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While I appreciate books like Le Petit Prince that advocate keeping one's childlike joy and wonder into adulthood, I've always wanted to grow up as quickly as possible. Honestly, being a child limits you and now that my brain is (mostly) developed, my life goals seem more meaningful and worth going for. Plus, think of all the things that you can do as an adult when you live on your own and are getting your own money.

Funnily enough, my wanting to be an adult and grow up quicker to give myself more opportunities also makes me want to stay single a while longer. Not being tied down and all that. That's a common theme between relationships and childhood for me.
 

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It's exactly like being a child except the only thing preventing me living on ice cream and spending all my money on gadgets and games I'll only play with once is me, and I'm not quite as good at it as my mum and the lack of income used to be.
 

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7w6, disappointed, never really wanted to grow up. My parents like to tell me about when I turned five, my dad told me like "I'm just sad, I won't be seeing my little four-year old anymore" like something other kids might think was funny but it made me really sad and tried to comfort him, every year when I got older it...I mean I loved my birthday, loved growing up and reaching new numbers :D but I was always aware every year was one less year of my life, wanted to hold onto time and holding onto childhood was part of that.

Or like...I wanted to get married, have kids from a young age, tried to build my own house in our backyard, was hoping my parents would decide I was mature enough to go live in that house by myself :D But I don't think I ever desperately wanted to grow up, and when I got older and realized I'd have to forge some sort of path of my own I didn't know how or want to do that, making my own decisions completely alone is just scary and weird to me, I liked being told what to do, I liked being forced to go to school and socialize, I liked being able to judge my success by the marks I got on my papers, life was like a game and I was forced to have a life, I'm not good at doing things on my own, idea of growing up just scared me, didn't know where I'd go

And always felt nostalgic for the days I was living, have a lot of papers telling me about every detail of my life like knowing I'd miss it

Leaving childhood just always seemed to be a big tragedy for me and honestly don't think I've done it properly, still don't know how to get on in the world

This is my favorite song about leaving childhood, it's about a doll waiting for her mistress to come home, then being given to a neighbouring family and abandoned in the rain:



Doll Masha, Doll Misha
Doll Sasha and Arisha
It's just that the childhood years passed
(And the tears are like rain, again and again)
Doll Masha, Doll Dasha
It's just that children became older
It's just that we all grew up
 

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I don't think I've ever pay attention much to it as a child - I was always curious and excited about growing up---around my adolescent years I started developing this fear of kids and marriage- I was afraid that it will get in my way of living life to the fullest - and I fear the responsibility it carries ( I may love my partner but his entire family???)
I don't mind growing up so much- I enjoy it quite much, I enjoy the adult life of marriage +kids- If anything having kids made me happier and more fulfilled . The only thing I'm not looking forward to is death of close family members( I'm very close to my mom and relatives) guess that's a part of growing up that I will never look forward to

7w8

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I neither wanted to grow up, or stay young forever. I'm pretty sure that, once I became a teenager, I just wanted to drop dead. To this very day, I secretly pray that that will happen in my next sleep.

The worst part of growing up, I found, was how conscious I became of time. It's reached a point where I can almost feel every second ticking by simply through the flowing of my blood. Everything I do, now, seems to be a need to make that blood flow more pleasently, more tolerably; and that if its pace is altered for something unsatisfying or intolerable, then it's a waste.

If I want to start something new, or gain more knowledge in reference to something, the first question that comes to mind is, What's the point? Is it worth it? Is it necessary? And for the most part the answers are: No, there is no point; No, it's not worth it; No, it isn't necessary: and thus projects are abandoned. As a child, all of this felt more freeing and possible and achievable, because there were preset goals and awards available that enabled tangible competition; but leaving childhood such concepts feel left behind, and that I must create my own goals, and even if I achieve those goals ... cool. Thumbs-up. Now, back to square one. Nobody cares.

I am still young and borderline youth, so I have a chunk of life left in me to deal with. If everything I have started thus far is simply a foreshadowing for the rest of my life, I may very well go mad and get locked away. I read a great deal, with a diverse range in comprehension, so books and libraries are my only familiarity from childhood, as well as solitrary walks and crying myself to sleep.

