[Vive]

Sixes are avid troubleshooters and have no trouble finding something about themselves or others that worries them, yet, there are those behaviors we display that go past our radars, because they are so essentially integrated into them. The more we fall in the trap of trying to analyze and troubleshoot all that arouses fear or anxiety in us, the more these behaviors or patterns become prominent.

So what are things you do that consistently upset those dear to you/ the things that really drain you and those around you? Note, though that I'm not asking about what you fear or believe might upset or drain others, but about that which actually did upset them and drains them/you and has continued to do so, until a point in the past or present.

Also, if you recognize such a pattern in yourself have you discovered things that help you avoid it? Have you learned ways to stop displaying those behaviors?

For me the draining factor are the 'spiraling thought patterns' as I'd like to call them. When I'm in a bad mood, I by nature, try to analyze what's going on and find ways to try and stop these moods and move beyond them. Which sounds great in theory, in reality this just doesn't work out. Moods are not rational, they don't just go away when you've realized they are not necessary, they don't move away when you've solved what you want to solve. Of course it's good to have a sense of when your emotions are in proportion with a situation, though in proportion or not, problem solved or not, moods often stay longer than you want them too. Usually this really manages to frustrate me, which causes me to reach out to those friends, but then what happens? My good friends reassure me, but the moods still linger and I keep writing more about that which bothers me and theorizing more and more, until at some point either I get too tired of me or my friend get's really drained and done with me in that moment. This has happened multiple times.

The solution? As dumb as it sounds, it's 'just deal with it'. In this case it means I don't have to seek anything, don't have to do anything, but just feel the full force of my feelings and my moods and just that, nothing more.

 

[irregularpopcorn]

I really had to put some thought into this.

Most of the time, I'm pretty chill, I think. I go with the flow for most things, however, when I am under acute stress or in a situation where things are changing rapidly (out of balance, if you will) I do not have a good sense of my own equilibrium... that is, my internal state ends up mimicking the outside, complete chaos, because I don't have a good grounding.

It's like my brain decides to stop functioning and I end up hyperventilating and getting emotionally unstable, which is way out of character. You absolutely cannot reason with me when I am like that, and unfortunately I think I have driven people away (temporarily, anyway) because they can't handle this unstable mess who is screaming at them when they were 100% fine 10 minutes ago.

 

[Paradigm]

I'd guess my biggest, or most common, bad trait is that I suck at empathy. Either get squicked out by emotional displays and/or I don't know what to say, or I try to distract them from whatever is bothering them. I'm prone to wanting to solve problems, too. I'm trying to work on it, but it's so against my nature and everyone has different needs that I'm not sure how to improve. I guess it's not so much a "habit," but I imagine it's hard for others to try to both not squick me out and have their own emotions.

I'm also really apathetic and don't display emotions much, which is due to depression and a lot of practice. People say I'm hard to read and it puts them off. Like, a lot of people off. Doesn't help that I "shut down" if I feel devalued and then others have to work to get me to open up even the tiniest bit.

I'm easy to get irritated (but not angry, so much). I get especially irritated by people being obtuse or evasive. I get defensive, a lot, too. People find these the most draining, I think, because... well, it does happen a lot... I've truly been trying to curb this for over ten years, it's just still bad.

I get righteous sometimes, and I argue with or ignore anyone who is trying to get one over on me or goes against my logic and morals. I do my own thing a lot, my own way, which annoys "authorities" especially. I ask a lot of questions, which apparently annoys many people - I do it anyway, usually. I'm not pedantic and I hate repetition, just clarify what you mean!

Oh, and sometimes I get clingy. And sometimes I can fall back into my habit of complaining a lot, but I feel like I've broken that habit somewhat. These pop up moreso in unfamiliar territory or when I don't feel good.

 

[Vivid Melody]

I go into problem solving mode when people are feeling down a lot because I want to help. One friend told me I "intellectualize" things too much whenever she was down. Though apparently for the most part, she normally saw me as very supportive. Anyways, this is sometimes my version of empathy. I want to DO something about it. But a lot of times, people just want you to reflect their feelings back at them. I can do that but it doesn't always initially occur to me to do so - probably because it's so simple! lol So I've had to just bite my tongue and do that instead. It's funny to me how well it works.

