid. I wonder if some scientist will come up with a BCI that causes all or most dreams to become lucid so people can play around in their minds as much as they want. That in a sense, will bring that third of our lives that is spent sleeping. The only thing is the idea of taking drugs as a means to accessing some truth seems kind of dumb. When you get to a point where your definition of reality makes it so that taking hallucinogenic drugs is still reality, one may ask if you have become self-deluded.

An extreme inversion of common sense makes common sense seem like a delusion. So everyone else is delusional except for you, that person taking drugs. Interesting how we have the capacity for such thoughts.
 

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I just drank alcohol for the first time in maybe a month or so. I feel great. Perhaps this prove the existence of deities and what not. If I was a psychonaut I probably would think so.

News: I felt really good then I could barley stay awake. Now I don’t want to drink anymore.
 

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Yeah, he's senior and I'm... well I'm not junior but he's definitely of a higher 'rank' than me, but seemingly only due to time served. I don't see anything particularly special about his skillset, other than that he 'owns' most of the processes in the project, i.e. he wrote the original code, he approves PRs, does live releases etc. It's infuriating because he seems to think that this administrative responsibility means he must have intellectual authority too. Ah well, only one more week.

I'm nowhere near having enough savings to comfortably retire, and probably won't for a long while. Programmer salaries in the UK aren't quite as high as in the US. That being said, I feel very confident that I can change jobs whenever I want, which is nice. My plan is to spend a couple more years cementing my experience and domain knowledge, to the point that I can safely demand that I want to work from home (and therefore choose whatever idyll I want to live at) and still have plenty of work available. Haha. 'Working' while sitting on my arse at home. A joy of the modern world.
Many people have strong ownership, where they want complete control over their software. It keeps the software clean, relatively bug-free, and less feature creep, but it sacrifices innovation and development speed. It reminds me of the difference between Apple and Google. I can see the appeal of both strong and weak ownership, but I lean towards weak.

My salaries over the years have been pretty average for a SW engineer because I'm terrible at negotiation. I just accept whatever they give me as long as it's more than my previous job with COL adjustment. The high saving rate (70-80%) is because I'm minimalistic, i.e. I don't own much stuff. Also, I've put everything in ETFs over the years, and they've been growing at 8-10% consistently even through the pandemic. I was planning on taking unpaid leave (like a 6 month sabbatical or quit if my manager rejects it), to travel to southeast and east Asia, but covid-19 happened. It was supposed to be a recon mission around that part of the world to see where I want to live for 2-3 years just for fun. I'd return to the US and work for a couple of years while learning Mandarin, Thai, Japanese, or whatever I decide to move to.
 

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I was planning on taking unpaid leave (like a 6 month sabbatical or quit if my manager rejects it), to travel to southeast and east Asia, but covid-19 happened. It was supposed to be a recon mission around that part of the world to see where I want to live for 2-3 years just for fun. I'd return to the US and work for a couple of years while learning Mandarin, Thai, Japanese, or whatever I decide to move to.
Ha, I did this but in reverse. I did the India/Asia circuit with low funds and no direction, in my early 20s. It was the best trip I ever had, and I would definitely go back again if/when I have savings and security to do so.

When I lived in China I put a lot of thought into becoming a freelance developer and living permanently in a nice warm climate, but I similarly am terrible at negotiation, so the business side of things would weight me down horribly. I quickly knocked that idea on the head.

I've read about those and will likely start doing the same thing very soon. I played about with stocks when lockdown happened, and have some hope in long term gains (I've put money on companies that have been badly weakened by covid-19 but will not be allowed to fail, e.g. HSBC, Airbus, whose stock price ought to double when covid fucks off). ETFs are still new territory for me though. Probably a safer bet, so I'll look into them.
 

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Under this new vision of reality, all social concerns are illusions. The result is similar to believing in the boogeyman. The child takes steps to defend against that which does not exist and this raises stress and fear. Likewise, all problems are human. As members of a society, we spend all of our time defending against false concepts, living in them and fighting for and against them. If we accept this reality as it is, there will be far less suffering. That’s the essential idea. Just like when the child finally learns that the boogeyman isn’t there, the adult learns that all of social concerns aren’t grounded in reality. That is when we start running around naked without concern.
 

