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I'm going to attack you.... gently.

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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
You know your faults. You know you have bad habits that, if you stop to think about them, are beginning to control you. I propose that we post our faults, admit wholeheartedly to them, and give advice to others who likewise can't stop themselves from laughing loudly at stupid questions and drink too much coffee and hate getting compliments because it sounds so ingratiating and false. Since we're all so critical and so very capable of finding creative solutions, why not pool our mental faculties to improve one and all?

I would consider my faults to be:
a lack of general interest in the uneducated;
a certain hypocrisy when it comes to wasting time, addictions, etc.-- several times already I've mentally derided people in this forum for mindless posting, until I remember that I myself am lurking around at three in the morning;
the perfectionism that alternates so frequently with drastic apathy;
the struggle to identify what people mean when they tell me to be "realistic." Every situation is unique and I find it excruciatingly difficult to decide what is (or is not) within the realm of possibility for me.

Many thanks, and I'll do my best to pass along advice.
 

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- I read into everything far too much. I make myself crazy by doing so.
- I am too irritable for my own good.
- I am constantly being told to 'lighten up'. I realize this is probably true. I was once told that I have the 'shit under my nose' look permanently on my face.
- I care too much what other people think.
- I am easily distracted.
- I live in the future; alas the present is just a breeze and the past may as well not even exist.
- I am a true victim of limerence.
- I have no interest in a career (gah! I said it...) I am happy to do whatever I need to do to make money for the time being.
- My eating habits are off the wall eccentric.
- I still haven't figured out how to shave my legs without cutting myself.
- I am a little too aggressive some times.
- I am a total stress head...
- If something is deemed too hard sometimes I will avoid it until it's too late.
- I am overly judgmental at times.
- I cannot express my emotions verbally... it comes out as gibberish.
- I fake my Fe a lot. It doesn't come naturally to me. I have had to learn how to develop it so to compensate I go overboard. I have not found that balance yet of what is and isn't appropriate amounts of Fe. People who do not know me very well often think I am an INFJ for this reason.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 · (Edited)
- I read into everything far too much. I make myself crazy by doing so.
- I am too irritable for my own good.
- I am constantly being told to 'lighten up'. I realize this is probably true. I was once told that I have the 'shit under my nose' look permanently on my face.
- I care too much what other people think.
- I am easily distracted.
- I live in the future, the the present is just a breeze and the past may as well not even exist.
- I am a true victim of limerence.
- I have no interest in a career (gah! I said it...) I am happy to do whatever I need to do to make money for the time being.
- My eating habits are off the wall eccentric.
- I still haven't figured out how to shave my legs without cutting myself.
- I am a little too aggressive some times.
- I am a total stress head...
- If something is deemed too hard sometimes I will avoid it until it's too late.
- I am overly judgmental at times.
- I cannot express my emotions verbally... it comes out as gibberish.
- I fake my Fe a lot. It doesn't come naturally to me. I have had to learn how to develop it so to compensate I go overboard. I have not found that balance yet of what is and isn't appropriate amounts of Fe. People who do not know me very well often think I am an INFJ for this reason.
It seems you could use a lesson in relaxation, too. I still haven't figured out a set location or routine that relaxes me yet, but I constantly try. Maybe find a favorite tree to sit under and read?
I think I understand your position-- knowing that you try too hard and hating yourself for it. You judge yourself too harshly, and you probably know this, too.
Edit: It just hit me that Fe is feeling. Sorry. But maybe manufactured feeling is not so bad... I didn't learn nonverbal communication until the middle of high school and then I realized I needed to make facial expressions to be understood subtly. It was actually quite wonderful; I learned to communicate with anyone who made eye contact with me with a single eyebrow or suggestive eye widening. Maybe feeling is the same. It's liberating in a peculiar way.
What gives you enjoyment? Aside from intelligent dialogue; that is endangered and probably not a viable option most days.
Since you're here and posted, you must want to improve yourself. Your recognition of your faults is excellent and probably over-comprehensive. All anyone can do is advise; only you can make real changes, of course. But I think that you can and will. You have the strength of will to control yourself in all the ways you know you need to, and so I am confident that this is as far as I need to go.
 

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You know your faults. You know you have bad habits that, if you stop to think about them, are beginning to control you. I propose that we post our faults, admit wholeheartedly to them, and give advice to others who likewise can't stop themselves from laughing loudly at stupid questions and drink too much coffee and hate getting compliments because it sounds so ingratiating and false.

I would consider my faults to be:
a lack of general interest in the uneducated;
a certain hypocrisy when it comes to wasting time, addictions, etc.-- several times already I've mentally derided people in this forum for mindless posting, until I remember that I myself am lurking around at three in the morning;
the perfectionism that alternates so frequently with drastic apathy;
the struggle to identify what people mean when they tell me to be "realistic." Every situation is unique and I find it excruciatingly difficult to decide what is (or is not) within the realm of possibility for me.

