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Discussion Starter #1
Explain your experience with CP6s. What do you think of how they carry themselves boldly, and how do you react to them? Do you get along? Anything notable is of interest to me.
 

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Im much better at guessing someones MBTI type then Enneagram. Outward behaviors are much more apparent than inner motivations. So I cant really say if I know a CP6 or not. I probably do, I just dont know it.
 

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What does CP stand for?
CP stands for counterphobic. To the best of my understanding, counterphobic 6s are different from phobic 6s in that in response to their anxiety they face their fears head-on.

I'm not good at guessing people's enneagram types, so I can't say much about my dynamics with CP 6s. Other than some of them seem to dislike me, because I am a very anxiety prone person and they seem to see that as something to be confronted whereas I tend to withdraw from or avoid anxiety-inducing situations.
 

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CP stands for counterphobic. To the best of my understanding, counterphobic 6s are different from phobic 6s in that in response to their anxiety they face their fears head-on.

I'm not good at guessing people's enneagram types, so I can't say much about my dynamics with CP 6s. Other than some of them seem to dislike me, because I am a very anxiety prone person and they seem to see that as something to be confronted whereas I tend to withdraw from or avoid anxiety-inducing situations.
Oh, thank you for explaining that to me. I thought all type 6's were that way (alternating between anxiety and confidence) but I guess I'm mistaken.
 

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Oh, thank you for explaining that to me. I thought all type 6's were that way (alternating between anxiety and confidence) but I guess I'm mistaken.
:) You're welcome.

I agree with @Wake. I believe that most (but not all) 6s do alternate between those two ways of thinking, and that whether they're phobic or counterphobic simply depends on which of the two styles they use more often. Some lean strongly towards phobia or counterphobia whereas others are more in between.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
I know here on the forums I repeatedly think they're odd. They're fairly opened and upbeat people, but they have this thing for wanting to be labeled type 8. Type 8's descriptions are often very unflattering, yet true. The fact that we don't start a whole new Etype forum for CP6s is the reasoning behind this. They can't find it in them to identify with the phobic 6s.

I seen a CP6 just the other day in RL, and he seemed to be trying to carry a tough, masculine aura about him. When shaking my hand he appeared to be trying to show his strength, and I tried to communicate my kindness to him. The guy doesn't sound like he changes too much for anyone, and I wouldn't want to get into a fight with him. Maybe he'll learn to let his guard down and be normal during future events. If only I were a 2 I think I could smother him with kindness.
 

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Step 1. They emotionally overreact to something.
Step 2. I wonder why they are so worked-up over seemingly nothing.
Step 3. I try to calm them down and re-focus them on solving the problem.
Step 4. Some time passes, return to step 1.

I haven't had many issues with them besides the differences inherent to belonging to competence vs reactive triad. I feel like they gravitate towards me somewhat likely because of my 9 wing (6s integerate to 9). I seem to have a slight calming effect on them. On the down side I get tired of being put into the role of a shrink having to diffuse their anxiety. Being around someone who is always emotionally reactive gets draining in the long run. Their disintegration to 3 doesn't look pretty either. In manifests as them wanting to make everything look normal but on the surface, when in reality things are falling apart. It these instances they may attempt to make cosmetic repairs without trying to resolve the real issue.

What I like about them is their willingness to speak their mind, and to stand up for people, projects, and ideas that they have invested in, and not just jump the boat (like many 3s will do). I like that they will stand for something and feel that in this they are very similar to 1s such that 1s and 6s working together towards a common goal can be very effective.

Most of the counterphobic 6s I've met have been 6w7s and phobic ones have been 6w5s.
 

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I'm not good at guessing people's enneagram types, so I can't say much about my dynamics with CP 6s. Other than some of them seem to dislike me, because I am a very anxiety prone person and they seem to see that as something to be confronted whereas I tend to withdraw from or avoid anxiety-inducing situations.
I can't speak for all c/p 6's but I doubt very much that I would dislike someone because of their anxiety, if anything I am very understanding of those who suffer with this, if you ask, some may even be able to offer you advice with your anxiety because thats what we do best, problem solve and because we have been there, a mature 6 can see how anxiety manifests. I may act tough towards those I am threatened by. Not all c/p's are bullyboys!

I know here on the forums I repeatedly think they're odd. They're fairly opened and upbeat people, but they have this thing for wanting to be labeled type 8. Type 8's descriptions are often very unflattering, yet true. The fact that we don't start a whole new Etype forum for CP6s is the reasoning behind this. They can't find it in them to identify with the phobic 6s.

I seen a CP6 just the other day in RL, and he seemed to be trying to carry a tough, masculine aura about him. When shaking my hand he appeared to be trying to show his strength, and I tried to communicate my kindness to him. The guy doesn't sound like he changes too much for anyone, and I wouldn't want to get into a fight with him. Maybe he'll learn to let his guard down and be normal during future events. If only I were a 2 I think I could smother him with kindness.
Really? I have absolutely no desire to become an 8. I just speak my mind as I see fit, I don't need to be forceful about it and thus alienate people to such an extent. Counterphobia manifests itself through a variety of ways. Me, I show strength through academic knowledge(not exclusively, so don't be thinking black and white) not necessarily always through physical strength though I do tend to give off an aura that says, 'don't think you can walk all over me'. There's a difference. I think counterphobia is experienced differently between each person. But the end result is similar.

