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Discussion Starter #1
I would like to hear your stories about Si maturation. Some say that use of Si usually becomes more conscious for INFPs in their early thirties, and for me it seems to apply pretty well.

I feel like I am slowly attaining a greater appreciation of routines, a better grasp of the relative importance of details, and a more nuanced understanding of the signs my body is sending me and how it relates to the past, present and future. Really I feel a lot more grounded, and more able to assess how realistic my plans and ambitions are.

It seems like it's indirectly tied to Te aswell, since the routines, sensations and details are often put to use by organizing them to reach some goal.

Have you experienced something similar? I'll try to see if I can come up with more specific examples to share with you.

Cheers,
Vergilius
 

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a better grasp of the relative importance of details, and a more nuanced understanding of the signs my body is sending me and how it relates to the past, present and future. Really I feel a lot more grounded, and more able to assess how realistic my plans and ambitions are.

It seems like it's indirectly tied to Te aswell, since the routines, sensations and details are often put to use by organizing them to reach some goal.
Yes! Those.

Can't say I enjoy meaningless routines or that I have a good grasp on them, it's more that I don't even think about them because
1. My morning routine (small one) keeps me sane and is meaningful
2. My other routines (big ones) are not self-established, they are established by the external force that is whatever job I'm working at any given time. These routines are meaningless and bring me no special joy or special depression. They just are.
What depresses me is the people at work/relations, not the work itself even if it's meaningless (I'll do meaningless anything if I'm being paid) nor the structure of the day (am I being paid for following this structure? then I'm content).

I do make routines for myself on the weekends, during vacation time, etc. effortlessly. Not full of "shoulds" but things that make me feel grounded and productive in my own subjective way, and sometimes they are things I don't totally feel like doing, but I know they are good for me. I have this mantra for things that feel like chores "This is good for me, this is good for me".
I don't know why I'm someone who needs groundedness and certainty so much... it's always been this way, even as a child.. I don't know if it's a Sp thing or not... but I can't exist in a limbo. Even when I travel on vacation, I need stuff to do. I can't sit for five hours in the sun. That's not relaxing to my nerves. What relaxes me is gentle movement. Not speed, just know that I am moving slowly but surely and being 0.02% better than yesterday.

I set up an alarm clock even on the weekends, just because I have a special comforting routine that I love to follow, and it's been the same exact routine since I was a teenager. I'm a natural morning person. Never been a night owl. There are personal things I NEED to do in the mornings to stay sane during the day, so I get myself out of bed excitedly to get to "work". It doesn't feel like work, the routine, it feels like soul, everything is quiet and it's like I'm in a womb. Getting ready to go face the world.
On days when I can't do my morning routine, I struggle with life severely. Like this summer I spent one month on call, because one of my parents was diagnosed with a serious illness, and hospital became my life. I couldn't have a routine because I was perpetually on call. And if the hospital called at 5am, I had to get up and go in my pajamas asap. If they called at 7pm, I had to stop dinner and go. Etc. The only reason I felt so mentally insane was the lack of predictability in my time/hours, not because of the events themselves.

My routine, I maintain even on weekends and holidays. I wake up at a certain hour (oftentimes I don't need an alarm because my body naturally wakes up early), pee, groom, make coffee in the same exact way, in the same exact mug, sit in the same exact spot, and so on. This morning routine lasts a good two hours. If I have to start work at 6am, I will wake up a 4am because I cannot be mentally healthy unless I do my routine. It grounds me, it makes me feel like myself, it keeps me sane.

I do have goals, and I've been into planners for many years. I've accomplished many things that I'm personally proud of, and I wouldn't be able to feel good or happy if I wasn't aiming for microactions towards long-term goals everyday. And yes, like you said, I think I am quite a realistic person (just imo). The only people who have ever said I'm unrealistic is my SJ father who is obsessed with "what is". I trust my INTJ friends much more, and they are always super supportive of me and believe that my goals are perfectly reasonable and achievable. I trust their judgment, and they inspire me to keep going.

