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Discussion Starter #1
Hey :),

I've been wondering a lot about ISFPs lately. I hope you don't mind my innocent curiosity!

What are your views on cheating? Would you do it? If so, what would the situation have to be? How would you feel if it were done to you?

Also, your views on flirting and sexual experimentation?
 

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If you're going to cheat you must be at least somewhat unhappy with your current relationship... you might as well break it off, it'd really suck to find out someone's been cheating on you for a while without you knowing. I guess it wouldn't hurt to keep the new relationship underground for a while too, because the person you just left is going to feel even worse if you're with someone else literally the next day.

Flirting's fine as long as you don't do it compulsively with every attractive person you meet, and you stop it when you're in a relationship.
 

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I don`t know how to flirt. Full stop!

...and I`m happy to tell you that I`m not a cheater. I could`nt live with myself if I ever did.
How would that be for a tag for ones self? Knowing you`re a fucking cheater! No thanks...

There have been times that whenever I`ve had a girlfriend (tentatively insert the word *relationship* here) and been somewhat unhappy with where it was going... all the time wherever I went with or without her, I was constantly and obviously being hit on by women left, right and centre time and time again.
But No, I`ve never cheated...
Ironically enough, whenever I am `available` none of this ever happens. Must be the `smell of sex` or something eh?

I`ve been cheated on before and that was the end of that!

How does a couple patch things up after a cheating incident?
"Oh, I`m really sorry (*I got caught*),,, honey... I promise I won`t do that again. I promise I won`t cheat on you anymore"
"OK darling, I believe you"...
*KISS*

There must be some really, really desperate mutual needs going on for a couple to patch things up after that type of `incident` or maybe they just don`t care. For some it`s just a way of life I guess...

As for "sexual experimentation"? Whatever your both comfortable with...
Whatever floats your boat...
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Sometimes people cheat not because they're fed up with their current relationship but because they share different types of attractions for different people. What do you think about that?
 

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Well, I was cheated on whilst paying off an engagement ring. It nearly finished me. It happened around five years ago, and I'm still finding dents in my psyche.

So @AbioticPrime, different attractions for different people doesn't fly for me. As far as I am concerned, a relationship is exclusive. Full stop.

As far as flirting goes, I just plain cannot flirt. Don't know how.
 

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Sometimes people cheat not because they're fed up with their current relationship but because they share different types of attractions for different people. What do you think about that?
Why go into a serious relationship then? Relationships like this(or so I'm assuming) should be exclusive imo(some people may disagree here but really...), if you are looking elsewhere it would be better to end the current relationship before doing anything to minimise fallout from cheating on someone.
 

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Wouldn't ever do it. If you're unhappy with a relationship, either work out your differences, or break it off. Flirting is alright when you're not serious, but only if your partner and the person you're flirting with know that it's not serious, and that it's not going to go anywhere. If I ever did 'cheat' though, it would only be because my partner refuses to officially separate from me and is the only one of the two of us to still think we're in a relationship.

If it were done to me? Break it off, no explanation needed or wanted. "I was drunk" is not a viable excuse! If I had kids at the time he cheated, same deal. No way my kids will grow up with a parent like that.
 
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If I ever did 'cheat' though, it would only be because my partner refuses to officially separate from me and is the only one of the two of us to still think we're in a relationship.
I've had this before, I agree that sometimes you find yourself left with no choice if they're clinging on to a relationship that's clearly long since ended. Although for me, I just snapped and had a Te rage, and never spoke to them ever again. Oops. ISFPs hate having their freedom taken away, though, so to find yourself with a needy, clingy partner is like hell on earth.
 

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ISFPs hate having their freedom taken away, though, so to find yourself with a needy, clingy partner is like hell on earth.
I can totally relate to this ;A; Sometimes one has to to what one has to do to obtain happiness. You have to make a sacrifices in life for the sake of others sometimes, but that doesn't mean you can't be selfish either, especially when others are pretty much blocking their ears to you.
 
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I've cheated once before. The story is rather long, and I'm not that keen on telling it right now, but I did write about it a few months ago in a similar topic.

Generally, I'm a very loyal person. However, when it comes to relationships, unless I feel a strong bond and that "we're truly together" sensation, I have the tendency to leave a foot in the door. That's mainly because of personal reasons and trust issues, though. It still never extends to cheating. For me, cheating is an occurrence that is born through a problematic, unbalanced, unhealthy relationship and more of a symptom than the illness itself.