Also, apparently it's impossible to be empathetic and use critical thinking at the same time anyway so once I'm in my problem solving mode, I do take time to shift over to empathy mode but that doesn't mean I'm not feeling any of it. It's hard to explain. I also do this to bring balance to situations. When someone is overly emotional, I like to be calm and rational to help and when someone is not showing enough empathy, sometimes I can bring in the empathy. I'm sure this probably is annoying to some people because they either think A. I don't care or B. I'm just being oppositional. The solution? Lets talk about why I do these things and laugh about it with each other instead? lol Displaying more reassurance that I care.

And then just the normal stuff like being reactive and defensive sometimes comes to mind. The solution? Time alone to cool off and change my perception.

 

[twirler]

'spiraling thought patterns'

I suffer from that too.

And, when I am overly anxious, I ask for reassurance about dumb things. Reassure me that I am awesome and okay and fine and what I did there was fine and blah blah blah at a disgustingly high rate. I know I am being annoying, but it is hard to stop. It's like I need to get all of my thoughts out there before I can be okay. I don't even know that I receive the reassurance which I am sure is even more draining on my beloveds.

I think my best solution so far has been to identify what it is I really want reassurance in, say that specifically, instead of trying to be super strong on my own and holding it all in for too long. When I hold it in too long, when it comes out, it is a mess and burdensome for the recipient.

 

[Temizzle]

I've been seeing a 6 for some time now. She's great but here's some bad habits I can mirror for you...

Whining and complaining can be cute at first and I'm glad I'm hearing what you're struggling with but it's done more than necessary and can make you look borderline pathetic at times, which ain't always cute.

I've noticed a tendency to self-sabotage good things, beats me as to why but tread carefully.

There's a tendency to try to express things rationally with a straight face or small gestures -- but sometimes you've got to get big, loud, and clear to get your point across -- don't assume people will pick up on what you're explaining or implying.

Aside from that, so far my experience is pretty good with 6s. You're funny, likable, good at keeping me accountable, and even better at warning me before I do some stupid shit that will step on people's toes when I don't intend to.

 

[Squirt]

I very rarely discuss my "thought pattern spirals" even though they happen regularly. Most people don't see all that inner turmoil unless they are very perceptive. Sometimes I can be too quiet about what I'm feeling - I've had close friends complain to me that I don't open up to them, and they think I must not trust them (and honestly, I don't... but not because of anything about them, but about me).

I really distressed my husband recently when something upset me so much I left the apartment without saying anything and went on a walk at night. I was gone probably half an hour. When I got back my husband looked scared out of his mind and was putting his coat on. I apologized, but that is all I said to him for the rest of that evening. I don't put him through stuff like that very often, but when I'm extremely upset I want to be alone and cannot talk to anyone, which I know can be distressing for loved ones. The best I can manage this is by letting them know beforehand that when I upset this is how I am going to be.

When I was very young I alienated a lot of people unintentionally. I didn't understand boundaries very well and I had a habit of voicing whatever was on my mind regardless if people cared. I did not pick up on social cues and was very demanding and critical of others.

I think part of what brought me out of it was my confusion about why I was so disliked. I truly did not see how my behavior was affecting other people - so I became very quiet, and observant, and learned to see from other people's perspectives. Even though I am much more socially adjusted, there is still a lingering doubt that I can really be uninhibited with others, can understand them, or be understood.

I've been seeing a 6 for some time now. She's great but here's some bad habits I can mirror for you...

Whining and complaining can be cute at first and I'm glad I'm hearing what you're struggling with but it's done more than necessary and can make you look borderline pathetic at times, which ain't always cute.

I've noticed a tendency to self-sabotage good things, beats me as to why but tread carefully.

There's a tendency to try to express things rationally with a straight face or small gestures -- but sometimes you've got to get big, loud, and clear to get your point across -- don't assume people will pick up on what you're explaining or implying.

Aside from that, so far my experience is pretty good with 6s. You're funny, likable, good at keeping me accountable, and even better at warning me before I do some stupid shit that will step on people's toes when I don't intend to.

Haha, this seems like such a characteristic 8 view; the bolded parts sound very much like the approach of an Eight.

 

[Flaming Bassoon]

Physically speaking, I pick at my fingers and cause hangnails when I'm either bored or anxious, which happens to be all the time, considering that those are my two default emotions. The food I eat is either really good for me or really bad; I have very little in-between (6 vs 7, and also sp/sx).

Socially/emotionally speaking, it takes me a long time to become comfortable with other people. I am inherently suspicious and distrusting, and have a tendency to push people away. I am hypercritical of myself and others, and this manifests itself in a sarcastic, quick wit; apparently, I have a tendency to "roast" people. While this is funny, I'm sure this is also off-putting.

