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What's your instinctual variant?

  • Sx/So

    Votes: 16 13.0%
  • Sx/Sp

    Votes: 34 27.6%
  • So/Sp

    Votes: 8 6.5%
  • So/Sx

    Votes: 14 11.4%
  • Sp/Sx

    Votes: 28 22.8%
  • Sp/So

    Votes: 18 14.6%
  • Hell if I know, might as well click something.

    Votes: 5 4.1%

  • Total voters
    123
121 - 129 of 129 Posts

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Super Moderator
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I've just read the first few pages of this thread and I wanted to say, @Paradigm, that I really related to a lot of the things you said, so much so that some of your posts made me think I could've written exactly the same things myself. I'm not questioning your type (or even mine really) but I'm wondering why, if we have different stackings, I relate to so much of what you said about being so last.

Like you, I often have to put in a lot of effort when it comes to showing an interest in other people (although I don't often outwardly show an interest in anything much), I tend to dismiss connections that seem superficial and I find the "getting to know you" phase kind of difficult and boring, unless I know I have something in common with the person I'm connecting with and we can discuss a mutual interest.

As a fellow disabled person, I relate to what you said about finding it difficult to ask for help, and like you I think I've caused myself unnecessary suffering by trying to do everything on my own. I also will only ask for help from people I'm close to (but maybe that's a six thing, needing to establish trust and not wanting to make myself more vulnerable than necessary).

So, I'm not really sure what my point is tbh, except... thoughts?
 

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MOTM February 2014
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4,781 Posts
So, I'm not really sure what my point is tbh, except... thoughts?
Honestly, I'm not sure. For me, it was a long process of figuring out my variant, and I'm still not sure if I'm completely right. The only thing I know for sure is that I'm an SP 6. I might be sp/so, yes, but I feel more sp/sx. My second instinct is something I consider to be weak, and I think I can pass for being sp/so sometimes.

But I have to remember that I am very much a 7-winger, due to my characteristics and coping mechanisms. I can't see myself as 6w7 sp/so, because to me that says I'm more outward-oriented than I am. 6w5 sp/so might fit in that way, yet as I just said, I'm not 6w5. So I end back up at being 6w7 sp/sx, which is supposedly the "grumpy" and "autistic" 6w7 ;)

As much as I dislike EIDB, there's a few interesting threads in their archives:
The Enneagram Institute Discussion Board - Elaborating the cp 6w5 vs. 6w7 difference (I like page 3)
The Enneagram Institute Discussion Board - Phobic sp/so 6w7's vs Phobic sp/sx 6w7's

Sorry for not going in depth. I don't want to repeat myself, but I forgot what I said in this thread, so I'm being very surfacey :tongue: Ask specifics, if you wish. You can always PM me, too.
 

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747 Posts
Being a sexual first has actually I think made it much more difficult for me to have a satisfactory romantic/sex life because the issue has been so highly charged for me, which usually doesn't allow me to just relax, so its not natural to me. I had to get to the point where I just gave up on trying, and can only be with a woman if it happens very organically, like just being friends first and foremost before I even consider sex or anything romantic.
 

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Wow. Damn. I just realized the last comment on this thread before mine was from 2012. Idek if anyone will see this.
 

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ENTP 3w4 so/sx
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2,859 Posts
so/sx for me - we're the most fun of the six stackings ;)
 

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ESTP 7w8 so/sx
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893 Posts
SO/SX and it's the best one because: (Enneagrammer quote)

SX playground in SP/SX and SO/SX
  • Loud/Accidental sexual display
    • SO/SX particularly flippantly using explicit sexuality as something to toy around with and act as an inviting aspect of their social identity
    • SP/SX accidentally allowing their sexuality to ooze out without much particular control over how
 
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