The suspense is killing me -- literally.
 

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More in depth response:

I grew up too quickly from the start while lagging behind in other ways, so I always related to those older or younger rather than my own age.

I didn't think of it this way back then, but I think intuitively I always knew I seemed to be missing a lot of the coping tools you are supposed to learn to be able to regulate emotions, form healthy identity and attachments, and just navigate the world in general. The things adults are supposed to be able to do.

I could never even IMAGINE what being an adult must be like, it's like adults came from some other plane of existence and they were these unfeeling, AND often rather illogical alien robots and I didn't ever want to be that way. Predictably, I went from being precocious in most milestones to lagging in most.

So I was terrified, and clung instead to my sense of passion and wonder, immersing myself in imagination and art that some might consider childish, while also rejecting so many of the typical experiences one is supposed to go through as an adolescent. I was above it. But really I was afraid of it. I got very involved with political and social equality issues as a teenager and it made me feel alive, I desperately wanted other people to "wake up" and I swore to myself I would never, ever be like the adults I observed, mindlessly living their lives and blocking out reality instead of dealing with it. But I did end up losing some of that vitality and hope, and perhaps it was only realistic that I would, with my natural tendency always having been self-preservation, and dwelling in thoughts and feelings and concepts as if they could substitute real life experiences.


I remember my childhood vividly which still informs me about who I am and what the world is, a lot of the time. I have changed and evolved of course but, I still strongly identify with similar values and still chase many of the same themes and dreams. I'm much more cynical now, but it's that sort of connection to my past I channel to continue thriving when I consider giving up.

I think my strategy for dealing with life will always be to withdraw for long periods of time and then just throw myself into life no matter how unprepared. Not very mature or practical, but it's what I know.
 

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I am 5w6. I didn't think about growing up much when I was young besides planning my career and wanting to earn a lot (without thinking about the steps I'd need to take to get there or how I might change in the process).

I do remember that at some point I started noticing what seemed like a huge difference between myself and what adults seemed like (but I should say that my life was very socially controlled and I didn't have a lot of experience with many different adults). I developed a vague concern that I would never fully or properly grow up in the sense that I couldn't imagine how I'd bridge the gulf between who I was and what adults were like and therefore wouldn't be able to handle adult situations in ways that I couldn't even conceive of as a child/adolescent. In my 20s I figured out that what I'd noticed was a difference in personality, not a difference in maturity.

In adulthood, something (or maybe a series of things) made a large impression on me concerning the importance of a safe and psychologically healthy childhood to child development. So I still don't think much about growing up except that I'm very concerned (sometimes too concerned) about the foundation people get in their childhood. If I see someone speaking harshly to a child, I worry about the kid even though the situation only represents one moment in the kid's life.

Sometimes when I see kids I feel sad because I start thinking that one day soon they'll learn that the world is not as nice a place as it may seem, and they'll be changed forever (for the worse). That first time they are bullied, or hit, or called a slur, or they start to feel gender roles imposing on their freedom and individuality. When they learn that authenticity is often not rewarded and they start to act fake. It's just a crucial time of life and knowing that so many kids are having and will have a (preventable) bad time of it is torture if I let myself think about it. It's like watching the future be destroyed before it can even unfold. So many social problems would be less severe if this period of life were handled properly in more cases.
 

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I always wanted to grow up. When I was a little kid, I thought I wanted to be a photographer, and was excited to think about some far-future time where I'd be on National Geographic's payroll. When I was in 5th grade, I thought about college. And I didn't really stop. In middle school I was just hoping people would be more interesting in high school. By 8th grade I was trying to figure out my future career prospects more seriously. I think I spent 10th-12th grade of high school just waiting to go to college.

And now, as a college student... I love it, the freedom's just as I hoped it would be, but I wish I ever appreciated the lack of responsibility I had. I'm sure I'll be thinking the same thing once I'm out of the education system. I remember hearing people complain about it when I was younger, but I assumed that I would be different because I wanted to grow up so badly. I think this is the first time in my life where I've actually looked back on some aspect of the past longingly. Now it's no longer a matter of waiting, it's a matter of trying to keep up.
 