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I just drank alcohol for the first time in maybe a month or so. I feel great. Perhaps this prove the existence of deities and what not. If I was a psychonaut I probably would think so.

News: I felt really good then I could barley stay awake. Now I don’t want to drink anymore.
What are some less damaging means to achieve the same elation?

I feel like escapism of that kind isn't bad - but if the body keeps saying No afterwards, clearly something is up with it.
 

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What are some less damaging means to achieve the same elation?

I feel like escapism of that kind isn't bad - but if the body keeps saying No afterwards, clearly something is up with it.
Well, it probably didn’t help that I was on an empty stomach and it was after dark, which point I could have fallen asleep without it. What I normally try is to do it early afternoon so I will be awake long enough for the worst of it to go nowhere. But nonetheless it is true because multiple times I drank it and thought I should never do so again. But significant time passes, I get the opportunity again and then I just do it. Most of the time it is fine as long as it is not overdone. A mild amount is actually somewhat pleasurable actually. Like drinking a glass of wine prior to eating a plate of spaghetti and meatballs. That’s a fine thought right there.

I’ve tried drinkable marijuana but it barley does anything at all. It might do something 1 out of 5 times if anything. The first time I had it, it worked and I was basically very forgetful and not “with it.” It was kind of mild. I’m not very interested in it. It seems a lot of people I know who were introduced to it seemed to become regular users despite prior resistance. I do not smoke though, so I’m not interested in the real deal and I think drugs if used at all should be extremely moderately used. Especially if misused. These times I drink alcohol, it is only for fun. I don’t do it to cure emotional distress.

The best feeling ever though? Falling asleep in a chair. This isn’t a typical occurrence for me. I remember being a child and playing a video game late at night, only to fall asleep with the TV still on. Imagine that feeling. Normally when I get tired, I think to at least turn off the TV. But I’m this other case, falling asleep isn’t really desired or controlled. At least that initial feeling of tiredness feels very pleasurable. That is the non-drug manner of feeling this elation. Of course, in many ways I could just stay up all night, but with all the scheduling falling asleep late isn’t good and staying up might not necessarily promote this feeling.

I remember several years ago, video games became boring and I stopped playing most of them. I think refraining from them will renew the joy that there was. The only games I’ve been playing recently are the ones I played as a child. But I think I can’t handle the repetition as well as I once did. As a kid, video games were infinite expanses. There was no concept of achievements or trophies in that era, there were some proto-achievements here and there, but I never played to find them all. Now that I achieved certain things to 100% completion, there is less mystery and the games are less repeatable. I suppose I could try again. Most of time I am engaged in educational matters.
 

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A mate of mine is coming round tonight for some beers.

Normally I don't get house proud at all, but I get the impression he's a bit of a clean freak so I'm going to actually do some spring cleaning (yes I know it's nearly winter) just for him.

I guess it's a good thing in a way.
 

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A mate of mine is coming round tonight for some beers.

Normally I don't get house proud at all, but I get the impression he's a bit of a clean freak so I'm going to actually do some spring cleaning (yes I know it's nearly winter) just for him.

I guess it's a good thing in a way.
I think most of the time we just need a reason. I have to keep things clean if I don't want my allergies to start up.
 

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BBC Radio 1 is fucking amazing on Friday and Saturday nights.

It's 1am here and they're playing drum and bass. And because it's national radio, it has zero adverts. I've been sat here since about 9pm listening to excellent new underground music, a bit of rap, grime, drum and bass... and on Friday night it was all house anthems and dance music. Man it's just so good. And it's BBC Radio 1, the main primetime BBC radio station across the entire country! I had no idea this kind of thing ever played on mainstream radio! Okay, it's past midnight so it's not 'mainstream', but I thought this kind of music didn't feature anywhere on BBC at all. Amazing.

Also, it so fucking annoys me that there are people out there who want to defund or shut down the BBC. It's the greatest public service broadcaster on the planet, by a fucking long way.
 

