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Ayatollah of Coca-Cola
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Show and/or tell us what it looks like. Give us a glimpse into your internal, emotional climate.

As for me, my conscience is stormy. And it constantly causes power outages for long periods of time. Black clouds brew, rain pours, thunder and lightning take out the power, and after a while of fumbling with candles, the power manages to come on. Lather, rinse, and repeat.


 

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Grey. Rarely am I un-sad or energetic enough to see in colour. The sky is overcast; cracks of light shine through but never enough to brighten my life, only enough to tease me and make me grab at them in futility. The clouds are flat and dull and un-fluffy as my moods mostly are, and they are constantly on the verge of rain. The rain being me crying, in this analogy. Yeah.

Sometimes the rain leads to a major storm (see OP).

The tree in this picture could well represent my 'soul', if you will, my truest being. It's devoid of leaves, embellishment, colour and decoration, and indeed it never had any. It is cold, damp and dead, killed by the storms. There is a tiny bit still alive deep inside, but it is very precious, and no-one sees it.
 

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Present




Past




Future


?



I recently started to try my very best to take control of my inner climate. At points in time I know there are going to be external factors that contribute to its conflict but I understand that its beyond my power to change those things. Instead I make sure on a daily basis that my internal conflicts are dealt with, faced, understood and accepted.

It leaves me so much room to grow as a human when they don't invade my mind space. They still exist, the past will always exist, but I'm done with it for the time being. If I am forced to face the pain again I know next time I will be stronger than I was before, and I can stare down my demons and tell them to politely f**k off =)
 

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Mountainous landforms Mountain Highland Valley Geological phenomenon

From my hike into Colca Canyon. Significant peaks and valleys with many microclimates; a look toward the future and adventure; an arduous daily walk at times; informative of the way I view free will; some jagged edges and cuts; both withdrawn and open; a thread at the bottom holds it all together.
 

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Outer space Atmosphere Astronomical object Planet Astronomy
This would probably be mine. No oxygen or gravity, everything just floats around. But it still is probably one of the most chaotic places to be. Huge black holes, meteorites flinging through the sky, burning suns and stars and it is practically an endless amount of space. But, In my case, empty space filled with strange notions and fantasies along with burning suns, black holes, meteorites, huge toxic planets and stars littering everywhere.
 

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I recently started to try my very best to take control of my inner climate. At points in time I know there are going to be external factors that contribute to its conflict but I understand that its beyond my power to change those things. Instead I make sure on a daily basis that my internal conflicts are dealt with, faced, understood and accepted.

It leaves me so much room to grow as a human when they don't invade my mind space. They still exist, the past will always exist, but I'm done with it for the time being. If I am forced to face the pain again I know next time I will be stronger than I was before, and I can stare down my demons and tell them to politely f**k off =)
Acceptance in one of the most important - and hardest - things to do, especially when you have to accept the bad parts of you. I'm happy that you recognise this and are trying :) it won't always be easy, but having the will and being amenable to it is the first step. I've heard that demons are far less overwhelming when you've acknowledged and named them; also, sometimes it's not about telling them to bugger off or whatever, but just acknowledging that they're there and accepting that fact. You may find that they'll dissipate on their own much more quickly.

I will say be careful about 'taking control' of your inner climate. It may just be a semantic point (and your plan of action sounds like a healthy one), but you should strive to be in tune with it, rather than in control. It sounds like you understand that, but I just wanted to emphasise that point because I've unknowingly been trying to control my emotions (I was brought up in some very emotionally reserved environments) for over 15 years, and it's been extremely unhealthy for me. Fierce internal conflict, strains of anhedonia, scarily efficient suppression...either way, I wish you the best of luck with your new approach :)

Have you tried meditation at all?
 

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Acceptance in one of the most important - and hardest - things to do, especially when you have to accept the bad parts of you. I'm happy that you recognise this and are trying :) it won't always be easy, but having the will and being amenable to it is the first step. I've heard that demons are far less overwhelming when you've acknowledged and named them; also, sometimes it's not about telling them to bugger off or whatever, but just acknowledging that they're there and accepting that fact. You may find that they'll dissipate on their own much more quickly.

I will say be careful about 'taking control' of your inner climate. It may just be a semantic point (and your plan of action sounds like a healthy one), but you should strive to be in tune with it, rather than in control. It sounds like you understand that, but I just wanted to emphasize that point because I've unknowingly been trying to control my emotions (I was brought up in some very emotionally reserved environments) for over 15 years, and it's been extremely unhealthy for me. Fierce internal conflict, strains of anhedonia, scarily efficient suppression...either way, I wish you the best of luck with your new approach :)

Have you tried meditation at all?
Oh yes I understand that. I have gone through the steps of acknowledging and naming them as well. Not really telling them to bugger off but rather politely not allowing them to take hold of my live and send me spiraling into a deep depression.

My choice of wording was quite off on that one. Take control as in accepting both sides and learning to live with it. I have tried to in the past to suppress them but with no long term benefits. In the sense I would wake up one day and have the full brunt of them come crashing down on me.

My childhood was quite a lonely one as well, and at one point I did try to just disregard my emotions or control them like I thought I should, that didn't work out that well either.

As in when it gets chaotic? certainly. I don't follow any established methods though, I simply pursue my own.
 
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It's rainy and gloomy, but I like it. I let it wash over me, I feel it run down my face, I listen to the splashes my feet make as I walk down the empty street. There's a whole world in there, yet there's often nobody there to share it with. Sometimes that's good, other times I long for company.



Again, it may be dark, but I let that dark wind flow around me. I can feel at peace if I can escape to that place inside my mind; that place I like to hide. An air of cold detachment and long-buried desire to connect.
 

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Just chilling on my mountain peak. Waiting for a storm to blow by. So i can lose myself in it's ferocity for a moment. Sometimes saving humanity, other times feeding the storms all my anger & rage. Destroying all the world around me.
Most days just sitting there trying to keep the thought. I exist therefore I am and its ok to just exist. Till god grants me the next chapter in my existence.
Every day I am ready for death. But the grim reaper keeps skirting around my peak just out of reach. Taunting me to come down from my lonely peak. Waiting for me to find happiness so he can snatch it all away. And still leave me half alive so we can continue the dance that has become my life. So I just sit and wait for the day when god sends him my way.
Peace Paul
 
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