Personality Cafe banner

1 - 1 of 1 Posts

1 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
"Your type is likely - UNCLEAR" – Can You figure me out better than online tests? :D

Hi everybody!

Knowing me this form/post is not going to be an easy and definitely not a quick read, but please bear with me! ^^"

I'm a 24 yo female from Finland in desperate need of some outside perspective. I've always had difficulty identifying myself. Though I generally have pretty good self-reflection abilities (when given time I can analyze and explain myself reasonably well in everyday-ish situations like why I reacted to something specific the way I did) I still struggle with figuring out the deeper questions of who I am, why I am like this and where I belong. It doesn't help that I see endless sides and possibilities to everything. I am infuriatingly indecisive and I usually end up second-guessing myself to exhaustion.

While I understand that ultimately we're all unique and no test can nor should fully explain us or especially define us, for some reason it still is important to me to figure this four letter puzzle out. I've taken several different quizzes and studied the profiles, cognitive functions and Dom-Ter loops of INFJs, INFPs, ISFJs + even some extroverted counterparts but that has only gotten my brain in a worse jumble than it already was. Maybe You, the intelligent and insightful community of PersonalityCafe, can help me?

1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?

The most common result for me in regards of MBTI is INFJ but I've never felt like I fully fit the description. I've never felt terribly different or misunderstood, I don't consider myself to be all that intuitive (especially in a "psychic" kind of way) and I tend to be more selfish/self-centered than altruistic. It doesn't help that my boyfriend is practically the definition of all of those qualities (INFP according to so it makes me feel even more insecure about myself.

2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?

Ultimately I yearn for happiness. I think everybody defines what happiness means for them personally, but I do believe it is the purpose of life. For me happiness is a stable life with a loving family. Creativity and an overall sense of meaningfulness in my life are also important to me but a happy and healthy home is the core of my hopes and dreams.

3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.

I suppose the first half of 2016? I wasn't perfectly happy with my choice to study business administration (marketing to be exact) and definitely not with the quality of teaching but nevertheless, I was doing well at school, finishing assignments and getting good grades. I had a clear vision for my thesis. I had my first official job ever, working as the graphic designer of an international event. I had been actively participating in my communities – tutoring at my school, being a board member and a member of the marketing committee of my choir, the Facebook group I had founded for Finnish planner people a mere year ago was flourishing.... I don't think I even ghosted on my friends back then. I was on top of everything! I felt like my life finally had a proper direction after so many years of feeling lost and just floating. And I finally developed some well needed self-confidence in my work. Though that period lead to a burnout and now I’m feeling stuck again, I’m extremely grateful that at least that spark of self-confidence still carries to this day.

4) What makes you feel inferior?

When I’m not as productive, intelligent or compassionate as I feel that I should be. A good example is when I’m having a bad day, feeling overwhelmed and down and can’t muster up the willpower to do anything useful, and my boyfriend – an angel on Earth ¬¬¬– cleans the whole house, cooks us dinner and on top of it all doesn’t even feel resentment but instead just tries his best to console me and make me feel better. I also HATE when I feel myself dumb, but unfortunately it is pretty common. When I can’t form a sentence that makes sense or when I don’t have/can’t remember a credible argument for something I say in a conversation and somebody questions me etc etc… Infuriatingly common. :’’D

5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)

I aim to find a solution that is the best from every possible angle, ESPECIALLY if the decision is about something important. I’ll definitely be thinking about pros and cons, but I can’t focus on just logic or feelings if it’s about something personal – be it personal to me or personal to someone else. If the decision is about something simple like where to eat or what to wear, I’ll mostly “listen” to what it feels like. However, often things like money or time are a big part of the equation (like in the case of where to eat or what to buy) and then I also have to be rational. And if there are other people involved it gets even more complicated ‘cause everybody’s pros and cons are different. Then I either try to find a solution that would please the most people or I just leave the decision making to somebody who cares more. In the latter case I might end up feeling unhappy about the decision, but it would have to be something seriously bad for me to actually open my mouth. :D Usually I just sulk for a while until I come to terms with “this is what I got” and then I’ll just go with the flow and hope the end result will be enjoyable.

6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome?

I do like to have control of the outcome, yes. I usually dislike being in charge but I do need the possibility/“right” to express my opinions and influence the process and outcome. If the project is important to me I’m pretty conscientious and I tend to be quite the perfectionist so I must to be able to stand behind and be proud of the results of the project. I’d much rather take more time and get things right than succumb to cutting corners and half-assing.