I've been cheated on, too - by the very person I cheated on myself, actually. I forgave her back then, mostly because I didn't really feel the "bond" yet. We were in a long distance relationship and had been together for only a few weeks - she was drunk, and it didn't even feel like a real relationship yet. It did take away some of my trust for her, though, and I never really even expected her to stay true to me afterwards. Soon after that incident she completely wrecked the rest of my trust for her, though, and it never came back, not even when we got together for the second time. That sums up the borders and guidelines of my trust and loyalty: if we're friends, I pretty much automatically trust you and believe in you, but if you fail my trust, it will never grow back again. Ever.

Cheating obviously isn't general ISFP behavior, though. Even for me, my experiences with it were completely limited to that one relationship. Before my ex-girlfriend I couldn't even think about cheating and definitely didn't expect anyone to do that to me. It's still the same, really - although it makes me a huge hypocrite, I dislike cheaters and don't think you should be with someone in the first place if you're even thinking of betraying them. Nowadays I've just learned to prepare for everything in relationships and have a hard time giving pieces of myself to anyone, since I'm already ready for them to betray my trust. I almost expect it. That's the reason behind the recent "foot in the door" technique, too - when I'm not fully in, I can't get hurt.

There's a difference between cheating and keeping your shields up and options open. If I ever got to a true, heartfelt relationship, I simply couldn't cheat - it's an impossible thought. Same thing with a less serious thing, too, since I still am a loyal person, but in that case there'd be that lingering feeling of guarding myself and sort of preparing for the end already. It's not a good thing, since although it's not a direct letdown like cheating, it's extremely hurtful for the other party on the emotional level.

ISFPs hate having their freedom taken away, though, so to find yourself with a needy, clingy partner is like hell on earth.
This x 1000. When someone's too much of a pushover, I tend to just run away. ISFPs are like mice, it seems. Baby steps and all that - take it too far too soon and we'll disappear.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Cheating isn't always to be blamed on the relationship. Often times it's due to personal problems of the cheater.

When this happens, it's usually because the cheater wants the world to work out in the exact way they want it to, but it never does, and when they're faced with making compromises they panic and make rash, unhealthy decisions.
 

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I find cheating morally disgusting. At least be honest "I want to see other people."

I think reasonably early in a relationship (I mean within the first five or ten years) it would probably evoke homicidal passions in me to find that my partner had cheated and lied, especially if I found out by other means than them confessing it to me themselves along with an apology.

I think later in a relationship these things can happen if partners drift apart (I'm talking about extremely long-term, even life-long relationships, 10-20+ years) and in that case it *may* be able to be resolved by couple's counseling. Depends. After that amount of time together you have such a solid history it may be worth working through.

But overall, no. Cheating bad, very bad.
 

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Cheating is terrible. My friend just blurted out that his ex wife had cheated on him. That made everything else she did to him pale in comparison. In my mind anyway. I was floored, even though I probably shouldn't have been. I felt so bad for him. I can't imagine the suffering she put him through.

I've never been OK with cheating. I never cheated and I never will. I don't understand the need for it. If you're done, have the you know what to stand up and say "It's over. I'm done. I'm out of here." Why be so deceitful when you can just cut your losses and THEN move on? Cheating is terrible.
 

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If someone cheats on me, I take it as them not being satisfied with me or as a way of them breaking up with me.
How can someone cheat and expect everything to just be okay in their relationship? Its the ultimate sign of either being disloyal, not liking your partner, or having no respect for them.

I wouldn't cheat. I'd break up with the person first. And if someone cheats on me, its pretty much over.
 
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Hey :),

I've been wondering a lot about ISFPs lately. I hope you don't mind my innocent curiosity!

What are your views on cheating? Would you do it? If so, what would the situation have to be? How would you feel if it were done to you?

Also, your views on flirting and sexual experimentation?
Cheating is disgusting as everyone else already said. I don't understand how people who does that can live with themselves!
I would feel like it was the ultimate betrayal if it was done to me. I've been dating people who's been lying and cheating, and I don't think anything else has made me that pissed off.

I would probably do it myself if I knew for a fact that my partner was cheating on me all the time (but hopefully I'd just leave him), and if I met someone that I'd imagine helping me getting over my partner. I mean, I'd do it if I intended to leave the relationship.


I think it's kinda lame to flirt. There's a difference to joke around and be charming (which is how I roll), and to flirt, in my opinion. I see flirting as something you do when you're genuinely interested in someone. I see no reason at all to flirt with my guy friends, just to get attention. That's lame. I just want everyone to be as upfront with their romantical intentions as they can. Because chances are that someone will get hurt otherwise. Why lead people on if you're not into them? I know what it's like when you see some girl flirting with some guy you have feelings for. Unneccessary.
 
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