Mainly I have a lack of self-confidence. I have a hell of a lot more than I used to, but I am still indecisive and lack a sort of proactivity and initiative. There were several instances in my current college career where I could have had great opportunities but either didn't think I was good enough or found the social pressures to be too much. I hate asking anyone for help or advice or to assist me in any way, like a professor, because I feel like I'm being annoying, even though they obviously don't mind, it's part of their job.

Oh yeah, and overthinking minutiae that no one else gives a shit about and constantly worrying that someone is mad at me.

 

[Curiously]

Let me preface I've shown improvements in these departments, but I'm not in the clear 100%, so they're relevant to the OP's inquiry.

One thing I do that irritates or frustrates folks is my tendency not to tell them something is broken. Like if there's a leak in my bathroom and it's not something that needs immediate attention, I won't bring it up right away. I leave out (irrational perhaps) hope the leak will go away or I can fix it somehow, but I know better now to just tell the person I need to tell about the problem. I know this tendency stems from my desire not to anger, frustrate, or burden the other person.

Another thing is how I use a room, whether my own room or office. As long as my room is functional and I know where most things are, I don't need it to be in perfect organizational, tidy form. There might be a few extra boxes and files and whatnot that could ideally be put away elsewhere to allow for better feng-shui and tidyness, but I don't care so much about this while I have met people who would find my form of tidyness not to their liking and standards. Oh well, my philosophy boils down to this: let me do my work or live here in peace in my room and as long as I'm functioning pretty well, why are you bothering me with your standards and expectations? Really, just leave me alone and keep your opinions to yourself, thanks.

 

[Stellafera]

SFor me the draining factor are the 'spiraling thought patterns' as I'd like to call them. When I'm in a bad mood, I by nature, try to analyze what's going on and find ways to try and stop these moods and move beyond them. Which sounds great in theory, in reality this just doesn't work out. Moods are not rational, they don't just go away when you've realized they are not necessary, they don't move away when you've solved what you want to solve. Of course it's good to have a sense of when your emotions are in proportion with a situation, though in proportion or not, problem solved or not, moods often stay longer than you want them too. Usually this really manages to frustrate me, which causes me to reach out to those friends, but then what happens? My good friends reassure me, but the moods still linger and I keep writing more about that which bothers me and theorizing more and more, until at some point either I get too tired of me or my friend get's really drained and done with me in that moment. This has happened multiple times.

The solution? As dumb as it sounds, it's 'just deal with it'. In this case it means I don't have to seek anything, don't have to do anything, but just feel the full force of my feelings and my moods and just that, nothing more.

Pretty much this. And I always am thinking to myself "I'm on the verge of a breakthrough I swear" and then I go to bed with my brain burning with furious resolve and wake up in the morning and think to myself "what the hell was that about".

-------

I jump the gun when I perceive other people "dismissing" any anxiety I feel ("it's going to be fine") or worse yet interpret me as being at a level 5 worked up about something when I'm actually at a level 1.2. People have this tendency to assume I'm in stress shutdown mode just because I tend to wear nervousness visibly rather than burying it. And maybe it's because I always do exist at a mild level of "stress" that perhaps others have to be provoked into. In any case, I have to steady myself and remember that people are only trying to help. Nevertheless, I pretty much never snap at people about anything so it stands out that I have this button to press.

For a case where I didn't steady myself, there's this recent conversation with a friend:

Friend: You seem really stressed out.
Me: I was, but mostly I've arranged what I need to do to resolve the problem, and all that's left is executing those steps. :frustrating:
Friend: You should take a breath...
Me: I ALREADY TOOK A DEEP BREATH! :angry:

I realized about 5 seconds afterwards how ridiculous that sounded. :laughing:

I also tend to convert the mental thought of "I could've done better" to "this is just evidence of a systemic pattern of failure on your part blah blah blah negative self talk", but that's another matter. I pretty much end up having that thought at some point every single day. Something that helps me when I get spiraling thoughts is breathing and spinning my hand around subtly in a circle to "wave out" the thoughts. Nobody taught me this, it's just a weird thing I came up with about a month ago and it really seems to help.

 

[Coburn]

Off the top of my head, there aren't any major patterns in my behavior that bother other people.