What comes to my role in projects, I’m inherently more drawn to so to speak “behind the scenes” jobs. I’ve always been confident about my skills of creating visually pleasing things and language skills (grammar, not creativity) so usually I stick to the jobs where I can utilize those abilities. I’m also good at making sure everyone’s voices are heard and I like organizing so I might take notes and do some planning. However, I’ve noticed that as I’m getting older I’m starting to be more open to the idea of being the one in charge. Lately there have been a couple of opportunities for me to take responsibility in the more administrative side of projects and for the first time in my life I’m actually considering it! I know I like planning and creating to do lists and schedules etc. and I am pretty good at it too, but I also know myself and that I absolutely SUCK at following my own schedules. :’’D I hiiighly prefer the planning process over actually executing it. In my mind that translates to the possibility that as long as I just could remember to keep in touch with everybody about their progress and remind them about deadlines, I might actually be an ok leader. Maybe? In the end I suppose it all comes down to my confidence level about my abilities.

7) Describe us a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?

This is an interesting question since I seem to associate the word “fun” with events where I’m surrounded with lots of people and laughter (like parties or trips with my choir). Those events are pretty rare though and special for exactly that reason. For me situations where I’m with only one or a couple of people (and able to feel a deeper connection) are more natural though, and the word(s) for that would be something like happiness or thoroughly enjoying myself. Luckily I came up with a situation that combines both pretty nicely!

My friend was organizing a party for their student society. They asked if I could come there to do glitter makeups for the guests. I got to spend most of the evening doing what I do best and love love love – being immersed in the world of creativity and sparkle and intensive one on one connection with people! (There is something absolutely magical about doing other people’s hair/makeup/nails. You get permission to touch people without it being weird and that physical contact tends to automatically translate to a more intimate and open connection. People just somehow open up in a unique way when they are in that situation of “I’m placing my trust in your hands and being vulnerable”. But I digress!) There was also good food, a stand-up comedian and of course dancing. My memories of the party – like my memories in general tend to be – are mostly fuzzy flashes of situations, like little foggy video clips and lots of feelings. For example a clip of laughing at the comedian, another one of dancing with my newly made friends, a feeling of desperately trying to figure out whether an unusually quiet girl liked her makeup or not (It wasn’t until the very end when I was showing her the final results that she finally let me out of my misery and told me she loved them. :D) I can remember some details like colors and faces semi vividly, but everything is pretty still quite jumbled together. Over time the memories get foggier and foggier. In the end the feeling (or in the worst case just the feeling of “I know this happened”) is the only thing that remains. That’s where photos, journaling and friends with better memories come to the rescue! :’’D

8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you? (Are you more prone to be hands on, to theorize, to memorize, etc)

In this case my memory is very clearly divided into two parts. My working memory is a BEAST! :D I can quickly memorize huge amounts of information for a short period of time (I once taught myself all of the countries of the world for a geography test) but once I’ve dumped them out of my brain I forget it all. If I want to press something into my long-term memory I have to be able to connect the information to something real and relevant from my life and concretely use it either by incorporating it into my identity and/or deep thoughts/analyzes (Like with all of these MBTI functions. I apply them to myself and the people in my life and that way they also have a whole other level of meaning and importance which is vital for my motivation.) or if it’s a physical skill, like a dance move or a function in InDesign, I actually have to physically go through the motions. That part doesn’t come naturally though. ^^” I far prefer the safety of theory so again; real-life based motivation is key.

9) How organized do you to think of yourself as?

Both extremely and extremely not. :’’D I absolutely love to do lists, planners, Pinterest-boards… I crave for organization both in my mind and in my surroundings. However, I also know myself well enough to know that I’m far better at organizing than actually being organized. It doesn’t take practically anything at all for me to slip into procrastinating and being messy. I’m trying to improve that side of myself so my mind and surroundings would both be as clear and clutter free as I want and actually also need them to be. Incorporating minimalism in my life has already made a big difference! When my physical environment is clearer it’s infinitely easier to remain more organized and start to tackle also the clutter inside my head.

10) How do you judge new ideas? Do you try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?

I usually try to find as much overall information as I can about the thing in order to understand it. The intensity and length of that research phase depends on how much I care about the subject. If something truly sparks my interest I turn into a research maniac. I dive into Google, YouTube, Pinterest… I tend to have so many browser tabs open at once it’s a miracle neither my computer, phone nor brains haven’t crashed yet! :D Sometimes I even push past my comfort zone and ask my friends what they know and/or what they think about it.

I want to find both what supports the idea and also what could possibly debunk it. I strive to be as open minded as I can but unfortunately it still is a bit harder for me to remain objective to negative results when I’m really invested in the idea. Another tricky situation for me is when something doesn’t interest me enough. Then I’m reeeeally tempted to cut corners. ^^” The worst-case scenario is that I only check the first page of Google’s results – either for arguments only in favor or also against, depending on my level of skepticism. But in my defense, I ALWAYS check more than one source!

11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?

God, why do I need to choose either or? I just want to live in a world where both are possible at the same time! Geez… Okay, regrouping… It is extremely important for me to be true to myself. That is one of my core values. But in a group situation (especially if the people are more than strangers for me) I can and will put others’ needs in front of or in the very least to the same level as my own. It’s quite similar to the situation about decision making. I have to feel VERY strongly for or against something to rise against harmony. Thankfully my values and wants are mostly pretty normal and rarely clash with “the common good”.

