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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Your thoughts on... A relationship with an ENTJ. In this case, the ENTJ the male & ISTJ the female.

Thanks to a fellow ENTJ, I was told ISTJ was the best match for my vague description.

I'm selfish at times & do my own thing. I am opinionated, stubborn & have a serious approach to life. However, given the right type I would be loyal to her & there are people in my life I am loyal to even they do not know it.

This is an extremely vague description...

Have the emotional maturity & courage to be honest with me.

She will have to be able to put up with my intense personality & know that I show my emotions/feelings through action much more than words, she would have to know I care even though I do not emphasize on verbalizing it.

She would have to be headstrong, yet elegant as a female should be. As long as she is mine I will treat her as I treat myself.

Does the above describe you? Please elaborate if so/if not & post whatever you believe is relevant.

I'll post more, depending on the responses I get.
 

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Have the emotional maturity & courage to be honest with me. ✓ Yes. Maturity is way too subjective, you may want to elaborate. Maturity means forthcoming with information and/or criticism? Means answering questions fully and directly? Means sharing feelings honestly, without expectation of return, and detached from worry of rejection? If your gf is an ISTJ, you can probably count on her not trying to manipulate you. As for maturity in any combination of the terms I've described, it seems rare among all types.

She will have to be able to put up with my intense personality
✓ Yes.

& know that I show my emotions/feelings through action much more than words
, ✓ Mmm.. action.

she would have to know I care even though I do not emphasize on verbalizing it.
✓ Yes. But, don't assume that any future commitment exists, if nothing has been verbalized.

She would have to be headstrong, yet elegant as a female should be. ✓ Yes. I don't know.. I tend to be a bit rough but can turn on the charm in a second. Throw me into a dress and heels, and it's deadly. [+add 15 yrs of grooming in social interaction, say from age 3-18.] I perform under pressure; and also out of obligation to my role; and sometimes just to entertain myself, intrigue others, or keep them at bay.

As long as she is mine I will treat her as I treat myself.
Aww, that is sweet. A note I like to give myself sometimes: treat others how you would like to be treated, if you were them.

Does the above describe you? Was this a personals add and I missed it?
 

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This is an extremely vague description...

I'll post more, depending on the responses I get.
You need to clarify your post to get some more responses. Based on your description, I would have been scared of you as a young woman. I wouldn't have had the "courage" to be honest with you except to say, "Um, I'm busy."
 

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MOTM May 2011
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Your thoughts on... A relationship with an ENTJ. In this case, the ENTJ the male & ISTJ the female.

Thanks to a fellow ENTJ, I was told ISTJ was the best match for my vague description.

I'm selfish at times & do my own thing. I am opinionated, stubborn & have a serious approach to life. However, given the right type I would be loyal to her & there are people in my life I am loyal to even they do not know it.

This is an extremely vague description...

Have the emotional maturity & courage to be honest with me.

She will have to be able to put up with my intense personality & know that I show my emotions/feelings through action much more than words, she would have to know I care even though I do not emphasize on verbalizing it.

She would have to be headstrong, yet elegant as a female should be. As long as she is mine I will treat her as I treat myself.

Does the above describe you? Please elaborate if so/if not & post whatever you believe is relevant.

I'll post more, depending on the responses I get.
It needs to be equal. If you get to be opinionated, taciturn, etc., then so does she - without complaint from you. If you expect a classy lady, you have to be a classy guy. Sometimes it is easy to focus on what we want more than what we bring to the table.

Not being a female ISTJ, I can't directly respond to your question.
 

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MOTM Feb 2012
ISTJ 9w1
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Your thoughts on... A relationship with an ENTJ. In this case, the ENTJ the male & ISTJ the female.

Thanks to a fellow ENTJ, I was told ISTJ was the best match for my vague description.

I'm selfish at times & do my own thing. I am opinionated, stubborn & have a serious approach to life. However, given the right type I would be loyal to her & there are people in my life I am loyal to even they do not know it.

This is an extremely vague description...

Have the emotional maturity & courage to be honest with me.