Some things I can recall that have bothered people (that were brought to my attention):

1. Can be inflexible. If I decide I am or am not doing something, that's it. I'm not changing from my decision. I take awhile to really get to a solid, firm decision on something, but once I'm there nobody's input matters. For example, there are some family traditions I opted out of a few years ago because they're just too...boring? I don't know. They bother me like folding laundry bothers me. It's just something that agitates me.

It took a couple years for my family to finally stop asking me to join. No amount of tradition, guilt-tripping, family-tripping, etc. could make me change my mind.

2. Very bad with remembering details about others. Don't remember birthdays, favorite films, favorite music, eye-color, or any other details. I'll ask multiple times before it begins to sink in (and sometimes it never does). For people who measure relationships by this, I come off as a very bad friend.

This doesn't apply if the detail is delivered as a story. I have a ridiculously good memory for stories.

3. Not terribly proactive in my relationships. If the other person doesn't reach out, I'll forget about them or forget to contact them for awhile. I am drawn more to the impersonal part of the world (tasks, activities, skills, knowledge, etc.), so relationships are always an afterthought.



______


Regarding first one, I can't be bothered to change this. It is what it is. People just need to deal with it.

Regarding the second one, I've mostly solved this by heavily reinforcing it. If everyone is 100% clear that I cannot, at any point, be expected to remember these things, than no one has any unreasonable expectations. No one gets upset.

Regarding third...working on it. I try to think about people a little more. Still kind of bad at it.

 

[Vive]

Pretty much this. And I always am thinking to myself "I'm on the verge of a breakthrough I swear" and then I go to bed with my brain burning with furious resolve and wake up in the morning and think to myself "what the hell was that about".

For me the thing is that I always somewhat frustrated about something relating to me. I want to constantly be improving and if I perceive I'm not I get annoyed and anxious about somehow being 'wrong'. The fun part is also that I have realized that 'when I reach out' when frustrated I actually spend most of my time talking at my friends and almost treating them as if they are some abstraction. If I can't accept my feelings properly dealing with them is almost going to be pretty much impossible.

I jump the gun when I perceive other people "dismissing" any anxiety I feel ("it's going to be fine") or worse yet interpret me as being at a level 5 worked up about something when I'm actually at a level 1.2. People have this tendency to assume I'm in stress shutdown mode just because I tend to wear nervousness visibly rather than burying it. And maybe it's because I always do exist at a mild level of "stress" that perhaps others have to be provoked into. In any case, I have to steady myself and remember that people are only trying to help. Nevertheless, I pretty much never snap at people about anything so it stands out that I have this button to press.

For a case where I didn't steady myself, there's this recent conversation with a friend:

Friend: You seem really stressed out.
Me: I was, but mostly I've arranged what I need to do to resolve the problem, and all that's left is executing those steps.
Friend: You should take a breath...
Me: I ALREADY TOOK A DEEP BREATH!

I realized about 5 seconds afterwards how ridiculous that sounded.

This reminds me of the first time I ever went to see a psychologist and she told me that I looked a little frustrated and angry and I was like: I'M NOT ANGRY :angry:!! -- obviously I realized I was angry a couple seconds later and I apologized. I also relate to mostly being slightly more on edge than others, but I am also pretty much an open book when it comes to body language. It's incredibly easy to read me. Mostly people may see anxiety, but some mostly see the frustration. Generally they are linked, because my frustration brings me to my anxiety, because well if I'm not performing as I should I get very concerned about myself, often for no real good reason I might add.

I personally tend to agree with those that dismiss my anxiety, though, because well I generally don't really value me getting anxious about having everything done right (by my ridiculous standards anyways). I vaguely see the point of my anxiety, but I mostly see it's not helping, which well gets me into meta-frustration: "Why am I getting so anxious about something that is really just not worth my time?". Again, the important factor is that I forgot to accept my feelings. Obviously this is not something I can do so easily, because I get into meta loops about making sure I am letting go as much as possible. This makes me set standards even when it comes to letting go. Like I said, frustrating, but the point being that it would be wise for me to let go of my self-control a bit from time to time, especially when I feel impulses rise I really don't like to see or think of in any way.

Might add a little later, but heading out for now

 

[Vermillion]

needed to come online just to respond to this, primarily to serve as a vocalization of my own bad habits so I work on them.

