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First impressions sometimes play a big role in deciding whether or not we like a person, and the strangers in front of us just don't always seem up to standard. Or sometimes we decide to give a person a chance but they botch it. Or maybe they're just not people we feel we can relate to or talk with or trust.

But, what's this? Even INFJs can be wrong?! (shocker :rolleyes:)

In the end many people are prone to prejudices and generalizations, even if only subconsciously, and surprises are an inevitable part of life. Tell us some stories about friends, especially those who are very important or close to you, who initially set off a couple of "red flags" or you would have never thought to deeply associate with but came to trust and appreciate anyway. Even if you're not an INFJ, feel free to post.

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In my case, the story that stands out for me is that of someone whom I think of like an older brother. When I first met him at a tennis camp, he was obnoxious and made all kinds of mean jokes (without real malevolent intent, but he didn't know when to stop) as well as refusing to take responsibility for a shock absorber I lent him that he dropped on the ground on another tennis court. He purportedly punched my friend's middle-school-age sister and then asserted that he "didn't even hit her that hard" even though she was crying. All in all, he seemed like kind of an asshole, and he only hung around with my other friends and I for two days before spending the rest of the week generally sitting alone during break. There were a few times I did have some normal conversation with him, though, and I still took a bit of a liking to him. I didn't bother to get his contact information after leaving camp, however.

By a stroke of luck (at least that's how I think of it now) I managed to obtain his email anyway and we chatted a bit online. The first few conversations consisted entirely of funny insults, but I was half angry and half amused the whole time. Eventually he turned out to be a good person, even if he was somewhat immature. Over time he's become a friend whom I hold very dear to my heart (and I don't use cheesy phrases to describe just anyone), and he's the one person who can calm me in my fits of rage or bring me back to reality when I've lost my perspective. He's also the only person who has always given me fantastic advice and the only person I have ever truly looked up to despite his numerous flaws. I can't even describe how indebted I am to him. Yet the fact that I ever decided to trust him with my problems in the first place seems weird when I look back on it.

And yeah, I've probably told this story 813941 times on PerC. :p
 

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When I was 24 I moved to a new town and began attending a new church. There was an older woman there, in her 40's, who was what I called "rough around the edges." She was loud, brash, and not well educated; she came from a background of biker bars, multiple marriages and divorces, and several children (all grown) from different men. I was a sheltered, naive college girl and had never interacted with biker types. In fact, I was rather afraid of her!

We were placed in the same small group and started spending time together. I soon discovered that she was the most caring, generous, loving person I had ever met. Sure, she was loud and brash (an extrovert) but she was also fearless in defending people she loved, and tireless and enthusiastic in encouraging me to be the best person I could be. She was generous to a fault, often spending her own few resources to help others. Her joyous, uninhibited spirit helped me open up and come out of my own shell.

Two years after we became friends, she was diagnosed with cervical cancer. A year after that she died. I still keep her picture on my mantle along with a little note she had written me, thanking me for being her friend. She's been gone for 20 years now and I still miss her.
 

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Well my best friend is pretty crazy. She is very social so when we go out I'm really nervous around her because she'd go up to anyone and just chat. We met back in middle school. I knew her, but we weren't really friends. She had a friend who was kinda bossy and didn't really treat her right. We started to talk in high school and found out we had a lot in common. Although she is very social and likes to talk in big groups. We still get along and have our time together because she is really considerate and makes time to hang out with me when we are in those big groups because I normally only talk with her. There are a lot of things we don't agree on, but we have never had a fight. She is very spontaneous and I like to have everything planned. She also doesn't really think things through when it comes to life, she kinda lives in a fantasy world. I have my life pretty much planned out to what I like. Anyway we make each other laugh and share our thoughts together. The best part is that we are both pretty open-minded with each other. And although it took me a long time to open up and trust her. I do now and she is also pretty good at giving advise if I need it sometimes. Also she is an ENFP which a lot of INFJ's seem to get along with and like. :proud:
 
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There was this one time in high school I had a huge crush on this ESTP guy. He was all wigga or gangsta or whatever and he smoked and drank and was loud and obnoxious and cut class all the time. People either loved him or hated him. A lot of people loved him, though, because he was so charming underneath all the rudeness. I liked how he spoke his mind.