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I always wanted to grow up. When I was a little kid, I thought I wanted to be a photographer, and was excited to think about some far-future time where I'd be on National Geographic's payroll. When I was in 5th grade, I thought about college. And I didn't really stop. In middle school I was just hoping people would be more interesting in high school. By 8th grade I was trying to figure out my future career prospects more seriously. I think I spent 10th-12th grade of high school just waiting to go to college.

And now, as a college student... I love it, the freedom's just as I hoped it would be, but I wish I ever appreciated the lack of responsibility I had. I'm sure I'll be thinking the same thing once I'm out of the education system. I remember hearing people complain about it when I was younger, but I assumed that I would be different because I wanted to grow up so badly. I think this is the first time in my life where I've actually looked back on some aspect of the past longingly. Now it's no longer a matter of waiting, it's a matter of trying to keep up.
I was actually wondering what your answer to this question would be before I made this thread :fall:

Can't say this is surprising, always think of you as quite mature and independent, but curious what part do you think being a 6 played in this?
Expected 6's to at least have a love/hate relationship to growing up :unsure:


________
Although for me personally it was mostly just pure hate :unsure:

Never really understood what I'd need freedom for, wanted opposite of freedom, there weren't many things I wanted to do but couldn't because I was a child, was more concerned with things I wouldn't be able to do if I wasn't a child, remember being in middle school and realizing I wasn't too young for almost anything anymore, always wanted people to tell me "Nope, can't do it, you're too young for that", or like remember there was a big playground with a really big thing for climbing and I definitely couldn't climb it but I liked trying to climb it especially in front of adults just to feel...small, liked dad and uncle trying to help me and then saying "I think you'll be able to climb it next year!" or something, not because I was looking forward to having the ability but just...the way it made me feel, reminded me so much of how they treated my little cousin.
And my favorite thing in the world was being carried, was so sad when I became too big to carry :(

Sometimes thought about ideal age to be, thought it was 3-4 because I felt like at that age you are aware of yourself but no one knows it.

Just liked being in position of a child, hated not being the youngest person in the room unless there was a baby that I liked, remember I was in a hospital for a couple of weeks when I was 5 or 6 and some teenagers stayed in my room for a couple of days, felt like heaven.
As a teenager when I let go of actively wanting to be a literal child I still loved being the youngest person, felt so sorry for people with younger siblings :laughing:
And like...only recently realized I'll have to actually grow up most likely, knew I'd have to technically be an adult but thought there'd forever be someone there keeping me away from it.

There were some things about adulthood that I wanted but not to the point of wanting to be an adult, and like...I thought everything would be better to experience as a child and I felt like it would be much better to be a mother very young for example when you still remember everything from your childhood and you can still fully enjoy things, and adulthood seemed just...dull, remember creating characters in my mind and I'd always make sure they weren't too old because I thought people over 16 didn't have souls or something, not literally but like...I just expected older people to be so much different emotionally, was so baffled by lack of enthusiasm for things.

Also this
Quernus said:
I didn't think of it this way back then, but I think intuitively I always knew I seemed to be missing a lot of the coping tools you are supposed to learn to be able to regulate emotions, form healthy identity and attachments, and just navigate the world in general. The things adults are supposed to be able to do.
Never felt like I could manage myself, my emotions, even relationships, the way all adults seemed to, I somehow always do things a bit wrong, I always need to explain myself in some way or something, I have so many fears I feel the need to express, or like...just coming into a situation as an adult, looking like an adult, is terrifying to me, subconsciously I always knew no one but someone much older than me would want to put up with me or be able to understand me or have enough patience, took me long to consciously realize that.

Much more to say, endless topic for me.
 

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Hate it. Being a grown-up always seemed so boring and I'll always feel like a child in a way, so the older I get the more uncomfortable I'll get in my own skin (not that I was ever quite comfortable in the first place, but...), it feels so horrible in both a physical and psychological way.

