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How strong would you say your self-critic is? Do certain situations trip it? Do you focus more on the past, present, or the future?
Any tips/tricks for telling your self-critic to shut up?




For me, my self-critic is pretty strong most of the time. Especially if relationships with others don't go as planned, or people don't react/communicate/view the relationship like I want them to. This leads to a lot of focusing on the past. If the relationship takes a nose dive, my self-critic starts a loop of self-degrading thoughts, and in an effort to get it to shut up, I try to fix it whatever way I can. I think this has a lot to do with the strength of my SX (relationships w/ others) variant, but I think the 6 in my tritype plays into it as well (anxiety).

One of the only ways I've discovered in getting my self-critic to shut it is to immerse myself in sensual pleasures. This means being aware of all the things I can touch, taste, smell, hear, and see. Maybe a walk out in Nature, just appreciating everything.

I'm really interested to see what you guys say.
 
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The SP tendencies in all 1s is vulnerable to becoming frustrated with how to we act in various situations, so we do rethink how things gone wrong in our past and blame ourselves. My understanding of the type 1 variants are different, and align with this reading by Naranjo http://www.breakoutofthebox.com/NaranjoSubtypes.pdf SX according to Naranjo is a way of life that is in other people's business trying to change others in order to allow for a deep connection.

I thought you were going a different direction with the second paragraph for a moment, but you stayed PG. The out-doors are a place in which is responsibility free and it's an environment which is just happy to live for the moment. It's understandable how such tendencies could be possible.
 

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How strong would you say your self-critic is? I'd say fairly strong in the way that I'm a perfectionist but I wouldn't say it's always in a negative way - I am just always aware when I could have done better and I think when it's realistic and leads to further improvement and doesn't cause you to beat yourself up then it's okay and even good.

Do certain situations trip it? I'm this way with just about everything I do that I genuinely care about so even seemingly little things can "trip it up."

Do you focus more on the past, present, or the future? I'd say the future but when I'm feeling nostalgic I obviously tend to focus on the past.

Any tips/tricks for telling your self-critic to shut up? When I feel myself becoming overly obsessive about something (in a negative way), I try to take a step back (in my mind) and look at the big picture - how much does this REALLY matter? Am I making too big of a deal out of this? Does it really matter all that much if it's not perfect in the long run? And 9 times out of 10 the answer will be "no, it doesn't matter" so then I'm able to allow myself to relax.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
The SP tendencies in all 1s is vulnerable to becoming frustrated with how to we act in various situations, so we do rethink how things gone wrong in our past and blame ourselves. My understanding of the type 1 variants are different, and align with this reading by Naranjo http://www.breakoutofthebox.com/NaranjoSubtypes.pdf SX according to Naranjo is a way of life that is in other people's business trying to change others in order to allow for a deep connection.
Interesting article. I'll have to bookmark it and look at it more in depth once my school workload eases off (in about two weeks). I'm always interested to hear all the different opinions about different aspects of the Enneagram.

I thought you were going a different direction with the second paragraph for a moment, but you stayed PG. The out-doors are a place in which is responsibility free and it's an environment which is just happy to live for the moment. It's understandable how such tendencies could be possible.
Hahaha, tripped up by the word sensual, huh? :p Usually when I use the word "sensual" I am referring to the senses....I enjoy getting wrapped up in all things having to do with the senses. It's a lot better, IMO, to be wrapped up in stuff like that instead of my past mistakes. I'm such a past-dweller that it really works against me sometimes. Bringing my focus back to the present via senses is always something I've enjoyed, and I'd recommend it to anyone.
 
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How strong would you say your self-critic is? I'd say fairly strong in the way that I'm a perfectionist but I wouldn't say it's always in a negative way - I am just always aware when I could have done better and I think when it's realistic and leads to further improvement and doesn't cause you to beat yourself up then it's okay and even good.

Do certain situations trip it? I'm this way with just about everything I do that I genuinely care about so even seemingly little things can "trip it up."

Do you focus more on the past, present, or the future? I'd say the future but when I'm feeling nostalgic I obviously tend to focus on the past.

Any tips/tricks for telling your self-critic to shut up? When I feel myself becoming overly obsessive about something (in a negative way), I try to take a step back (in my mind) and look at the big picture - how much does this REALLY matter? Am I making too big of a deal out of this? Does it really matter all that much if it's not perfect in the long run? And 9 times out of 10 the answer will be "no, it doesn't matter" so then I'm able to allow myself to relax.
Wow, I should really take a page from your book. I tend to do the exact opposite of what you do.
I'm learning though.
 