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i have an idea.
what if intps were to found a nation for all intps.
what would it be like? which laws would it have? could it be like an international organization? a country without land?

share your ideas onthis i want feedback😊
 

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i have an idea.
what if intps were to found a nation for all intps.
what would it be like? which laws would it have? could it be like an international organization? a country without land?

share your ideas onthis i want feedback😊
We're probably one of the only types that can make an actual anarchy work
 

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i have an idea.
what if intps were to found a nation for all intps.
what would it be like? which laws would it have? could it be like an international organization? a country without land?

share your ideas onthis i want feedback😊
We're probably one of the only types that can make an actual anarchy work
I'm not so sure. Case in point: My recent secret hatred of having my brother and his boyfriend living with me.

I think an INTP society would be happy on the surface, but underneath it would basically be a community of people who had all said, "Yeah sure I'm fine with things this way", after which a random selection would end up in a good situation for themselves, and another random selection would end up in a not-so-good situation, but they would stay happy and just deal with it because "well I did say I was fine", until eventually things would get bad because actually things were never fine.

Basically we aren't obstinate enough to demand things be better.
 

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So I think I have filled a gap in data that I have needed for such a time.

I read a book today (btw is it normal to read an entire book in a day? I can’t imagine any other way. Though admittedly I do skim faster over boring parts or late in reading stuff).

The book is called, “Greek Buddha: Pyrrho's Encounter with Early Buddhism in Central Asia.”

Evidently, it discusses the relationship with the philosophy of Phyrrhonism and Buddhism. The thesis is simply that when Pyrrho went to India with Alexander The Great he learned from the naked sages and that’s how he formulated his philosophy that is starkly similar to Buddhism.

My question was if Pyrrho was purely intellectual. As some say you can know the Dharma, but if you don’t practice it, you won’t get anywhere. So far, Pyrrho wasn’t about an Eightfold Path it was just a statement of uncertainties. That recognizing this will lead us to a state of detachment and equanimity. Well, here’s the answer to that. The fragmentary stories of the figure show that he actually was hermitic. Pyrrho is said to have simply walked out, without appearing to his family for long periods of time. He was essentially a hermit and he said to have practiced some form of yoga. But the details aren’t specific, and his life itself is fragmentary. But anyway, question answered.

But there is more. This book gives a very different account of early Buddhism compared to what I have already started to become familiar with. In this text, it is inferred that Gautama (Buddha) was not originally Indian. This book speculates that he was actually Scythian. In fact, the whole story we hear is that Buddhism is a reaction against Brahmanism, the eternal soul and what not. In this book, it is said instead that it was a reaction against early Zoroastrianism (which subsequently influenced Vedic religions and Brahmanism). It also asks us to inquire about when Jainism came about since some say the Buddha was influenced by Jains. Was it contemporaneous or was it before Buddha? Hmm.

But anyway, the approach in this book is to attempt to use primary sources much closer to the time of Buddha than to trust the traditional Buddhist texts which we already know have some fabricated components. The Pāli Canon of Theravada Buddhism is typically held by scholars as the closest complete set of works that gives insight into how early Buddhists practiced. But we also know that things in it weren’t necessarily true to history based on other accounts. In fact, the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path are later ideas.

So this book suggests that what Pyrrho got out of Buddhism (or that of sect he encountered) wasn’t so much him being picky and choosy about what to take from it. It suggests, perhaps there was no concept of karma or rebirth in some early sects. Based on other Greek accounts, there were different sects of what we now call Buddhist Practitioners (Buddhism wasn’t a word). Some were forest-dwellers and others were urban. There were differences in the beliefs of these subtypes.

A big contradiction in Buddhism is the “non-self” doctrine and the concept of rebirth. When you think about Pyrrho didn’t have the modern sense of “non-self.” Why? Because it wasn’t just the “self” at work here. The Ship of Theseus isn’t just about identifying the “self” it was actually everything. Everything is impermanent and lacks that eternal identification. In this view, early Buddhism may have been a lot more sensible than what we hear now, somewhat self-consistent. So what if early Buddhism (forget about Buddha) had some sects with rebirth and others without? That would make them more like Pyrrho.

Not just Pyrrho’s philosophy (taken we assume he got significant amounts of it from Buddhism) suggests this, but also the other Ancient Greek accounts of Indian philosophers say there were different sects around. The author calls Buddhism as we know it through official canonical texts, “normative Buddhism.” Before that was pre-normative Buddhism which was all of these prototype sects. Based on this fragmentary accounts we can say things like, “the sect being described here is kind of like a pre-Pure Land Buddhism.” There is at least over a century between Pyrrho and the Buddha, but several hundred years behind Buddha and the official traditional texts which may include fabricated stories that serve to teach the lesson as well as other potential biases.