She will have to be able to put up with my intense personality & know that I show my emotions/feelings through action much more than words, she would have to know I care even though I do not emphasize on verbalizing it.

She would have to be headstrong, yet elegant as a female should be. As long as she is mine I will treat her as I treat myself.

Does the above describe you? Please elaborate if so/if not & post whatever you believe is relevant.

I'll post more, depending on the responses I get.
Okay, so I don't know exactly how you decided that ISTJ fit that description. That can fit any MBTI type, really.

Regardless, since you are an 8, I don't think looking on the ISTJ forums is your best bet. According to this site your type often marries types 2 and 6. Your type tends to avoid types 1, 3, and 5. According to this chart:


Your chances are high for finding an "incompatible" ISTJ (Type 1, 5, or 3) and low for finding a "compatible" ISTJ (Type 2 or 6). You have higher chances of success with an ESFJ, ISFJ, ENFJ, or ESFP/ENFP.

In conclusion, if you couldn't tell, I think MBTI matters not for compatibility, whereas enneagram is onto something.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Okay, so I don't know exactly how you decided that ISTJ fit that description. That can fit any MBTI type, really.

Regardless, since you are an 8, I don't think looking on the ISTJ forums is your best bet. According to this site your type often marries types 2 and 6. Your type tends to avoid types 1, 3, and 5. According to this chart:


Your chances are high for finding an "incompatible" ISTJ (Type 1, 5, or 3) and low for finding a "compatible" ISTJ (Type 2 or 6). You have higher chances of success with an ESFJ, ISFJ, ENFJ, or ESFP/ENFP.

In conclusion, if you couldn't tell, I think MBTI matters not for compatibility, whereas enneagram is onto something.
Much appreciated @MBTI Enthusiast
 

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Greetings, @MisterD. I see we both found the ISTJ board lol.

I disagree with the ennagram study. I'm an ENTJ type 3 happily married to an ISTJ type 5, which according to that study is nonexistant. It basically boils down to the individuals which cannot be pinned down with certainty to 16 types and 9 enneagrams... I think there are a lot of external factors that can come into play (like education, culture, background, age, etc) that are not being incorporated. Not saying the study is entirely flawed... it probably shows what types WORK... but the ones that aren't statistically highlighted over a small sample size and self prescribed typing doesn't indicate it doesn't work.

My wife's major pursuit is knowledge, which is common among both of us. The difference is that she wants to master it... I just want to casually know the general concept so I'm familiar. We have no problems here because its relevant for her field (medicine) and one of the major reasons I respect her and her career. I also pursue knowledge myself, so its kind of a shared passion in a way though we approach it differently.

My major pursuit is success. I'm a suit and tie type whose main goal in life is to climb the corporate ladder and make as much as money as possible to support me and my family. I don't do this through manipulation, deceit, or brute force - I do this through competence and hard work. She has no problem with this because she values a driven, ambitious husband who values intelligence/competence.

We've even talked about going into business with each other opening our own medical practice/contracting agency. She would handle the day to day activities in operations and I would be in charge of the strategy/growth/innovation. We've recognized each other's strengths and weaknesses and learned to compliment each other, which leads me to my next point.

The biggest factor in an ISTJ/ENTJ relationship is how open-minded/healthy/developed each individual is. The ISTJ needs to learn to value, appreciate, and accept Ni as a reputable source. They are cautious towards it, because even we can't explain how Ni is derived sometimes... so their skepticism is a bit warranted. It can take a while in the relationship before this trust is earned, but it needs to happen (and most likely will as it proves itself time and time again). Likewise, the ENTJ needs to learn to value Si. We often will reinvent the wheel coming full circle to a well established Si way of doing things. Sometimes you just need to stop searching for how to do something and forfeit to a proven way.

Not being a type 8, I'm not sure how the dynamics would work out, but I would imagine that you would have to relinquish a lot of power/control to the ISTJ. If you don't think you are capable of that, I can't see the relationship working out. The ENTJ/ISTJ dynamic works out great because Ni and Si can be played to cover each other's strengths and weaknesses but it involves playing on the same team rather than a superior/subordinate relationship.
 
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