What other people get most frustrated by is that I don't give enough of a fuck about them. This may sound strange but it's a genuine problem. I consistently run into issues where I get so involved in my own work and emotions and thoughts that I just forget to talk to them for weeks on end. It's not even something targeted to specific individuals; it could be anyone. But I just... forget to respond. Sometimes they may call me on the phone, and I might not pick up just because I don't feel like it, even if we had plans together. Sometimes they may walk past me but I won't say hi or smile. Sometimes I'll make plans and just not explain why I couldn't keep up with them until after some days.

I don't know why I do it, but it irritates nearly everyone I know because I'm essentially leaving them hanging. I love and appreciate all my close friends dearly, but sometimes I just get this bout of no, must retreat into my shell and close myself off. I've repeatedly compared myself, in jest, to hedgehogs and turtles and other animals with defense mechanisms specifically meant to ward off intrusion. I just have to go back into my shell sometimes until I regenerate enough energy for social interaction.

It has been a very conscious and actually, painful effort to work on this habit. I used to think I don't have many friends because I'm weird or unlikeable, but I've figured out it's actually because I don't pour enough time, consistency, and presence into my relationships. I just cancel myself out from the interaction and disappear. I have to consciously remind myself to check that all my texts have been responded to. I have to consciously remind myself to ask about people's feelings and stuff. Over the past year or so I've gotten a lot better at it (even though I'm still quite awful) and because of it I have a small and stable group of very trustworthy friends.

The next challenge for me, I'd say, is getting better at time and commitments so I actually make it to the things I say I will. I also need to develop a sense of inherent belonging in groups, instead of always approaching them with the mindset of being an outsider and not participating or being hostile, hence creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Enneagram-wise I dunno how I'd explain it... perhaps an intensely strong 5 wing, or an awful SO-blindspot, or both. I'm simultaneously the most attached and guarded person I know.

 

[Paradigm]

I personally tend to agree with those that dismiss my anxiety, though, because well I generally don't really value me getting anxious about having everything done right (by my ridiculous standards anyways). I vaguely see the point of my anxiety, but I mostly see it's not helping, which well gets me into meta-frustration: "Why am I getting so anxious about something that is really just not worth my time?".

This is really close to how I view people "dismissing" my anxiety. I had clinical levels of anxiety throughout my childhood, so I learned a lot earlier than most people that the anxiety I'm/you're feeling is probably either "nothing" or "almost insignificant." Everything I worried about as a kid/teenager was pretty valid but also pretty insignificant, all things considered... So I now have an outlook of "that thing you're stressing over only requires maybe a tenth of the energy you're giving it." I guess people don't like this utilitarian outlook, even the non-6s.

Now, if people try to say or imply that I'm lying about how anxious I feel, well... That's a whole different story. I'm probably not going to talk to you again if you do that.

 

[ElectricSlime]

Dwell in doubts, procrastination and negativity -> have good stuff happen -> decide consciously to be more positive, active and achieve stuff -> become the godmode version of myself and have a streak of success in all areas of my life -> have others resent you for it -> get insecure and start putting into question all your relationships and who can be trusted -> dwell in doubts, procrastination and negativity

 

[Krayfish]

So what are things you do that consistently upset those dear to you/ the things that really drain you and those around you?

My general detachment from relationships is a big one. A lot of people dear to me become irritable because I "refuse" to create close ties with others and generally don't take obvious initiative in maintaining those bonds or expressing my sentiments towards others. People often feel uneasy because they can't tell if I like them or if I'm just being friendly, and I'd agree with them that that's super frustrating to deal with.

My indecision. I don't like making decisions from the get go because I'm a "circular thinker" who has a tendency to over analyze my actions and the possibilities that they entail. It'd be ok if I just did this with simple things but in the end this happens with stupid things like deciding what to eat for lunch. Generally people find this circular thinking to be annoying (except in discussion I guess sometimes) in excess, especially when in regards to simple tasks

My anxiety. Even my mom, who has an anxiety disorder, finds my anxiety to be annoying. I have a tendency to get anxious about "simple things," so I am told, that don't actually matter. I am very predictive and and consequence oriented, and why I'm definitely more optimistic than I should be, I sometimes over-perceive danger and become very verbal about it. It draining for me because freaking out all the time is generally exhausting but also being told that my fears and anxieties are stupid also sucks.

My energy is the last big one. Especially when I'm not feeling well I get overly optimistic and energetic to the point where people in not so great moods get really annoyed.


Also, if you recognize such a pattern in yourself have you discovered things that help you avoid it? Have you learned ways to stop displaying those behaviors?