I was the super-quiet, super-nerdy, teacher's pet poet who most people didn't understand. I had a few friends.

Somehow he found out that I liked him and he flirted with me and I sure wrote a lot of poetry during that time! Very productive. And then he invited me to work out with him at the gym....

...Work out...

...gym...

~_~:

And that was the closest I got to having an unlikely friendship. Sadly, he transferred out of my high school, but I still remember him fondly!
 

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The friends I have had some of the same interest as I, and usually more complimentary interest. Squirrel hunting, fishin' at the grinnel hole ( A grinnel is a primitive fish that is ok to eat well seasoned if you have a bad cold and can't taste a thing) - that was a teenage frind. My adult friends have been professionally connected, in church - middle aged married men do not "hang out" and I have no interest in golf. Really, a loner.
 

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There was this one guy, he was obnoxious, uncouth, abrasive, not a very good student, had a tendency to say and do stupid things, and nowhere remotely similar to me in terms of morality and religious beliefs, but he was fun. I met him in middle school, it was almost as though he just sort of showed up at my lunch table one day, and never left. By the time we made it to high school, he was one of my best friends. Despite his many faults, he was loyal. I knew that, no matter what, I could always count on him to listen to me whine, cry, complain, and rant, and he was always ready to sympathize and join in with me. During college, a complicated series of events caused us to drift apart. It's a real shame, I kind of miss him.
 

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I wish I had any unlikely friendships. I always give people a chance no matter what my gut instinct tells me, as I seem to have a "people deserve second chances" and "everyone deserves to be cared for" addiction. And I try my best to be a good friend, but things seem to always end with me wishing I trusted my gut instinct a little more.
 

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There's this girl at my college... She's really everything I'm not. She's loud, I'm quiet, she's normal, I'm weird, she's tall, I'm short, she's confident, I'm shy, she's naturally smart but not very applied, I'm so dense that I have to work myself to death to keep at the top of the class, she's into trends, I wear what's comfy, she's popular, people forget I'm there... I honestly just thought she was one of the Girl Next Door annoying types and that I should stay the heck away from her.

Then we were all assigned lab partners. Guess who I get? Giggly-blonde McGirlyGirl.


Three chemistry classes later we are now lab partners by choice. We have this strange mutual respect going on. She doesn't drag me into her gossip fests (which I no longer roll my eyes at), and I don't drag her into my gaming rants. We hang out constantly and if one of us isn't doing something to make the other laugh then we're probably plotting something hilarious. Any time one of us walks in the student lounge screaming "I'M DONE! I'm dropping my classes and going to McDonald's NOW!" the other laughs for a minute, then talks the other down. I've stopped her from dropping this Organic class three times now.

I'm not sure if this is a friendship or a hilarious camaraderie, or a little of both. We get along better than I ever thought possible, and we are united in a common goal: Making sure we get the heck out of our science classes alive!

Come the 19th our OChem class is going to have a very fun day~ Argg maties, our professor be a drunk and it be talk like a pirate day. We're gonna see if we can get that land lubber an eye patch and a blot of grog! I bet the scurvy dog'll wear that patch, too!... Scurvy me timbers and all that...
 

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At my first day at work, I was kind of lost and overwhelmed. By lunch hour I looked for this empty spot to spend a few minutes alone (heaven knows I needed that lol) and this girl approached to me and talked and asked a thousand questions and talked...and talked....and talked lol there was a point everything I could think of was "where is the on/off button?":tongue:


Later that day, I accidentaly dropped some water next to her and her shoes got wet. She complained about it all day no matter how many times I apologized to her.


The next day while having lunch at my empty spot, again, she approached to me....again lol We became inseparable. She is one of the most caring, loving, generous and sweet person I ever met.


She lives with her fiancee now in a different city far away from me and I miss her every single day.:unsure:
 

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I've told this on PerC numerous times before as well but oh well lol:

As dumb as it sounds it would have to be my INFJ husband. We initially got along well. Had a nice chat going. But I was self-righteous at the time. Said something I shouldn't have and he (rightfully) chewed me out for it lol. Anyway, I remember having this skewed perception of who he was. But he could see just what I was. I remember one time he got fed up with one of the conversations we were having and said I was the rudest person he'd ever met lol. I just laughed (though he couldn't see - this was all online) because it was refreshingly true and really took me off guard (he can be blunt like that). After that he said I'm also very caring.