12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?

A bit of both? I suppose I think while I’m speaking and that’s why I sometimes don’t make sense at all. But I’m not sure whether this is natural for me or if it’s because I feel pressured to speak faster than I would if I felt comfortable taking all the time I need.

If I’m talking about something easy that doesn’t require a lot of thinking (like a story of an event) I just blurt out thoughts as they come and I get suuuper rambly. But if I’m talking about something deep and/or important I often have to take long pauses to think, recall, or just regroup.

13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?

Nooooooo jumping! Ever! God, what anxiety! I would love to be a bit more courageous and active in a spontaneous way, but every fiber in my body is programmed against it. However, I do believe that actions speak louder than words. Both are needed for best results, but while actions without words can still be felt, words without action are just layers of paint on a rotten house. Or worse, a sales ad for an entirely imaginary one.

14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?

Hahahahaha! I’m sorry, honey, you’re about a week late. It’s EXTREMELY rare for me to do anything spontaneous – a day’s heads-up is the bare minimum. Exceptions only make a rule.

15) How do you act when you're stressed out?

I turn into an ostrich. I quite literally hide and try to just ignore the stressful things into non-existence. Surprise surprise, it’s not very effective.

Before it gets to that level of panic, I try to use to do lists to avoid or ease the crushing feelings of being way too overwhelmed to function.

16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?

When people are rude, inconsiderate, thoughtless, too harsh, too hot-headed/volatile, negative or also if they are too wishy washy and don’t care about anything. I suppose the core problem has to do with their thoughts and actions clashing against my belief of how people should treat each other and how I demand some sense of responsibility from people in order to respect them.

17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people?

Yes – deep stuff! …and also fluffy and sparkly stuff…! :’’D But mostly deep stuff like hopes and dreams and psychology and mystical things and and and… Oooooh… <3

18) What kind of things do you pay the least attention to in your life?

Hmmm… This can be interpreted is sooo many ways. :D Well, to cover some of them:
- things that don’t interest me (politics, sports, how cars work…)
- the present moment (unfortunately)
- dust bunnies
- the terms and conditions and prompts to update apps/computer ;P

19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? What would your friends never say about your personality?

I suppose they perceive me as happy and optimistic, kind, loyal and trustworthy (even though I have a tendency to ghost every once in a while), easy to talk to and get emotional support from. They also know I overthink waaaay too much. :D I don’t think there’s anything wrong about their perception but I think it might be a bit lacking. I also have a deeper side to me that’s sometimes not very nice. I can be a bit pessimistic and melancholy, but thankfully that side doesn’t come out as often anymore. :) I think I might also come across quite a bit more prudish than I actually am. I’m just picky about what and to whom I’m comfortable revealing about my sexual side.

I want to believe that my friends would never say that I’m a bad person. That I don’t care. That I’m cold, that I’m rude. Or that I’m too superficial. :D

20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing?

I would love to spend the day with my boyfriend and/or my best friend. I would love a movie marathon with snacks galore! And of course talking about the deep stuff! I’d also like to incorporate the outside world a little bit. The optimal way would be from the safety of my own backyard (if I had one). Sunshine, a nice breeze and soft grass… <3 I’d maybe like to cook some good food together. Oooh and a nice long trip to the sauna! OOOOOH! A nice summer day at my (atm imaginary) summer cottage! Then there would also be a beautiful lake view, which is oooh so calming. <3 Yes. That’s perfect. Add a kitten to play with and I’d NEVER want to leave that day!

Hopefully Your collective human smarts are smarter than me + a computer alone and I'll finally get my answer! :D
Oh! And here's the test result I hinted at in my title. (Can't post a link yet :( Thankfully could copy paste!)

Te (Extroverted Thinking) (55%)
your valuation of / adherence to logic of external systems / hierarchies / methods

Ti (Introverted Thinking) (65%)
your valuation of / adherence to your own internally devised logic/rational

Ne (Extroverted Intuition) (40%)
your valuation of / tendency towards free association and creating with external stimuli

Ni (Introverted Intuition) (65%)
your valuation of / tendency towards internal/original free association and creativity

Se (Extroverted Sensing) (30%)
your valuation of / tendency to fully experience the world unfiltered, in the moment

Si (Introverted Sensing) (65%)
your valuation of / focus on internal sensations and reliving past moments

Fe (Extroverted Feeling) (85%)
your valuation of / adherence to external morals, ethics, traditions, customs, groups

Fi (Introverted Feeling) (65%)
your valuation of / adherence to the sanctity of your own feelings / ideals / sentiment

based on your results your type is likely - unclear

Huge thanks to anybody who participates! Any help is greatly appreciated! <3

PS. If somebody can tell me what the code is for the "show more"-function, I'd be extra extra happy! :D
1 - 1 of 1 Posts