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I find myself doing this sometimes.... at times it gets pretty bad, and I feel guilty about it. I feel like I am being selfish and I am wondering if any of you also zone out during conversations, what are your feelings about it, and do you have any insights or tips?

I zone out the most when my mother is speaking. My mother is an ESFJ and she is VERY talkative and extroverted. She loves talking about anything that floats into her mind. She often says "I'm just thinking outloud." which she is...and I guess I don't understand why she feels compelled to do this? She chit-chats much of the time. For instance, when she comes back from the grocery store, she will tell me everything she bought and tell me about every coupon she used. She says things I see as really unnecessary. She will tell me what she is doing [like making food, cleaning] as I am seeing her do it. ? I don't know how to respond much of the time. It really seems like she is just talking to herself outloud most of the time. And because she does that so often, it's like I don't know when I need to listen and when I don't need to listen to her.

I've, kinda unfortunately, gotten pretty good at fake listening. I will make facial expression and responses "haha" "yeah" "really?" "that's cool." in a convincing way that seem like active listening.... I feel bad about this. But she is VERY easily offended and cannot handle criticism. She takes things very personally. If I told her to tone down the talking or showed disinterest, she would get really upset [and then probably try to guilt trip me and feel sorry for herself].

I've started using this fake listening towards other people also.

Since I am naturally a more quiet person, I get dubbed the official listener quite a lot, and for that reason very talkative people are usually drawn to me. But some days, I wake up to my mom talking non-stop, my brother will go on a ten minute monologue trying to explain how some computer mechanics work [which I am not THAT interested in], I get bombarded by texts from a very talkative friend. And another VERY talkative friend will have sent me paragraph after paragraph after paragraph of random thoughts....I just get overloaded and can't listen anymore.
 

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I have no problem reading ramblings since I can read it in chunks.

All I gotta say is...don't marry and ENTP 7!! LOL!! I try very, very hard to listen to him actively. But my brain doesn't listen to me! :frustrating: And I zone out. I also use the fake listening facial expressions and acknowledging statements. But he knows me well enough to know the difference. So it doesn't work anymore. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

With most people I can listen without zoning out, though. It's just harder for me with people who don't listen in return, ever. :happy: --- EDIT: I feel the need to add that I know at least one ENTP 7 who does a marvelous job of listening. I don't mean to be typist. lol.
 

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I have no problem reading ramblings since I can read it in chunks.

All I gotta say is...don't marry and ENTP 7!! LOL!! I try very, very hard to listen to him actively. But my brain doesn't listen to me! :frustrating: And I zone out. I also use the fake listening facial expressions and acknowledging statements. But he knows me well enough to know the difference. So it doesn't work anymore. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

With most people I can listen without zoning out, though. It's just harder for me with people who don't listen in return, ever. :happy:
hahaha! :] The two friends I was talking about in my post, I have previously guessed as both being ENTP 7's [or something similar at least] :p I love talking to them because they both LOVE philosophy and random knowledge [as do I] but after a while, I am done talking and listening and just wanna take a nap.
 

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I have no problem reading ramblings since I can read it in chunks.

All I gotta say is...don't marry and ENTP 7!! LOL!! I try very, very hard to listen to him actively. But my brain doesn't listen to me! :frustrating: And I zone out. I also use the fake listening facial expressions and acknowledging statements. But he knows me well enough to know the difference. So it doesn't work anymore. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

With most people I can listen without zoning out, though. It's just harder for me with people who don't listen in return, ever. :happy:
Heh.... I plan on marrying one... dunno if he's a 7... I've become accustomed.

With my mom, I tune out logically, but I stay emotionally in touch. It's WEIRD! Probably not a good habit... it's like not knowing what exactly we're talking about, but knowing "how" we're talking about it.
 

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the time. And because she does that so often, it's like I don't know when I need to listen and when I don't need to listen to her.

I've, kinda unfortunately, gotten pretty good at fake listening. I will make facial expression and responses "haha" "yeah" "really?" "that's cool." in a convincing way that seem like active listening.... I feel bad about this. But she is VERY easily offended and cannot handle criticism. She takes things very personally. If I told her to tone down the talking or showed disinterest, she would get really upset [and then probably try to guilt trip me and feel sorry for herself].

I've started using this fake listening towards other people also.
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Haha, I'm the same exact way. Sometimes as a person is talking to me I'm thinking of other important things while still maintaining eye contact with them.
 

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I find myself doing this sometimes.... at times it gets pretty bad, and I feel guilty about it. I feel like I am being selfish and I am wondering if any of you also zone out during conversations, what are your feelings about it, and do you have any insights or tips?

I zone out the most when my mother is speaking. My mother is an ESFJ and she is VERY talkative and extroverted. She loves talking about anything that floats into her mind. She often says "I'm just thinking outloud." which she is...and I guess I don't understand why she feels compelled to do this? She chit-chats much of the time. For instance, when she comes back from the grocery store, she will tell me everything she bought and tell me about every coupon she used. She says things I see as really unnecessary. She will tell me what she is doing [like making food, cleaning] as I am seeing her do it. ? I don't know how to respond much of the time. It really seems like she is just talking to herself outloud most of the time. And because she does that so often, it's like I don't know when I need to listen and when I don't need to listen to her.

I've, kinda unfortunately, gotten pretty good at fake listening. I will make facial expression and responses "haha" "yeah" "really?" "that's cool." in a convincing way that seem like active listening.... I feel bad about this. But she is VERY easily offended and cannot handle criticism. She takes things very personally. If I told her to tone down the talking or showed disinterest, she would get really upset [and then probably try to guilt trip me and feel sorry for herself].

