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1,181 Posts
Hi INFPs,
Yesterday, a friend of mine (tested as both an ENFP & INFP), who I met through university a few months back came by to my place yesterday on his way from his parents place. Long story short, him and I have developed an extremely deep connection (we have texted/talked every single day since the first day of March). He is doing his teaching practicum in a another city, while I am doing my in my town....It was established a few weeks back that we both have feelings for each other. Only problem is, he has some trust issues from a previous relationship (due to ex cheating on him...this was 4 years ago) & also, he said he doesn't want to drag me into that.
So, here is the situation at hand... we know that we have an amazing bond and that we feel for each other in a "more than friends way", however he told that his mind is asking him to return to his ex (not that one that cheated on him, but another) because she feels like a "old hat" and he is "comfortable" with her. On the other hand, his heart is telling him to choose me. He used the analogy of a "monkey trap". :frustrating:I told him that we cannot continue to stay friends if he decides to choose her (too much temptation for emotional cheating / him sharing his emotions with me, but not developing communication with her). I also told him he needs to give her 100% of himself to her and forget about me if he decides he wants to be w/ her. I told him how excited I am to hear from him & how we just seem to "understand" each other so well (to which he nodded in agreement). I ended up crying a lot & he apologized for doing what he was doing. He kept wanting to know if we are going to have a friendship...to which I told him, it is impossible to move back because we are too close & we know we can both have something more. :crying:
He said he will come by on Thursday/Friday to give me some wine and mead that he made. I told him, after he comes by, we cannot talk until May 10th. At that time, he can make his decision for sure. Some say I have lost the "ball" in my court & that it is stupid to even pursue this because he isn't totally over his ex (from his descriptions of her, it sounds she has tried to change him whereas he has told me that it is refreshing that I accept him for who he is.:frustrating:
Any thoughts on this matter?
Yesterday, a friend of mine (tested as both an ENFP & INFP), who I met through university a few months back came by to my place yesterday on his way from his parents place. Long story short, him and I have developed an extremely deep connection (we have texted/talked every single day since the first day of March). He is doing his teaching practicum in a another city, while I am doing my in my town....It was established a few weeks back that we both have feelings for each other. Only problem is, he has some trust issues from a previous relationship (due to ex cheating on him...this was 4 years ago) & also, he said he doesn't want to drag me into that.
So, here is the situation at hand... we know that we have an amazing bond and that we feel for each other in a "more than friends way", however he told that his mind is asking him to return to his ex (not that one that cheated on him, but another) because she feels like a "old hat" and he is "comfortable" with her. On the other hand, his heart is telling him to choose me. He used the analogy of a "monkey trap". :frustrating:I told him that we cannot continue to stay friends if he decides to choose her (too much temptation for emotional cheating / him sharing his emotions with me, but not developing communication with her). I also told him he needs to give her 100% of himself to her and forget about me if he decides he wants to be w/ her. I told him how excited I am to hear from him & how we just seem to "understand" each other so well (to which he nodded in agreement). I ended up crying a lot & he apologized for doing what he was doing. He kept wanting to know if we are going to have a friendship...to which I told him, it is impossible to move back because we are too close & we know we can both have something more. :crying:
He said he will come by on Thursday/Friday to give me some wine and mead that he made. I told him, after he comes by, we cannot talk until May 10th. At that time, he can make his decision for sure. Some say I have lost the "ball" in my court & that it is stupid to even pursue this because he isn't totally over his ex (from his descriptions of her, it sounds she has tried to change him whereas he has told me that it is refreshing that I accept him for who he is.:frustrating:
Any thoughts on this matter?