I thought he was this cold-hearted yet intelligent person (I did respect him to some degree) but I couldn't have been more wrong. I didn't understand him at the time. We would get into stupid arguments due to my stubbornness and pride at the time. He would get fed up with me and I would get fed up with him. Would be fuming after our conversations. He really knew how to get under my skin. The first night I met him I wrote a poem about him though. The poem had to do with me misunderstanding him and feeling regret over it (I never shared any of that with him at the time though). I guess every time I thought about the things he said I realized he was right and I was wrong and I wasn't being fair. I was hostile.

Months later I really got to know his heart and realized everything he said and did was out of this love he has for all people (even when it was hard to say) and it really opened my eyes. I could "see" him for the first time and what I saw was beautiful. I was really drawn to him. And he was drawn to me though I didn't know it at the time. I thought he just saw me as an annoying little sister or something. Apparently he liked me that whole time which is why he stopped talking to me temporarily (because he started getting serious with someone else). I helped him pick out a picture to go with this letter he wrote her. They were close to getting married and everything. Well needless to say, that relationship didn't work out.

When he told me he was interested in me for the first time (it accidentally came out but he subtlety hinted at it the whole time) I didn't know what to say. It took me off guard. So I sort of initially "rejected" him. Long story but you all know the outcome because I'm married to him now.
 

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awww those stories, esp Vivid Melody's, are so touching and heartwarming, yet I have to admit I can't fully ban the shadow of envy from my heart :proud: I am happy for all the happy people, but at the same time I just cannot stop feeling left out and always remaining the quiet observer of others' laughs and happiness. Am I wicked?
 

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awww those stories, esp Vivid Melody's, are so touching and heartwarming, yet I have to admit I can't fully ban the shadow of envy from my heart :proud: I am happy for all the happy people, but at the same time I just cannot stop feeling left out and always remaining the quiet observer of others' laughs and happiness. Am I wicked?
No, you're not :) I've felt that way many times before
 

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Me and my brother from another mother INTJ friend.

I don't even know how our friendship took off at all,
What happened was when I moved to Jordan there was this Arab guy who happened to be INTJ(I found out 3 years later),
At first we didn't hit it off,
He called me *** and did stupid thinks relating to the Lion King(As I am African),
And made it his mission to annoy the shit out of me.

I on the other hand made it my mission to break him down,
And we had this passive aggressive war that would continuously culminate in a shouting match no matter the period.
We were both stubborn as bulls.

Then....

We both joined a mixed martial arts group,
(I was with my INTP best friend and he alone) He would bring food from a cooking class,
And one day he shared with us and we began to talk.
One week later and we were realizing how much we had in common,
And 3 months later we were going over to one another house thrice weekly(restricted only by his VERY zealous mother).

By a year into our friendship we knew everything about one another,
We still annoyed the living daylights out of one another due to our stubbornness,
But I have to find one with such ability in political debates,
And such intense loyalty,
And such honesty.

A true family friend and true brother to me,
I can say I love him in my heart of hearts with all that is good and bad!
And thats my one little story ;)
 

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Unlikely friendships? You mean my main group of friends, right?

S: Just finished up a Masters degree in English. Hopes to become a lecturer. Every third word from his mouth is a swear word. :laughing: Is the only one in the group who can drink like I can. We are the last men drinking at every party/session.

K: The most annoying person in the group. Constantly late to everything. Thinks you're a prick if you don't like any movie that he likes. Feels entitled to everything.

B: No matter what he says, it's funny. He just has this amazing tone of voice that has you in pieces laughing. Recently got employed as a journalist. One of his amazing quotes is "imagine you took a shit in a condom!". Yes, this chap is a fucking journalist now. :laughing:

O: Judo champion, chess champion, all out muscly freak. Learned how to program in a day and built two or three phone apps the very next day. Used to make all kinds of flavoured vodka for parties. Had a portable bar in the form of a gym bag that he brought to parties so he could make himself any type of cocktail he desired.

V: Socially awkward guy. Works in IT. Really likes penguins. Eats his own weight in chocolate. Physically can't gain weight (he's being tested for it). Enjoys expanding his mind via chemical enhancement.

And then me. The INFJ.
 
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