I've started using this fake listening towards other people also.

Since I am naturally a more quiet person, I get dubbed the official listener quite a lot, and for that reason very talkative people are usually drawn to me. But some days, I wake up to my mom talking non-stop, my brother will go on a ten minute monologue trying to explain how some computer mechanics work [which I am not THAT interested in], I get bombarded by texts from a very talkative friend. And another VERY talkative friend will have sent me paragraph after paragraph after paragraph of random thoughts....I just get overloaded and can't listen anymore.
I often do this when my dad or my husband try to talk to me about cars >.> since I tend to identify cars by "that little red one over there"
it is very hard to take in what ever they are saying about parts I've never heard of things that are wrong ect...I'm just like "mmmhmmm ...yes.... I see.....so ...can you fix it? or is this going to be hard/ cost money?"
 

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Worse than zoning out in those situations (which I'm guilty of too sometimes) is involuntarily YAWNING repeatedly during a person's monologue about whatever it is s/he is on about. Compounding the problem further, I am conscious of this seemingly autonomic response to his/her uninteresting, minutiae-driven gabbing--and, specifically, how rude this could look, but I can't do much to stop it once it starts. Typically, I want nothing more than to let the person I'm listening to know I care about what they say by being alert and attentive, but even during these instances, with the sincerest intentions in mind, I sometimes just can't help myself.
 

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I also do this when whatever is being said becomes truly inane. A lot of people I know can't ever seem to just get to the point and be content with that once they get there, so once I get the gist of what they're saying I engage this 'fake listening' procedure.

Sort of related, I dislike how 'important' eye contact is when listening... I don't freaking hear with my eyes; I do a much better job retaining/giving thought to information if I'm staring off into space.
 

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I'm actually pretty good at zoning out but at the same time knowing what people are talking about once I return from my "trance". It's as if I unconsciously pick up the general idea and can fill in the lines afterwards. Of course, I try to stay present as much as I can as courtesy, but some habits are hard to break.
 

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I tend to half-listen when I'm tired or have a lot on my mind. Most of the time I get away with it, but my sister caught me a few times by saying 'What are you agreeing to?' and I just went 'Uhhh...'. It's kind of embarrassing I'm not able to keep my mind focused on a conversation I'm not engaged in. I do really care what people say - even just a few words can say a whole lot more - but I guess brains get tired like other muscles, and need a little break.
 

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Lol how rude we are!

Fake listening, eye contact while thinking about humanity, even the yawning! Tsk Tsk...

Lol no I'm kidding, I only don't listen when I already know the answer. They'll be asking me about advice on what to do about rude things people do to them, and im sitting there thinking.."Forgive them, forgive them, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." So I tell them, but sometimes they INSIST on either not taking the advice, or keep on fishing for an answer I will never give them. That's when my brain starts taking a break.."Geez does he know his breath smells like old coffee? I wonder how often he brushes...ooh look a mustang!" Yes that's pretty rude I know...but I do it sometimes.
 

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:blushed: I do it too sometimes.. Hope I won't get caught :unsure:
 
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I usually don't zone out except here and there; but, to be honest, if someone just yammers on and on and on without giving me a word in edgewise, I feel like they're asking for it. I can't really pay attention to a conversation that I'm not expected to participate in. I never zone out when my ENFJ friend talks, for instance, even though he's pretty chatty, because not only does he expect me to pipe in once in a while, with a prompt response, but he kinda expects me to remember the things he said, so I make a huge effort to be paying attention. My mom's like that too, but she's my mom; it's different with a friend, lol.
 

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I can zone out multiple times when someone is talking to me. I have a problem with hearing and not listening, but I usually blame it on ADD. Most of the time I'm just trying to get the important points of the conversation, or big picture, so I can come up with something to say.
 

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Most of the time I'm just trying to get the important points of the conversation, or big picture, so I can come up with something to say.
Yep, I'm the type of person who is constantly asking, "OK, what's your point?" of course in my head, never out loud. But I don't want the details, I just want the general overview of what you're trying to say. Details are definitely my achille's heel, I'm horrible with them because once I can get the blueprint of the conversation or a concept, I don't need the details to understand them.

In other words, when I understand A, I understand Z. However, most conversations go from A to B then to C...and so on. So by the time you get to D, I'm already bored or zoning out.

P.S. I bet you're already zoning out from this post lol but oh well, sometimes it can't be helped :tongue:
 

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Yep, I'm the type of person who is constantly asking, "OK, what's your point?" of course in my head, never out loud. But I don't want the details, I just want the general overview of what you're trying to say. Details are definitely my achille's heel, I'm horrible with them because once I can get the blueprint of the conversation or a concept, I don't need the details to understand them.

In other words, when I understand A, I understand Z. However, most conversations go from A to B then to C...and so on. So by the time you get to D, I'm already bored or zoning out.

P.S. I bet you're already zoning out from this post lol but oh well, sometimes it can't be helped
Lol! I'll admit, I skimmed after the first few sentences ;P but I went back and read all of it. That's pretty much me too.
 

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Lol! I'll admit, I skimmed after the first few sentences ;P but I went back and read all of it. That's pretty much me too.
haha I figured :wink:
 

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I do that a lot. I feel terrible for it too because everyone says I'm a good to talk to when they need to vent. I listen when it's serious but if it's not something I need to hear, my mind just sorta wanders a good bit of the time.


I do sorta wonder what my subconscious picks up on though...
 

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I have a grandmother like this. She talks about random things going on with people while I'm on the computer. Most of the time she doesn't realize that I'm not really listening. ^_^U
 
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