Lol @ the "adults not having a soul"-thing. I mean, the adults in my life could certainly make it seem that way, even going so far as citing their age as a reason why they weren't as interested in things. Made growing up seem even more horrifying, if it apparently took away your ability to enjoy stuff, and just... in general it's like growing up is the death of anything beautiful.


Was talking about this with someone earlier too, trying to explain why I hated growing up, and they were like, well it's nice not having as much responsibility and stuff yeah. :frustrating: And it's like... no, that's not really it (maybe just a part of it...), but just in general, how life is no longer about fun and games and stuff. But do feel like I have a difficult time explaining this in general, even though it's so obvious.

Which does make me feel 7ish in a way, since I definitely have a peter pan syndrome.

Although another thing is how as a child, I think I came across as sort of precocious, or smart/wise for my age in some ways. But the older I get, the more I just feel like... a retard, basically. So a part of it is related to self-esteem and such.
 

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Although another thing is how as a child, I think I came across as sort of precocious, or smart/wise for my age in some ways. But the older I get, the more I just feel like... a retard, basically.
Yeah, same, think I had qualities that made me seem like really wise, talented, always got called an 'old soul', my best guess is things didn't change and now those same qualities make me seem...childish and dumb

Anyways, the sad thing maybe for me is that I feel like my perception's changed so it's harder to enjoy things, I mean I'm a childish 7ish person but it's still...things felt more real somehow back in the day and I wasn't meta about enjoying things, just did, things weren't coming through such a filter

It's not like it feels unrecoverable exactly but it's like:

 

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Not so fond of it, really conscious of it with every passing year. Plus I think we live in a very ageist society. Im very nostalgic but we can't live in the past forever. I have a lot of gratitude and respect though towards the wise and experienced, when you have been though the hormones, the marriages and failed marriages, children, jobs, experiences and have had a lot of time in which to live with yourself. The more somebody has been through, the more that tends to round their character, you can go through truly a lot and not even have reached adulthood yet.
 

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I was actually wondering what your answer to this question would be before I made this thread :fall:

Can't say this is surprising, always think of you as quite mature and independent, but curious what part do you think being a 6 played in this?
Expected 6's to at least have a love/hate relationship to growing up :unsure:
If anything I might associate it more with my 3 fix, that desire to show off to the world that I could execute all that "potential" for something. My desire to grow up was never out of a need to be in control of my life but rather a need to do things that adults can do and start acting on plans that I nurtured for absolute years. The lack of access I had to certain things really annoyed my younger self. Now it's harder, I have access but I don't have a roadmap on how to take advantage of it. As a 6, that latter aspect scares me. Before, the path to success seemed more set-in-stone because I had fewer possible moves to make. I think I'll feel better about the whole thing once I build up my social circle as well. Right now I'm feeling a bit isolated and weightless.
 

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7w8, will do that sometime in the future. For now i don't think i've completely grown up...
 
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1w9. I only wanted the freedom adulthood provided. That's all. No more thoughts or feelings about it.
 

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I always wanted to grow up. When I was a little kid, I thought I wanted to be a photographer, and was excited to think about some far-future time where I'd be on National Geographic's payroll. When I was in 5th grade, I thought about college. And I didn't really stop. In middle school I was just hoping people would be more interesting in high school. By 8th grade I was trying to figure out my future career prospects more seriously. I think I spent 10th-12th grade of high school just waiting to go to college.

And now, as a college student... I love it, the freedom's just as I hoped it would be, but I wish I ever appreciated the lack of responsibility I had. I'm sure I'll be thinking the same thing once I'm out of the education system. I remember hearing people complain about it when I was younger, but I assumed that I would be different because I wanted to grow up so badly. I think this is the first time in my life where I've actually looked back on some aspect of the past longingly. Now it's no longer a matter of waiting, it's a matter of trying to keep up.
Incredibly relatable. I would suppose a big factor in this strong continuously idealisitic future-oriented focus is Ni.