Many thanks, and I'll do my best to pass along advice.
Everything stated.
In addition:
An obsessive need to fix things that I perceive to be broken, or inefficient. Even if said thing is in fact a person. This has probably caused the majority of the problems in my personal life. On the other hand there are those few who actually accept and have thanked me for my obtrusive attempts to make their lives better.
Apathy towards my creative talents, when they are the only things that actually make me happy. Sometimes I feel like I have apathy about being happy, even then I find something else to do and let my inspiration fade.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Everything stated.
In addition:
An obsessive need to fix things that I perceive to be broken, or inefficient. Even if said thing is in fact a person. This has probably caused the majority of the problems in my personal life. On the other hand there are those few who actually accept and have thanked me for my obtrusive attempts to make their lives better.
Apathy towards my creative talents, when they are the only things that actually make me happy. Sometimes I feel like I have apathy about being happy, even then I find something else to do and let my inspiration fade.
Now that is interesting. You realize you must fix people, and that this will sometimes hurt them more than it will help, but you cannot stop yourself. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with hatred for the ones closest to me, because I still do not fully understand how to help without hurting and end up saying nothing. This is not a perfect solution. You can probably find a way to filter yourself-- though I will admit to my own difficulties with this.
I think our general problem lies in over-thinking happiness. I still try to make it into something formulaic, and that always backfires on me. Instead I just focus on being content and grateful for what I have and who I am because that is all I can be. You are sufficient, just as you are. You can always gain more knowledge and experience, but you can't change the core of who you are. There's just something there that is and always will be, and I find this very comforting.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I enjoy exploring the failures of others. When it comes to my own, however, I don't know where to start. If I were to say, theoretically, that these were the problems of someone else, I might be tempted to give advice. Perfectionism is a great sin and a great virtue. I don't know where the line is, if there is one. I don't know when I overdo something, but others seem to. Hypocrisy is incurable, I think, but for perspective changes. I think it is a very useful exercise to imagine what someone else is "going through," even if I'm not very good at imagining emotional responses. It's easy to give advice, of course, but so difficult to take it... I hope I'm making sense. My mental facilities are degenerating rapidly (or perhaps, my subconscious is merely taking control which results in more precise language about imprecise topics). Who can tell, after all.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I am not as efficient with my time as I should be. I also have exceptionally poor taste in women.
I find that I can be most efficient when best motivated. I keep reminders of where I want to be around. I also find micromanagement of time an exceptional exercise; I plan out the day in detail, and even if I end up mixing everything up I end up more productive than if I just float through the day. I also make calendars in Word, just a blank table horizontally, which is lovely for viewing things week by week or month by month. That's for obsessive planning.
Women-- well, I have no place advising in romance. I'm asexual. I can only suggest you don't put too much effort into them until you find the "right one," whatever that means.
 

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I enjoy exploring the failures of others. When it comes to my own, however, I don't know where to start. If I were to say, theoretically, that these were the problems of someone else, I might be tempted to give advice. Perfectionism is a great sin and a great virtue. I don't know where the line is, if there is one. I don't know when I overdo something, but others seem to. Hypocrisy is incurable, I think, but for perspective changes. I think it is a very useful exercise to imagine what someone else is "going through," even if I'm not very good at imagining emotional responses. It's easy to give advice, of course, but so difficult to take it... I hope I'm making sense. My mental facilities are degenerating rapidly (or perhaps, my subconscious is merely taking control which results in more precise language about imprecise topics). Who can tell, after all.
Well my analysis would be the repeated use of the word failure. Sometimes failure is just a lack of success. A learning process which we all must face time and time again. Stop looking at what you perceive as failure and look at the situations as the immutable temporal occurrences that they are. What did you gain? What did you learn? If you gained anything from the outcome, it was not the failure you deem it to be. Rather it was merely a sequence of events that can not be changed.

EDIT: you actually only used it once, but your syntax is shouting it
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Well my analysis would be the repeated use of the word failure. Sometimes failure is just a lack of success. A learning process which we all must face time and time again. Stop looking at what you perceive as failure and look at the situations as the immutable temporal occurrences that they are. What did you gain? What did you learn? If you gained anything from the outcome, it was not the failure you deem it to be. Rather it was merely a sequence of events that can not be changed.
Yes, sometimes success is too lofty a goal. Learning is wonderful; the acceptance of knowledge and your own ignorance is beautiful, but it's so difficult to quantify gains in terms of learning. It's easy to say I scored 100%. It's so very, very hard to say, I scored 50% but learned so much more. Even knowing learning is more valuable than "success," I still struggle to come to terms with 50%. It's also difficult to understand that sometimes there IS no possibility for success. I still have trouble with that... But thank you.

Yes, my syntax was shouting it. I can admit to that much...
 

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I've found that being too obsessive in planning is also counter-productive, it's a means, not an end. As for women, the rub is that I have been quite bad in figuring out what the "right one" is.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I've found that being too obsessive in planning is also counter-productive, it's a means, not an end. As for women, the rub is that I have been quite bad in figuring out what the "right one" is.
I see... So how do you want to become more time efficient? Do you do best by making a mental list? Can you make improvements to a daily routine? Do you have a daily routine?

You might want to give women a break completely. Just stop all dating and flirting and thinking about women in that way. You might find it enriches your experience.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I encourage people to keep posting... I'm going to leave for a busy day, but I really hope that I get to enjoy reading the responses here tonight...
 

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I see... So how do you want to become more time efficient? Do you do best by making a mental list? Can you make improvements to a daily routine? Do you have a daily routine?
Spend less time on the Internet. I'm running at a quite high efficiency though, there might be 10, 20% more to tap out, otherwise I'm fairly sure I'll burn out.

You might want to give women a break completely. Just stop all dating and flirting and thinking about women in that way. You might find it enriches your experience.
Positively love meeting new people and learning from them, and the romantic angle gives it an edge. The problem is the falling in love part.
 

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- I have had no motivation to do anything for years now.
- I judge myself way too harshly apparently.
- I'm easily distracted and lack focus.
- I have no empathy.
- I can never stay in the moment.
- I deconstruct just about every compliment that I'm given.
- I'm not that bright and it frustrates me.
im going to quote you because i you said it already
 

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-I'm always thinking, which can go either way as a pro or con
-My deadpan humor
-Lack of empathy
-I usually come out as looking sort of reclusive or arrogant, especially when I'm thinking
-I honestly can't take a compliment without wondering if it's true or not
-Grudges
-I get addicted to things easily
-I tend to not study for tests, which doesn't mess with my grades, but this is a bad habit to have
 
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