Your version of love
[INFP]
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113 Posts
When it comes to romantic love then yes, I do. This is probably why I'm alone...
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81 Posts
I don't know how most people experience it, but it's always better in my head than it turns out to be. :sad:
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65 Posts
It might be similar, probably just more idealized, and I'm less likely to compromise unless someone really comes after me. So I guess yeah, it is a bit different.
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2,999 Posts
It's instant, complete, layered, and completely devoted. I can be someone's best friend, lover, and soulmate, when I love them. I very easily become anything and everything the people in my life want or need.
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576 Posts
Man I think I have changed my perception on what love is so much that I have no clue anymore. Trying to even explain it through writing is even hard to do now. In this department I think I am just to fucked up to love.
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455 Posts
After 20 minutes of thinking all I can say is: Absolutely.
(most people)
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962 Posts
I've always dreamt of having a partner who is on the same brain wave pattern as me.
The kind of day dream I have is of being in a crowded bar or pub, both getting pleasantly drunk and having a good time with tons of people and noise around us, and sitting a few feet apart. Periodically we give each other straight on knowing looks with a half grin, in those moments all sound disappears and we're just locked in, knowing exactly to a T what each other is thinking and feeling without ever needing to communicate. And it's that level of common intuition and mutual wavelength pauses, that give us the recharge we need in an extrovert's environment. I see that extending to all areas of our life and for me that's the odd telepathic love I crave that's yet to happen unfortunately. Close a couple of times but no cigar.
The kind of day dream I have is of being in a crowded bar or pub, both getting pleasantly drunk and having a good time with tons of people and noise around us, and sitting a few feet apart. Periodically we give each other straight on knowing looks with a half grin, in those moments all sound disappears and we're just locked in, knowing exactly to a T what each other is thinking and feeling without ever needing to communicate. And it's that level of common intuition and mutual wavelength pauses, that give us the recharge we need in an extrovert's environment. I see that extending to all areas of our life and for me that's the odd telepathic love I crave that's yet to happen unfortunately. Close a couple of times but no cigar.
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2,999 Posts
A quote in a film I really loved the other day called Impromptu about Chopin and his lover, a female novelist who lived as a man named George Sands, had a quote on love that I thought would sound very appealing to an INFP "romantic":
Do not think that I am full of virtues and noble qualities, [...] I love, that is all; but I love strongly, exclusively, steadfastly.
Do not think that I am full of virtues and noble qualities, [...] I love, that is all; but I love strongly, exclusively, steadfastly.
Love is undefinable. It just IS. It'll be different for everyone, but the common thing is that when it's done right, it can be the most wonderful thing ever. It can also hurt more than anything on this earth, but that hurt is so worth it when you look back. It helps you grow and learn.
"Love is the truth that knows no fear. Love is alive, it's burning inside you, just let it find you..."
"Look inside yourself and you'll find love, love, love..."
(Song quotes!)
"Love is the truth that knows no fear. Love is alive, it's burning inside you, just let it find you..."
"Look inside yourself and you'll find love, love, love..."
(Song quotes!)
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4,835 Posts
thats essentially what i was gonig to say.
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63 Posts
I think that their are a lot of different kinds of love, and that love by its very nature is many different things to many different people. No 2 people have the same way of thinking and perceiving the world or anything in it, and that includes love. But each persons interpretation is still equally real.
Romantically, there are some things that will never be ok in a relationship, and im not saying that you should give up on looking for what you want and settle. But honestly, just accept people for the small quirks things that they do differently that irk you, and focus on the things that make you want to love them. I think that perfection can include flaws, because those flaws do not necessarily have to be made into problems.
and as far as friendships/family relationships go, i think that i am more tolerant and empathetic than most people.. I dont trust easily, and have few relationships that i take very seriously, and few people that i love very deeply. I give easily and freely to those i care for, which some see as negative, but I find that people give more easily to me because of it. I like it that way.
oh and I am extremely and abnormally loyal.
Romantically, there are some things that will never be ok in a relationship, and im not saying that you should give up on looking for what you want and settle. But honestly, just accept people for the small quirks things that they do differently that irk you, and focus on the things that make you want to love them. I think that perfection can include flaws, because those flaws do not necessarily have to be made into problems.
and as far as friendships/family relationships go, i think that i am more tolerant and empathetic than most people.. I dont trust easily, and have few relationships that i take very seriously, and few people that i love very deeply. I give easily and freely to those i care for, which some see as negative, but I find that people give more easily to me because of it. I like it that way.
oh and I am extremely and abnormally loyal.
Love to me is a dream, an ideal fantasy, that does not exist in reality. It might not be real, but i yearn for that other half who shares the same world as me and together we can live in limbo like in Inception. And who cares what's real...Who says reality is more important that the dream world.
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3,624 Posts
I don't see limerence as love. That passionate obsession I don't think is love at all.
In the "romantic sense";
I see love as truly seeing a person for -all- their traits, away from idealism i.e. have a fixed image of them that doesn't change based on idealism and devaluation. I see it as something that is created over time. I see it as commitment and much akin to sincere friendship. I see it as two 'wholes' coming together, rather than two "half's" looking for someone to make them into a hole. I see it as a choice, not a need. I see it as work and negotiation. I see it as imperfect but steadfast. I see it as coming from the self and sharing it with others, rather than something that just comes from someone else. I see love as a relationship, not as a perfect person. I see it as fulfillment and appreciation not euphoric happiness.
I see it as simply choosing to walk down the path with other people instead of walking it alone.
I don't idealise it because what is true about loving an idealised version of someone? I find that unfair to the other person. I don't want to ever tell that person I love 'them' when really, I just love my own ego I've project onto them. But I value it for what it is.
In the "romantic sense";
I see love as truly seeing a person for -all- their traits, away from idealism i.e. have a fixed image of them that doesn't change based on idealism and devaluation. I see it as something that is created over time. I see it as commitment and much akin to sincere friendship. I see it as two 'wholes' coming together, rather than two "half's" looking for someone to make them into a hole. I see it as a choice, not a need. I see it as work and negotiation. I see it as imperfect but steadfast. I see it as coming from the self and sharing it with others, rather than something that just comes from someone else. I see love as a relationship, not as a perfect person. I see it as fulfillment and appreciation not euphoric happiness.
I see it as simply choosing to walk down the path with other people instead of walking it alone.
I don't idealise it because what is true about loving an idealised version of someone? I find that unfair to the other person. I don't want to ever tell that person I love 'them' when really, I just love my own ego I've project onto them. But I value it for what it is.
Love to me is an all or nothing proposition. If its not all, than it might as well be nothing.
But actual love has to be all out. All my life I have believed in The One. Which many say is a foolish notion.
I stayed essentially lonely and unloved until some two years ago when I met her. And its especially that first time you see each other for real that you can really appreciate the incredible intensity and depth that such total love can have. I experienced it as a feeling so strong that its almost too powerful to be endured by mortal flesh.
But actual love has to be all out. All my life I have believed in The One. Which many say is a foolish notion.
I stayed essentially lonely and unloved until some two years ago when I met her. And its especially that first time you see each other for real that you can really appreciate the incredible intensity and depth that such total love can have. I experienced it as a feeling so strong that its almost too powerful to be endured by mortal flesh.
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