My younger (by two years) brother is an ESTP, but he's grown into such a tall and deep-spoken young man that I sometimes feel as if he's my older! I also think this has to do with his Ti side. Whereas I'm Te, so I (I think unfortunately?) nervous-talk when I feel the conversation is waning or lacking, while he chills and is relaxed, a man of few words for sure.
This makes me nervous often, because I like to engage with people I care about in good/deep conversation, and while we can reach that on some subjects, when we do get to that point; my joy is mixed with frustration at our not having any of the same views. At best we share similar views, and we never argue now we're grown-up on those matters. We agree to disagree quite amiably. But I can't put aside my deep longing to connect with him.
It's a great relief to me when I feel we share a hang out session without awkwardness (that probably only hyper-sensitive-me senses. -Is that Ne at work? Hrm.) We don't share film/show tastes as a rule (he likes a lot more violence and action that my sensitivity will allow), but when we do, it's great fun. I showed him 'Baccano!' last Christmas, and we fan-girl/boyed over 'The Adventures of Tintin' film since we both grew up with the comics. (Although I think I was more nostalgic - like a lot more nostalgic - about it, his interest was a more intellectual 'let's go see if it's any good or not, type-thing.)
The Bad: In a confrontation situation (This happened in the family situation, where he was often a third party, as I usually did not have any reason to get riled at him - see below 'the Good'), when I am finally riled and speak up (which is only when I feel my values have been challenged), he will step in and try to 'calm me down', when what is needed is to just listen to the situation.
The Good: He never has yet pushed me to do anything. So, like true P's, we can do a chill out time like no other. And I feel really special and loved when he does open up a bit on his emotional thoughts on a subject.
This makes me nervous often, because I like to engage with people I care about in good/deep conversation, and while we can reach that on some subjects, when we do get to that point; my joy is mixed with frustration at our not having any of the same views. At best we share similar views, and we never argue now we're grown-up on those matters. We agree to disagree quite amiably. But I can't put aside my deep longing to connect with him.
It's a great relief to me when I feel we share a hang out session without awkwardness (that probably only hyper-sensitive-me senses. -Is that Ne at work? Hrm.) We don't share film/show tastes as a rule (he likes a lot more violence and action that my sensitivity will allow), but when we do, it's great fun. I showed him 'Baccano!' last Christmas, and we fan-girl/boyed over 'The Adventures of Tintin' film since we both grew up with the comics. (Although I think I was more nostalgic - like a lot more nostalgic - about it, his interest was a more intellectual 'let's go see if it's any good or not, type-thing.)
The Bad: In a confrontation situation (This happened in the family situation, where he was often a third party, as I usually did not have any reason to get riled at him - see below 'the Good'), when I am finally riled and speak up (which is only when I feel my values have been challenged), he will step in and try to 'calm me down', when what is needed is to just listen to the situation.
The Good: He never has yet pushed me to do anything. So, like true P's, we can do a chill out time like no other. And I feel really special and loved when he does open up a bit on his emotional thoughts on a subject.