I love the late 20s and now early 30s. It's literally the best thing that's happened to me, seriously. I think 28 changed my life effortlessly, and it's only gotten better and better. And I think it's only going to get even better and better. The 30s are a blessing, I feel like I'm finally able to be a human being who can cope with life. But I still have a long way to go, if I look at where I'd like to be. Have my shit perfectly together and have a more resilient nervous system. I hope I can get there one day, I certainly work my ass off in terms of self-development to become my ideal self.

I'm not sure I answered the question super well. But just trying to share my experience.
 

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That was just the kind of answer I was looking for :)

I can really relate to the part about wanting to have "a more resilient nervous system". Really I think I have to get better at taking care about my mental and physical health. I'm pretty easily shaken unless I'm in good condition, and it's all too easy for me to overexert myself.

Totally jealous of your morning routines, getting a good start in the morning is definitely a challenge for me. I'm not a morning person though :)


Yes! Those.

Can't say I enjoy meaningless routines or that I have a good grasp on them, it's more that I don't even think about them because
1. My morning routine (small one) keeps me sane and is meaningful
2. My other routines (big ones) are not self-established, they are established by the external force that is whatever job I'm working at any given time. These routines are meaningless and bring me no special joy or special depression. They just are.
What depresses me is the people at work/relations, not the work itself even if it's meaningless (I'll do meaningless anything if I'm being paid) nor the structure of the day (am I being paid for following this structure? then I'm content).

I do make routines for myself on the weekends, during vacation time, etc. effortlessly. Not full of "shoulds" but things that make me feel grounded and productive in my own subjective way, and sometimes they are things I don't totally feel like doing, but I know they are good for me. I have this mantra for things that feel like chores "This is good for me, this is good for me".
I don't know why I'm someone who needs groundedness and certainty so much... it's always been this way, even as a child.. I don't know if it's a Sp thing or not... but I can't exist in a limbo. Even when I travel on vacation, I need stuff to do. I can't sit for five hours in the sun. That's not relaxing to my nerves. What relaxes me is gentle movement. Not speed, just know that I am moving slowly but surely and being 0.02% better than yesterday.

I set up an alarm clock even on the weekends, just because I have a special comforting routine that I love to follow, and it's been the same exact routine since I was a teenager. I'm a natural morning person. Never been a night owl. There are personal things I NEED to do in the mornings to stay sane during the day, so I get myself out of bed excitedly to get to "work". It doesn't feel like work, the routine, it feels like soul, everything is quiet and it's like I'm in a womb. Getting ready to go face the world.
On days when I can't do my morning routine, I struggle with life severely. Like this summer I spent one month on call, because one of my parents was diagnosed with a serious illness, and hospital became my life. I couldn't have a routine because I was perpetually on call. And if the hospital called at 5am, I had to get up and go in my pajamas asap. If they called at 7pm, I had to stop dinner and go. Etc. The only reason I felt so mentally insane was the lack of predictability in my time/hours, not because of the events themselves.

My routine, I maintain even on weekends and holidays. I wake up at a certain hour (oftentimes I don't need an alarm because my body naturally wakes up early), pee, groom, make coffee in the same exact way, in the same exact mug, sit in the same exact spot, and so on. This morning routine lasts a good two hours. If I have to start work at 6am, I will wake up a 4am because I cannot be mentally healthy unless I do my routine. It grounds me, it makes me feel like myself, it keeps me sane.

I do have goals, and I've been into planners for many years. I've accomplished many things that I'm personally proud of, and I wouldn't be able to feel good or happy if I wasn't aiming for microactions towards long-term goals everyday. And yes, like you said, I think I am quite a realistic person (just imo). The only people who have ever said I'm unrealistic is my SJ father who is obsessed with "what is". I trust my INTJ friends much more, and they are always super supportive of me and believe that my goals are perfectly reasonable and achievable. I trust their judgment, and they inspire me to keep going.

I love the late 20s and now early 30s. It's literally the best thing that's happened to me, seriously. I think 28 changed my life effortlessly, and it's only gotten better and better. And I think it's only going to get even better and better. The 30s are a blessing, I feel like I'm finally able to be a human being who can cope with life. But I still have a long way to go, if I look at where I'd like to be. Have my shit perfectly together and have a more resilient nervous system. I hope I can get there one day, I certainly work my ass off in terms of self-development to become my ideal self.

I'm not sure I answered the question super well. But just trying to share my experience.
 
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