So anyway, what did this teach me? I will no longer be attached to certain sects. None of them is more “authentic” than the others. In their current state, they are quite different than the initial Buddhists and we have little information about those early times. So don’t get attached to it. It’s almost like worshipping a holy book instead of taking in the ideas as your own. There is also part of the Book on Hume, Pyrrho and the Buddha which compares them. What were they reacting against, fundamentally? They were reacting against perfection. Eternal souls. Essentially that is the theme, there’s no logical differentia that differentiates all of these views on Metaphysics. In a sense, it is a brand new entry into what I already learned. Metaphysics is not worth holding onto dogmatically. That is fundamentally what they all say.

In this case, it all makes sense, but that is not to say they were all the same and believed all the same things or whatever. We don’t really know exactly what these ancient thinkers thought. We only have fragmentary evidence, but it is still of much interest.

Very early in my journey, I discovered Pyrrho and the skeptics. I couldn’t argue with it. It is essentially skepticism. But not academic skepticism, rather it’s own brand where the evident is not denied. It is essentially an expression similar to Hume and all the thinkers I’ve been influenced strongly by. We are all humans, are logic is imperfect, our ability to truly know dogmatically is questionable. Cause and effect are human customs. It’s like everything I learned is now Boomeranging back to me yet it is all brand new.

On a different note, here is now what makes my brain pulsate. This idea of “pre-normative” religions. The idea that in ancient times, different groups had different ideas but they were all oral in nature. So these different groups are only visible to us through fragmentary accounts. The very idea that thousands of years ago, people had debates and thought different in these contexts is amazing, just like the ancient Greeks. Syncretism and debate were always there. This throughly makes me think of prototypes to video games. In which we say, “The ideas for this character were already there, it’s an early manifestation of the idea” which is mind blowing from the historical perspective. This sounds foolish, but normally when I think of religion, the early religion is what the founder taught. Then there comes the canonical literature, the Bible and so on. That canonical stuff is the truth, it is the best we have. Rather, there were so many different ideas and early expressions of these stories much like prototype software or video games are early expressions of the final release.

The fact that our imaginations can glimpse into these ancient times is amazing. How in the ancient times, there were contemporary people, seeing things they’ve hardly ever seen before. They are just like we are now. They write histories, accounts and stories of what they saw, and who they met. That’s what’s so amazing. In a way, amazing in the same way that we can imagine the early Earth and early life on Earth. The vastness of a universe where dinosaurs lived longer than we ever existed. But at the same time, even just a few thousand years ago, people were around and they were thinking just like us. Hmm, it is all quite blissful.
 

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Thinking...thinking...thinking...
Though, it wouldn’t be a true post of mine if I did not come to later read a pdf criticism of the entire book that invalidates most of the trust in what I said.

Dear, oh dear. Well, I’m going to watch videos about Star Wars now.

There is more to learn here. A lot of this deep investigation tends to end with sand falling through the fingers.

How do I apply my brain to study classroom material or workplace training instead of this babbling of scholars?

Thinking...thinking...thinking...that is all we do.
 

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New job just started. Still waiting to get a company email setup so I can't even do anything yet.

The current team of developers are all Czech, and will now be forced to use English in our team chat, just for me. Not sure how this makes me feel. Initially I feel sort of guilty, but there's a minor sense of excitement at the fact I'm probably going to learn a lot of Czech now.
 

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First Czech word I've been given: Prdel.

Google tells me it means 'arse', and the pronunciation is just as looks, but with a big roll on the R.

pRRRdel!
 

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New job just started. Still waiting to get a company email setup so I can't even do anything yet.

The current team of developers are all Czech, and will now be forced to use English in our team chat, just for me. Not sure how this makes me feel. Initially I feel sort of guilty, but there's a minor sense of excitement at the fact I'm probably going to learn a lot of Czech now.
Let me know how many weeks it takes before you start doing stuff. My current record is 3 weeks.
 
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