Yeah definitely. The relationship thing is a tough one since I just noticed, but I'm trying to be more verbal. With my indecision, I've sort of just compensated by under thinking less important things or "going with my gut," which has actually been very helpful. With my anxiety that one's rough because I might actually just have a disorder or something, butt I've just compensating by either explaining myself and why I think there might be a problem or just shutting up. Sarcastically showing this is sort of useful too. Finally with the optimism, I just try to tone it down when I can.

 

[Squirt]

Pretty much this. And I always am thinking to myself "I'm on the verge of a breakthrough I swear" and then I go to bed with my brain burning with furious resolve and wake up in the morning and think to myself "what the hell was that about".

-------

I jump the gun when I perceive other people "dismissing" any anxiety I feel ("it's going to be fine") or worse yet interpret me as being at a level 5 worked up about something when I'm actually at a level 1.2. People have this tendency to assume I'm in stress shutdown mode just because I tend to wear nervousness visibly rather than burying it. And maybe it's because I always do exist at a mild level of "stress" that perhaps others have to be provoked into. In any case, I have to steady myself and remember that people are only trying to help. Nevertheless, I pretty much never snap at people about anything so it stands out that I have this button to press.

For a case where I didn't steady myself, there's this recent conversation with a friend:

Friend: You seem really stressed out.
Me: I was, but mostly I've arranged what I need to do to resolve the problem, and all that's left is executing those steps. :frustrating:
Friend: You should take a breath...
Me: I ALREADY TOOK A DEEP BREATH! :angry:

I realized about 5 seconds afterwards how ridiculous that sounded. :laughing:

I also tend to convert the mental thought of "I could've done better" to "this is just evidence of a systemic pattern of failure on your part blah blah blah negative self talk", but that's another matter. I pretty much end up having that thought at some point every single day. Something that helps me when I get spiraling thoughts is breathing and spinning my hand around subtly in a circle to "wave out" the thoughts. Nobody taught me this, it's just a weird thing I came up with about a month ago and it really seems to help.

I get this. I find it difficult to deal with people that tell me to calm down or point out how I look stressed, or similar, because

1) my first thought is about how I am to reassure them about my stress, which is draining when I am already stressed
2) it can be patronizing, as if I require their attention lest I fall apart
3) it comes with the inference that my stress is not legitimate, when usually I am stressed for pretty good reasons

Might try your hand wave trick. roud:

It draining for me because freaking out all the time is generally exhausting but also being told that my fears and anxieties are stupid also sucks.

You sound so defeated here, but it puts the absurdity of the situation into perspective. Have you ever stated this to the people that are telling you it is stupid? It should make them realize they are being jerks.

I suppose one thing to remember about annoying other people is that maybe they are the ones with a problem, not you, at least sometimes. :frustrating:

 

[Krayfish]

You sound so defeated here, but it puts the absurdity of the situation into perspective. Have you ever stated this to the people that are telling you it is stupid? It should make them realize they are being jerks.

I suppose one thing to remember about annoying other people is that maybe they are the ones with a problem, not you, at least sometimes. :frustrating:

Lol yeah, I feel pretty defeated. I tried to explain this to people a couple of times, especially since a lot of times they don't realize that undermining my feelings can be harmful. I'm crap at explaining things though (outside of writing I guess), so people don't typically understand that they're being somewhat insensitive (even though my fears are often irrational) even when I do try to explain. Idk, I had a family member laugh in my face after explanation so idk anymore :/ .

That's good advice though, especially for someone as self critical as I am.

 

[ENIGMA2019]

Procrastination.

When I am extremely stressed out and people do not listen to my cues on I can not deal with this right now (I am usually the go to everyone wants help or advice from) and they get pissy, I in turn get pissed off. When I am in a good place and they come to me the next time, they do not get the same level of help? not sure what the word is I am looking for but, I remember how inconsiderate they were before when my needs were neglected and this can cause discord. I then care less about them which, is probably not the best way to handle it.

If someone tells a lie once, I will never fully trust them and start questioning them as a person.

I do not need people often to lean on but, if I need to lean one time and you are not there, you will eventually be dead to me.

Mind you I give fully. I believe you get what you give so, I am not requiring of others what I have or am willing to do for them.

If I have a problem and can not come to a quick solution, the more I think about it and it is unresolved the more agitated/grouchy I become. I usually instantly make decisions with no problem.

I second whomever said laundry.