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Interesting article. I'll have to bookmark it and look at it more in depth once my school workload eases off (in about two weeks). I'm always interested to hear all the different opinions about different aspects of the Enneagram.
The only reason I really enjoy it is because it appears to view the instinctual variants from a very different perspective. I wouldn't say that it matches anything on the internet, and he may even describe the variants themselves differently than RH or others because he does manage to get a very different description out of each.


Hahaha, tripped up by the word sensual, huh? :p Usually when I use the word "sensual" I am referring to the senses....
I'm a guy :p What can I say?


I enjoy getting wrapped up in all things having to do with the senses. It's a lot better, IMO, to be wrapped up in stuff like that instead of my past mistakes. I'm such a past-dweller that it really works against me sometimes. Bringing my focus back to the present via senses is always something I've enjoyed, and I'd recommend it to anyone.
True, I know I'm someone who is always inside his own head pushing around ideas or some sort, and backtracking always. I view it as a means to answer problems, but it may not be the most healthy practice.
 

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How strong would you say your self-critic is?

Stronger than I realized. Unlike a lot of people here, my inner critic attacks me on a subconscious level. I do not have active discussions with my inner critic. Some of the exact content of the messages she has given me has only recently come to light, and they are downright ugly. I was in denial as to how much of an enemy to myself I really was. I mean, I've been labelled by others as "My own worst critic", and I didn't take this seriously for a good twelve years after this was pointed out to me.

Do certain situations trip it?

Clinical depression and anxiety, do, as do my physical health problems. Also, if things have not been going my way and I feel somehow that I must be to blame (I take the blame for all kinds of stupid stuff), that will send the inner critic into overdrive.

Do you focus more on the past, present, or the future?

Definitely future. My past was traumatic. My present is quite bad, and I'm trying desperately to fix it. I feel like without the future, what is there left for me to live for? It's the only thing that hasn't been tainted in my life, thus far, as it hasn't occurred yet.

Any tips/tricks for telling your self-critic to shut up?

I'm actually in therapy, and I recently learned how much my attempts at perfect myself have led to serious problems in my life. I'm in counselling and hypnotherapy. Hypnosis is helpful to me- you are more suggestible in an altered state of consciousness, thus more open to ideas than in regular waking state. When I started making regular contact with my subconscious mind, I saw the ugliness that I had been deceived with, and saw my fear of being a corrupt, disgusting human being. And by addressing the core issue, this has helped to silence the inner critic to a great degree. My hypnotist issued me some challenges that I believe are meant to help unhealthy E1s like myself (and are probably useful to average/healthy Ones as well). I can't find the list atm, but it was useful advice, and I may post some of it here at a later time, as it may help others with similar struggles (we'll see). Basically, her advice was a huge a wake up call for me. If I continue on the path I'm on, it will lead to my downfall, and the last thing I want to do is continue to do the wrong thing for me. I continue the way I have been, and the depression and feelings of utter worthlessness will consume me for sure. I do not wish for this to be how things end up.
 

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@akmcarpenoctem
How strong would you say your self-critic is?

Mine is pretty strong when I know I'm afraid of doing wrong. I find I can become very reluctant, particularly in the way of timing and understanding the complete situation, which comes over time. Social issues bother me when I focus on them, but it is more of a cause and effect vision than a ideological save the whales focus, but enough experience builds an ideology through rules and principles.

Do certain situations trip it?
When I have responsibility and a need to fulfill some sort of debt I'll do my best to do it. As I've told people in the past, clocking in work makes me sensitive to my ability to help the cause in a general sense, but also not to be blamed for not doing my part. Gaining consistency is my ways creates stability in my product for myself and others, so I focus on having that.

Do you focus more on the past, present, or the future?
Past and present. I focus on how I was able to make things go just right then try to recreate that given the current situation. I'll often ask myself "What should I be doing right now" and make an effort to keep moving forward on projects. PerC keeps me from becoming too disciplined :p I used to become ultra focused on school, and at some point burn myself out. Future is focused on with regards to what will be expected of me and I fret a lot.

Any tips/tricks for telling your self-critic to shut up?
The shoulds and need to's never stop. The drive to live life and interact best with my environment will always be there.
 

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How strong would you say your self-critic is?

Not very strong. Usually only comes out when I'm really stressed or have done something way out of line.

On the other hand, I do have an inner irony counter.

Do certain situations trip it?

Yeah, if I'm stressed and feeling like I'm in over my head in a given situation. It doesn't emerge until after the damage is done, though.

At which point I lay a round of punches on it and tell it to shut the hell up.

Do you focus more on the past, present, or the future?

Present and future. I do not prefer to dwell in the past. I find it inhibits planning for tomorrow.

Any tips/tricks for telling your self-critic to shut up?

I tell it to shut the hell up and go back to work. When you're busy, you have no time for contemplation.
 
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