Step 1. They emotionally overreact to something.
Step 2. I wonder why they are so worked-up over seemingly nothing.
Step 3. I try to calm them down and re-focus them on solving the problem.
Step 4. Some time passes, return to step 1.

I haven't had many issues with them besides the differences inherent to belonging to competence vs reactive triad. I feel like they gravitate towards me somewhat likely because of my 9 wing (6s integerate to 9). I seem to have a slight calming effect on them. On the down side I get tired of being put into the role of a shrink having to diffuse their anxiety. Being around someone who is always emotionally reactive gets draining in the long run. Their disintegration to 3 doesn't look pretty either. In manifests as them wanting to make everything look normal but on the surface, when in reality things are falling apart. It these instances they may attempt to make cosmetic repairs without trying to resolve the real issue.

What I like about them is their willingness to speak their mind, and to stand up for people, projects, and ideas that they have invested in, and not just jump the boat (like many 3s will do). I like that they will stand for something and feel that in this they are very similar to 1s such that 1s and 6s working together towards a common goal can be very effective.

Most of the counterphobic 6s I've met have been 6w7s and phobic ones have been 6w5s.
This is an ongoing, frequent problem. We are scared of losing groundedness and thus any perceived threat to that will be met in a state of panic or an overreaction but for us it is better to overreact that to not give a toss resulting in what could potentially be a disaster. We do need that reassurance, some proof that all is going to be okay. We are always 10 steps ahead, imagining what might happen, we will want to ask questions to settle our erratic minds and this is a possible pitfall in the relationship between 1's and 6's, 1 believing that we should follow duties, no questions asked and naturally, 6's are going to ask questions to settle our anxiety, 1's need to be open minded in that aspect, c/p 6's arn't just going to abide by the rules, willy nilly, asking questions is like asking for more reassurance, 'what if the people at the top abuses the rules? Who's going to sort it all out when it all goes wrong because a plan wasn't followed and because it wasn't questioned, the chances of it going wrong are even more likely', are the sort of questions that may go through some of our minds. I liked your step by step table, one thing I would suggest is to always try and aim for the route of the problem that the 6 seems to frequently worry about, I think this would help clearing a lot of that internal doubt about the underlying issue.
I wouldn't go by 6/5's being phobic or 6/7's being counterphobic either, I don't think that is anything much to go by.
 

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Discussion Starter #11 (Edited)
Oh, this is an argument thread now. I thought it was to be more similar to show and tell.

I got shroom's point that it may not be all about chest pounding for CP6s, just sticks out in the ones I am aware of. I don't mind such points made, but wasn't the meaning of this thread.

EDIT: @mushr00m my point I was making was many that I've come across (more than any other type) would prefer to be called a type 8. NOT necessarily that you want to be, I didn't say that, you connected those items. None of that rant was about you either, it was about my experience. Don't take my experience personal. I don't care about how it applies to you, but you're welcomed to talk about yourself. Just don't direct your issues at me because you come off as arguing.
 

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Oh, this is an argument thread now. I thought it was to be more similar to show and tell.

I got shroom's point that it may not be all about chest pounding for CP6s, just sticks out in the ones I am aware of. I don't mind such points made, but wasn't the meaning of this thread.

EDIT: @mushr00m my point I was making was many that I've come across (more than any other type) would prefer to be called a type 8. NOT necessarily that you want to be, I didn't say that, you connected those items. None of that rant was about you either, it was about my experience. Don't take my experience personal. I don't care about how it applies to you, but you're welcomed to talk about yourself. Just don't direct your issues at me because you come off as arguing.
I'm not arguing, lol. I am clarifying and putting some generalisations straight. Its simply not fair that you portray counterphobics in a biased, one-dimensional way. Just to add, sorry to be blunt but for some reason, its becoming rampant with c/p hate around here and thats why I felt compelled to say what I said, please don't take it so personally, I havn't, im just speaking with regards to a widely spread, misinterpreted belief. I hope we can put this behind and move on. TC.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
I'm not arguing, lol. I am clarifying and putting some generalisations straight. Its simply not fair that you portray counterphobics in a biased, one-dimensional way. Just to add, sorry to be blunt but for some reason, its becoming rampant with c/p hate around here and thats why I felt compelled to say what I said, please don't take it so personally, I havn't, im just speaking with regards to a widely spread, misinterpreted belief. I hope we can put this behind and move on. TC.
'Don't think you can walk all over me' from your previous post seems to be a good way of putting it given my experience with a defensiveness. Now, you're right, it works for confrontations in a general sense, not exclusive to physical confrontation. The desire for this stance on all conflict creates someone who is likely to identify with an 8 than admit fear is behind it and call themselves a 6, and this misstep is made more than any other type towards 8. To identify with those who are phobic is a pretty big step which doesn't come easy, and they may never find it in themselves to do.

