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The idea of socializing itself is something I'm thinking a lot about these days. I'm off to college in a couple of days to finish my last year in college and I've had mixed experiences with it. On one hand, I've found a few great friends but most of them have graduated. On the other (particularly in my school for some reason), I've found that too many people to be more interested in the images or personas they portray to their peers rather than revealing a more "true" part of themselves and engaging in a relationship that is based on enjoying each other's company, having good conversations, and understanding the limits of being alone I guess... don't know how to articulate the last one better.
So I have a tendency to judge "fakeness" or "inauthenticity" in people... of course, socializing (because it relies on expression and the standards by which many of us choose to relate) can be argued to be "fake" by its nature... I understand that. But what I'm having trouble dealing with is when that's all that people do... it's like I notice friends who are different all the damn time. And it's not like they are necessarily dealing with another creature so to speak so they have a different way of responding and expressing themselves... what I perceive/suspect is that they are doing so most often to uphold the best image for the persona they are choosing at that instance.
The question boils down to how much of your personality/identity/self/whatever are you willing to compromise just to socialize as well as influence what others think of you? In my mind it's simple, I don't think I should pretend to be someone else at this moment when I know that I cannot resist being myself in the future. I want to be myself.
Essentially, it is a tension I have in my brain and works subconsciously, particularly when it manifests in the "awkward self-consciousness" that is embedded in how I conversate with strangers. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with it. What I'm more worried about is whether it is worth it to socialize with the people I assume are generally more interested in their "persona". I think socializing can be a good thing, especially with people who are have opinions, are sensitive, and are not totally self-interested. Just in case, I'm in the camp of being not so talkative until I feel comfortable and start revealing more and more of myself. Of course, I understand that people have different ways of presenting themselves.
So yeah, as the topic suggests... what do you think about my situation and about socializing in general. I'm pretty sure there might be those who notice contradictions between my definitions of socializing and "fakeness"/"persona". I don't know.
And I'm also most interested in how INTPs deal with this, as I know they are stereotypically known as being socially inept and those who possibly question socializing the most.
So I have a tendency to judge "fakeness" or "inauthenticity" in people... of course, socializing (because it relies on expression and the standards by which many of us choose to relate) can be argued to be "fake" by its nature... I understand that. But what I'm having trouble dealing with is when that's all that people do... it's like I notice friends who are different all the damn time. And it's not like they are necessarily dealing with another creature so to speak so they have a different way of responding and expressing themselves... what I perceive/suspect is that they are doing so most often to uphold the best image for the persona they are choosing at that instance.
The question boils down to how much of your personality/identity/self/whatever are you willing to compromise just to socialize as well as influence what others think of you? In my mind it's simple, I don't think I should pretend to be someone else at this moment when I know that I cannot resist being myself in the future. I want to be myself.
Essentially, it is a tension I have in my brain and works subconsciously, particularly when it manifests in the "awkward self-consciousness" that is embedded in how I conversate with strangers. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with it. What I'm more worried about is whether it is worth it to socialize with the people I assume are generally more interested in their "persona". I think socializing can be a good thing, especially with people who are have opinions, are sensitive, and are not totally self-interested. Just in case, I'm in the camp of being not so talkative until I feel comfortable and start revealing more and more of myself. Of course, I understand that people have different ways of presenting themselves.
So yeah, as the topic suggests... what do you think about my situation and about socializing in general. I'm pretty sure there might be those who notice contradictions between my definitions of socializing and "fakeness"/"persona". I don't know.