As a kid I always dreamed of being an adult. My parents told me that around the age of 4 i was excitedly telling my parents that I would move out later and live in this specific house that I saw a couple blocks from theirs, above a bakery. I also was deeply convinced I would be a doctor and a GP in particular. I could already imagine myself sitting there, helping people out, having these models of the inside of lungs, or other cool parts of the human body around me (No, not those parts.. I was a child XD). I also hand a fondness for cooking, I could already imagine myself cooking dishes, organizing the kitchen. I also imagined a future where I would develop games, or knew how computers worked from the inside. I was strongly driven by images of me in the future, doing something I thought I would love. In a sense I always looked towards the future. Always waiting for myself to progress, to get to a new class, to gather more knowledge on being a doctor.

People have often told me: "you will miss this, treasure these moments in elementary school/high school", but to be quite honest. I never seem to truly miss being where I was in childhood, because the thing that brought me the biggest joy in childhood was the idea of growing up and getting to know new things and developing the skills to deal with everything. The times I enjoy most exist right now, since in childhood I often felt i was held back by some by some fear or a lack of experience, bullies and other shitty classmates.

So in a sense even though I might miss childhood at times and especially the lack of responsibility I had, along with people that are no longer alive. I still think this moment is better. That doesn't, however, mean that I always manage to enjoy what's happening in the moment. Like I said, I'm future oriented, or at least not oriented towards the current moment. So a big thing for me now is simply learning to be more present without having my mind go of on tangent after tangent and ideal after ideal.

So, I enjoy growing up and I enjoy being grown up more so than being a child. The simple thing I have to learn is that I need to learn to be more satisfied with where I am right now, without going of into Vive-land and imagining myself working towards something in the future or doing something else and working towards some goal. Like the cliche saying: "The goal isn't always what is important"

Also, I'm still really young; I probably would get more past-oriented as I get older and as I start being able to do less and less, but I think I will learn to deal with that when that time comes.
 

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Remnants said:
Was talking about this with someone earlier too, trying to explain why I hated growing up, and they were like, well it's nice not having as much responsibility and stuff yeah. And it's like... no, that's not really it (maybe just a part of it...), but just in general, how life is no longer about fun and games and stuff. But do feel like I have a difficult time explaining this in general, even though it's so obvious.
Different but yeah, remember hating that time when I started getting 'useful' things as gifts and clothes unless it was something really special I really wanted and even then I wanted that+something else, hated it so much, always wanted things that would be fun and just directly make me happy, but things just...stopped being about that at some point somehow, hard to explain with the gift things but...
But also just hate people trying to idk prepare me for something or somehow educate me about something every moment of my life, as a child really liked solving puzzles with my dad but I thought he should buy them for himself and share them with me, not get them for me lol, he always tries to get kids smart toys to stimulate their minds.

Sound like I'm not explaining the point properly, hate things not being about my in the moment happiness, or other people's, not just mine.

Think people just look at me so differently.

And different, and my grandma is a really strange person but she always talks about how candy is for children, how only children need candy, weirded out by how my mom ans dad still like candy and I'm like :dry:
But she's generally...like I'm her favorite granddaughter so she didn't really have a problem with me but she'd always just casually wonder about what kind of girl doesn't like doing chores, would literally ask "What kind of girl are you?" :laughing:


Which does make me feel 7ish in a way, since I definitely have a peter pan syndrome.
Can't stand looking at myself like that :unsure:
That's another thing about being an adult, I feel like I'm becoming so...never felt like this as a child or teenager, never felt like many things that are now an issue would ever be an issue. I look at myself so differently and everyone sees me so differently, like a different person, even though I'm exactly the same like I always was, that's the worst thing.
Used to be so mature for a child, could converse with adults like an adult, at least about emotional things and such, I was very nice, didn't seem influenced by other childrens bad behavior, people thought my childishness was endearing but also mature in a way because I didn't care about being cool and grown up.

But I also don't feel...idk, hard to explain, don't feel that deeply Peter Pan-ish, or irreparably so, I mean I am irreparably the way I am but I just feel just a bit..not sure, hope you get what I mean :unsure:


Although another thing is how as a child, I think I came across as sort of precocious, or smart/wise for my age in some ways. But the older I get, the more I just feel like... a retard, basically. So a part of it is related to self-esteem and such.
Same.
 
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