There is my reasoning for saying what I have, and I don't regret any of it. I'm not always thorough as I'd like to be in my explanation because it becomes tiresome.

My experience is one-dimensional with the guy, but the reasoning for the types acting as they do is not quite as plain. My experience was not something capable of clarifying because it was not a generalization but an isolated incident.

I agree, finding common ground and moving forward past skirmishes is in the best interest of the thread
 

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I've always suspected that CP sixes and ones would come into conflict with each other rather frequently... how does that hold up in your experience? (talking to both sixes and ones, here)
 

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Discussion Starter #18
I've always suspected that CP sixes and ones would come into conflict with each other rather frequently... how does that hold up in your experience? (talking to both sixes and ones, here)
My childhood experience had an insecure CP6 cousin. He wasn't very nice to others, and was never parented well so he makes for a bad example of this type in general. He was brash and aggressive you could explain him as having an 8 in his tritype in his will to fight for his own well being, but he was a needy coward deep down. While growing up I was still uncertain of my ideology and how I should interact with the world. As I matured I grew more confrontational and strained by resentment but I never became violent because I have something against lowering myself to his uncontrolled ways. The more coldly logical and primal side of my wishes I did something horrible to him, which would either scar him for the rest of his life or end his life for the wrongdoings. The other side tries to have faith in my decision not have taught him a lesson of such magnitude and let him learn on his own, and the family around him to put up with his ways. He got something up his ass a few Christmases ago during small talk and started conflict with me and we got into a skirmish. I told his mother he was a piece of trash. He continues to show his classlessness when given the chance by not going to relative's funerals or family gatherings.

He is viewed as an erratic asshole who was always trying to put up a tough front and needy of acceptance deep down.

Again, he is an awful example of this type, but he is the most interaction I have with a CP6.
 

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This is an ongoing, frequent problem. We are scared of losing groundedness and thus any perceived threat to that will be met in a state of panic or an overreaction but for us it is better to overreact that to not give a toss resulting in what could potentially be a disaster.
I'm usually surprised at 6s reactions because I don't pick up on the same stress-cues as they do, as the result to me their reaction looks like a spontaneous burst of emotion that came out of nowhere. Then I try to find out the cause and calm them down.

So what is the anchor for this feeling of "groundedness" for you? What makes you feel grounded as opposed to not?

We do need that reassurance, some proof that all is going to be okay.
I think that's how 6 integration to 9 goes, when the 6 realizes that everything will be ok ... but idk, I've made a thread about it on the 6 subforum seeing if I can get some descriptions about what kinds of things make you guys integrate, but haven't gotten any replies yet

We are always 10 steps ahead, imagining what might happen, we will want to ask questions to settle our erratic minds and this is a possible pitfall in the relationship between 1's and 6's, 1 believing that we should follow duties, no questions asked and naturally, 6's are going to ask questions to settle our anxiety, 1's need to be open minded in that aspect, c/p 6's arn't just going to abide by the rules, willy nilly, asking questions is like asking for more reassurance, 'what if the people at the top abuses the rules? Who's going to sort it all out when it all goes wrong because a plan wasn't followed and because it wasn't questioned, the chances of it going wrong are even more likely', are the sort of questions that may go through some of our minds.
I think that's just a shallow enneagram stereotype of type 1 like we're just drones blindly following duties no matter what. We're real people and we question our actions and our lives just like everyone else does. I will routinely ask questions if I am not sure of something and don't understand how something works or what it is for.

I think 1s expect others to put themselves aside and act rationally and responsibly. When you have volunteered for a task or duty, that people will have enough of a sense of responsibility to follow through no matter what. When there is a clear and rational choice or way of doing something, that most people will choose it. 1s becomes surprised when they see that this doesn't happen.

I was listening to a radio show yesterday and the topic was how many women cheat outside of their marriage and not only cheat but also don't use protection, don't use birth control and get pregnant. One of the women who called this talk show was very likely type 1, and she just couldn't believe that other women can be so irresponsible, not only cheating but also endangering their whole family, since they can get infected with hiv or other stds or become pregnant by someone they'll never see again. This behavior just doesn't make any sense whatsoever. This kind of irrationality and irresponsibility is something that 1s simply cannot accept from anyone.

In my experience with 6s, responsibility is usually not an issue. 6s are one of the most responsible and loyal types. Picking the most rational course of action can be a problem. 6s often pick to do something because it feels safe to them and emotionally comforting. Whereas 1 will expect them to put themselves and what they feel aside and follow what the most objective course of action. In these instance 6s will refuse and think 1s are being pushy and insensitive. This is where the two types don't see eye to eye.

I liked your step by step table, one thing I would suggest is to always try and aim for the route of the problem that the 6 seems to frequently worry about, I think this would help clearing a lot of that internal doubt about the underlying issue.
I wouldn't go by 6/5's being phobic or 6/7's being counterphobic either, I don't think that is anything much to go by.
Thanks. That's what I try to do :)
 
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